Alec was walking down a deserted street in Brooklyn, lamenting over his unfortunate and completely unromantic relationship with Jace. He thought of his Parabatai's perfect golden locks and deliciously toned abs. The mental image was almost too much to bear; Alec was on the verge of falling to his knees and sobbing desperately out of woe.

However, the blue-eyed shadow hunter saw something out of the corner of his eye

just before he broke down in utter misery. There was a glittery poster pinned up on the wall of a building to his left. In great big blue letters, the paper proclaimed, "FREE SEX!"

Intrigued, Alec approached the poster, reading the smaller print underneath.

Yes, indeed! I am offering free sex. But only if you are a rather oblivious gay shadow hunter with black hair and blue eyes who is currently still in the closet. Also, your name must be Alec Lightwood. Head to the apartment of Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, between the hours of 11:30 p.m. and 3:52 a.m. if interested. Bring whipped cream.

P.S. You're sexy!

Alec turned his head to the side, staring at the glittering poster thoughtfully. "What a flattering advertisement!" he exclaimed. "I might as well check it out, as I am extremely vulnerable and confused at this particular moment in time. I wonder why they are offering "sex" inside Magnus's apartment. What is this "sex"? Perhaps this mysterious individual means to invite me in for a pleasant chat over candy and strawberry shortcakes! That must be what the whipped cream is for!"

Alec proceeded to skip joyfully down the street, but hadn't gotten more than five feet before he stopped dead in his tracks, a blinding terror gripping at his heart.

"How do they know I'm gay?" he screamed out loud, causing a few people to peer out through their windows curiously. Upon seeing it was Alec, they chuckled knowingly and went back to their tea and biscuits. "Oh, Alec," they crooned as they shook their heads. "Who doesn't know?"

Outside, Alec was shrieking girlishly whilst tearing the poster to shreds, least Jace should see it. He still planned on accepting the kind individual's offer for sugary treats, but was flummoxed as to why they would post such personal information in such a public place, where prying eyes and ravenous fangirls could see.

Hiding a particularly shiny strip of poster in his jacket pocket, Alec checked his watch. "Oh! How convenient! It is precisely 12:25 a.m., which falls nicely into the given times provided by my anonymous friend! Why I'm walking down a street in Brooklyn at this hour, I have no idea, but I think I shall proceed to Magnus's apartment so we might begin our chat."

And off he went, sauntering... dare I say it….

… gaily down the street towards his destination.