Spoilers for 3x20: It does borrow some general premise from the beginning of that episode, but this Sheldon doesn't knuckle-under to Leonard/Howard/Raj. And it's not a rewrite, it just has a few similar scenes.

A/N: I like Raj better than this, but he didn't stand up for Sheldon, so he gets lumped with Leonard and Howard.

Penny and Leonard had just broken up. Penny had finally gotten tired of just being used for sex, and brought it up one evening. She had no intentions of breaking up with him, she just wanted him to realize that there was more to her than sex and a pretty face he could show off. But Leonard had of course taken it poorly, and they started yelling, and before long Penny had dumped him. She'd tried so hard for so long to make their relationship work, but even she could only put up with being nothing more than a sex toy for so long.

After a few desperate attempts to convince her she was making a mistake and to try to convince her to have make-up sex with him, Penny finally shoved Leonard out of her apartment and slammed the door behind him. Sinking against her door, she heard him storm across the hall, and yell a few unintelligible things at Sheldon, in which she thought she heard the words "your fault", before storming to his bedroom and slamming the door shut.

The following evening, Sheldon was getting his mail when Penny walked in from her afternoon shift at the Cheesecake Factory.

"Hi Sheldon," she said brightly when she saw him.

"Oh, hi Penny," he mumbled, turning slightly away from her. "Leonard said I'm not allowed to talk to you anymore."

"Well, Leonard's wrong. Just because Leonard and I broke up, there's no reason for us to stop being friends," she replied as she got her mail out of the box.

"Oh, good," said Sheldon, cheerfully.

As they started up the stairs together, Penny had an idea. "Hey Sheldon, want to come over and play Halo? I know it's not Halo night, but it's not exactly like I'll be welcome to come over on Halo night for a while. And it is Anything-Can-Happen-Thursday."

"But when? While it is Anything-Can-Happen-Thursday, if I come over now, that will interfere with supper," he whined.

"I'll make French Toast!" she said brightly. "You wouldn't eat any that morning I made them, but you did say that they smelt good; and like we've said, it is Anything-Can-Happen-Thursday," she finished, looking up at him with a teasing pout.

"Oh, very well. Just let me put the mail away first," he acquiesced, as they reached their floor. As Sheldon went into 4A to put away his mail, Penny stood in the landing waiting for him to return.

Entering 4A, Sheldon saw Raj and Howard sitting on the couch, arguing over whether to watch "The Next Generation" or "Deep Space Nine", and Leonard getting something out of the fridge. Sheldon walked over to his desk, set the mail down, and started back towards the door.

"Where you going?" asked Leonard.

"I'm going over to Penny's to play Halo and eat French Toast."

"You can't do that! She's my ex!" shouted Leonard.

"You can't go over to your friend's ex!" shouted Howard at the same time.

"Yeah, dude, totally uncool," added Raj.

"It's against the bro code," said Leonard.

"Bro's before hoe's, man!" finished Howard.

"Well, personally, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of, and it's quite frankly absolutely ridiculous. And as I never signed any 'bro code' agreement, I am in no way obligated to follow it. So good day!" And with that he strode out of the apartment.

When she heard his footsteps, Penny quickly stepped away from the door where she'd been listening. While she'd never admit it to her Whack-a-Doodle neighbor, it really made her feel better to hear him say that. If Leonard thought Sheldon would just knuckle-under, he had a different idea coming.

When Sheldon opened the door, Penny tried to look as nonchalant as she could, as if she hadn't just been eavesdropping on them. Which of course meant that she looked about as guilty as humanly possible, but since it was Sheldon, he didn't notice.

"Ready?" Penny asked him, as she got out her keys and walked over to her door.

"Of course," he replied. "Else I wouldn't be standing here."

At this she just rolled her eyes and opened her door.

Meanwhile, Leonard was ranting to Howard and Raj, and with their encouragement, had built up a solid supply of anger towards Sheldon for 'betraying' him, as he put it. So between the three of them, they hatched up a plan to bring Sheldon's world crashing around him, and force him to move from 'Team Penny' to 'Team Leonard'.

It had all started when Leonard grumbled, "He can't survive without me."

Howard encouraged him, saying, "Exactly. He can't function without you."

"Dude, all you have to do is show him he can't survive on Team Penny, and he'll come crawling back to you begging to let him back onto your team," added Raj.

"You're right," Leonard said, starting to pace across the living room. "His entire schedule is based around me. If I leave, he won't be able to function. He'll have no choice but to beg me to come back." He looked up at the other two. "I just have to move out. Stay somewhere else for a few days until he realizes he can't survive on Team Penny."

"Exactly!" yelled Howard.

So Leonard began packing what he'd need for a few days away, and soon walked out the door with Howard and Raj.

Several hours later, when Sheldon returned from Penny's apartment, he found a note sitting on his desk from Leonard.

"I'm moving out. Enjoy being on Team Penny."
—Leonard

Underneath the note was the roommate contract, torn in two.

Across the hall, Penny had just finished getting ready for bed when she heard Sheldon's classic knock.

"Oh great, what does Whack-a-doodle want now?" she said to herself as she walked to the door, not bothering to throw on her robe.

"Yes?" she asked looking up at him, not bothering to hide her annoyance. While she appreciated him coming over to play Halo with her, he was still Sheldon and she really just wanted to go to bed.

"I need a new roommate, Penny."

"What?"

"Leonard moved out. He left me this note, and the roommate contract torn in two." Sheldon held out the note and the torn up contract.

Penny rubbed her eyes slowly before reaching out and taking the sheets of paper from him. Leaving the door wide open behind her, she walked over to the couch and tossed the papers on top of the mess of clothes lying on the coffee table, before falling onto the couch. She was too tired to deal with this standing up right now. Sheldon remained standing in the hallway right in front of her door watching her, as she slowly reached back out and grabbed the letter.

Normally Penny would have said something to him about not just standing there, but at this point she really didn't care.

She read the letter, and then reread it, because she hadn't taken a word of it in the first time. Then she stared at the words 'Team Penny'.

Before reading the letter, she had been planning on telling him he didn't need a new roommate, he'd be fine on his own until Leonard came back. But that died in her mind as she absorbed the meaning of Leonard's note, and a mixture of pity for Sheldon and anger at Leonard replaced it. She knew Leonard had always been possessive, but she hadn't imagined he'd go so far as to intentionally sabotage his roommate's friendship with her.

She looked up at him, still standing in her doorway.

"Sheldon, honey," she said slowly, "I still have three months left on my apartment."

"Don't worry about that, I'll talk to the building manager tomorrow. He'll let you out of your contract."

Knowing Sheldon, and the hassles he had probably given the building manager over the years, she had little doubt he was right. Most people were willing to do whatever he asked just to get rid of him. Knuckling under was most people's go-to strategy for dealing with the genius whack-a-doodle.

"Your half of the rent will be less than what you're paying now," he added when she didn't respond.

"Sweetie," she began, "it's not about the money..." she trailed off. Taking a deep breath, she began again.

"If…" She paused. "IF," she said again for emphasis, "I agreed to become roommates with you, I would have some rules of my own, and half of the stuff in here," she waved around the torn pieces of the roommate contract, "would be gone. I never signed a friendship contract, and I would only be willing to sign a roommate contract because it's a little bit bigger of a deal, but it's going to be much simpler than this, and we're writing it together. Got it?"

Sheldon nodded.

"All right. I will consider it. And we will resume this conversation tomorrow evening after my shift over normal Friday pizza. So come up with a short argument on why I should, and we'll see."

Sheldon nodded again, before closing her door and heading back to his apartment.

Penny leaned back against the couch, and let out a long sigh. What on earth was she thinking about getting herself into. He was fun to be around on his good days, but it was always nice to have two solid doors between them when she needed it.

On the other hand, Leonard had certainly crossed a line, and she really wanted to show Leonard that Sheldon could do just fine without him.

The following evening, Penny walked up the stairs with pizza in hand, and knocked on the door to 4A. A few seconds later it opened, and Sheldon let her in. Setting the pizza box down on the coffee table, Penny plopped down on the couch in her spot.

Once Sheldon had brought their drinks and plates over and carefully sat down, Penny asked, "Hear from Leonard or the other guys today?"

"No. I briefly saw Howard in the hallway, but he scurried away before I could say hi. And I didn't see any of them at lunch."

"I'm sorry," Penny replied, as she grabbed a slice of pizza and leaned back against the couch. She knew not using her plate would irritate Sheldon, but she'd had a long day, and wasn't in the mood to follow all of Sheldon's eccentricities. Anyway, if he wanted her to be his roommate, he'd have to get used to it.

Sheldon, to his credit, only gave her a quick sidewards glare before carefully selecting a piece and putting it on his plate. Penny figured he was trying to be extra nice to her, so that she would agree to be his roommate as opposed to storming out the door.

After a few minutes of eating in silence, Sheldon spoke; "Am I allowed to begin my arguments now, or would you prefer I wait until after we have finished eating?" he asked hesitantly.

"Go ahead," she replied. She was as curious as anybody else as to why she should agree to be roommates.

"First off, your rent will be less, and the landlord won't be threatening to kick you out if you get behind. Second, you would be able to live in a clean apartment without having to clean it yourself."

At this, Penny made a mental note to include a rule about him not being allowed to clean her room without her express permission.

"Third, you already spend much of your time here anyway, now you won't have to come across the hall to do so. Fourth, you will no longer be stealing our wifi. Fifth, there will always be food available, which is not always the case in your apartment.

"And sixth, you will be able to steal my milk without having to come across the hall," he mumbled under his breath.

At the last one, she smiled to herself. While the first five were all decent reasons, and really the more important reasons, it was the last one that convinced her to become roommates. Sheldon didn't let just anyone steal his milk.

"All right. I'll do it."

"Really?!" He looked at her in surprise, as if he had expected a much tougher argument.

"Yes." She smiled up at him. "But I have some rules of my own."

"Of course," he replied, getting up to grab his laptop.

Three hours later, they finally had a one page roommate contract that they both agreed on.

Penny's rules included that he couldn't come knocking on her door at all odd hours of the night unless it was something she would consider an emergency, he wasn't allowed to clean her room without her permission, he had to learn to drive so that he could drive himself to work (but she would still go with him to the comic book store and grocery store), and he had to let her hug him from time to time without freaking out and running to his bedroom to hide. In exchange, Penny agreed to not be (too) messy in the common areas, and not enter his bedroom.

Saturday morning Sheldon called the landlord, and after a brief heated discussion, the landlord agreed to let Penny out of her lease, so long as she was moved out by Monday. So Penny and Sheldon spent most of Saturday and Sunday packing up Penny's stuff and moving it over to 4A. Sunday night, Penny spent her first night in her new apartment.

Monday lunch time, Penny found herself strolling through the halls of Cal-Tech heading for the cafeteria. Her shift started in an hour, so instead of stealing some of Sheldon's food at the apartment (what with moving, she hadn't had a chance to go by the grocery store yet), she decided to surprise him and meet him for lunch before heading into work; and if that meant showing Leonard and the other guys that Sheldon was doing just fine without them, all the better.

She arrived at the cafeteria just as Sheldon entered from the other side. Since she was on the side where the line started, she stopped to wait for him. Looking around, she saw Team Leonard sitting at a table already eating. They hadn't seemed to notice her yet. The looming presence of six feet and two inches of lanky theoretical physicist brought her out of her reverie.

"What are you doing here?"

Hi Sheldon, nice to see you too!

"Hi Sheldon. I have work in an hour, so I thought I'd come eat lunch with you before heading into work," she replied brightly.

"Oh. Very well." Sheldon turned and started down the line, with Penny following him rolling her eyes.

When they reached the end of the line, Penny found that Sheldon had already paid for her food. Following him over to his table, she said, "You didn't have to pay for mine, Sweetie."

"It is customary when dining with a female friend to pay for her meal," he replied as he sat down at what she assumed was 'his' table. Leonard and gang were at a nearby table, but they were all facing away from Sheldon's table, so she didn't think they knew she was there yet.

"I believe what you're thinking of is a date, honey. It's not necessary when friends go out to eat together."

He simply nodded his head, before saying, "You would have eaten my food anyway if you had eaten at home, so it is no different."

Well, he did have her there. And she certainly wasn't complaining about a free meal, especially since he didn't seem the least bit bothered by it.

She decided now was time to alert the trio to her presence. "So, Sheldon, how has work been so far today?" she asked in a slightly louder than necessary voice she knew would carry to the other table.

Immediately, three heads snapped around. Sheldon had of course launched into a lecture on whatever he had been doing that morning (when creating their roommate contract, she had told him that when she asked that, she wanted him to actually tell her, even though she wouldn't understand any of it. Penny liked hearing him talk about his work, even if she didn't understand a word of it, and she knew it would be good for him to have a chance to talk about it even if she couldn't talk back with him.), but Penny was paying more attention to the sideways stares of their former-friends at the other table.

A few seconds later, the trio scrambled up from their seats, and exited in a rush. Penny smirked to herself as she turned her full attention back to Sheldon, who showed no sign of having noticed the guys' hasty exit.

Over the next couple of weeks, Penny made it a habit to meet Sheldon for lunch as often as her work schedule would allow. Despite her insistence that he needn't pay for her lunch, and making it to the grocery store multiple times so that Sheldon knew she had food of her own in the apartment, he never failed to pay for her lunch. Even the couple of times she arrived midway through his lunch, he would wave her over to hand her his card before she went to get her food. Penny thought about buying her own meal on those instances, but figured he would probably know if she hadn't used his card.

Over time, Leonard, Howard and Raj had stopped leaving as soon as Penny and Sheldon arrived, and instead resorted to scowling in their direction, while talking in low voices amongst themselves. Penny usually just ignored them, except for the couple times she had to leave for work before they did, when she would walk past their table on her way out and give them a bright and cheerful "hello". They did usually leave midway through Sheldon's lunch, but when she asked Sheldon about it on days she wasn't there, she got the impression that they had simply shifted their lunch break to avoid seeing Sheldon more than they had to.

During this time, Penny had also noticed that Sheldon's daily description of his day (she always asked) had gotten more passionate as the weeks went by. She thought some of it might simply be him opening up more to her, but she also noticed that his whiteboard collection was growing, and he seemed genuinely happier when she asked him.

He had also become more accepting of her hugs, which had been getting more frequent as his excitement about his work increased. She understood nothing about what he was saying, but she could tell he was really excited about it. It reminded her of the first time she had visited their apartment three years ago, and he had shown her his board.

During their daily lunches, she had overheard Team Leonard talking a few times, and it had confirmed her suspicions that Sheldon's work had taken off since she became his roommate. If Leonard thought Sheldon would completely stop functioning without him being around, he had another thought coming.

While on the whole Penny was really excited about how things were turning out since she'd agreed to be Sheldon's roommate (oh, sure, they'd had their arguments, she wasn't about to knuckle-under and he was as stubborn as ever, but their arguments tended to dissipate quickly when it came time to team up for Halo or Age of Conan), there was one small thing that kept niggling her. One really small, huge problem. She tried ignoring it as she had been for years, but now that they were in close proximity, it was getting harder to ignore, and if anything, was growing. Penny liked the Whack-a-Doodle. Just a tad bit more than she was comfortable with.

The very first time she met him she had thought he was cute. Even when he had opened his mouth, something she'd come to realize scared away most people, she had remained fascinated with him. His quirks intrigued her rather than repulsed her, and his blunt honesty was refreshing as often as not, so long as you didn't take it personally. But he hadn't shown any overt signs of being interested in her, while his homunculus roommate had. She had believed Leonard and Howard's claims that Sheldon's asexual and would never be interested in a romantic relationship, so she had eventually acquiesced to dating Leonard.

But she now realized that she hadn't ever really taken the time to think that perhaps it wasn't that Sheldon was opposed to romance, or even sex, he just wasn't interested in chasing every pretty girl he saw, and he wasn't trying to sleep with every girl he could. She had just believed what the guys had said, without questioning it. But after living with him for several weeks, she wasn't so sure anymore that the guys were right. Sure, he didn't chase after girls and sex like they were going out of style, and he had frequently berated Leonard and Howard for trying to sleep with girls, but he had never done or said anything to imply that he was opposed to real relationships; he just wasn't actively pursuing one.

And now that she was his roommate, all those reasons she had liked him when she first met him, and had tried to keep hidden over the years, came flooding back to her. So Monday evening on the fourth week of roommating, Penny decided to do the unthinkable. She decided to ask Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D (x2), out on a date.

They were midway through supper (Thai), and Sheldon had finished his daily review of work. He had been super excited, and she had heard the words "breakthrough" and "Nobel Prize" several times. After a few minutes of comfortable silence (Penny hadn't worked that day, and Sheldon hadn't quite yet learned that even if she didn't work he was still supposed to ask her how her day went), Penny decided to go for it. Given the fact he was always blunt and straightforward, and responded best when others did the same, she had decided to just come straight out with it, no beating around the bush, no room for questions or misunderstandings. She turned to look at him, and he quickly looked up at her, sensing she had something to say.

"Sheldon, will you go out on a date with me this Thursday evening, at 18:30, to Ristorante Approvato Italian restaurant? It's not your normal Thursday pasta restaurant, but it is Anything-can-happen-Thursday, it is on your approved restaurants list, and it will allow you to still have Thursday pasta if you want to."

He looked at her carefully for a few seconds before asking, "Is this a dinner between friends to celebrate my achievements?"

"No."

"Then why?" Why would you want to go out on a date with me?" he clarified.

Since he hadn't outright refused her yet, she decided to continue with the straightforward answers.

"Because I like you, and I want to go out on a date with you, to see if it would be a reasonable possibility to change our friendship paradigm to a romantic relationship paradigm." Before he had the chance to say anything, she continued. "As for why you specifically, while I do not completely understand why I like you, I have always felt some level of attraction towards you since the first day I met you, I just kept it hidden away because I thought there was no way you could ever like me back. But after being roommates with you for three weeks, I have found that my attraction to you has continued to increase, and I want the opportunity to potentially pursue a romantic relationship with you."

She continued to look at him, expectantly (and wondered when the hell she had learned how to talk like him). He appraised her for a few moments, before replying slowly, "But you expect coitus from guys you date."

Gently laying her hand on top of his, she replied, "Not from you, Sweetie. So will you go out with me?"

After appraising her for a few more seconds, he said, "I suppose. I do find that I enjoy your presence, and I find myself strangely compelled to seek out your presence despite our great differences, and you were the only one to stick by me after I showed interest in remaining friends with you after your breakup with Leonard."

He turned back to his food, and resumed eating. While not exactly a confession of feelings, Penny took it to be a yes on the date, and also a signal that the conversation on such matters was over.

Three weeks later, Leonard was beginning to feel that his plan to bring Sheldon's world crashing down around him wasn't quite going to plan. Not only did Sheldon seem to be doing just fine on his own, if anything his work seemed to be improving, and he had heard that Sheldon was expected to get a huge increase in funding over the next few months. Also, Penny didn't seem quite as despondent over their breakup as he had hoped, and Howard and Raj were starting to get fed up with him crashing at their apartments.

So he decided to graciously give both Sheldon and Penny the opportunity to rejoin Team Leonard. Sheldon, his position as roommate, and Penny, initially her position as friend until she came to her senses and agreed to resume their romantic relationship.

At 19:00 on Halo night, Leonard knocked on the door to 4A. When Sheldon opened the door and Leonard had walked inside, he began; "Sheldon, I have an offer for you. I will move back in and we'll reinstate the roommate agreement, thus restoring order to your life, and I will let you continue to be friends with Penny. What do you say?"

At that moment, Penny walked into the living room from the hallway, with nothing but a towel wrapped around her.

"Sheldon, can I borrow your—"

At that moment, Penny and Leonard saw each other.

"Oh, hi Leonard! Come over for Halo night?"

"I, uh…" stuttered Leonard.

"Leonard, even if I was inclined to consider your offer to become my roommate again, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to. I highly doubt my girlfriend (here he leaned over and gave Penny a quick kiss on the lips) would be willing to give up her room, and I'm certainly not letting her sleep in my room. But you could try the apartment across the hall. Last time I checked, no one had moved in there yet."

A/N: I'm not creative with names, and I didn't want to just steal the name of a local Italian restaurant, so I just translated "Approved restaurant" into Italian, and made that the name of the Italian restaurant they went on a date to.