Who Inspires Me

Anime/Manga used: Daiya no Ace

Warnings: swearing, Eijun POV, he's in a fantasy world, angst, pining and hopeful ending. You HAVE been warned!

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING, everything belongs to its original owners!

Note: This is a sequel from What Motivates Me, so please read that before reading this one

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave." -Jareth, Labyrinth (1986)

Nothing made sense anymore really, everything seemed stranger and stranger these days. Or, at least, that's how it feels to Eijun. Talking to Furuya and Harucchi felt the same as always, except not. Okay, that didn't make much sense. But, it's only way he could wrap his head around this weird feeling he has about the life he's living. Hmm…how could something be perfectly normal and still have something missing? There's nothing going on at Seido that should make Eijun question anything. He's still scared of Onii-San, runs away to avoid Kuramochi-Senpai's wrestling move of the day, gets scolded by his teacher for sleeping in class and follows Chris-Senpai like a puppy dog. Never changing, always predictable and ordinary. Was his life always like this? This is something he could have had back home in Nagano, if he was honest with himself. It feels like something is missing, as if his life is one huge incomplete puzzle. It doesn't make any sense. Why is he unsatisfied with his normal high school life? Isn't it a good thing to have such a predictable lifestyle? He shouldn't complain about it. Everything is so perfect and peaceful. Eijun should be happy, content with how things are going. Except he's not. Is this what he left home for? To live out a mundane, unchanging lifestyle in Tokyo? What a waste. He doesn't remember the reason why he even came to Seido for. Then, it hits him like a thousand ton freight train, just like that. A small conversation he had with his grandfather about his indecisiveness about leaving his hometown.

"Oh Gramps, there you are! I was looking for you!" A fresh eyed, middle school Eijun said when he approached the elder man.

"Eijun! What do you need?" His gramps gives him a look that can only mean one thing, a lecture and possibly a smack on his head.

He sits down next to his grandfather while admiring the beautiful endless night sky, "I….Tokyo was nice, there was a lot of people and lots of stuff to do. Seido is super huge too, they have a ton of clubs."

Grandpa Sawamura nods, "I see my boy…you went to a place that you weren't expecting."

"I'm not going"

"Takashima-San seemed determined to have you go."

"I-I know….but…."

"You're not sure if it's the right choice." His gramps always seemed to have this weird ability to read what's on his mind whenever he has a hard time putting the words together.

Eijun sighs, "I mean….it's nice, but I like it here. What's wrong with wanting to stay?"

Grandpa Sawamura pats him on the shoulder, "Nothing. But…I can see it in your eyes, there's a fire in them that I haven't seen in a long time. Those eyes remind me of your Nana."

Oh…Grandma Sawamura who passed away when he was too little to remember her, "Really?"

"Of course, I miss that crazy old bat!" His gramps teased even though it sounded a bit pained, everyone still misses his fiery grandmother even though it's been almost thirteen years since she died.

"Gramps! Anyways…I don't know, do you think I should go? What if I regret my choice? What if I'm making a huge mistake? I-I have no idea if going to Tokyo is a great idea. I just…want to be sure that I am making the best decision here….I can't exactly say I'll go light heartedly…" Eijun rants off at about a million miles per hour until he slows down in a much softer tone, feeling completely lost and unsure at what to do in regards to his future high school life.

Good thing his gramps is fluent in his grandson's fast talk and ruffles his hair to comfort the boy in his time of desperate need, "Eijun….here's something that I'll tell you, I think it might help with making the decision easier on you. There is pain, suffering and loss in life…that's just how it is. If you find the strength and ambition to pull through all that then, there will happiness and love at the end. And that, is what makes life worth living. Go to Tokyo, see new things, make friends and experience life my boy. You need to see the world and all its wonders, don't hold yourself back! That's all I can say for you."

"Gramps…" it was like a huge weight was taken off his shoulders and everything made sense.

"Well?"

"I'm going to Seido, Gramps!"

"Hahah! I knew it! It'll be a long, hard road though."

"That's what makes it fun! It'd be boring if it was easy!" Eijun brightens up with vigor and determination.

"That's my Eijun! Now…tell me about WHO was the person you were complaining about on your way here? I think his name was Miyuki Kazuya?" Gramps cheekily smirks at him as he turns red at the mention the name that had running around in his head since meeting that bastard in Tokyo.

"GRAMPS!"

A deep, red blush spread on his cheeks against his will. Oh…..right. He nearly had forgotten the true reason why he decided to leave Nagano behind for Tokyo. A certain smirking tanuki senpai of his that always pisses him off with his vague responses and sarcastic remarks. Damn that Miyuki Kazuya! It was so stupid too, being wrapped around that guy's finger despite barely knowing him. Eijun hates to admit it, but he does like the bastard. Sure, Miyuki is really mean and always says crap that makes people wince at the harshness of his words. So what if the glasses wearing boy keeps people at a distance? So what if Miyuki acts cold or closed off? There are often times when that guy would make girls cry when they confess to him, what a charmer. On some instances, the tanuki can be manipulative or try to trick people into doing things for him. Sometimes, Eijun himself would fall for the trap. And, Miyuki is a total control freak. Like, he can't stop being so damn domineering for five seconds. Sometimes, Eijun lets him get away with it. They had a talk about his senpai's rather shitty personality and equally nasty attitude.

It's weird, hearing those type of things from the usually cool and confident Miyuki. He sounded so small, so very small. As if trying to hide his heart from the rest of the world to protect himself from getting hurt. Sawamura Eijun is not a complete idiot, despite what others say. He can tell there's some deep pain and hurt coming from Miyuki's past. He doesn't know what it is, but it's pretty clear to him that it probably not something the tanuki would be willing to share with him. The older asked why he seemed so desperate for his attention, he claimed it wasn't worth it, that Eijun is wasting his time and all kinds of crap following after that. What the glasses boy didn't realize was that he was actually trembling and there was this lost look in his eyes, as if calling out Help! Save me! It scared him, more like terrified him to see someone who's normally so composed to almost have a breakdown right in front of him. Miyuki put a quivering hand on top of his head and said to do something better with his life than chase him around. The bastard told him that he doesn't mind playing the bad guy, but wouldn't know what to do if Eijun hated him. Hate? Bad guy? What the hell is he talking about? As far as he knew, he was never tricked by any bullshit or assumed fantasies about the glasses bastard. He knew what he was getting into when he came to Seido. Yeah, the stupid tanuki has a really crappy personality and sucks as an upperclassman. Miyuki Kazuya may be a lot of things, but a bad guy is NOT what Eijun thinks of him.

"I don't know if you're stupid or bold Sawamura." Miyuki chuckles out with a resigned, yet fond expression shining behind his glasses.

Whoops, he didn't mean to say that stuff out loud, "W-Well…it's the truth, why would I lie?"

The tanuki gives him a very gentle smile, it may or may not have given him a heart attack, "That's what I like most about you Sawamura, your honesty…Damn…when you say things like that with that kind of face, I can't exactly ignore you."

Wow…..he didn't expect for him to ever have a normal conversation with Miyuki of all people. Usually, their interactions purely one-sided yelling or never ending teasing between them. That's how it was. Which is why he's standing in the middle of the baseball field, directly on the mound to be exact. Something had been telling his guts to come to this place. To place himself on the small hill of dirt that belongs to the pitcher. There's no practice today for the baseball team and not a lot of people come to the fields anyways, it's a perfect place to have a more in depth conversation with Miyuki. Yeah, it feels too weird to call his senpai by his first name. It's too intimate. Somehow, Eijun can tell that their relationship isn't exactly what meets the eye. Calling him by last name, even in his head, sounds a lot more natural. He thinks about this as he takes a deep breath while waiting for his so-called boyfriend to show up. Here, in the middle of the baseball field, he feels oddly calm and less anxious. Like he had always been here. Playing with his teammates, practicing until he can't anymore. Maybe getting scolded for doing something stupid. Or, being yelled at for overworking himself. He can almost see Harucchi holding a wooden bat, working on his swing. That bastard Furuya throwing insane, monstrous pitches. His roommate, Kuramochi-Senpai, running from base to base like a cheetah. Chris-Senpai teaching him techniques to help him with his form and to prevent injuries.

His golden brown eyes open up in shock. He remembers. This place is not real. Yes, it's the Seido he knows and goes to everyday. But, the mundane life he had been living was a lie. He didn't come here for some boring, daily school experience. No. Eijun was brought here to play baseball, to pitch amazingly on the mound. He came here because of a certain tanuki senpai inspired him to leave everything he had ever known to play on this field with his newfound friends. Miyuki Kazuya is not really his boyfriend. This was Eijun's way of deflecting his romantic feelings on his senpai in this fictional universe. It's pure fantasy. And, as much as it deeply pains him to realize that none of it is real, he has to stand strong and escape whatever the hell kind of world he's in. Well, it's all in his head. It shouldn't be that hard to get out. Right? Oh well, he'll figure a way out of it. His heart is pounding so fast and loud he could hear it echo in his ears. It races a little more at the familiar sight of his beloved senpai walking towards the mound. Okay, deep breath Eijun. He's not real. This is all his imagination. The person standing right in front of him is not the real Miyuki Kazuya he fell in love with. He has to get out of here. He needs to leave. Doing this will probably be the closest things he'll get to letting his feelings out before he leaves this crazy place. Time to face the music. Here goes nothing.

"Eijun, I got your message, what's up?" The fake Miyuki asked him with concern.

"You're not real. None of it is. This is some fantasy and I'm somehow stuck here. So, tell me…who are you really? And, don't say Miyuki Kazuya because you're not and we both know that." Mind as well cut to the chase and deal with this crap.

A dark laugh, "I see. So, you figured it out. I thought you would be too stupid to realize that this world wasn't real and that you're trapped in your own mind. Good job!"

Eijun glares at him, "Don't mock me. Now, who are you?"

"I'm your wildest dreams come true. You could say I'm a part of you. This form you see me in at this moment is your desire to be with your precious Miyuki Kazuya and this world is your memories that make you feel the most comfortable and safest in. Just call me by that senpai's name if that makes it easier for you." The whatever-it-is tells him in a slow, calm tone as if dropping all this stuff on him was the equivalent of talking about the weather.

"I see. So, why am I here?" He had to ask, he needs to know why in the world he's in this crazy place. In in his own head, no less.

The other sighs while gazing at him with eyes as cold and deep as a dark abyss, "The accident. You got hit by a car after arguing with Miyuki. You were planning on telling him that you liked him and it kind of backfired. You're in a coma right now and there's a chance you might not pitch again. See what I mean? Your love for him brought you here. You'e suffering because you fell for Miyuki Kazuya! Eijun! Why do you love him? You're safer and happier here, with me! I can love you better than he can!"

Okay, he wasn't expecting all that. He has to be really careful with his answer if he wants to go back to the real world and out of his head. He decides to rely on what his grandfather told him before he decided to come to Tokyo.

Eijun replies, "You're right. You can love be better than he can. I am happier and safer here. But, that's not the point. The real world has pain and suffering and it'll hurt me in more ways than one. But, through it all there's also happiness and love that come out it. That's what makes life worth living. You can't protect me forever. Yes, I'll be hurt if he rejects me, but that's how life works. I'll be okay."

"You didn't answer me when I asked you on why you love him."

"Miyuki Kazuya is cruel and selfish, he's too dominant and stubborn for my liking. To be honest, I didn't even like the tanuki bastard when we first met. He's cold and keeps his distance, I barely know a personal thing about him. And, he drives me insane with his sneakiness and sass. So, yeah, it makes no sense on why I would fall in love with him of all people. I wouldn't be going through all this bullshit if I fell for Chris-Senpai or Harucchi, hell, even Kuramochi-Senpai would be better than Miyuki Kazuya!"

"For someone who complains so much about Miyuki, I can tell that you really love him Eijun." The other Miyuki decides to say, resigned as if he is starting to accept defeat.

He smiles, "Yeah, I do. Even though he's cold and cruel, he can actually be nice and not so bad. Even though he says he's bad guy, I know that deep down he's a good person. There are moments where he takes what I say into thought and he relies on me as his battery partner. Even though he drives me crazy with his comments and teasing, I can't imagine my life without it. He's the reason why I came to Seido. He's the one I can see myself paying with, side by side. I want to follow him wherever he takes me. If you're still wondering why I'm in love with Miyuki Kazuya. Then, my answer is…he inspires me."

"Well…I see that you have your answer. Good luck with him Eijun."

"Thank you."

He wakes up. In a white room with faint beeping sounds and the scent of flowers wafts through his nose. Eijun opens his eyes with a groan and there's a ruckus. His team is there, at his bedside with looks of relief and happiness. Guess his accident impacted them more than he thought. One of them, it looked like Harucchi, went to get a nurse since he woke up. His doctor came in, shooed everyone out, and checked his vitals and asked him questions of what he remembered about his accident. To be fair, Eijun barely remembers getting hit. Bits and pieces here and there, but not much. The doctor writes down some more things and then, allows everyone back inside. The coach tells him to focus on recovering and that his family will be coming to see him in a couple of days. Oh boy, he's definitely not looking forward to that. He winces knowing that his grandpa will smack him in the head for making them worry. He takes in all the small vases of flowers that surround his bedside. The bouquets must be from his friends back home from Nagano and maybe some from his Seido classmates. There's a couple that are from his teammates too. They can play dumb all they want, but he know that they were worried when he got into his accident. The doctor told him that he was lucky that his vital organs and bones stayed intact since the hit wasn't that hard. He somehow hurt his left arm in the accident and that he has to be really careful with it, and to expect to be spending time in rehab to get his arm back in shape.

Eijun sighs in relief knowing that his pitching arm won't be completely useless and that his career in baseball isn't over yet. He really is lucky. Only getting out of a car crash with some scratches and bruises along with a huge headache, maybe some pain in his whole body and a slightly injured left arm with a minor coma that lasted a little over a week. He moans in frustration thinking about the amount of homework he has to catch up on for the next few days while he recovers. The good thing is that he won't be in the hospital too long since he didn't get heavily injured or anything. That, and his doctor told him that he'll be staying a few more days and his recovery will go well if he takes his time with rehab afterwards. He chats with the team as they catch him up on everything that happened while he was out cold and they soon left with promises to visit him until he gets discharged. The only one that lingers behind is Miyuki. Oh joy. The one thing that Eijun really wants to avoid, but also kind of needs at the moment. There's so many things he wants to say. All he knows is that he wants his feelings out there. Rejected or not, he feels that it's important that Miyuki is aware of the feelings he has for him.

"Damn, you're lucky Bakamura. Too damn lucky." His senpai says with a slightly trembling voice and unreadable eyes.

"Yeah, that's me. I'm one lucky guy." He knows that making a joke is not exactly the greatest way to ease the tension in the air, but he had to try something...anything to lighten the mood.

Miyuki sits on a chair next to him, "I would've kicked your sorry ass if you couldn't pitch anymore. I was really worried when you got hit and you had no idea what was going through my head when they took you away on the ambulance. I didn't want your dumb ass to die or be hurt, because I would hate you for breaking your promise on taking on the world with me with our battery."

He sighs out happily at those words, "Miyuki-Senapi…..it wasn't your fault, it was mine for not looking at where I was going. Don't blame yourself, accidents happen." It's now or never, "Besides, the reason why I ran off on you like that was because my feelings were really hurt by what you said and I thought you didn't care about me at all."

"I know. I was an idiot, I didn't mean to make you feel that way and I-"

"Don't apologize, it's weird and doesn't suit you. I just wanted to say what I was planning on telling you before that fight happened. I want going to tell you that I like you Miyuki Kazuya and in a romantic way. You don't have to give me an answer right now or date me, I just wanted to let you know." That went rather well and it doesn't seem like his senpai is angry or grossed out by his confession, that's good.

"Sawamura….I don't know how I feel about you and I have a lot to think about before I can give you a reply. But, I swear that I'll answer you honestly." Miyuki tells him in an shaky and unsure tone.

Eijun finds himself to be perfectly okay with that answer, "Okay, I'll wait for long as you need to."

They share a smile and affection burns in Eijun's heart for this person that he loves. And, he knows he made the right choice in telling his senpai about his feelings.

There's no telling of what Miyuki's answer will be, but he can only hope for the best. After all, no matter what, he is the one who inspires him.

The End

Alex: Thanks for reading, bye!