AN: So this is written for my friend's headcanon that Fenris gets Hawke pregnant. However, she never knows due to the battle against the Arishok. Well, I modified it a bit... and you get this.
The minute the blade pierced through Hawke's stomach she knew. The others could sense it too. Fenris turned away, light sobs racking his body. Aveline gripped her sword tightly. Ander's stood, shocked. For they all sensed death. But the life lost by the blade was not Hawke's, but something far more precious. Something she didn't even know was there until that moment.
"Hawke?" Aveline asked gently, peeking her head into Hawke's room.
Karigan Hawke had practically been a ghost this week. She had been out once and even then had not called on any of her companions. It had worried Aveline, but she did know Hawke would sometimes need a break after a particularly difficult job, so she had put it out of her mind.
That was, of course, until she and Donnic had the patrol around Fenris's mansion. Aveline could hear bottles crashing against the wall and profanities she had not known being tossed about. She went in, to warn him that that sort of behavior would end with the discovery of his secret, but she hadn't gotten too far in when Fenris turned to her and proceeded to tell her about his big mistake. He told her in too much detail, much too much, about that night. Aveline did not need to know what her best friend sounded like when Fenris… well, you get the point. Angrily, she had shouted at him, and now she was here, checking to make sure Hawke was okay.
"Yes, Aveline. Did you need something?" A quiet voice answered. Karigan stood up from her chair by the fire and turned to her friend, and it was then Aveline realized how bad things were.
Hawke's hair was plastered to her face by the still fresh tears. Her eyes were bloodshot, clothes stained, face pale. She hadn't seen her like this since the loss of her mother a month back.
Aveline went to sit on the bed hoping Hawke would sit by her. "I want to let you know I am here. If you need to talk about this, I will listen."
"You know what happened then?"
Aveline nodded.
"I should have figured. Is Fenris out telling everyone he bedded the Champion?"
"No, and somehow I don't see him doing so. I was patrolling near his mansion and heard him causing a ruckus. I found him drunker than ever, and more miserable as well. Soon he told me everything." Trying to draw a smile to her friend's face, Aveline added. "As in everything. It was like the slu- Isabel reading one of her books out loud."
Hawke groaned, but smiled lightly. "I'm sorry you had to hear any of that. I'm glad we're friends, otherwise you'd know way too much on me." She shook her head. "He's going to be the death of me. I'm upset, yes, but I can't stay mad at him. I even find myself thinking that maybe we had moved to fast, that I should give him time. "
"Love is fickle.
Hawke sighed. "I know. Now, is there anything you'd like me to do? I guess sitting here moping won't do myself or anyone good."
"Now that's the Hawke I know. There's a squirmish at the coast, if you'd care to help settle that?"
"Give me an hour, and I'll meet you at the path."
The next two months flew by quickly. Hawke had gotten back to her normal routine, and she was pleasantly surprised to see Fenris wearing her favor around his wrist. Yet, both remained distant from each other, not wanting to create a scene between them. The space was respected by both.
Recently, Hawke had become sick after eating some bad seafood stew at the Hanged Man. She had gone to Anders, who, after examining her, had grown wide-eyed and cool. She asked what was wrong. And he simply told her it would pass. Had she been watching him closely she would have noticed the confusion on his face. Did he dare ask? She had also skipped her last two cycles, but that was common for her. If she had been under intense physical strain she would miss a month. So overall her concern was slim.
Now, she quickly wiped her daggers as she and Aveline went to find Fenris and Anders. When the negotiation for the fugitives had gone sour, a fight between the Qunari and the city had broken out. She knew she would need Anders for healing and Fenris for his battle skills.
Both men followed her eagerly, and she and Aveline raced to the keep. They took out any Qunari who got in their way, and were saved by Knight Commander Meredith after a particularly nasty attack. They then in turn ended up saving Oriso? And heading to the Keep. There, they decided it best if Orsino caused a distraction to let them sneak inside, hoping it would give them enough time to save the Viscount. However, they reached the room in time to see his head be thrown at the nobles and wealthy captured. Hawke grew sick to her stomach. How horrendous of the Arishok to go for the man whose son had supported the Qunari from day one. Her wooziness was noticed by both Fenris and Anders, and each reached to help steady her.
Hawke shook them off, needing to appear strong. She turned to the Arishok, who greeted her cooly. "What gain did you get from this? Why can't we work this out?"
"It is too late for that." The Arishok motioned for his guards to attack.
Qunari charged from both sides. Hawke swung her dagger and slashed the throat of the nearest one. As usual, Fenris was next to her perfectly coordinated. His sword hit the next two approaching, and Aveline finished one off with a few quick blows. Anders healed everyone quickly as the last Qunari guard charged, angered by the loss of his brethren. Hawke nodded to Fenris, and soon she distracted the guard's wrath to allow Fenris to get a fatal blow to the back of the Qunari's chest. Aveline made sure he was finished by a stab in the heart.
"Well done, basalit-an. But this does not solve anything. What would you do about this?"
"Isabela has the book. I can hunt her down and get it."
"And were you not part of her obtaining it?"
"Well, if you put it that way, it does sound a bit bad, doesn't it?"
"Arishokost. Maaras shokra. Anaan esaam Qun. You have granted this woman basalit-an. By this admission, she has the right to challenge you."
"Are you mad, Elf?" Anders hissed, though only Hawke could hear it.
"If you truly knew the Qun,elf, you would not suggest I battle a female."
"But she is no female." This line earned Fenris a glare from said woman, but he just shook his head lightly. "She is a respected outsider by your own words."
"And what say you, Hawke? Do you agree to a duel?"
"To the death, Arishok." Her words rang forcefully, and hung in the air causing silence.
"Meravas." He turned to Fenris. "You have five minutes to prepare. That is all. Make sure she is back here on time."
Hawke nodded curtly, and Fenris dipped his head.
Everyone was silent until they reached the room for her to prepare in.
"Are you trying to get her killed? I swear Elf, if she dies…" Anders gripped his staff tightly.
"Even I have to agree with Anders. Had we just fought them as a group…" Aveline trailed off, noticing how Hawke seemed focused on only one person.
"Fenris, do you really think me strong enough to do this?"
"Hush, ma sa'lath. You must prepare a strategy. I suggest weaving around between the two main pillars." The meaning of the Elvish word was unknown to any but himself. Still, Fenris felt the need to say it.
Hawke nodded. "I should be able to get in a few quick stabs then."
"Hawke," Fenris called as she started out the room. Aveline and Anders continued walking, yet she paused.
"Yes?"
"Be safe. I know you are capable to taking care of-"
Hawke kissed him lightly. "This is no time for unnecessary words."
Fenris nodded, and quickly followed Hawke, shocked by her action.
She was panting, and glancing over at Fenris, she saw his anger at himself. She could tell he regretted this, as he was facing away from her, nervously fidgeting with the favor on his wrist. However, her slight distraction here and allowed the Arishok to rush into her, knocking her down. Careful Hawke, she told herself.
Rushing at him, she stuck a dagger into his shoulder, missing his chest as he moved out of the way. Then, pain. Overwhelming pain. She was lifted into the air by his blade, pierced through the stomach. And then she felt it. If she had known, if she had thought for a moment, she would not have risked this. She felt the death, could sense it after experiencing so much around her. And only one thing was possible. A baby. She had been carrying a child. She would have been a mother. And now, there was no chance.
The Arishok killed her and Fenris's child. She saw red. The Arishok would pay!
He flung her from his blade, and she popped up right away, catching him off guard. Her daggers went into his skull, and he fell.
"One day, we shall return," he stated as he died.
The crowds around her cheered her on, yet she heard nothing. She felt Anders healing magic at work, yet nothing. Wait, Anders would have known. He knew!
"Ah seems we missed the fight," She heard Meredith say cooly.
"Seems like it," Hawke snapped, glaring past Meredith at Anders.
Meredith narrowed her eyes. "And it would appear we have a new Champion."
After Hawke and her companions finally made it back to the Hawke estate, Karigan turned to Anders.
"You!" She hissed. "Why didn't you tell me!"
"What do you mean?"
"Do not play dumb with me!"
"Fine," Anders spat. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want to see you with another man's child. Especially not that Elf!"
"What?" Fenris swung around, as did Aveline, her face a mix of confusion and growing anger.
"I was pregnant. And he let me fight!" She pointed to Anders. Then her face grew pale. Her lip trembled, eyes turned watery. She fell to her knees. "I was pregnant." It came out more than a whisper.
Aveline instantly rushed to her side, comforting her. Meanwhile, Fenris had started to glow from his lyrium markings. "Get out, Abomination."
"Look I-"
"Now!" Fenris lunged at him, murder on his face. Anders ran quickly.
The elf paced, trying to calm himself so he didn't do anything he would regret. What he wouldn't give for a bottle of wine.
Whimpering noises brought him back to reality. His face softened as he turned toward Hawke, who was finding comfort in Aveline's arms.
He walked up to them slowly, and Aveline gently moved Hawke to Fenris's open arms. She then left, mouthing that Fenris had best not leave her again. And leave her he would not, he swore to himself.
"We would have been parents." Her voice came quietly.
"I know. I mourn the loss with you," His voice was hitched lightly, holding back his own sadness for the loss of child he just discovered.
Her eyes gazed at him. "I know you need time, Fenris, but I need you here. Even as a friend, I need you."
Taking a page from Hawke he kissed her lightly. "I am yours."
Hawke then allowed her sobs to overcome her body. She and Fenris spent the night holding each other in a mournful embrace.