The Snow That Covered Everything
Rated:K
"The world is beautiful. Even if you're full of tears and sadness, open your eyes. "-Clannad
I hate everything. This town, this place, it's memories…memories I wish to forget. I was born in Tokyo, Japan. I lived here. Grew up here. Met people. Loved people. But, this town, it took it all away.
In The Spring
I had a life where everything was alright. Yes, I worked full-time and the pay wasn't the best, but I always came home happy. Because of my wife. She would turn and smile at me and I could feel my spirit awakening. There was no other that could ignite anything as deep as my feelings for her.
She said anpan just to gather enough courage to walk to school. She always put everyone above herself, and would constantly strive for the things she wanted in life. I remember when I first started my third year in high school. I saw her, standing on a hill. And, she said
"Do you like this school? I like this school very, very much. But everything keep changing. All the fun and happy things are changing. But even so, are you still able to like this place?"
I thought to myself," A girl I don't know…She isn't talking to me…She's probably talking to someone in her heart."
But, no. Nagisa was telling me something. Something I couldn't yet understand, but would as time went on.
She had bright golden-brown eyes that reflected the sun's rays. She had strawberry brown hair that fell just at her shoulders.
Her parents were strange. No, her parents were loving. They…well, they were better than my own. I remember when Nagisa figured out that I was having issues with my father and asked if I would like to move in. So, I came home one day, took my stuff, and left.
I said,"See you later," to him. But, I didn't mean it. I didn't ever want to come back. But, that's another reason why I hate this town.
I cautiously opened the door and came inside. Her father Akio, scared me by 'accident'. I told him that I was staying for awhile. He replied as if his daughter never brought that up, and of course she didn't, which is why she stood there smiling with her mother.
Sanae…I would've loved to have called her my own mother. But, a car accident was the reason I had to live without.
Her parents graciously allowed me to stay with them for a long period of time, for free. They were dramatic.
Once, Akio offered me some bread, and so I took it graciously and bit into it. It was as hard as a rock. I spit it out and questioned whether he was trying to poison me or not. Next thing I know Sanae's running out the door crying with her husband following. It happened more than frequently.
They were kind-hearted people.
Sanae taught children. She used my room for the students, but I never minded. She cared about children's education and how they grew up.
Akio played baseball with some of the neighborhood kids. He taught them how to swing and pitch. But, he used to be an actor, atleast before she got sick…
Nagisa always was a sickly child.
When she found out, it put off her whole performance. She froze up on stage and started to cry.
But, then I remember what Akio said that day,
"A child's dream is a parent's dream. You can just go and take a hold of it. We dreamed of you realizing your dream. We didn't give up on our dream. Our dreams became your dreams! That's what parents are. That's what family is."
I understood what he meant, I just wished that I had my wife's intelligence to follow it as well.
Then, when Nagisa did get sick, I worried about her all the time. I couldn't focus in school. All I wanted was her.
When I moved out of her parent's place, Nagisa visited all the time. It made that apartment like home. She had to redo high school again, but that was okay because..I loved her. And, it wasn't her fault. It seemed like this town just didn't love her like I did.
I always asked her about how school went and she replied that she was fine, but I knew something was off. She never could be a good liar because she was good at being honest.
My father, I cursed him, but that's another reason why I hate this town.
I had a huge opportunity to move up in my career, but my father…was sent to jail and my employers heard about it. My hopes were canceled. I asked Nagisa to leave this town with me, but she said no. She told me to face my problems.
I was so angry with my father that I punched a wall and punctured skin. I was angry. He was a man I didn't even consider my father, but yet I was still being punished by him. Nagisa held me until I calmed down. Just her expression made me come back. I asked her to marry me.
Yes.
That one word changed my life forever. That one word made my life complete. I loved her and she loved me. We both were finally getting the happy ever after we deserved. But, this is the afterstory…
In The Fall…
Nagisa and I were married, finally..
We both walked along the path created by our love, not knowing the dangers ahead but anticipating. Always anticipating..
She asked me for dangos from the store, usually once a week. And, she had the oddest cravings…jelly-covered steak, cheese covered-ice cream, and she always chewed on her chopsticks. It was very concerning.
I still remember when we took a long walk along the beach, picking out names or attempting to..
I thought of names like Tomoyo..
Nevermind, I really don't want our child to be like her. Gray hair even though she's in high school, nagging, or nosey as hell.
Tomoyi..
It was perfect. It sounded like it would fit.
I told Nagisa the name and she tried to explain to me that I was continually changing the last letter of my name.
So, I tried again.
Tomoye
Now, that had a ring. It sounded very princely, very aristocratic.
Then, Nagisa sighed and asked me if I would like to name our baby, Tomoya.
There can't be two Tomoyas. I don't understand her train of thought in copying my name.
Ushio
Was a name that settled our thoughts immediately.
Her stomach began to grow as fall began to fade.
I was anticipating his or her arrival. I would be a father. I would give it everything I never had, especially a father it could love.
I never remembered my mother's death. I was too young. So, I never really knew her. But, that was part of the reason I resented my father..
I ran my fingers through her hair as she read a book to the special gift wrapped in the safety of her womb.
The girl was in a land where nothing ever grows. Nothing ever comes, or goes. Nothing ever exists or ceases to. Nothing ever lives or dies.
This is a world where the wishes, hopes, and dreams of people continue to strive to get to another world to save everyone's endings.
They cannot go, for the world itself is trapped within. It is trapped until it's companion realizing his mistake because by him realizing his mistake he will be guided back to the world from which he came. And, the other world will cease to exist.
A girl and her robot travel over the plains of this world. They have traveled forever. They have just began to travel that world. They gather pieces of scraps of things and put them together in hopes of building something that could take them away from there.
They can't ever escape until the robot learns about his mistake. Until he learns about his past.
The girl and him continue to travel but as they continue the season grows cold
The planet grows cold
And, one day, it will die out
And, when that time comes…
No, the robot will continue to try.
They continue to try, but the snow is falling…
The snow is pilling, but the robot knows
That the girl will die when winter comes
Nagisa paused her storytelling and began to moan.
I had already quickly snatched the phone and called over her parents as well as her birthing mother.
I held her hand, in anticipation
Anticipation of becoming a father, of making a difference in someone else's life, in beginning a new chapter..
In The Winter
But, of all the possibilities…how I could never expect
To raise Ushio on my own.
I was…she looked too much like..I gave up.
I sent Ushio to live with her grandparents. I couldn't do it.
All I thought about was Nagisa.
But, I shouldn't of.
Because without meeting her, if I never saw her on that hill…
We never would've had to say goodbye.
She probably would still be alive, today.
I had gotten a note that day to come give a package to Sanae. I came in and nobody was home, except Ushio.
They left a note asking me to babysit her over their time gone.
I had no choice.
I took her home. She disliked my rice, she broke her own toy on accident, and often fell on her face.
I should've abandoned her right there.
But, I took her on a train ride.
I saw my own grandmother. We talked a lot about me, about Ushio, and about my father.
When I came back to the flowerfield I left her in she was looking for the gift I bought her.
She began to cry because she lost the first gift I gave her.
I brought her home back to our home.
I would keep her forever and keep her as my daughter. The little piece of Nagisa and myself that would forever be mine.
But, Ushio got sick, with the same disease as Nagisa.
She constantly tried to do everything by herself, but found that one day she could not.
I tried to take her on another train ride. But, she couldn't walk…
She fell down.
Her last words were "I love you Daddy."
I could've sworn that was Nagisa's voice.
The magic of that winter had died that year along with the people that made it magical.
In The Present Time
I opened my eyes and saw my wife Nagisa smiling and Ushio in her arms.
I think I learned what people were trying to tell me.
"Even if this world is full of sadness, even if all you have is taken away, even if all you ever dreamed about is ripped away…This world is still beautiful. How, you ask?
"Because when one life begins, throughout that life they create strings with other lives. And, when that life ends, the string connecting them to other lives can do either two different things."
"Realize what that person's purpose in your life was…or die along beside them, killing that purpose."
"That string never breaks. That person never goes away because that person lives through you. "
Open your eyes, this is the story of how The Snow That Covered My Everything.