**I don't own twilight, but Edward Cullen owns me.**
Inconvenient Introductions Amongst Inappropriate Gyrating
"Alice, I swear to God if you come near me with that curling iron I will strangle you with the cord. I do not need my hair styled to go to the supermarket" This was a fight I had often with my little sister. Though, usually it was only during obviously social situations. Forks equivalent of the Piggly Wiggly however, not so much.
"Bella, all I have to say is 'Fresh Meat'." My spiky, almost-a-midget sized little sister said wiggling her eyebrows and brandishing her curling iron.
It seemed that ever since the secluded mansion on the outskirts of town was bought everyone had lost their minds. Forks being a small town devoid of much entertainment and fresh faces assured that everyone already knew that a young successful doctor had moved in with his two adopted children. Apparently, according to said gossip, they could all have been teleported from Stepford.
"Bella seriously all I've heard is how hunky and gentlemanly the son is. Gentlemanly when is the last time you heard that about anyone here in Forks?" She said clutching her make-up bag to her chest like it was a rosary as she gazed upwards with a dreamy expression on her face. It was really quite sickening.
"Ok that explains why you, emphasis on you, need to look fabulous, but can't you just leave me to my scrunchies and converse?"
"I swear if I see a scrunchie near you I will raid our room while you're sleeping and hold a mini colorful bonfire. No one wears scrunchies anymore. They went out mid nineties; you know when we were like two." She growled as she leapt up snatching the offending circle of fabric from my brown locks.
"Where do you even find those?" I heard come from the slightly nasally voice of my little sister behind me.
"The dollar store Jess. They have tons of cool stuff there. Look at these socks I got yesterday." I said as I pulled up my skinny jeans to show my new acquisition, rainbow striped toe socks. They were slightly mismatched; hence their sale at the dollar general, but I rocked them.
The look of disgust from my sisters' faces was just icing on the cake. Though, that wasn't why I shopped there. Our parents didn't make a lot of money. In fact Renee wasted a lot on whatever project she wanted to master at the time. And Charlie, well he was my hero. Most Police Chiefs did fairly well. But him, he took a pay cut so they could hire knew bodies when they took over jurisdiction of La Plush, a small reservation near Forks. Forks wasn't big but it was growing. There were some small developments built for people commuting to Port Angeles. Mainly wealthier homes built on larger plots of land for people wanting a more private 'country' life. This meant more area to patrol, with no more time to do so. Not to mention Charlie was convinced new privileged teens would bring more problems. I couldn't argue that.
Charlie didn't agree with the idea of charging the wealthy more simply for being wealthy. Equality in all things was his motto. He also couldn't stomach the idea of raising taxes for the people in town, he knew they couldn't afford it. So he took a pay cut, to hire new younger police officers. That's why I loved him. He raised three very different daughters and put up with Renee. The man was a saint.
Renee was flighty at best and had finally bred a clone in her last daughter, my sixteen year old flirtatious and silly sister Jessica. She was sweet but dim and terribly vain. Alice my seventeen year old sister, was also vain but not so forthcoming about it. She didn't think she was better than anybody or prettier; she just took a lot of pride and time in how she looked. I think she was deep down a little insecure, never realizing just how lovely her pale skin and Charlie's dark hair made her. She was vivacious and fun around people she liked and knew.
Then there was me. I was and even mix of Charlie and Renee. I had neither her light brown hair, like Jessica, or his dark. Mine was somewhere in between. I had his fair skin and her mud brown eyes. I was dreadfully plain but comfortable in my own skin. I didn't much like to be noticed so being the plain one of the Swan three suited me. It would have been hard to be noticed with my younger two sisters around if I wanted to. Jessica's personality demanded attention and Alice's looks commanded the rest.
An hour later I left the house sans scrunchie, in my own clothes but had relented to some very light make-up. Being the oldest had some perks. While Jessica's whining, and Alice's puppy dog eyes usually got them their way some things were a given. I was the senior, I was eighteen and if I was forced on one of their excursions it was going to be in my beast of a truck listening to my iPod. My sister's had chipped in with my parents to revamp my truck's stereo system as a birthday gift. I think I fell in love with my jalopy even more.
On the way to Fork's Foods, I was bombarded by Jessica's plans to land the new guys and Alice's squees of joy as she recounted the many rumors flying around town. I resisted the urge to lock them in the car when we pulled up. Or better yet, to lock myself and my iPod in. Alas, I did neither.
I was pulled by Alice's vice like grip on my arm near my nemesis Lauren Mallory and her cluster of whorish minions. Usually this would shock me, it being so unlike my sister to want to be anywhere near her and her entourage, but when I noticed her posting a rather large poster board to one of the front store windows I understood.
Jessica ran forward first and gave Lauren a half hug and air kiss that she barely tolerated.
The Mallory's had been one of the first families to move in with the new developments. They quickly made themselves the head of all social circles, small as they may be in Forks. Her mother was now the self-appointed head of the community funds counsel and Lauren the head of Forks High. They were both equally promiscuous, dense, dull, and bitchy. My heart strings tugged for Mr. Mallory. He was a small wisp of a man. A pale, pasty, computer nerd who made a killing in silicon valley and managed to keep some of it when the bottom fell out mid nineties.
Mrs. Mallory was a gold digger. No one tried to hide it.
As Alice and I walked up hand in hand Lauren's face fell into a scowl.
"Oh my God, Bella! Look they moved up the winter festival this year!" Alice nearly vibrated at a rate that could rival a jack hammer at the news.
"Yah, well my Mom, thought it would be nice to welcome our new doctor." Lauren said over her shoulder as she straightened out the poster that some poor slutastic freshman was trying to hang.
"I'm sure she did." I let slip.
I could see her shoulders tense, as she turned around in slow motion, clearly trying to intimidate me by acting like some villainous snob from a Lifetime movie of the week.
"Bella, do you have something to say?"
"Nothing that hasn't been said already Lauren." I replied smugly as I opened the door for my sisters. I wanted to get them inside before the whoredom spread. It was clearly infectious.
Alice went quickly inside, quieted by the confrontation but still mildly vibrating. Jessica however lingered. Lauren's eyebrow raised in smug victory at her delay.
"Jessica get inside before I pull you in by your hair and tell dad you were trying to hang out with her royal sluttiness."
They both sputtered at that but Jessica moved. Even if I had assured that she would sulk exactly ten paces behind me until we returned home with the much needed groceries.
Unfortunately, the run in with the Tramp Team ruined our jovial mood. Fortunately, we did not run into the Cullen boys.
My theory is they smelled the heightened pheromones, released or sprayed on by the local females and were in hiding.
When we pulled into the driveway Jessica bounded out of the cab with Alice in tow.
"That's alright guys! I'll get the groceries." I went around to the bed and grabbed the bags. A few years ago, Renee decided we should eat like the Europeans, buying 'fresh' at the very least produce, as often as possible. This meant a house with very little non-perishables, skinny women, irritable police chiefs, loose floor boards hiding cellophane wrapped Little Debbies and many trips to the store.
I carried the bags with our chicken and salad fixings for tonight.
"Bella, did you see if they had feta cheese for the salad?" Renee called from the kitchen the moment I entered.
"Ye-"
"Mommmm, you aren't listening to meeee." I wished my hands weren't full so I could raise them to my ears. I hated when Jessica whined. Yet as I entered the kitchen I could see my mother still found it endearing as she giggled while Jessica tugged on her arm like an adolescent.
"Ok, I'm sorry. I was distracted by the promise of Bella's yummy salad. Go ahead hunny."
"Well, like Alice was saying, they moved the party up so I need to get my dress sooner." Alice and Jess never looked more alike than when they were begging for shopping money. They sat side by side across from Renee at the kitchen table, hands clasped above their chests, heads tilted like puppies with accurately named matching puppy dog eyes on their faces.
"Fine we'll take a trip to Seattle on black Friday. You said the party is moved up to the Saturday after Thanksgiving next week?" They nodded their heads in unison like bobble heads on a dash board. "Then it's settled. I assume you'll be busy Bella?"
"You know it." I laughed out and was met with exasperated sighs. I hated to shop. More like just with them. I could tear up the Dollar Tree, Dollar General, Family Dollar and yard sales. Not that the three of them would be caught dead with me. "Now please get out of my kitchen if anyone wants to eat."
They grumbled but left. I heard them talk over their plans for Seattle. Carefully planning what clothes to buy and what accessories they may want to look for. I tuned it out as I did my own planning. Making a mental list of what I would need to buy over the next few days for Thanksgiving.
The next few days leading up to Thanksgiving, Black Friday shopping hell and the coming festival passed in an excited blur.
Rumors kept flying about the Cullens' and their seemingly perfect children. Perfect and gorgeous children. On every shopping trip Alice continued to keep an eye out for the elusive hunks. The other three women in the house planned for their day in Seattle. Alice and Jessica both tried to persuade me to let them dress me on party night. Charlie watched TV and I did what I do best, I read and cooked. Often I did them both at once.
The warmth and cheeriness of the holidays and the chill moving in outside always led me to want to re-read my favorite girly classics. Nothing warmed me like a stoic Mr. Darcy or a passionate Heathcliffe.
On Thanksgiving day Charlie earned himself a monumental migraine by letting it slip that he met the elusive Cullens when one of their many luxury vehicles became stuck in the mud. I felt bad for him during the inquisition that followed.
Though we did learn that the children were actually an adopted set of twins. It gave new insight into the distortion achieved during a game of operator.
It seemed our week off school for Thanksgiving and the days leading to the winter festival flew by. Before I knew it I was standing in the mirror dressing and regretting agreeing to let Alice do my hair. She flew around me in an odd eighties-winter-pixie-like get up that only Alice could pull off. Tugging, curling and spraying my hair until it fell over my drop waist red sweater in beautiful tendrils. She pulled it back on one side and added a large blooming poinsettia that matched my newish sweater perfectly.
I'm not afraid to admit I like the way I looked tonight. I'm not usually very girly and I'm definitely not frilly but standing in the mirror with my borderline trampy, always boisterous baby sister on one side and my rock star fae-like middle sister on the other, I sighed in content feeling like I belonged. For once.
Today I wasn't the ugly duckling of this swan family.
I actually buzzed with anticipation in the truck with Alice in the middle clutching my arm. She of course was excited by the prospect of finally meeting the Cullen twin hotties. She was convinced she had a 'feeling' about them. That this would somehow be a huge wonderful changing point for us.
We pulled up to Fork in the Road, the small diner in the center of town that always closed down and decorated for these events. They had a large parking lot in front and a larger field in back scattered with picnic benches that they covered with checkered table cloths and hung with festive lights matching whatever seasonal party that was being held. During the innumerable cold and rainy days they decorated the inside in lights, crepe paper, and the like. My favorite though was the music. At the far end of the diner, along the large windows, sitting atop the black and white tiles on one side was an old fashioned style juke box outfitted with music great for the themed parties. Except during the Christmas party when Mrs. Newton treated us to her musical stylings on the stand up piano that flanked the juke box on the opposite side at the end of the diner.
When we entered I tried not to feel a swell in my chest to the Rockwellian scene played out at the other end of the diner. Many of our neighbors, people I had grown up with, doing this exact thing every year since my infancy, were crowded around Mrs. Newton. They raised their voices and sang 'Let it Snow', some well, many not.
My Mother, having arrived early in the cruiser with Charlie, leading the bad singer brigade, stood dead center singing at the top of her lungs with a large smile on her face. It was moments like this when you could see why even though they were immensely different, Charlie could love Renee with a surprising intensity and loyalty. She may have been flighty, and silly but she loved life with a vigor that was only matched by Alice. It was magnetic.
The party was so light and fun that I would have completely forgot about the main entrées if it hadn't been for the constant whisperings by the vapid vampy tramps that circled the diner like sharks.
It was quite comical when they finally entered.
Like in a movie nearly everyone stopped moving, that included the fingers of Mrs. Newton. I felt bad for the group as the music cut and Lauren and her minions who seem to have recruited Jessica literally raised their heads from the formica table to the scent of their prey. I found myself watching them like watching lions on the Serengeti preparing to stalk.
Alice broke my concentration as she slid in the booth beside me. "Bella, I'm confused." She whispered.
"Wha?" I mumbled, mouth full of a monstrous bite of Mrs. Jenkin's Fork's wide Famous Chocolate chip pie.
She leaned in conspiratorially "look. The guys are definitely edible; especially the blond, but they look nothing alike."
I turned my head, barely hiding my intention of scoping them out, looked over the impeccably dressed nervously squirming blond haired blued eyed six foot piece of man cake. Then I made the mistake of looking to his left where I saw a man so stunning my voice caught when I tried to speak to Alice and confirm her statement. He stood there in an outfit too perfect for anyone who didn't have a stylist on their personal payroll. And to top it off he wore a wool peacoat with the collar turned up. Seriously? Who was he? Elvis fixation much?
I was simultaneously turned on and repulsed. Most of all I was flushed.
If I were completely honest with myself I was slightly prejudiced to the wealthy. Not because I was envious of what they had; I was very content with what I had and aspired to have the nothing more than the important small joys in life, but because I was forced to be subjected to the entitled primped and preened offspring of the mildly wealthy at Forks High.
For some reason, maybe because I wasn't as immune to male beauty as I always thought myself, but I hoped he was different from the peacock in a peacoat he seemed to be.
Alice's barely audible "oh" brought me out of my reverie and my eyes from my lap back to the door. Behind the 'boys', four people had entered. Two unreal 'girls' now flanked them. Both stunning and blond but one was clearly the man cake's sister. They were so alike they should have both been androgynous. To the detriment of all of the lesser beings here they were the epitome of male and female beauty. Behind the four Teen Vogue models stood a stunningly beautiful couple who looked lovingly in each others' eyes. She was a coppered haired spokeswoman for Banana Republic and he a man that could elicit all kinds of embarrassing thoughts from the much-too-young-for-him me. With his blond hair, blue eyes and movie star looks, he actually looked as though he could be the biological parents of the Barbie and Skip Cullen twins.
It wasn't long after they stepped in that the hyenas descended.
Alice fluttered closer pretended to gather some sweets from the buffet set out on the counter, but I knew her and her ways. She was listening, gathering information for her arsenal. It was clear that her attention was really with the blond haired boy and not Sue Clearwater's candy cane bark. I watched their mating dance with rapt attention and a smirk on my lips. He answered the questions of the preening sluts in front of him but his eyes hardly left her tutu toting form.
I scanned their group looking to see if there was any sign he was with the other blond he walked in with. Two guys two girls, I figured the strawberry blond could be his girl and maybe the bronzed haired Elvis could be his sisters' beau. I was both happy for my sister and slightly disappointed when between two scantily clad skanks I saw the lesser blond clutching Elvis's arm. As I looked up at their faces I saw that they held matching scowls. She at the girls vying for her guy's attention, him at my sister. Perplexed I involuntarily leaned forward and unabashedly stared. His eyes were flickering from his friend's face to Alice's. He too, was watching their flirting and he was troubled by it.
That quickly pissed me off.
I shimmied out of the booth and made my way to her side . Afraid she'd look over and notice his friend's hateful glares. I'll be damned if someone would make her feel bad while I was there.
I took my place at her side grabbed a plate, pretended to be interested in the fruit salad and sent a withering stare over my shoulder. I tried not to be sucked in by his penetrating dark eyes when are eyes met. Tried and failed. Our eye lock was broken right as he narrowed his gaze perplexed and I raised an eyebrow in challenge, by his girlfriend jerking his arm in an attempt to focus his attention back on her. She led him passed and sent me a glare as they made their way to the back of the diner where their parental units had settled themselves.
It wasn't long before Lauren and her skankabulous scantily clad friends took advantage of Mrs. Newton's much deserved break and took over the small area reserved for music. Usually towards the end of our celebrations a few tipsy older couples stumbled around in each other's arms to the amusement of all, and some younger couples swayed in small circles watched by their handholding, smiling, elders.
Tonight however, Lauren put wildly inappropriate music on and used the opportunity to grind on my little freakin' sister trying desperately to get the attention of the new males.
She succeeded, though it was most definitely not good attention. All six of our new neighbors had horrified looks on their faces.
The spectacle gave Alice a chance to whisper under the music all the tidbits she had overheard.
"So, apparently, the two platinum blonds are Jasper and Roselie, the adopted twins." She then leaned forward making sure the surreal sextuplet at the next booth couldn't hear. "The other two are their best friends Edward and Tanya. I guess they're here for T-day." She then leaned back with a smug look on her face waiting for my response.
Before I could answer the music was abruptly cut as my friend Angela tried to get out of her booth and make it over my way. It was clear her foot had caught the extension cord that plugged in the juke box, as she stumbled and her face flushed when all eyes, including Lauren's laser-like glare faced her.
The quick halting of the music made the tail end of the conversation going on in the next booth audible to everyone in the immediate vicinity.
"…Well I think I'm gonna ask the little one." His eyes had kept glancing at the back of Alice's head since he sat down opposite me so it was clear he meant her.
"That's fine but I shouldn't be subjected to that…" Edward cut off in an amazingly smooth but irritated voice as the music stopped.
His back was to me but there was no doubt he was speaking of me when Tanya turned and said, looking straight into my eyes "Yes, don't do that to Edward, besides he only likes blonds."
Alice's hand reached across the table and she gently took mine as she gave me a tender look. My face flushed and my heart clenched in an unfamiliar way. I had never been rejected, of course I never tried.
I slid my hands under the table, clenched them, steeled my resolve and let the verbal diarrhea flow. "Well we can all pretend we didn't hear that, or we can just acknowledge the fact that these two have been eye-fucking each other all night and just let them enjoy each other. Jasper is it?" He nodded, while all the others, including a flushed Edward, stare at me in mixture of amazement and amusement.
"Well Jasper thank you for thinking of me but I wouldn't have you put your reluctant wingman through any torture on my behalf. I wouldn't dream of dancing with Narcissus no matter how like Adonis he may think himself I still run the risk of having a limp little flower on my hands. Alice I'm gonna go chill at home and spend some time with Heath."
I quickly vacated the booth and practically ran to the truck. Leaving my sisters to find their own way home so I could stop my shaking hands alone. My heart thrummed in my forced show of bravado.
I sat in the cab in front of my house unaware of how I got there, still, embarrassed and knocked off the pedestal I was foolish to try and climb up tonight.
**Reviews Rock! Throw one at me!**