The 5 Times Kenny Died, And The 1 Time He Didn't

by Wishmaster Kami

Kyle doesn't know how to deal with these things he's feeling, and Kenny just keeps on dying. T for language. K2 with mentions of Creek and Stendy

So, this is my first South Park fic, and the first fic I've written in a long, long time. I also fail at endings so I apologize for that.
Main Pairing: Kyle/Kenny
Mentioned: Craig/Tweek, Stan/Wendy

Disclaimer on Profile

--EDIT--
I had to go through an revise parts of it cause I'm an idiot and forgot to proof read it ^^;

---

The Five Times Kenny Died And The One Time He Didn't

i.

It was just another day at South Park Elementary. The school bell had rung, signifying the end of one very long day.

First off Cartman's desk broke when he sat in it. Naturally the whole class had burst into a fit of laughter with Stan's accompanying 'way to go fatass'.

Kenny had been laughing so hard he nearly choked on his breath and was coughing for like 10 minutes. We thought he was gunna die, but he didn't.

Naturally Cartman blamed me for the incident and when Mr. Garrison made him sit on the floor all day, all I got was minor threats and 'Jewboy' snarled at me in hushed tones.

Then, as a follow up to that fun little adventure, Damien showed up to class again. Only this time he was accompanied by what I could only assume were hell hounds or something equally scary. He plopped himself down next to Pip like this was the most natural thing in the world. He then urged Mr. Garrison to carry on with the lesson.

We all mostly were able to ignore this until the hounds tried to eat Kenny. That got Mr. Garrison pissed off enough. Not only did he send Damien and his hounds to the councilors office, he sent Pip along just cause he was the only one who was friends with Satan's son. Sure, I may have felt kinda bad for Pip, but that's what you got for being friends with a guy who'd tried to kill one of my best friends.

The last big event of the day was again Cartman's fault. See, he had this brilliant idea that he wanted to see that if he yelled 'Ay! Kool-Aid!' the Kool-Aid man would burst through the wall. Well hell, anything's possible in this fucked up little mountain town.

Sure enough, as soon as the words left Cartman's fat mouth, the Kool-Aid man came bursting through the wall, right into Kenny's desk.

Everyone thought for sure this was the way Kenny was going today. But no, the resilient little bastard flew out of his desk and into Stan.

I did laugh my ass off, but I was so relieved that Kenny hadn't died. I'd never admit it out loud, but it kinda really upset me each time he died. Sure he always came back, but what if one time he didn't? Plus it had to be a pain in the ass.

After that (Cartman had also been sent to see Mr. Mackey) the day went flawlessly. Kenny took up Pip's empty desk and didn't die and we learnt absolutely zero about anything.

So here we were, standing in the playground wondering what the hell there was to do with our after school time.

And then Cartman did it again, he opened his big, fat, stupid mouth.

"'Ay! Po' boy!" he snapped at Kenny, who'd been in the middle of apologizing to Stan for landing on his head in class.

["What?!"] was Kenny's muffled and angry response. I didn't blame him for snapping, Cartman was really annoying on a good day.

"I betchoo ten bucks your tongue will get stuck to the tetherball pole if you lick it!"

Kenny let out a sting of muffled curses, he was the only 8 year old I knew of that had the guts and knowledge for such a feat.

"C'mon po' boy! Ten bucks and then you can come to a movie with us."

"Cartman!" Stan snapped.

"You're such a fatass!" I added.

"No I'm not! Shut up you guys!" Cartman howled at us. Kenny was halfway to the tetherball post.

"Kenny! Don't!" I shouted after him.

He ignored me and pulled back the fur on his hood and stuck his tongue to the pole.

When he started to pull away I could already see Cartman trying to think of a way to weasel out of the deal instead of actually paying Kenny the 10 bucks.

And then Kenny sprung forward and smashed his face against the pole with a muffled squeak of surprise. Stan and I rushed to Kenny's side while Cartman burst into fits of laughter.

"Aw man," Stan sighed, "Why'd you do it, dude?"

Now we couldn't understand the muffled, squeaky words coming out of Kenny's mouth, though I was sure more than a few of them were swears. And then Kenny did something incredibly stupid. He yanked his tongue straight off the pole.

Not without leaving some behind of course.

Now we weren't the most sensitive kids around. This was most evident by my first reaction.

"Aww, dude! Sick!"

Kenny just grinned, blood gushing from his mouth, matting the fur on his parka, colour draining from his face.

"Uhh…K-Kenny?" Stan stuttered. Kenny flashed him a thumbs up before falling over.

"Dude," I said softly as the rats started to appear.

"Oh my god!" Stan cried, as he always did. He rounded on Cartman and pointed an accusing finger, "You killed Kenny!"

Lost for anything else to say about the death, I opened my mouth and said all I could.

"You bastard!"

ii.

It was seven o'clock at night. Everyone was done dinner and was heading over to the school. See, for some reason every year we are forced to do one of those crappy 'important people in American History' plays.

It sucks major ass every year.

First off there's always the crappy home-made costumes. And then my mom always needs to have a bake sale on the same day. A fundraiser for the school, that's what she called it. And of course Cartman always finds a way to fuck everything up.

So we're all standing back stage, waiting for our time to go on.

Stan and I were standing around talking with Christophe, who had come back to life (until then a feat only pulled off by Kenny) and joined us in school. Of course he refused to be in the play, being a God-hating French bastard. He'd offered instead to help Tweek backstage, since performing was 'too much pressure' for the caffeine junkie, but we were pretty sure that he couldn't handle doing the curtains on his own either.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kenny enter the stage area with Butters. He was Ben Franklin and Butters was Thomas Jefferson. Which was considerable better than who I was portraying. The problem with being John Hancock was I had Craig following me everywhere giggling and saying 'cock' every five seconds.

I beckoned them over and chuckled a bit at Kenny's little makeshift kite. It was made with chicken wire and cloth so he could hold it up without needing actual wind. These plays were crappy, but hell, we only had to say one or two lines and that was it.

"Ze kite looks like eet iz deprezed," Christophe pointed out to the drooping kite. Kenny scowled at him, blue eyes holding a fierce 'shut up' look. Christophe held his hands up in defense.

"I waz not meaning any dizrezpect." He said, trying to keep a peaceful air around them. I think Christophe was secretly afraid of Kenny because Kenny wasn't afraid of him.

Just as Kenny opened his mouth to say something, Mrs. Garrison came around and ushered us to take our positions. Christophe went to where Tweek was standing, or rather twitching in place, and the rest of us lined up behind the curtain they were supposed to raise.

Stan poked me in the ribs and before I had a chance to snap at him, he pointed at Cartman who looked like he was trying to figure out a way to turn Abraham Lincoln into Hitler. I shook my head and looked past the mass of fat that was our friend to Kenny. It looked like Christophe's words, though they had meant no harm, had gotten to him. I felt a twang of sadness for the guy. He did what he could with the little money he had, and he usually did pretty well for himself. At least he wasn't stealing things.

And then I didn't have any more time to focus on Kenny because the curtain was raising and we had to go on.

Now, don't ask me what happened exactly. I think it was Tweek's fault, though none of us would tell him that. The kid had enough problems as it was. At any rate, when it was Kenny's turn to step forward and say his few lines, everything went to hell.

Either Tweek had a huge twitch fit or Christophe accidentally scared him. Something happened to the boy that caused him to hit the auto switch on the curtains, which came crashing down onto us. So while Kenny managed to avoid this, Butters' shoe flew off and hit the lights. They swung down and I think I screamed cause I was pretty sure they were gunna hit Kenny.

Amazingly, the lights avoiding hitting him completely.

"Oh my god you guys!" Kenny yipped excitedly, turning to us, "I didn't--!"

As Kenny turned, his kite jammed into one of the crashed lights. Kenny died in a true Benjamin Franklin fashion, electrocuted.

"Oh my god!" Stan yelped as best he could from under the curtain, "They killed Kenny!"

"You bastards!" I shouted.

iii.

Middle school was a new and confusing place for us. We were twelve and things just seemed so…awkward. Which they totally were because no one has a fun time going through puberty.

Except for Kenny apparently, who was already so knowledgeable about the world of sex that he was hardly phased by the awkwardness of it. He also had his Parka hood to hide his cracking voice behind.

It wasn't until now that I realized how much I was always aware of Kenny's presence. I mean, I had always known he was there, but it was like I was just starting to really know. Which was a startling revelation to say the least. But if you think about it, it makes sense.

Garrison followed us into middle school. You'd think she'd be happy to be rid of us, but apparently not. Between Garrison and Big Gay Al and all the gay shit we'd seen in our lives, it wasn't that far of a stretch for me to be at least bi-sexual.

I think the funniest thing though was sex-ed. Between Kenny's already broad knowledge of the subject and that one time Butters got sent to that bi-curious camp cause Cartman was secretly a fag for him, things often took an amusing turn.

Craig had heard a word earlier that week, and as soon as we were sitting in our desks, his hand was in the air. Everyone was surprised cause Craig didn't do a lot of hand raising in class. He mostly just flipped people off.

"What is it Craig?" Mrs. Garrison asked with an exasperated sigh, expecting it to be a question involving the word cock. With Craig, most things involved the word cock.

"What's pansexual mean?" Craig asked, a dead pan look on his face because he really wanted to know. It was a good question anyways. We all knew the basic 'sexuals'. Bi, homo, hetero, metero. It was all easy to distinguish. Pan was a new one.

Before Garrison even had her mouth open, Kenny's muffled voice popped up.

["I'm pansexual!"] he announced through the fur of his hood. We couldn't see the grin, but we could tell it was one of those big shit eating ones that announced Kenny had just said something that was more than likely to get him in trouble.

Mrs. Garrison studied Kenny for a moment with a blank look before ignoring him and turning to write the word on the whiteboard. "Pansexual is similar to bisexual. Instead of being attracted to either sex, you're just attracted to the fact that they offer you sex."

Everyone looked at Kenny. Cartman's voice popped up. "Kenneh, yew flamin' fag!"

"Eric! We will not tolerate that kind of---"

["You're a fag!"] Kenny shot back, that angry look returning to his face. There was an instant fight. I tuned it out because…well, because Kenny was pansexual and I was pretty sure I was a little bit Kenny-sexual.

I think Cartman noticed my odd silence after the class because when school ended and we were all trying to figure out what to do, Cartman uttered the magic words of childhood that anyone and everyone had to obey no matter what.

"'Ay Kahl…"

"What?" I asked, adjusting my hat on my head. Thank god the crazy curls had calmed themselves down and I could let strands of my vibrant red hair poke out.

"Yer a Jewfag, and Kenneh's a flammin' fag. Why don't you guys hold hands and skip down the road all faggeh like?"

"Shut up Cartman!" I snarled at him, feeling a rose colour rush to my cheeks. Thankfully I could pass if off as anger. Kenny let out a similar sound to my snarl. Kenny could put up with poor jokes, but not gay ones apparently.

"Ah. Dare. Yew." Cartman said each word like a sentence, looking very smug about it. I blinked and turned to Stan, my Super Best Friend, for help. Stan blinked back at me and shrugged.

"Dude, he dared you."

I turned to Kenny who had the look of a trapped animal in his eyes. Was he scared of me? Or did he just not want to hold hands with me. That thought kinda hurt, Kenny being pansexual and getting whoever he could and all.

Well, okay. We were twelve and I doubted he was getting anybody at this point in time. Maybe that was why he was so scared, he talked big but …

"Kenneh, I dare you too!" Cartman piped up.

Looking at each other, Kenny and I just stood there stupidly. Finally I held out my hand.

"He dared us, dude." I said softly. I was hoping my voice sounded defeated, like this was a stupid thing but we had to do it cause you couldn't go against a dare no matter how much you wanted to.

Kenny looked at my hand and then Cartman and then my hand. While he hesitated I reached out and snagged his gloved hand in mine. Kenny froze and then I froze in turn. We stood there like a couple of rtarded statues for what felt like forever. My fingers sparked and tingled through my gloves and Kenny gave me a look like he wanted out. Like he needed out. And he needed it now.

With a muffled squeak that I'm sure the others couldn't hear but sounded a whole lot like 'Oh my god dude, I can't!' to me, he yanked his hand back.

Now, if there's one thing you should know about South Park it's that it's covered mostly in a layer of rather slick ice. And ice has a habit of tripping you, especially when you're trying to yank out of someone's grip.

"Kenny!" I yelped, reaching out to try and catch his falling form. When Kenny yanked back, he fell back. And he was falling back into the road.

There was a loud honk from the semi, and a sick splatting sound, and no Kenny. I was grabbing at empty air.

"Kenny!" Stan and I both cried out. I had fallen forward in my attempt to rescue the blonde, but quickly scrambled to my feet to take off after Stan who'd began to sprint down the street. Cartman lagged behind us.

Finally we found him, road kill in the middle of Main Street. Mangled orange and red and nothing more.

"Oh my god," Stan huffed, hands on his knees as he attempted to catch his breath, though unable to tear his eyes from the scene. "That guy killed Kenny!"

"You bastard!" I screamed after the retreating truck.

iv.

You'd think that by fourteen years of age I'd be able to cope with hormones and emotions and everything so much easier. You'd really think.

I really thought.

Unfortunately my brains only go as far as academics, the rest I'm as blind and hopeless as the rest of my friends. And it really didn't help that my mother was…well, my mother of all people. I was afraid to try and do anything. Sure, I'd kissed a couple of people, but that was just…kissing. It was boring. And I never really made out with anyone.

Stan had Wendy (on and off), Kenny had whoever he could get his hands on and Cartman had…well okay. Cartman had no one, but that's cause he was a fatassed, loud mouthed bigot that barely anyone could stand to put up with. I wasn't sure why we were still friends with him.

During lunch I suddenly found myself alone. Wendy had dragged Stan off, Kenny had somehow wormed his way into Christophe's mind and the mercenary was pissed off but couldn't leave the blonde alone. Cartman was available, but I really didn't feel like hearing 'Jewfag' for an hour or so.

So here I was, wandering the halls feeling like a kicked puppy because my Super Best Friend couldn't ditch his girlfriend for me, and my other Best Friend (and uber-extra secret crush) was learning the proper art of 'French Kissing'.

"Well hey there Kyle!"

I stopped at the sound of that overly cheery voice that was so unmistakable only people were complete rtards wouldn't recognize it.

"Hey Butters," I said dejectedly as I paused and waited for the bouncy kid to catch up.

"Aw, what's wrong?" Butters asked sympathetically as he fell into step with me and we made our way to the cafeteria.

"Nothing really," I said, offering him a false smile, "Just having an off day."

"Everybody has those," Butters said, still sympathetic, "But cheer up! Every rainbow has a pot of gold at the end!"

I turned and looked at the bubbly blonde and couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, you're right Butters, thanks."

"Aw, it was no problem Kyle," Butters said, looking like that had just made his day. "Hey, did you wanna sit with me for lunch?"

"Sure," I agreed, "Everyone else is busy right now anyways."

We got our lunches and went to a secluded table in the far reaches of the cafeteria. Usually the Goths sat back here, but we hadn't seen them all day so I figured it would be safe to sit here for now. Since Cartman never really looked that far back in the cafeteria, I didn't really need to worry about him either.

Lunch itself was pretty quiet. I milled over my thoughts, pondering what the hell to do to get rid of these feelings for Kenny and Butters hummed a cheerful tune that sounded awfully familiar but I couldn't really put my finger on it.

"What are you thinking about Kyle?" Butters suddenly asked, looking at me intently.

"Huh…what? Why?"

"Cause it must be awful good to have you smiling like that."

My face dropped. Had I been smiling? What was I thinking about? Oh god. Kenny had popped up, but there was no way…

"Butters, do you like boys?" I suddenly asked. Butters looked a little startled, but then smiled.

"Sometimes." He said with a nod, "But its okay. God made me that way."

"Yeah, so you think its okay to like boys?"

"Oh sure!" Butters chirped happily, "Do you like boys?"

"I…I don't know," I said with a shrug, looking down at my plate and pushing around the food.

"CRAIG!"

Kenny's hyper-activate voice rang through the cafeteria and both Butters and I looked up in time to see Kenny launch himself through the doors at the other boy. Craig's only defense was to flip him off. Unfortunately he hadn't developed a shield with that finger cause Kenny still tackled him to the ground. Everyone burst out laughing at the scene and Craig was cursing worse than a sailor on crack.

I couldn't help but laugh along, watching Kenny with a sort of fondness that I normally tried to hide, and a tinge of jealousy cause he never launched himself at me like that.

"Kyle?"

"Hmm?" I answered, looking up at Butters with a curious look.

"When…oh jeeze. When I asked do you like boys, I think I might mean…oh my gosh." Butters looked flustered, like he was embarrassed for catching onto my complete obviousness, "Do you like Kenny?"

I stared at Butters for a long while and he looked upset and flustered and started spouting off apologies and oh jeezes and stuttering in a very Butters like way.

"I think I might," I finally said after a while, looking up and watching Kenny talk animatedly to Craig, Clyde and Tweek (Tweek looking like he was about to have a heart attack from Kenny's arm movements or something). Butters looked up too. It seemed Kenny knew our eyes were on him cause he glanced up, flashed us a giant smile and wave before returning his attention to his other friends.

"I…I have an idea." Butters offered with a sheepish smile.

Well, whatever Butters' plan was, it involved him, me, and Kenny going for a romp in the forest. I generally avoided the heavily wooded areas because there was all sorts of strange creatures (and Al Gore) hiding in and around here. But with Kenny and Butters it didn't seem so bad and I figured I must have a pretty active imagination (which may or may not have been good for Imagination Land).

Finally we came to a clearing that actually looked rather used and Butters turned to us with a giant, happy, pleased with himself smile.

"I come here to play with Dougie sometimes," he informed us, "Its safe. There's no bears or nuthin'!"

Kenny and I looked at each other rather skeptically because really…what the hell Butters?

"Anyways," Butters drew our attention back to him, "I like to be a good friend. And I don't like to meddle but sometimes being a good friend means---."

Whatever Butters point was, it was never reached. I mean, yeah, I had vague ideas that he had dragged us out here to do some weird confession thing, which I totally wasn't doing because dude, really? I wasn't that gay.

It seems Butters was mistaken about the no bears thing.

As Kenny turned to me with a muffled 'what the fuck' a bear came out of the trees. It looked at Butters, then Kenny and then me.

"Oh shit dude!" I yelped, pointing at the monstrous beast. Butters screamed and started to climb a tree. Real brilliant kid. Kenny turned tail and started to run, but me, I was rooted to the spot.

The bear was advancing, a low growl rumbling from its throat.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

"Kyle! Move!" Kenny screamed. I couldn't. I couldn't move. I watched as the bear advanced on me.

"KYLE!"

Kenny leaped in front of me, the bear swiped at him.

"KENNY!"

Well, it was only half of Kenny. The other half was being dragged away by the bear.

"Shit dude…I…I killed Kenny…"

v.

High School. Holy shit, did the years go by. We were sixteen and everything changed. We all stayed together, but drifted apart at the same time.

Stan joined the football team. Cartman was in the AV club (which was actually a lot cooler place to be than one would think). Kenny actually joined the drama club, and was amazing at it. What did I do? I went and rooted them all on.

Sure, I could have been in like…the math club or doing the tutor thing. Well, technically I was cause Stan wasn't a genius and Kenny had math issues.

Yeah, I could have done that, but I had more fun going to plays or sports events and seeing my friends have fun. I didn't mind being the 'background friend' because they knew I was there, and that's what mattered.

Today was Thursday. Thursday meant that Stan had practice and Kenny had rehearsals and hell if I knew what Cartman was doing anymore. Since the other drama kids didn't really like me hanging around watching Kenny, I sat outside and watched Stan instead.

The weather was getting warmer, which wasn't as rare as people thought in South Park. I was just in a loosely zipped hoodie over a tee. I never got rid of my hat though, it was pretty much a part of me.

"Can…can – nng! Can I sit here?"

"Sure Tweek," I said without looking up. Tweek plopped down next to me, and all I could smell was his coffee. "How ya doin?"

"I'm…I'm good," Tweek said with a shaky nod, his eyes fixed on the field where Craig and Stan were chatting.

Tweek and I hung out a lot now. Most people thought it was odd, but we were in the same boat. Tweek was for Craig like I was for Kenny. It was something there that you could never get out. The difference was that I did kiss other people, Tweek wouldn't. Or maybe he couldn't, Tweek was weird like that.

I didn't know why I liked Kenny. It was something that had plagued me for years. I figured it would be something that would continue to plague me. As close as Kenny and I got, he was never as open with me as he was with everyone else. I think his distance made me crave more.

But that was just me trying to think I was thinking with my head and not my dick.

A swirl of smoke invaded my personal space. My first thought was to tell Christophe to fuck off and then I remembered the Frenchy was off on some mission or another. I glanced up to see Kenny standing just to my left. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his orange sweats and he stared out intently at the field. He actually looked a bit like a convict with a white t-shirt and smoke hanging loosely out of the corner of his mouth.

"Don't you have practice?" I asked. Kenny blinked a bit and turned his gaze down on me.

"Yeah," he said with a shrug. "Skipped." He grinned at me with a wink. "They'll live without me."

I chuckled a bit and returned my attention to the field. Kenny plopped down behind me, his legs appearing at my sides as he leaned back to finish his smoke.

My logical side said he did it cause he knew how much I hated smoke in my face, my illogical side said he did it to put me in this flustered position I suddenly found myself in.

"Hey Ken," I said softly, tipping my head back, "Why do you smoke?"

Kenny leaned forward a bit, blue eyes staring down at me with a mischievous grin. "Spent too much time with Tophie, the habit rubbed off."

He held my gaze for a little bit, a faint smirk on his lips. A horrific realization hit me then. There was a possibility Kenny was going to kiss me. Not only that, but every time I let myself somewhat relax Kenny died. And then we started this whole stupid thing over again.

Very suddenly I jumped up, looking around for any sign of possible death. Save for the bleachers collapsing on us, there was nothing.

"You okay Kyle?" Kenny asked, reaching out to steady an extra twitchy Tweek. My sudden movement had scared the crap outta him.

"Yeah…I just…I…" I stuttered, not sure what to say. Maybe I should just come out and say it. Say everything. Eight years and I hadn't said dick all to this guy I was convinced I was gay for.

"Kyle?" Kenny asked, raising an eyebrow. The way he stared at me was like he knew what was on the tip of my tongue. I opened my mouth, unsure of what was about to come out of it when it happened.

Kenny died.

The track kids were tossing around the javelins, one slipped, freak accident they claimed. It landed straight through Kenny's chest. I yelped, Tweek spazzed and the football practice came to a hault.

Kenny slumped forward, his body slowly sliding down the pole that had lodged itself into the wooden planks.

With Stan not directly at my side, I looked to Tweek for the now clichéd line. Tweek stared wide at me.

"Ack! Ngh! Too much pressure!" he yelped.

"You BASTARDS!" I screamed over the bleachers at the track team in reply.

vi.

It had been two long fucking years for me to work up any sort of courage again to face Kenny. Well, I mean. I faced Kenny every day. Still friends and all. But for me to work up any sort of closeness like that day during Stan's practice…

It was a week until grad. We were kings in the school. And Token's parents were letting us party at his place. Of course. Being all rich and stuff. We used to pick on Token for it, but now we didn't care because really, his basement was huge.

I had been working with Red Goth on a project the entire week, which kinda sucked. I mean, don't get me wrong, the Goth kids were kinda cool once you got past their conformist speeches. See, the only problem with Red was that he was going through a phase I hoped to never relive.

He was questioning his existence, and the existence of reality. For a week straight that was all I heard. Does this exist? Does that exist? I said he should leave his hair red and he asked if red existed.

We weren't really getting anywhere, so I had to call Stan to come save me from the dank bedroom of the Goth boy. He was there in five minutes flat. Stan was probably the fastest, most reckless driver in South Park.

"Dude," I sighed, climbing into the passenger seat, "How the hell did you hang out with those kids?"

"Dude, I just tuned them out. I wasn't conforming to their complaints about conforming."

"Dude," I laughed, "You're either the best Goth, or the biggest rtard I know."

"Thank god I'm not Goth anymore, hmm?" Stan said with a grin. "Look dude, I told Craig and Tweek I'd give them a ride to, need to stop at home?"

Ignoring the fact that Stan called himself a rtard, I pulled down the visor and looked in the mirror, brushing my hand through my hair. I'd cut it short so it wouldn't be a giant mass of curls anymore. Kenny said he thought I looked cool with the red spikes, so I'd made a habit of keeping it that way.

"Nah dude, I'm good. The sooner we get to Token's, the sooner we drink. And after spending an hour with RG, I need a drink."

Stan laughed and nodded, "Great."

We drove to Craig's place in relative silence. Stan was probably fretting over whether or not Wendy would break up with him tonight or not, and I was going over Red's words. Not the whether or not everything existed, more of whether the things we felt were existent because of desire and invisible, intangible, impulsive emotions. But then, if I ignored the fact that emotions existed, or didn't exist, I would be devoid of emotion. And then I'd just be another Goth kid. And there was already a Red Goth.

"Hey guys," Craig said, snapping me from my plaguing thoughts as he and Tweek crawled into the backseat.

"Hey dudes," I greeted, grinning as Tweek clutched a thermos of coffee to his chest. "Jeeze Tweek, you gunna drink anything else?"

"I…ngh! Kyle!"

"Dude, you know Tweek won't drink." Stan said, shifting into drive.

"I think it would be pretty awesome though," Craig said with a grin.

"Craig!" Tweek squeaked in surprise. Instinctively he flipped Tweek off. We all kinda laughed, except for Tweek who just whined and twitched.

The rest of the drive to Token's was Craig trying to convince Tweek to drink just a little cause he'd have so much more fun then. Stan and I just grinned and shook our heads. I did feel kinda bad for poor Tweek, who had finally gotten braver than I ever could.

Although I think when he blurted out to Craig how he felt it was more of an involuntary spaz. We were all out for pizza when it happened. I remember Tweek blurted it out and the whole table fell silent. No one was sure how Craig would react, being the anarchistic asshole he was. However he just laughed and ruffled Tweek's hair and continued eating his pizza.

Briefly I wondered if that would work with Kenny. But, looking over at the blonde I shook my head. He wouldn't accept something like that. He'd just ignore it really, Kenny needed something profound.

"Dude," Stan laughed, snapping his fingers in my face, "Wake up. We're here."

I blinked and looked out the window at Token's house. "Dude, I must have zoned out." I laughed, pushing opening the door and getting out of the car. The four of us headed up to Token's door. Where Stan and I would have knocked, Craig just walked in. He was one of Token's best friends. We just shrugged and followed him in. Kicking off our shoes, Craig and Tweek led us to the basement.

Most of the guys were already there, Clyde and Christophe were playing rock band. I grinned a bit, watching Christophe curse around his smoke as his guitar clanged more than it hit actual notes.

"Diz stupid game." He growled, "Sheet!"

"Aw, c'mon Tophie!" Kenny laughed, "You can't suck this bad! You're on easy!"

"Shut it McCormick!" Christophe snarled.

Stan nudged my ribs and I pulled my eyes from the amusing show and followed him to get a drink. Alcohol in hand, we went back to the couch. Stan took the only seat left on the couch, so I had to sit on the floor.

"How was Red's?" Kenny asked, nudging me with his foot.

"Oh you know, blank and abysmal." I laughed, leaning my head back onto Stan's knee so I could see Kenny, "Made me question the existence of everything."

"Oh no," Kenny laughed, leaning forward and plucking my drink from my hand, "Guess we gotta reinstate those beliefs now, hmm?"

"Oh no," I moaned in mock sorrow, "Nothing exists. Life is a blank, bleary existence. I refuse to conform to your beliefs in life, the universe and pathetic emotions like love…"

Yeah, I went there. Prodding a little to see how Kenny would react.

The blonde laughed and returned my drink to me as Stan got up to play and Clyde took his seat. I shifted my head to Kenny's knee so I could keep looking at him, keeping a carefully built blank look of lost hope on my face.

"Poor, poor jewboy," Kenny grinned, running fingers through my short hair, "How can we make him believe in life, the universe and love?"

"There iz only one way to reinstate ze belief of love," came Christophe's accent voice, followed by "Sheet!" as his game clanged again.

"And how's that Tophie?" Kenny asked, looking up with a mischievous glint in his eye. I suddenly doubted my decision on this. Dude, I wasn't even drunk yet!

On that note I chugged the rest of my drink and stole Clyde's. He didn't notice and I chugged that too, making a face at the intake.

"Well, you must teach 'im ze language of course."

"Ah, the French." Kenny laughed, "Everything is about kissing with you guys."

"What?" I squeaked. Kenny looked down at me with a grin.

Time slowed. Kenny's hands held my face still as he leaned forward. His lips pressed lightly against mine. I thought that was all it was gunna be. Then I felt him press harder, tongue running lightly against my lips. I couldn't resist Kenny. It was impossible. Ten years and I was getting what I wanted, it scared the crap outta me.

The kiss felt like eternity. Everything I wanted to say, each time I was close to saying something poured into it. I felt the sorrow of every single time Kenny died pushed back, the loss of this experience.

"Kenny," I said in mild shock, pulling away from the kiss.

"Yeah?" he asked, a smirk plastered on his lips and an eyebrow rose.

"Dude…you didn't die…"

Kenny laughed a bit and nodded. "Seems so. I guess it was finally time that---"

"'AY! I knew it! Kahl, is a JEWFAG!" Cartman shouted from across the room. Everyone looked up at Cartman doing some weird victory dance. I glanced back up at Kenny who just shrugged.

"Just roll with it, emo boy." He chuckled, leaning down to kiss me again.

---

My endings are for fail, and for this I apologize.

As I stop being rusty and get more comfortable with the fandom, they should improve ^^