AN: I, of course, don't own anything. This story was written for the Jane Austen made me do it contest. Hope you enjoy and feel free to leave reviews. They are my inspiration.
This is the story of Winifred Anabella Wentworth or rather how she came to give her mother a true sense of self and family. The story begins with Anne Wentworth telling her husband Fredrick of their impending parenthood. This would have been an ordinary enough occasions, if they were not currently on a battleship in the middle of the North Sea. She found him alone on the bridge and shut the door behind herself.
"Husband," Anne said with a slight apprehension.
"Wife," replied he concern evident.
"I fear I will need to return to England soon or at the very least land." She was not looking forward to leaving her husband for the first time since their marriage almost two years previous.
"Oh Anne, is something wrong? Are you unhappy or sick?" He was starting to worry.
"Not sick, but I do have a condition." She replied.
"What the matter, my dearest?"
"I need to consult a physician about the arrival of your heir. I am no expert, but I estimate its impending arrival this fall." She was unsure how he would take the news. They had talked about having a child but feared it would not be possible. Now she was worried that he would be unhappy at having to return to England.
"A baby?" he questioned unable to believe his ears. "We are going to have a baby!"
"I believe so." Anne replied her voice shaky.
"That is incredible!" His face almost spilt, so wide was his smile. An odd combination of love, pride, and sheer awe shone in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around his beloved and twirled her around, showering her face with kisses. Anne began to laugh, that was what she loved most about Fredrick, his ability to make her smile no matter what she was feeling. "Certainly, we shall take you to Dover as soon as may be."
"So you are pleased then?" She asked, still needing a little reassurance.
"Pleased does not begin to describe how amazed I feel. The only thing that concerns me is that the Navy will need me for some time still." He replied sadly.
"I have put some thought to it." Anne commented. "I thought perhaps I could write to Lady Russell or the Admiral and Sophie to stay with them while you are still at sea."
"That does seem a good idea. I do abhor the thought of you alone in this condition. Where does Lady Russell spend her autumn?" Fredrick asked thoughtfully.
"In London, or at least that has been her custom of late." She returned.
"Just as I suspected, in that case, if it is agreeable with you and everyone else involved, you could spend the first few months with Sophie at Kellynch. Then, when Lady Russell goes to London you could join her for your lying in, that way you will have access to the very best physician."
"That does seem a sensible course of action. I will write to both as soon as we dock." Anne smiled at her husband. Finally she was getting excited about the new life in their future.
"Now that we have all that settled, why don't we celebrate?" Fredrick ordered an extra pint for all the men and made the announcement that they would be docking early. It was fortuitous that this was only a training mission. They would be docked in Dover in but a few days.
Now it is to be said that Fredrick Wentworth was a man who had built his life on duty and honor. He knew he had made a commitment to train the crew of the HMS Mastiff. He knew that he would fulfill that commitment. That being said, he was tremendously apprehensive to be separated from his wife at such a dangerous time for her. When he had taken the position, it was only because he knew he could bring Anne along. They had wasted too much time without each other's company already. Now he was wondering if he would ever see her again.
Honestly, he had never thought that they might be blessed with a child. It was a dangerous prospect in general but more so at Anne's age. When he was faced with the circumstances, whole new sorts of worries began to plague him. Would he be a good father? Would he provide enough for the child? Would his wife and child even survive? He was unequipped to navigate the torrent of feelings that struck him.
Still, he tried to make the most of his last days with his darling wife. They took a turn around the deck every morning and at dusk. They ate every meal together. He taught her about the maps he was using and she read to him in the evenings.
He tried to memorize the exact tone, and cadence of her voice, barely comprehending the words but trying to absorb her very essence. He had almost forgotten the little things in their years apart. The way she fixed her tea with three lumps of sugar. The way her hair smelled like jasmine. The way she laughed out loud when she read something funny. Now he was working overtime trying to mentally record every possible facet of her personality.
Anne was absorbed in a world of tiny dresses and toy soldiers. Would it be a boy or a girl? Anne thought it was a girl. Fredrick was sure it would be a son. Would the child studious or an outgoing adventurer? Anne was positive that their child would be scholarly. Fredrick imagined him to be Jim Hawkins without the swashbuckling. Would he (or she) be intelligent? Most assuredly, they both agreed that their progeny would be very clever and witty indeed.
On their last evening together Anne asked if he would be in London when the baby was born. Fredrick wanted to be there, but he was assigned to be on the ship for another 10 months. He told her would try to get shore leave for at least a few weeks. She thought that they should discuss names, just in that case.
They established quickly that a boy would be named Fredrick Henry Wentworth. The girl's name was slightly more trying. Fredrick insisted that a girl should be named Anne. Anne disliked the idea; however did she agree to let it be the middle name.
Anne suggested Eleanor after one of her favorite characters from a new book. Fredrick thought it was too trendy. Fredrick thought Patience sounded very pretty, however Anne speculated that many women she knew with the name, often lacked the virtue. In the end they decided on Sophia, after his dear sister.
The next day, when they were docked, they set off to post the necessary letters, and meet with Mrs. Williams. She was the wife of the second in command. When Lieutenant Commander Williams had heard about the captain's wife's condition he offered his home for her to call her own until the appropriate travel arrangements could be made. Lieutenant Commander and Mrs. Williams were fine people with a nicely situated home in a relatively fashionable part of town.
They enjoyed a quick repast of which three ate heartily and one avoided casting up her accounts. It was as Anne and Fredrick were saying farewell that each thought of Captain Harville's fateful words that day in Bath. A look of true love, trust and admiration passed between them, Anne leaned in and whispered that she would surely see him again. He smiled at her and replied that he should indeed see her before Christmas and that he should be very excited to meet his son. She rolled her eyes and asked how he should greet his daughter. He said if the daughter was anything like her mother, he should enjoy it very much.
The men returned to the ship leaving the women to get better acquainted. Mrs. Williams was happy to have some company. She was a slight woman, of five and twenty, with the etiquette and good manners. She was warm and friendly. On meeting Anne, she insisted they would be great friends and that Anne simply must call her Julia. They found much to discuss as they had similar tastes in both music and books.
After a week with Mrs. Williams, Anne started to become despondent. She was seen by a midwife who told her exactly what she already knew and nothing more. She was hoping that Mrs. Croft or Lady Russell would be there very soon. It was not that she did not enjoy Mrs. Williams' company, only that she was very unnerved about her coming confinement. Though Mrs. Williams did have two healthy children, Anne did not feel comfortable discussing questions of that nature with such a new acquaintance.
After nearly a fortnight, Anne finally received several letters. Mrs. Croft wrote to say that she was leaving as soon as the coach could be made ready. She also spent several lines discussing the thrill of again becoming an Aunt. Anne was pleased that she would soon be in the company of her favorite sister-in-law. She imagined Sophie and the Admiral should be arriving in but a few more days.
After informing Julia of the contents of her first letter, she returned her attention to her correspondence. Lady Russell was indeed planning on being in London by middle of September and was looking forward to meeting her little grandchild.
Lady Russell had for many years thought of Anne as her daughter, though she had not approved of Captain Wentworth in the beginning. In the time since their marriage, Lady Russell had come to see that Fredrick Wentworth was the key to Anne's happiness and that alone was enough to carve out a place for him in her heart. Soon, however, she came to realize that Captain Wentworth was not only a good husband, but also a kind, generous and intelligent man. Now that she was becoming a surrogate grandmother, she was radiating joy.
Sure as the west wind, three days later came the arrival of the Admiral and Mrs. Croft. All were immensely pleased to be reunited. They thanked Mrs. Williams for her hospitality and made their way to the inn they would be staying at this evening. Anne had agreed to stay with them that night as they planned to head back to Kellynch at day break.
The next morning broke bright and clear. Anne was struggling with some indisposition but wanted very much to be home, so she said nothing of it. As they were loading into the carriage Admiral Croft gave her a pat on the shoulder and reminded her that attack is the best form of defense. She was unsure of his meaning but smiled knowingly in return. It took all of three minutes for the meaning to catch her. The moment she set off with the Croft's the questions started. Had they thought of names yet? What did they think it was? Was she craving anything? Was she walking enough? Was she walking too much?
It was all Anne could do not to dissolve into tears. Her feelings were as scattered as a squirrel finding its nuts for the winter. One minute she was smiling off at nothing, imagining Fredrick bounce a happy little boy on his knee and the next she was in tears, worried that he might be disappoint with the girl she was sure she was carrying. It had been a constant fight for composure. She was, in a word, overwhelmed.
It was lucky that the Admiral caught her eye then and gave her a raised eyebrow. Attack is the best defense.
"I have a feeling it is a girl. She will be named by Fredrick when he arrives and I have been feeling a bit out of sorts today, so if it all the same I would very much like to rest a bit." Anne said giving a smile to Sophie. She very much loved her new sister but all these questions were too much. The Admiral gave her a nod of approval.
"Of course my dear, you must be simply exhausted. Please, I insist you rest for until we are ready to break our journey." Sophie gave a comforting pat on the knee before pulling out a book to occupy the expedition.
Their journey was taxing but without incident. Anne settled happily into Kelllynch and had a frequent visitor in Lady Russell. Though neither Lady Russell nor Mrs. Croft had any children, they did have a great deal of advice on the subject.
Lady Russell insisted that she should employ a wet nurse and send the child out for the appropriate length of time. Sophie was of an entirely different school of thought. She had spent a good deal time with other cultures and very much advocated keeping the child with Anne as much as possible. Anne was concerned about how others would see her in either case. These were things she and Fredrick had never discussed and she had no idea who was right or what her husband would want.
She began to worry. If she sent the child out, Fredrick might be disappointed in her decision. Perhaps, if she kept the child with her she would cause him ridicule. What if she picked the wrong nurse? What if the child did not take to her and prefer the nurse to its own mother? She was beginning to doubt herself at every turn. She wanted to be a good mother. More than anything, she wanted to make her child feel exceptional and extremely loved. She was simply at a loss as to how to make everyone happy. Months went by but Anne was no closer to a solution, but it was about to reach a boiling point.
Mary Musgrove knew her sister, Anne, was leaving soon and decided to come for a visit. Of course, she was joined in her visit by Mrs. Musgrove and Mrs. Henrietta Hayter. As it happened, Mrs. Hayter was herself well into a pregnancy, thus it became an overwhelming topic of conversation. They were enjoying some tea in the conservatory, but it seemed that each of the women wanted to corner Anne with some advice or suggestion.
"Anne, dear," began Mrs. Musgrove in a hushed tone. "What have you been craving? You simply must tell me. It is the surest way of determining with sex of your child. With Charles I wanted nothing but meat and cheese. With the girls, it was all fruit and sweets. I heard Mrs. Smith say something about a ring on a string but it sounded like utter nonsense. Some people I have heard say it is something to do with the shape of the woman's stomach. I put no stock in that what so ever. Though, I have seen many a woman in your condition, and from the way you are carrying so low I can say, without a doubt, that you are carrying a boy." Mrs. Musgrove concluded very pleased with herself. "Now Anne, you mustn't let your son run wild as my dear grandsons do. I recommend a firm hand and plenty of treats, which will always rule the day and keep a child in firm constitution."
Mrs. Musgrove went tottering off, sure in the knowledge that she knew everything. She was quickly replaced with Mary. Now Mary had been happy that Anne and Fredrick had married. Not only because she had a connection now that the Musgrove's did not but also because she assumed that they would never have children and thus her second son might inherit something from his favorite aunt. This pregnancy was a fly in the ointment of her carefully laid plans.
"Anne," She whined, "do not think that being an aunt has, in any way, prepared you for motherhood. I have been a mother for some time now and I simply cannot purvey how difficult it can be on ones nerves. Everyone is always telling you what you are doing wrong. If the children are with the nurse, then you are neglecting them. If they are with you, surely you will wish they were not. Children are such taxing creatures. They always want something from you, but what have they to give? Nothing, exempting perhaps a cold. I tell you that I think all my illness these days is in large part thanks to the children. They are forever sniffling and coughing, it is ever so unbecoming. You are lucky that this will likely be your only child. Between the wet nurse and school you shall only have to care for the boy for a few years. You are only in trouble if you are having a girl. Men want sons; I do not know how the Captain would live with the disappointment of only one child and a girl, at that. " Mary carried on in this vein until she was called away by Lady Russell who read Anne's distress across the room. Unhappily this left Anne to be ambushed by Mrs. Hayter.
"Anne whatever shall I do? I am not ready for a child. What if it does not like me? What if I do not like it? What if it is ugly? There is only so much a beautiful dress can do. If the baby is not attractive then everyone will ignore me. I will be trapped in that house with old Mrs. Hayter sermonizing at me constantly. I miss Louisa, and Mother. I would even welcome a visit from Mary, at this point. I am utterly desolate."
Anne felt terrible for Henrietta. She was struggling with much of the same anxiety and could offer little advice. She tried to be reassuring, surely any child of Henrietta's would be adorable, and her family would visit often. Anne gave Henrietta all the comfort that she herself was craving. Henrietta took it as the gospel truth and wandered off happily.
After the Musgrove's left, Anne excused herself to her room. She had so much to think about. Her mind was humming with voices of uncertainty and hesitation. She wished everyday that her mother was still alive or her husband could be reached to tell her what was right. Anne wanted more than anything to not feel so alone.
It was at this moment that she felt a quickening. She smiled and rubbed her stomach absentmindedly. She was not alone. She would not be alone again until the child came. As she thought about it, she realized that the only way to ensure her child would never feel this kind of loneliness was to keep the child with her. She had felt it moving before, but it was then that she decided to start talking to it.
"So little one," She began in a soothing voice, "Would you like that? Would you like to stay with me?"
The child gave a nudge and she smiled again.
"Would you like to hear a story?" she asked. She received yet another nudge and so she picked up Fredrick's battered copy of Treasure Island. "Your father seems to think you will join his seafaring brethren when you are old enough, so now is as good a time as any to prepare you."
She began to read and the baby was not heard from again that night. Anne fell asleep book in her hands smiling. She dreamed of her daughter, a beautiful girl with long shining brown curls, her father's eyes and a penchant for trouble. The next morning she awoke still smiling. She did not need anyone to tell her what was right for her child. Anne knew that her heart had never sent her astray and so she had to start listening to that and nothing else.
Anne went to breakfast with a new confidence, which was very different from what the Admiral and Sophie had seen of late. She smiled at everyone, ate heartily, and when she was finished wandered off to the library, where she spent several hours reading Sense and Sensibility out loud. If anyone thought this was odd, they did not comment on it as they were simply happy to see Anne in good spirits again.
Time rushed by and soon it was September. Anne was packing when Sophie came looking for her.
"Anne, I just wanted to let you know what a pleasure it has been for you to stay with us."
"The pleasure was all mine, I assure you." She replied. "I have enjoyed being in my family home."
"That is what I want to talk to you about." Sophie returned. "The Admiral and I were wondering if you and Fredrick would like to take over the lease on Kellynch so that you could raise your child in the place where you grew up."
Anne thought for a moment. She loved Kellynch Hall, but it held many memories good and bad. Anne felt it best to make a fresh start.
"Thank you very much for the offer, but I do not think it is best." Anne said "I think I will wait for Fredrick to arrive in London. We should find a home where we can make memories of our own as a family."
Sophie smiled knowingly. "So you have decided to keep my niece with you then?" she asked.
"I have not discussed it with Lady Russell yet but I think it would be best for my child to stay with me." Anne said firmly.
"I am happy you came to that decision and not just because it was my viewpoint." Sophie commented. "I remember when my mother had Fredrick. He was the most handsome baby you had ever seen. She was weary, but she told me that her children were her strength. She said that seeing us every day, holding us when we needed her, gave her the more vitality than any rest, exercise or nourishment ever could. I always wanted to have that feeling, and now you have a chance to experience it. Just promise me that you will make the most of this opportunity."
"Of course," Anne replied. She did not know what else to say. Luckily Sophie always knew how to break the tension.
"And one more thing, please do not name my poor niece Sophie. I was teased mercilessly in school for it." With that she left Anne to her packing and to find a new name for the little one.
Two days later Lady Russell and Anne were off to London. They were set up in one of the best parts of town and across from a lovely little park where Anne could walk, if she felt up to it. Before they had even left for London, Lady Russell used her connections to find the very best physician in town and reserve him for the month surrounding Anne's confinement. Dr. Price came highly recommended, though he was known for implementing rather unorthodox practices, his mother and child mortality rate was exceptionally low. Anne was slightly worried about her survival but she was especially worried for what might be there only child. Dr. Price's record played majorly in his appointment.
They next order of business was to hire a nurse. Though Lady Russell did not agree with Anne about her grandchild's upbringing she decided to mind her tongue for once and lined up the best applicants in the city. Anne interviewed each one with great care, but it seemed each one was more wrong than the last. They were too authoritarian, too submissive, too distant or just too uncaring. As all the women who had applied seemed unsuitable, Anne also decided to try some of her own connections.
In the end, she hired Nurse Martin, a recommendation from Nurse Rooke and Mrs. Smith. Nurse Martin was as old as Lady Russell, with more than twenty years work experience. She was strict but caring and was often found to bring Anne a book or some other amusement when Lady Russell or Dr. Price had insisted that Anne needed to rest. She also snuck Anne the odd cup of coffee when a craving hit. Nurse Martin, was not overly superstitious, but she believed that people who with held a craving from a pregnant woman would receive bad luck.
October 12th Anne received a letter from Fredrick. It was all she could do to finish her breakfast and excuse herself politely before nearly bounding, or what was an attempt at bounding by a nine month pregnant woman, up the stairs to read her letter in private.
My darling Wife,
I know you are not one to trust your own judgment but I have every confidence that you will make the right decisions when it comes to our child. You have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known. You are already a mother to so many and do not even realize. The way you care for everyone is in a way mothering. Some women I have seen look at their children as a burden, a weight to be endured in order to please their husband and create an heir. Not you, my love, when you came to me that day I could see the love in your eyes not only for me but for the child we expect. Believe in yourself and trust the love in your heart. Know that you have taken my heart with you, and in that way, we are one. Every choice you make I am by your side trusting, supporting and believing in you. I love you, my beloved Anne, forever.
Yours Fredrick
It was exactly what she needed to hear. She read it over in her head and then a third time out loud for Winnie as she had been calling the child for the last couple of weeks. Anne was finally able to banish the last self-doubt from her mind. Fredrick trusted her. Her baby trusted her. That was all the mattered. She was beaming as she headed back down stairs to enjoy what might be one of her last chance to go outside for some time.
Three days later, Anne delivered a healthy baby girl in the mid-afternoon. Lady Russell commented that the child had the good sense not to come in the middle of the night and even managed to avoid ruining both her lunch and dinner plans. Nurse Martin remarked that Winnie was one of the most beautiful children she had ever seen.
Anne simply basked in the joy of motherhood. As much as Nurse Martin would allow her, she held little Winnie. Anne spent many hours reading to, singing to and just staring at her daughter. They were just completing yet another reading of Treasure Island when they were interrupted by a knock at her bedroom door. Nurse Martin went to answer the door.
"May I help you?" She asked the rather tall man at the door.
"I have come to see my wife and son." replied Captain Wentworth. Anne almost jumped out of bed at the sound of his voice, but she was still holding her daughter so instead she called to her husband.
"I certainly hope you are not too disappointed to meet a wife and daughter then." Anne tried to sound as if she was joking but she was still a little worried. Nurse Martin excused herself and reminded Anne to ring when she was needed.
Fredrick made his way over to the two most important people in his life.
"It is like I said she looks just like her mother, and thus I am very pleased indeed." He said as he took in his daughter's face for the first time. "Hello there, little Sophia."
"About that," Anne said with a laugh. "Apparently Sophia was teased as a child and she asked that I not curse her niece in such a way."
"Does she have a name then?" Fredrick asked, he was not looking forward to playing the name game again.
"Yes but it is not christened yet so we could change it if you are opposed." Anne replied.
"I am all suspense, what have you been calling our little girl?" He asked.
"Winnie." She returned.
"Well it is a good thing you waited for me then." Fredrick said. "What kind of name is Winnie, anyway?"
"It is a nickname for Winifred. Winifred Annabella Wentworth." She said confidently. Fredrick was shocked but incredibly delighted that his wife had thought to name their daughter after him. While some men would have disappointed with a daughter, Fredrick was actually thrilled. He had spent too much of his life surrounded by men. He was ready to sit through piano recitals, have tea parties and listen to endless stories about fairies, princesses and mermaids.
"Maybe I will call her Freddy," He asked with a smirk.
"You may call her whatever you like, but I doubt she will answer you for some time." Anne smiled back.
"You will too answer you father, will you not my little Freddy?" he said tickling her chin. She gave a sound of contentment and then she opened her beautiful baby blue eyes and gave her first real smile to her father.
It was at that exact moment that Anne knew what it was to be a family: to love, and laugh and be everything for one another. She thought back on what Sophie had told her and she knew exactly what the first Mrs. Wentworth was saying. Family was an indomitable source of strength and happiness; this was all she needed to feel invincible.