Title: Hallelujah
Author: IndigoStarNight
Feedback: Yes please
Summary: Because Iggy loved him, and always would, even if he wasn't enough for Fang.
Pairing: One-sided FangxIggy, Implied FangxMax
Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or the characters.
Spoilers: Nope
Rating: PG-13 for suicide
Warnings: Heavily implied slash, don't like don't read, and suicide.
Author's Note: Inspired by the song Hallelujah, specifically the Imogen Heap version, but stemmed from my resent obsession with Iggy committing suicide (How horrible is that?) Anyways, was written in like 15 minutes when I was bored. Hope you like, please REVIEW!
Enjoy!
Love is not some victory march,
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.
Love, in a word, sucks. Not for everybody mind, some people actually get a happily ever after. Like the people in the movies, I bet they like love. I, however, do not live in some romantic comedy, and I do not have a happy ending.
Long ago, I came to terms with who I am, from my wings, to my sightless eyes, even my sexuality. But hardest of all is coming to terms with what I'm not. I'm not enough, I'm not what he needs, and I'm not what he wants.
They didn't make any sort of announcement, and they don't act any different around the rest of us. I don't know if they're trying to keep it a secret, but it doesn't matter because I know anyway. I hear them, when they think they're alone. I may be blind, but I'm not oblivious.
I remember the day that I confessed to him. I asked to speak with him privately, and he followed me, silently expressing his curiosity in the way that only he can. When we were far enough away I stopped walking and turned to face him. He waited patiently for me to find the words, but I never did. Instead I just reached out, pulled him to me, and stole his lips.
He said nothing. He didn't push me away, but once I was done he stepped back. I waited for his reaction, but all he did was shake his head and walk away. I know he shook his head because I heard the swish of his hair, but I had already felt his rejection in the stiffness of his shoulders anyway.
Neither of us ever spoke about the night, not to each other at least. But nonetheless, my feelings for him didn't change. I cherished him, every word he spoke, every little touch as he guided me through unfamiliar places. Sometimes I wonder if those touches bothered him now that he knew; if I made him uncomfortable. But if I did, he never showed it.
Maybe that's why they didn't tell us, maybe he asked her to keep it quiet out of respect for me. If that's it, then at least I know he doesn't completely hate me. At least I know that he still cares… a little.
Unfortunately, a little just isn't enough.
I feel the wet blood trickle down to drip on the ground beneath me, and I picture his face. I imagine his voice, and in my mind plays out a different ending.
One where he hadn't shaken his head and walked away. One where he had responded to my touch and kissed me back.
An ending where I was the one he loved, not Max. Where its him I'm leaning against, not a tree. Where my hand is warm and dry in his, not covered in my own blood. An ending where love doesn't suck, and I'm not about to die.
8
It was Fang who found his body some hours later. Fang who knelt beside him and called his name. Fang who read his last words, scrawled sloppily on a scrap of paper.
Because I love you, and I always will.
It was Fang who realized, too late, as a single tear slid down his cheek, that maybe he shouldn't have shaken his head and walked away after all.
Well there was a time when you let me know,
What's really going on below,
But you never show that to me, do ya.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah.