Disclaimer: I own nothing. Killing time until the UPS delivery tomorrow..
Karma sucks. Men plan, God laughs. Merlin's irony. Whatever you wanted to call it, Hermione Granger was ready to believe it was true. While the vast majority of her life was well organized, alright, controlled chaos, the one area of her life that was completely in shambles was her relationship with the male of the species.
Oh yes, she had more pastel dress robes in her closet than any ten witches you could name. She always had the perfect toast, the perfect calming words for the nervous bride, the right charm to clean the spot on the groom's robe at the reception. Yes, she was an excellent bridesmaid.
She also was excellent at her job. Not only was she a certified Healer, but she also taught several classes and lectured when classes were not in session. She took over for Madame Pomfrey a few years ago and her genius with the medical arts made her a rising star in the Wizarding world.
She also had a lovely group of friends. She had two homes, her flat in London and her chambers at Hogwarts. She was already a godmother twice over (it never hurts to have one of the heroes of the Wizarding world looking out for your child). This however was the last straw, she was officially sick of it.
It was all a very normal day. With September 1st just around the corner, Hermione had spent the past few days in London. Shopping for supplies, enjoying time with friends, and other routine activities took a few days. She never should have allowed Tonks to take her out on the town. She knew better. Never trust someone who can literally make puppy eyes at you. You are doomed every time.
With all her other friends married and settled, Tonks was the only one who was married and unsettled; rather she was unsettled on that particular night. Hermione usually managed to spend once a month with Tonks. That night was always unique and no one would believe how Hermione Granger behaved when she was out with Tonks.
As Tonks was always in an interesting state each full moon, due to worry of course, Hermione determined they needed to have a girls' night out and get totally sloshed. The first time she said this, exactly two weeks after Tonk's marriage (yes, Hermione was a bridesmaid, fuchsia is really not her color), Tonk's snorted out juice when Hermione used the word sloshed.
In utter disbelief, Tonks decided to pursue this incredible suggestion. Thus began a monthly adventure that only the two of them knew of and that was utterly out of character for Hermione. The two would dress themselves in quite fashionable Muggle clothes with the requisite short skirts and skimpier tops. They would then go out to Muggle London and live it up for the night. It helped to distract Tonks and relax Hermione. Hermione even worked it into her contract at Hogwarts that during the academic year she have the nights of each full moon and the next mornings free. It helps when the Headmistress is exceptionally fond of you and you are a hero.
This particular full moon was unusual. Tonks was alone for the entire week as her husband was traveling for the Ministry. He was well taken care of by a few of the Order that went with him and all precautions were made. However, this meant that Tonks felt it necessary to have more than the usual amount of forgetful fun.
They began as always in Muggle clubs. It was the only place the two could blend in; they were heroes in their world after all. The women went, danced, drank, and then would normally head home to find some hangover cures and comfortable pajamas just as the sun came over the horizon.
Again, though, Tonks was more than usually worried. Thus Hermione was especially anxious to let her have her way with things. When Tonks suggested trying the new Wizard Club that opened next to the twins' shop, Hermione hesitated.
"Are you a witch or not?" Tonks hissed over the music at the Muggle disco. "A few charms will make you unrecognizable. Let's go!"
Hermione allowed herself to be dragged off towards the Leaky Cauldron. Just before they entered, Hermione found a dark alley and made a few changes. Tonks did likewise. The two were quite unrecognizable.
Tonks lengthened her hair into auburn curls that reached her waist, her eyes became deep brown, and she even managed to alter the enamel on her fingers to better match her new hair color.
Hermione did the opposite. Her long mane was charmed to just barely brushing her shoulders. It became a honey blonde and perfectly straight. Her eyes became green and she even transfigured her clothes so that there would really be no chance she would be recognizable. Her skirt and top melded into a simple black halter dress that swung just over her knees.
"Not bad," Tonks commented. "Any reason why to go blonde?"
"Well, I figured I could see if blondes really do have more fun," Hermione replied with a wink. Oh the courage that can come from being slightly inebriated.
The two entered the pub and walked through with their heads held high. A few catcalls and less than charming comments were made. Unsurprisingly those responsible found themselves with snouts or donkey tails.
"Pigs?" Tonks asked.
"Asses?" Hermione simultaneously questioned.
The two unlikely friends headed to the club. The club was, from the outside, just as ancient and unwieldy as its neighbors in Diagon Alley. The interior was all that a modern witch or wizard could hope for in a club.
Several dance floors, even more bars, a few dark corners, and the knowledge that this was the place to be seen. After realizing how difficult situations could become with drunken wizards with wands, the establishment, with the aid of the goblins, created a system to check wands at the door. This was also a way that VIWs could still have their special treatment, even in disguise.
Thus Tonks and Hermione were allowed to miss the line and head straight in doors. The two flashed each other grins, through their reasons were quite different. One did have ulterior motives; the other just was enjoying herself.
Hermione walked beside Tonks. The two headed straight for the bar and got a shot each. They were serious about their fun.
"To girls who are not what they appear," Hermione said.
Tonks smirked and the down downed the strong beverage. The barkeep looked on with appreciation. He had them pegged for something fruity or the 'just water' types. He nodded his appreciation and continued to serve the others.
The two ladies headed to the nearest dance floor and began to let loose. The wondrous thing about their nights out was that they really let themselves be free. Tonks put her worry aside until the morning. Hermione came out of her shell. They danced and laughed. Occasionally one would point out something funny or make some commentary on the people around them.
Hysterical laughter had overtaken them following a young witch throwing her butterbeer in the face of a wizard old enough to be her father. They were incapable of dancing, just hysterical convulsions at this point. They clung together to avoid falling over in the crush of dancers.
Tonks recovered first, "Let's get something more to drink."
"Fine idea. Perhaps we'll see another display of poor judgment on the part of the male of the species?" Hermione agreed.
The two walked to the same bar, it did pay to have a bond with the bar tender. This one had developed a soft spot for them in their previous three trips to the bar. They were still holding up quite well for the quantity and strength of drink they had consumed.
The two not only had caught the attention of the barkeep, but also a gentleman sitting a few stools away. As the ladies claimed seats, the wizard caught the barkeep's eye. A few minutes later two drinks were placed in front of Tonks and Hermione.
"The gentleman said that these are in appreciation of two witches who know what they are about." He inclined his head. The wizard raised his glass and smirked.
Tonks looked at Hermione. The two simultaneously quirked their eyebrows. The bartender chuckled, "You two are quite the pair."
"You have no idea," Hermione laughed. The wizard now had a more thoughtful look on his face.
"So what is a fine gentleman like you doing as a barkeep in this dive?" Tonks asked.
"Well, I actually happen to find this dive rather brilliant. But as I own it, I'm a bit biased," he quipped.
"Bloody hell, there I go again," Tonks muttered.
Hermione laughed harder. "You'll have to forgive my friend here. She has the unique ability to say exactly the most embarrassing thing when she is trying to impress someone."
The barkeep turned owner laughed. The wizard stared some more.
"Now that I've made myself ridiculous, how about you grace us with your name," Tonks suggested.
"Eddie," he said. "Nice to meet you, ladies. Might I have the pleasure of knowing your names? Two such charming young women must be named after goddesses themselves."
"Aren't you trying hard to flatter tonight?" Tonks asked. She nonchalantly picked up her glass so her wedding band was more than prominently displayed. Eddie in turn brushed some hair out of his eyes with his own left hand showing off a ring of his own.
"How she manages to do that without even speaking?" Hermione chirped as Tonks once again looked a little pink in the cheeks.
Eddie laughed. "Quite alright. Its nice to see that not only is she able to have fun, but she's loyal too. Good traits, right dear?" At this point another witch had come up to him.
"Quite right. Who are your new friends, dear?" the witch asked as she kissed her husband on the cheek.
"I was just getting to that. Ladies, I'll start off, this is Rose, the lovely nymph I married."
Here Tonks spit her drink out and it landed right on Eddie's clean robes. Rose laughed and Hermione nearly fell off the stool in her hysterics.
"You have no idea how appropriate that word choice is. You have to promise not to tell a soul who we really are," Hermione finally said as she leaned over the counter to tell Eddie and Rose their identities.
This served several purposes, only some of which Hermione was aware of at this particular moment, though all would be revealed in due course. The primary objective was that she genuinely liked these two and could use a few new friends. The second was that they were the owners and so she should be polite. The third objective was unknown to her as her movement gave a nice view to the wizard who had bought the drinks. The fourth unknown purpose was met with Eddie's comment.
"Well, that explains quite a bit. So if this charming lady is taken, you must tell me why you are still on the marriage mart." This comment earned Eddie a smack from his wife.
"Ah," the wizard thought, "she's not taken."
"Forgive him. He is about as sensitive as a shot glass," Rose shot her husband a look.
Here Tonks cracked up again. "I think a shot glass is better than a teaspoon!"
Hermione chuckled, "Trust me, that was nothing compared to the oh, so thoughtful comments my best friends would make growing up. Those two were about as dense as they could be. You know of them of course."
"True, if half the stories are true, you have good reasons to be still enjoying life and not forced to take care of an overgrown child," Rose said with a teasing look at Eddie. "I trust you're having fun?" she asked.
"Oh, yeah, this place is fantastic," Tonks answered immediately.
Hermione was unable to answer. The wizard who had bought the drinks had come up next to her.
"Care to dance?" he asked Hermione.
"Gottcha," thought Tonks.