THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY:
A PARTRIDGE IN BOOTS
(based on the fairy tale, "Puss in Boots")
There was once, in a long-ago time, a poor widow who had five children. After her husband, a merchant who was viciously attacked by a robber, died, Shirley Partridge set out with her children to find work. By and by, the Partridges arrived in the town of Kincaid. There, Lord Reuben took pity upon the family and offered them food, shelter, and employment in the fields.
Shirley Partridge and her daughters, Laurie, age 17, and Tracey, age 7, sewed and baked for Lord Reuben, who was a bachelor. Shirley's three sons, Keith, age 18, Danny, age 12, and Chris, age 9, toiled in Lord Reuben's fields. This arrangement pleased Lord Reuben and by and by he fell in love with Shirley and treated her children as if they were his own.
Although Shirley rebuffed his advances, Lord Reuben continued to take an interest in her children's welfare. While inspecting his fields one day, Lord Reuben came upon King Peter and his footman, who were traveling through the forest. They stood next to the Royal Coach, which appeared to have been in an accident.
"What's the damage, Footman?" King Peter asked.
"Just a broken wheel, Sir," the footman said. "I can have it fixed in two shakes."
"Let me be of assistance to you," Lord Reuben offered. He motioned to Danny and Chris, who were tending to a flock of sheep, to aid the footman with the repair.
"Thank you, kind Sir," King Peter said. "But that won't be necessary."
"Nonetheless," Lord Reuben said. "Let Danny and Chris help you. They are two fine boys."
King Peter agreed, although he looked quite distressed.
"Is there something the matter, Sir?" Lord Reuben asked.
"My daughter, Princess Holly, is traveling with me." King Peter said, as he motioned toward the woodland stream. "She saw a handsome young man by the stream and I'm afraid she wandered down there to find out who he is. I don't see either of them now."
"Don't worry, King Peter. I'll find your daughter," Lord Reuben said.
Lord Reuben called to Danny.
"Yes, Sir," Danny said.
"Where's Keith?" Lord Reuben asked.
"I imagine he's taking his usual swim in the woodland stream, Sir," Danny said. "Why do you ask?"
"This time he might have some unexpected royal company," Lord Reuben said as he dashed off to search for the missing Princess Holly.
Lord Reuben raced to the woodland stream. Keith enjoyed skinny dipping in the stream, and he had attracted the attention of the town's fairest maidens. None of them were royalty, however, and Lord Reuben devised a plan to protect both the princess and Keith, should they meet along the banks of the stream.
As Lord Reuben neared the stream, he encountered three maidens eagerly peering through a clump of trees at the woodland stream below.
"He's not wearing one stitch of clothing!" one maiden exclaimed. "What must that poor girl think?"
"I don't know," another maiden said. "But he certainly is delectable. I wonder who he is."
Lord Reuben observed Keith climbing out of the water, stark-naked, as Princess Holly, King Peter's exquisitely beautiful daughter, handed him his clothes. He had the look of love in his eyes, and Lord Reuben launched his scheme.
"Why girls," Lord Reuben said to the fair maidens. "That is the Marquis of Douglas, a very wealthy man indeed."
"Are you sure he is a Marquis?" a doubtful maiden asked. "The clothes he's putting on look too shabby for a marquis. I bet he's nothing more than a peasant."
The other maidens nodded their heads in agreement.
"Isn't that Princess Holly, King Peter's daughter, with him?" Lord Reuben asked. "And isn't it true that King Peter is looking for a suitable mate for his daughter?"
"'Tis true," the doubtful maiden said. "But I've been to the Royal Balls and I don't remember meeting a Marquis of Douglas. I don't think that King Peter would promise his daughter to a mere commoner, and nobility doesn't skinny dip in streams."
"Perhaps the Marquis of Douglas is traveling incognito," Lord Reuben said. "And he doesn't want people to know he is nobility."
Lord Reuben sprinted down to the stream to return Princess Holly to her father.
The next day, Lord Reuben withdrew seven gold bars from his account at the Bank of Kincaid. He brought them home and called Danny into the library of his majestic estate.
"Danny," Lord Reuben said. "I have an assignment for you."
"Yes, Sir!" Danny exclaimed as his eyes grew wide at the site of the seven gold bars. "You want me to invest these for you? There's a new stock that's supposed to triple your return. I could…"
"No. No, nothing like that," Lord Reuben interrupted. "I want you to take these bars to the palace of King Peter. You'll present one bar a day for the next seven days to the King as a gift from the Marquis of Douglas."
"The Marquis of Who?" Danny asked.
"The Marquis of Douglas," Lord Reuben said.
"Who's that?" Danny asked. "Some new nobleman?"
"You could say that," Lord Reuben said. "He's your brother, Keith."
"Keith!" Danny exclaimed. He burst out laughing. "You're gonna pass Keith Partridge off as nobility?"
"And what's wrong with that?" Lord Reuben asked. "I think Keith and Princess Holly would make a very nice couple, and he's quite smitten with her."
"I think you're crazy, Sir," Danny said. "But I'll go along with your plan."
Lord Reuben opened a desk drawer and pulled out a plumed hat, boots, a cloak and tunic.
"I want you to wear these when you visit King Peter. You'll look the dashing young cavalier in them."
Danny, now known as "Partridge in Boots," did as Lord Reuben requested. By the seventh day, King Peter was very impressed with the Marquis of Douglas. He put him on the short list of suitable mates for his daughter.
Danny reported this news to Lord Reuben.
"Splendid!" Lord Reuben exclaimed. "Now for the next part of my plan!"
Lord Reuben attended his regular Wednesday night meeting of "The Society of Lords and Lordships" and learned that King Peter and his daughter would be traveling through Kincaid the next day. He rushed home to see if Shirley, Laurie and Tracey had finished the Marquis of Douglas' costume.
"What do you think, Lord Reuben?" Laurie asked as she held up an ornate tunic and cloak.
"These are the finest garments I have ever seen," Lord Reuben said. "They will make Keith look every inch a nobleman."
"What about me?" Tracey asked as she held up a plumed hat. "I put the feathers in all by myself."
"Plumes, dear," Shirley said. "They're called plumes and you did a wonderful job."
"You certainly did," Lord Reuben said. "But what are those pieces of fruit attached to the plumes?"
"Magic cherries," Tracey said. "If Princess Holly eats just one of the cherries, she will fall madly in love with Keith."
Keith entered the room, munching on an apple.
"So even my own family doesn't think I can win the heart of Princess Holly without resorting to magic."
"That's not true, Keith," Lord Reuben said. "Your Mother and I have noticed that you've taken an interest in Princess Holly, and we just want to help you along."
"Tracey didn't mean any harm, Keith," Shirley said.
"I know, I know," Keith said sullenly. "Princess Holly is such a beautiful girl and I'm just a peasant boy. What real chance do I have with her?"
"More of a chance than you realize," Lord Reuben said.
The next day, Keith swam in the woodland stream. He climbed out of the water and found his clothes gone. In their place was the eloquent costume of the Marquis of Douglas. Keith put the clothes on quickly.
"Don't forget the hat," Chris said.
Keith placed the hat on his head and Danny kicked his shin as hard as he could.
"Ow!" Keith yelped as he grabbed his leg. "What did you do that for?"
"You're supposed to be injured, Marquis," Danny said.
"Injured, not crippled," Keith said as he limped for effect.
As the three boys walked through the forest, Keith tripped and fell over a tree root.
"What a klutz!" Danny exclaimed. "Chris, help Keith up. I'm going to go on ahead and see if King Peter has arrived."
Danny reached the clearing and spotted the Royal Coach making its way along a path. Danny ran into the path waving his arms.
"Help! Help!" Danny exclaimed. "The Marquis of Douglas has been badly injured!"
Keith and Chris had reached the clearing. Keith was nursing his left ankle.
King Peter, recognizing Danny, had the footman stop the Royal Coach. Princess Holly peered from the coach and saw Keith rubbing his ankle.
"Oh, Daddy!" Princess Holly begged. "You can't leave him here--he's been injured! Please take him to the Royal Hospital!"
As the Royal Coach raced to the Royal Hospital with an injured Keith, Princess Holly looked after Keith during the ride. She held his hat in her lap, and toyed with the magic cherries.
Keith, fearing she would eat one, embraced Princess Holly. He kissed her, and she smiled shyly.
Danny and Chris, who were riding along, blushed.
Lord Reuben had arranged for only the best doctors to take care of Keith at the Royal Hospital. One doctor refused.
"Do you know who I am, young man?" Lord Reuben asked the doctor. "I own the land that this hospital is built on."
"I don't care if you are King Peter himself," the doctor said. "Nobody gets preferential treatment, and I run this emergency room."
"No you don't," an older doctor said. "I'm still head man in this hospital and I'll decide who gets treated first. When the Marquis arrives take him into room number two."
The older doctor apologized to Lord Reuben for the younger doctor's brash behavior.
When the Royal Coach arrived at the Royal Hospital, Keith Partridge and Princess Holly had fallen completely in love. King Peter was aware of this and was quite impressed with the immediate care that Keith received in the hospital. He allowed Keith to take his daughter's hand in marriage.
Shirley Partridge had a change of heart and married Lord Reuben. Keith truly became the Marquis of Douglas and he and Princess Holly lived happily forever after in a castle owned by Lord Reuben.