A/N: This was the result another of my little half-hour breaks from packing. Fluff 'n stuff, just a little B/B and Ange/Brennan friendship cuteness. Hope you like.
"I don't know why you do that. It never works."
Angela Montenegro sighed dramatically at her friend's denseness. "I do it because it's fun. And just in case you hadn't noticed, it's not just you I do it to. I do it to everybody here."
"Where is the fun if I don't get embarrassed?"
"The fun is in trying. And one of these days, I will crack you. It's just harder, considering you don't have any shame."
Temperance Brennan didn't confirm or deny Angela's assessment, and merely smiled enigmatically. "You really find it fun to make people blush?"
"Only the most fun ever. Don't you ever try?"
Brennan thought about it. "Apparently I embarrass people all the time. But never intentionally. It just…happens. So it's not like I'm accomplishing anything"
"Yeah." Angela nodded knowingly. "That's the whole 'lack of shame' thing." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "You should really try. You wouldn't believe how satisfying it can be to get under someone's skin."
"I don't know, Ange. I'm not really good at that. It might be better for me to just stick with embarrassing people au naturel."
"Nonsense," she said firmly. "There is really an art to these things. You have to match up the level of humiliation to the specific person you are dealing with. If you go too little, it won't work: no embarrassment. If you go too much, then the person will just get mad, and that's not what you want. It's all in good fun."
Brennan looked at her friend doubtfully. "How do you know? How to match it up, that is."
Angela rolled her eyes. "You know the people around here…it's pretty easy to figure out. Take our first subject, for example." She gestured across the room to Brennan's young protégé, Zack Addy. "Now, Zack…he's just too easy. You can't be too heavy-handed with him, or he might never come back to work again. And I wouldn't go with personal stuff, either, because that might hurt his feelings."
She saw Zack finish up what he was doing and begin walking over to them. She nudged Brennan, hard. "Now's your chance. Practice!"
"Ow," she said, rubbing her shoulder where her friend shoved her. "That wasn't necessary," she hissed.
Zack met up with his colleagues, looking at them curiously. "Here's the report you wanted, Dr. Brennan. It should be ready to go."
She took the file from him. "Thank you, Zack." He started to walk away, and Angela nudged her again, more gently this time.
Oh, fine. She'd give it a try. "Hey, Zack?"
He turned. "Yes, Dr. Brennan?"
"I want you to be extra careful with your spelling on these reports, okay? On the last one, instead of writing 'ulna,' you wrote 'vulva.' I know it's easy to get…distracted…but these reports need to be accurate and professional. Got it?"
The young doctor turned five shades of red, and both women could see him struggle to swallow the horror rising through his body at the thought that his sexual desires had been sublimated into his scientific report. "Uh…yes…I'm so sorry…won't happen again…just a typo…I'll be more careful."
It took all of their energy to hold back their laughter until Zack jetted from the room.
"Oh my God, Brennan." Angela fanned herself as she tried to control her giggles. "You are a natural. That was perfect." She finally managed to contain herself, then looked at her friend in the eye. Then, she burst out again: "Vulva!" She collapsed in giggles.
"It wasn't that funny," Brennan scolded. Then, after a second of thought—"Okay. It was pretty funny."
"See, I told you! Doesn't it just make you feel all happy inside?"
She shrugged, but was smiling.
"Alright. We need to up the ante here." Angela searched the room for the next victim. Her eyes lit up when she saw, like a gift from Heaven, Seeley Booth walking through the sliding doors of the Jeffersonian.
"There we go!" She grabbed her friend's arm. "Now, he might be a tougher nut to crack."
Brennan followed Angela's eyes. "Booth?" She shook her head. "No, he's easy. All I have to do is say something about sex."
"No," Ange whispered. "It can't just be 'something about sex.' If you overdo it, he'll just shut down and won't say anything at all. You have to make it a little personal. Set a trap."
She laughed. "This seems kind of manipulative, Ange."
"Exactly." Her friend's eyes twinkled. "You're learning to play the game."
Booth caught sight of his partner on the platform. "Bones! We have a suspect to question. Let's go!"
She looked at the artist, exasperated. She hated being ordered around, and Booth knew that.
"Hey, Booth? Come up here for a second."
Looking slightly irritated, he ran up the stairs, taking a few at a time. "What's up, Bones? We gotta get back to headquarters."
She looked at him blankly for a second, the wheels in her head turning. "I was just wondering something…"
"Yeah?" He looked at his watch, impatiently.
It came to her like a lightening bolt. She tilted her head and looked at him slyly. "I was wondering…if we were having sex, what would you call me?"
Booth's eyes widened. He swallowed hard as he looked at her disbelievingly. Angela immediately turned her back to them so he wouldn't see her amused expression.
"Um…do you mean…in general? Or…during the act?"
"During the act. As in, we're having sex, and you scream out my name…what would you call me? Would you call me 'Bones' then?"
His jaw fell open, and he quickly corrected it, snapping it shut. "Uh…well, geez, Bones, I don't know…I'd have to think about it…" Suddenly, he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head rapidly. "Just wait…no I'm not going to think about it. For God's sakes, Bones. What's wrong with you?"
She didn't answer, just kept looking at him with her half-smile. Angela's shoulders were shaking.
He crossed his arms and looked at her indignantly. "Well, great job. Now I have to think about it. Are you happy?" He turned on his heels. "I'll meet you in the car," he called back, practically stomping out the door.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Angela collapsed on the floor, laughing. The other employees of the Jeffersonian looked over at them inquisitively.
"That…was…brilliant," she said, gasping for breath between words and giggles. "Seriously…I've never been more convinced of your genius than I am right now. It was the perfect trap."
Brennan laughed lightly. "Yeah well…you're not the one who has to sit in the car with him, while he pouts."
Wiping tears from her eyes, Angela held out her hand so Brennan could help her up. "There's a difference between pouting and fantasizing, Sweetie."
Pulling her up, Brennan rolled her eyes. "Well, I have to go Ange. I'm so happy that I've finally earned your respect today."
"You didn't just earn it…but you increased it a lot. You and I, my dear…we're going to have so much fun together from now on. Now that you've felt the pure joy of getting under someone's skin…you're not going to be able to stop."
"We'll see. It was a fun experiment, at least."
"You're my hero, Sweetie," Angela called as her friend left the building. She smiled at her retreating figure. She could only hope that she had created a monster.
They were driving back to the Jeffersonian after interviewing their suspect. "I don't know, Booth. Your theory seems promising. But I'm going to have to refrain from offering my opinion until we have more reports on the physical evidence. Until we have that…we really have nothing."
"Of course we don't. God forbid you actually trust my instincts on anything," he griped.
She looked at him meaningfully. "You're still mad about me embarrassing you earlier."
"You didn't embarrass me."
"I'm not that ignorant of people, Booth. You were embarrassed."
He didn't answer, and they rode the next few minutes in silence. She decided to just let him sulk in peace.
"Your real name."
She was surprised by the sound of voice. "What?"
"Your real name. If we were having sex. I wouldn't call you 'Bones.'" He glanced over at her.
"Okay…" she said slowly. Why was her face suddenly so hot?
"That's what you asked, right?"
"Yeah…" She didn't know what to say. The part about embarrassing him came easy. The part where he was actually honest with her…she hadn't been expecting that.
He sensed her discomfort, and grinned for the first time that day. "Did I just embarrass you, Bones?"
"No," she said indignantly.
"Like a wise person once told me about two minutes ago…I'm not that ignorant about people."
She crossed her arms, her face flushed. Apparently, Angela had been wrong about one thing…somewhere, deep inside her, she did have shame.
"Angela's got a little more to teach you about the art of embarrassment, Bones. You're missing the key component: If you're going to dish it out, you've gotta be able to take it, too."
She stared out the window for awhile considering this. After a few minutes, she turned back to him.
"My real name, huh?"
He nodded at her.
"Hmm. Well…that would be refreshing." She looked over at him and gave him a small smile. "That's…nice. Thanks."
He smiled back. Once more, they were on equal footing. "It's not like a favor. But…you're welcome."
So, there were a few kinks to work out of this embarrassment stuff. She never was good at art. But, maybe in the process of practicing, she would learn a little more about her friends, and herself. And that would make it almost worth the potential discomfort that this world opened up.
A/N: I luuurve reviews. I will be your new best friend if you review. And I hope to have lots and lots of friends!