I had a crush.
Of course, everyone knew that. People thought I went after practically every guy
that glanced in my direction. It was a joke to some, though most didn't care.
The point is, it was known; I had a crush.
What people didn't know was who I had my crush on.
I hadn't even told Poromon. I hadn't even admitted it to myself. I'd been
thinking that maybe if I ignored it long enough, maybe if I went chasing after
enough guys, I'd forget about the particular . . . feelings . . . I got.
I didn't, though.
"Kari, can I see your digivice for a moment?"
"Sure."
It hadn't helped that we were both Digidestined, working side-by-side. Kari was
in the fifth grade; it was a wonder that I even knew her name before this all
happened. It helped even less that we were partners for DNA digivolution. I
could at least get annoyed with her before that, with her . . . girlishness,
basically. I could pass her off as a flake. But not after getting in her mind,
sharing her emotions.
I wonder if Davis and Ken ever had that problem.
"Here, you can have it back, now."
"Thanks. What did you do?"
"Nothing much; I'm just trying to get a grasp on how different each of our
digivices are from one another. I'll also have to ask Izzy to borrow his; it'd
be helpful to know how the old Digivices compare to our D-3s."
"Oh, okay."
I was falling for her, despite my better judgment. If the feeling in my chest
when I looked at her wasn't enough proof, the random flashbacks to that moment
when we'd fallen out of the Digiport and she'd coincidentally fallen into my
arms
was
.
I couldn't delude myself anymore . . . no matter how badly I wanted to.
Kari shifted from foot to foot during the next couple of minutes. Someone had
taken all of the chairs before we'd gotten there; I had the only one that they'd
missed. It had to be uncomfortable for her, but I needed the chair for my
concentration. Yeah. Like I was concentrating much, anyway.
"Not to say that this isn't exciting, but I really need to get home and do
my homework," she said, finally breaking the silence. "I'll see you
later, Yolei."
"I . . . "
She turned back toward me. "What is it, Yolei?"
My heart failed me; the way she was looking at me . . . I . . .
"It's nothing," I lied. "Really."
"If you say so . . ." she said, turning toward the door again, opening
it. "See you tomorrow."
"You, too," I said.
She left.
Stupid! I can't even tell a girl what I feel to her face? Just because of
what she might think? That isn't like you, Yolei!
Still . . . she'd look at me weirdly. We'd be separated, on different sides
of a wall. We may not even be able to DNA digivolve anymore . . .
The heart will always find a way, though. Hasn't watching your soaps taught
you anything? Maybe . . .
No,
I thought decisively.
It's really best this way.
The computer room was suddenly too small, too emotionless. I stood up, and
walked out the door. I needed some air, and I wasn't going to get it in there.
Silently, I left.
Of course, everyone knew that. People thought I went after practically every guy
that glanced in my direction. It was a joke to some, though most didn't care.
The point is, it was known; I had a crush.
What people didn't know was who I had my crush on.
I hadn't even told Poromon. I hadn't even admitted it to myself. I'd been
thinking that maybe if I ignored it long enough, maybe if I went chasing after
enough guys, I'd forget about the particular . . . feelings . . . I got.
I didn't, though.
"Kari, can I see your digivice for a moment?"
"Sure."
It hadn't helped that we were both Digidestined, working side-by-side. Kari was
in the fifth grade; it was a wonder that I even knew her name before this all
happened. It helped even less that we were partners for DNA digivolution. I
could at least get annoyed with her before that, with her . . . girlishness,
basically. I could pass her off as a flake. But not after getting in her mind,
sharing her emotions.
I wonder if Davis and Ken ever had that problem.
"Here, you can have it back, now."
"Thanks. What did you do?"
"Nothing much; I'm just trying to get a grasp on how different each of our
digivices are from one another. I'll also have to ask Izzy to borrow his; it'd
be helpful to know how the old Digivices compare to our D-3s."
"Oh, okay."
I was falling for her, despite my better judgment. If the feeling in my chest
when I looked at her wasn't enough proof, the random flashbacks to that moment
when we'd fallen out of the Digiport and she'd coincidentally fallen into my
arms
was
.
I couldn't delude myself anymore . . . no matter how badly I wanted to.
Kari shifted from foot to foot during the next couple of minutes. Someone had
taken all of the chairs before we'd gotten there; I had the only one that they'd
missed. It had to be uncomfortable for her, but I needed the chair for my
concentration. Yeah. Like I was concentrating much, anyway.
"Not to say that this isn't exciting, but I really need to get home and do
my homework," she said, finally breaking the silence. "I'll see you
later, Yolei."
"I . . . "
She turned back toward me. "What is it, Yolei?"
My heart failed me; the way she was looking at me . . . I . . .
"It's nothing," I lied. "Really."
"If you say so . . ." she said, turning toward the door again, opening
it. "See you tomorrow."
"You, too," I said.
She left.
Stupid! I can't even tell a girl what I feel to her face? Just because of
what she might think? That isn't like you, Yolei!
Still . . . she'd look at me weirdly. We'd be separated, on different sides
of a wall. We may not even be able to DNA digivolve anymore . . .
The heart will always find a way, though. Hasn't watching your soaps taught
you anything? Maybe . . .
No,
I thought decisively.
It's really best this way.
The computer room was suddenly too small, too emotionless. I stood up, and
walked out the door. I needed some air, and I wasn't going to get it in there.
Silently, I left.