CHAPTER 1
Deep, dark, and oppressive, shutting out the world and becoming more and more lost within himself, that was Hawke's attitude toward everything lately and had been since Dante's death not too long ago. He felt it was his fault, his broken promise, that caused her death. If only he had been faster, gotten there just a little sooner…
Caitlin watched daily business go by muted by her own thoughts. Nothing unusual happening, Dom had a reasonably full schedule but nothing outrageous, enough to keep them busy though, and off Dante's death.
Dom and Saint John were currently working on a movie stunt this afternoon and had left her and String to take care of things back at the hangar. It was more like only her though. Le was up at the library doing some research for a school project, Chance taking a nap, and String - well String was being his typical self - brooding and blaming himself for what just had to be all his fault.
Come to think of it, he hadn't even been up in one of the choppers, other than the trips to and from the cabin, since then. She wasn't sure she wanted him to be either though. Up alone to just fly and sort through things himself, that would probably be the best medicine for him, assuming he didn't decide his own life was worthless, only getting others needlessly hurt or killed, and decide to bury the chopper in the ground, himself included. Maybe it would be better if he worked things out down here on earth, not that if he really wanted to do himself in there weren't plenty of ways, but she would be able to keep a better eye on him down here.
What disconcerting thoughts, she mused to herself. She didn't marry some suicidal maniac, so why was she treating him like one? She knew exactly why; and yes, her actions and thoughts were a little off the deep end, but he hadn't exactly done much to change those conceptions either, didn't seem to care what she thought, didn't seem to care about much of anything.
"Hey String, what'd you want for lunch?" Caitlin asked. "I thought, with the boss gone, maybe we could get something special." Honestly she wasn't even all that hungry, but he had hardly touched food of any sort since coming back from that dreaded mission.
"Whatever," he replied absently, "not particularly hungry."
"No, of course you aren't," she muttered back.
He didn't hear, or chose to ignore, her snide remark though.
Something simple like sandwiches would suffice, then at least she wouldn't spend bunches of time on food he wasn't going to eat anyways.
\A/
Metro Police Station
Van Nuys Area
California
2:33 pm
Officer Renaulds picked up the continuously ringing phone and muttered some semblance of a grouchy 'hello,' or more accurately 'what do you want?'
"Officer," a cool laid back voice addressed casually. "I want you to listen and I want you to listen close cause I'm only going to say this once. The police force is a bit lax, and I think it would pretty easy to cause some major disasters and you wouldn't do much about it. I'm giving you a chance to redeem yourselves though. I'm giving you a chance to prove me wrong, if you catch me, you can book me for a good long time, but you have to catch me first."
Renaulds rolled his eyes, inwardly laughing at this kid who thought it would be funny to prank the police, getting the whole city in an uproar over nothing. Another harmless joke, that's all this was.
"A bus will blow, flames will grow, now be warned because now you know."
"Kid, enough with the stupid rhymes. I have a job to do."
"Remember, you've been warned."
Renaulds dropped the phone receiver back on the hook, annoyed that his break had been interrupted by some kid, it was funny though to watch how they thought they could get the police all in a tizzy from some meaningless threats.
\A/
"Hawke, eat it."
"Don't want it."
"Please," Caitlin pleaded, "you're skin and bones, and you'd probably feel better if you ate something."
"I'm just tired, and did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't want to feel better? Why should I? I killed her Cait, because of me another innocent person is dead."
"It's not your fault, String. None of us could do anything else, we got out there as soon as we could-"
"She shouldn't have ever gone missing in the first place. I promised her…"
"That you would do all you could to help her," Caitlin finished, "and you did."
"No, if it were you, I wouldn't have left you alone and you know it. Because of my negligence she's dead. Don't bother trying to convince me otherwise because it would just be lie."
Caitlin threw up her hands, not knowing what else to do. What did you do with a stubborn Stringfellow Hawke that refused to listen to reason?
What could she do?
Hopefully time would ease the pain, but each time he would go deeper and deeper inside himself. If he kept this up eventually he would dig himself in so deep no one would be able to get him out. She hoped and prayed it would never come down to that, but he sure was doing his darndest to make sure it did.