Thomas the Tank Engine: UNCUT
Episode 3: Psycho Engines
Disclaimer: For the last flipping time, I don't own Thomas the flaming Tank Engine!!!
One day on the island of Sodor, the engines were going to be given some new coal. It was strange imported coal from Japan, but it was all that was available because of the economy crisis crap.
One morning, the engines were being given the new coal. "I wonder what will be so different about this particular coal?" wondered Thomas.
"I don't know," replied Percy. "We'll just have to wait and see."
Soon all the engines had been given the new type of coal. Suddenly after 3 minutes, Thomas started to have an evil red glow in his eyes. It looked as if his eyes were on fire.
"Thomas, are you OK?" asked his fireman.
"MUST…KILL…CHILDREN!!!" Thomas roared.
Thomas blasted out of the shed at high speed, continuing down the main line. He saw a yellow school bus on a level crossing ahead. But he didn't stop. Suddenly guns and rocket launchers and jet engines came out of him like in Transformers. The children looked out of the bus window and screamed in terror. Thomas fired his rocket launchers at the bus, blowing it up. He sped through the flames, laughing evilly. He continued to blow up everything in sight, until he saw a bridge that was closed for repairs in front of him. Thomas crashed through the sign, fell off the bridge and exploded.
Later that day, Percy had to deliver some mail to a nearby town. "I hope nothing strange happens to me." he thought. That's when he saw a cheese factory across the road from the tracks.
Percy just couldn't resist. "CHEEEEESE!!!" he cried. Now I know engines have to follow tracks, but Percy didn't care. He just drove off the tracks himself onto the busy road.
"Percy, STOP!" yelled his driver. "How can you move onto a road with no tracks?!"
"F(bleep) the tracks!" replied Percy. Cars swerved out of Percy's way, crashing into nearby buildings, mangled bodies everywhere.
Percy broke through the factory doors, and began to cause havoc in the factory. Factory workers tried to stop him, but had to run out of the way so they didn't get run over. Just then Wallace from Wallace and Gromit jumped in front of Percy.
"You're not getting my precious cheese!" shouted Wallace. But Percy just ran him over.
"AAAARGH!!!" cried Wallace as he was crushed by Percy's wheels, blood splattering everywhere. It was quite messy.
Meanwhile, the Fat Controller was on the phone in his office. He had received many complaints about engines going psycho.
"So, Thomas destroyed a school bus killing 53 children, Percy tried to eat all the cheese in a cheese factory resulting in 78 casualties including 69 in car accidents, Gordon didn't stop at the last station on the line and went through the wall at 100mph killing 196 passengers and 45 people in the station, TOBY RAN OVER A VICAR, AND JAMES CRASHED WHILE IN THE STEELWORKS KNOCKING 5 WORKERS INTO A VAT OF WROUGHT IRON????!!!!!!!" he roared into the telephone.
"THAT BRINGS THE BODY COUNT TO 447!!! ON MY RAILWAY!! I WON'T HAVE IT!! I'M GOING TO TELL THOSE BLOODY JAPANESE PEOPLE NOT TO OFFER ME THEIR FANCY COAL AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!"
The Fat Controller slammed down the phone.
THE END
P.S: No offence to Japanese people. Japanese are the coolest and they're really polite.