Satirical Self Insertation (for all those naive people)
Ok its only part satire, mostly humour
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Danni and Kate were sitting in front of the TV. Much like all 16 year old do because none of them have lives or do homework. Danni's the short, sarcastic, down to earth one and Kate's the blond, optimistic, naïve one, got that?
Both girls were watching the ever popular Anime: Naruto. Because Kate was a fan girl and Danni couldn't be bother to reach the remote and change channel.
"Wouldn't it be so cool to be a ninja," Kate sighed watching as Sasuke stood up to Haku with his Sharingan active. Danni looked at her friend and snorted.
"No"
"How can you say that???" gasped Kate highly offended and ready to defend her precious show in seconds.
"Open mouth and speak. Could you get me a Coke, I want to drown my sorrows in caffeine." From experience Danni knew that Kate could speak for months about the greatness of Naruto and arguing was a waste of time and effort.
"Why are you drowning your sorrows?"
"Because then I can forget my friend is a fan girl"
"Why not Red Bull?"
"Do you know where taurine comes from?" asked Danni, she had found out where it came from. Even if most of the time it was synthetic it was still weird.
"No, where?" asked Kate, eyes wide, ready to learn something new.
"Look it up," said Danni as she turned back to the TV in time to see Sasuke become a human pin cushion. Kate left to get the bottle, she had practically memorised the episodes but she still loved watching them.
The world seemed to swirl in front of the TV as Kate walked back into the room with Danni's Coke. Danni of course was looking at it with disinterest. Kate gasped and almost dropped the bottle. The TV sparked out as the swirl grew and Kate did drop the bottle only for it to be caught by Danni who opened it and took a long gulp.
"If you would stop gawping I want to see what happens next," said Danni acting as if there wasn't a huge vortex of colour in front of the TV.
"Can't you see the swirly thing?" asked Kate her eyes glued to the swirl. Danni rolled her eyes.
"I'm trying not to"
"Let's see where it goes," suggested Kate, she was bouncing slightly where she stood.
"Let's not, I don't want to die, which is what we'll both end up doing and you know it"
"But it could lead to the Naruto world" whined Kate, to her the choice was obvious.
"All the more reason not to. What if it doesn't, what if we get stuck in some other show like Pingu?"
"But the TV was on Naruto so it must go to Naruto" Kate protested. She reached for the swirl. Danni sighed, if Kate did something stupid, chance were she would have to make sure she stayed alive. Kate took a step back and then a flying leap at the swirl. Danni watched in fascination as Kate did not smash into he TV as she had initially thought (and hoped).
"Why do you have to do this?" asked Danni aloud. She got up from her spot by the sofa and inspected the swirl. She took a swig of her Coke and stepped through.
The ride was not the most pleasant and it wasn't one Danni would like to have experienced and never wanted to experience again. She was deposited about six foot in the air and the ground was hard.
She learnt first hand about gravity and acceleration due to gravity.
"We're in a forest Danni! A magical forest of hope and wonder," squealed Kate excitedly, Naruto was mainly set in a forest. She, of course, was oblivious to the glare she was getting from Danni.
"No… fecking… duh." Danni went to take another drink from her bottle only to find it absent. Looking around revealed no sign of it.
"The fecking vortex stole my Coke. Bastard!" Danni shook a fist as the air where the vortex had been, vowing revenge. She heard Kate squeal and her vow of revenge only became more serious.
"Look! Someone's coming"
"Maybe it's a ninja," was Danni's sarcastic input. Seconds later they were blinded by a set of blindingly bright shiny teeth.
"Yosh! What do we have here? Two damsels in distress" declared the man, who was dressed in green spandex behind him were three small people, one was an identical clone, the other two look like girls to Danni but Kate knew other wise.
"Make that one. I'm not distressed," said Danni airily, she flopped back onto the ground resting her head on her arms and closed her eyes. When she opened them she expected to be back home, sitting by the sofa, with a plate of cold pizza in front of her.
"Ooh, ooh. Pick me, I'm distressed." Danni sighed, some hope.
"You will be if you don't stop being such a tweenager with a crush," Danni muttered.
"What was that my youthful friend?" boomed the older guy.
"If you don't shut up and let me stay calm then I will insert your foot inside of your rectal cavity," said Danni calmly. She could almost hear the confused look on their faces.
"Gai-sensei, what is a rectal cavity?" From the wording being similar to the old guy Danni assumed it was the mini-him.
"You will find out on your own"
"Hey, don't shield the kid, he has the right to know. The rectal cavity is where the stick is placed in the girly person," said Danni, she really wished she still had her Coke.
"Danni! They're only thirteen!" reprimanded Kate.
"I found out what a rectal cavity was at ten," Danni shrugged. "And in case you didn't understand, it's your ass"
"How unyouthful of you to insult someone"
"Don't you have someone else to bother?"
"Danni! Could you direct us to Konoha?" asked Kate politely. She kept glaring at Danni who was looking unconcernedly at the sky.
"We are headed that way, it would be an honour to escort y…"
"Directions are fine" Danni cut in getting up from the ground. Her sanity would get lost on the way if she was 'escorted'.
"But it is unsafe…" the short green person began.
"That has yet to stop me"
"That doesn't mean you should," came a new voice from behind them.
"Kakashi! My eternal rival! How hip of you to arrive in the middle of this encounter"
"If I had my way it would be the end," muttered Danni, Kate was looking star struck. Kakashi just looked up from his book.
"Hm, did you say something?"
"It's rude to not pay attention when someone's talking to you old man," said Danni scolding the jounin.
"Danni, this is Kakashi Hatake, the one who copied a thousand justus" Kate hissed.
"The ladies have heard of you my rival! I must do one thousand push ups so I too may be recognised by these ladies," declared the green person. Kate sighed in awe, anyone who could do that could obviously protect them.
"You do that, in the mean time I will be taking my leave," said Danni and she headed for the trees.
"As much as I hate to admit it but I agree with Gai, you shouldn't be out on your own," mused Kakashi in a condescending tone that made Danni scowl.
"Ok, I'll go find someone… Hello Mr Leaf, you'll protect me." Said Danni holding up a leaf from the floor.
"You're a weird kid" Kakashi commented in an amused tone. Danni scowled.
"So is your mom"
"Danni, I don't think they understand 'yo mom' jokes" said Kate, and she was the immature one.
"It was an insult about your parents, how hard is it to understand?" Danni asked, it seemed obvious to her.
"Why did you even come if all your going to do is piss off everyone"
"Someone has to make sure you don't die, get pregnant, injured too badly or all of the above. Since no one else stepped up to the plate I thought what the hell"
"Where are you two from anyway?" asked Kakashi in his unique, 'I really couldn't care less about the answer but have to ask anyway' way.
"I blame you for that question," Kate said glaring at Danni. Danni just shrugged, she wasn't fussed about this. She was still a bit sour that the stupid vortex had stolen her bottle of life juice.
"We're from a place we like to call home," was Danni's answer. She could see Kakashi evaluating the answer.
"Are you two ninjas?" Kate was almost bouncing around, to her this meant Kakashi thought she was a ninja.
"No, we're just two smart arse kids wandering around like vagabonds," Danni said before Kate said anything stupid. Like saying 'yes' as if they were ninjas. Kakashi raised a sceptical eyebrow.
"What? You think were ninjas? Come on she can barley walk without tripping over, I'm to apathetic to even consider it," Danni didn't see Kate leap at her until she was getting crushed by the slightly annoyed girl.
"See, I couldn't even be bother to dodge that" Danni stood up causing Kate to fall off her.
"All the more reason you should have an escort"
"Danni please can we go? Please. Pretty please with uh… um… oh crap… uh. How about I'll not bug you?" Danni gave Kate a deadpan look.
"Was that supposed to persuade me to do anything?"
"Please can we go?"
"I'm not stopping you"
"You have to go too" Kate whined, she didn't want to go on her own, it would be boring having no one else who know about the situation
"I don't have to do anything," Danni pointed out causing Kate to snarl at her.
"You are so childish"
"Blame the coke stealing vortex"
"You're still upset about that?"
"Of course not, it's not like I actually like drinking the stuff," Danni hissed sarcastically.
"How about if you let us go to the village I'll find the most caffeinated drink for you"
"And how do you expect to pay for it dumbass" Danni asked.
"Must you burst my bubble?" Kate grumbled pouting.
"Yes, it's in my job description"
"You have a job?" Danni looked to Kakashi who had asked the innocent question. They had been so caught up in their discussion that they had forgotten about the ninjas.
"Looking after my delusional friend here," Danni explained, "it doesn't pay well but I have nothing better to do" she said shrugging.
"Thanks" Kate complained sarcastically.
"So it's settled, we'll accompany you to Konoha," Gai boomed standing in a weird pose. Both Danni and Kate would agree that the waves that had appeared behind him were scaring.
"Wait, when did we agree this?" Danni asked alarmed.
"Just go with it," Kate pleaded.
"I suppose it could have been worse, we could have ended up in Twilight"
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Moral of chapter: Anything is better than Twilight
OR
Team seven isnt the only team that the OC's can meet
Or even
OC's dont always agree with each other, they do fight