Possible short story (but I might add more chapters if you guys want) that I thought of randomly, because let's be honest, we all kinda wish that no one had died. I DO NOT ONE THE OUTSIDERS! Oh, and I had thought of writing this before, but I didn't really know what to write, but anyways! Enjoy!

Ten days.

That's how long Ponyboy had lasted without waking up screaming.

He had really been trying his best, and he was somewhat proud of himself. The other nights he had been awoken by his own whimpers, and sometimes he had fallen out of bed. Other times, he had been shaken awake by Darry. But not by Sodapop anymore. Soda would give him unwanted looks and turn his back. It didn't really hurt him anymore.

Pony was really close to moving back into his old room. At least if he moved back there, he wouldn't have to dread waking up like he always did.

It had happened so rarely. Of course, the doctors said that it was normal for him to get more nightmares. After all, he had been there when both of his friends had died.

They happened so rarely; once in a blue moon.

But that day, something was off. He could feel it in his bones. He could just feel it, he could sense it. Something was off. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling really, because a lot had been off since they had died. But it was something different.

It was a Monday. And everyone hated Mondays. Pony hated them so much, because Mondays were when the Socs would regain their strength from over the weekend and bother him.

He didn't have Steve or Two-Bit to help him anymore. He didn' have Johnny either, so now Pony hated Mondays with all his being.

So, it was a Monday. The early mornings of another boring and agonizing day. It was around 5 a.m, when he yelped that night. And when he did, he regretted it immediately.

He hadn't meant to wake anyone up, but he really couldn't help it. The nightmares were getting worse. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Johnny, all burned up -skin scorched and peeling- weak, as the life was sucked right out of him. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Dally, desperate and scared as he crumpled under the street light with holes spewing blood out of his chest.

Even as he saw Sodapop jump out of bed, and give him an angry glare, it didn't really hurt. Not as much as it would've felt before anyone would have died. Not as much as it hurt when they did die.

It had left a gaping hole in him. In everyone.

So it really didn't hurt.

Or so he forced himself to believe.

Darry comforted him more than Sodapop now. Darry understood at least. More than Soda seemed to care now a days. But recently, these days, no one seemed to care.

Except Darry maybe. But that was because he had to take care of two brothers and he had to work to be able to keep them.

Two-Bit didn't care. He drowned himself in his liquor to the point where he wasn't him anymore. To the point where he couldn't even remember his name. His nickname or real one. He was the angry type of drunk, that threw bottles and yelled and he was the type you didn't want to be around. And sometimes, it reminded Pony of Johnny's dad. Pony kept away from him now.

Steve, you could say had gotten meaner. The fights with his father were taking the toll on him, but when Johnny and Dally had died, he got angry, like Dally. Except, at least Dally showed some compassion and didn't snap at everything. Dally had only snapped at everything and everyone when he got really angry. But Steve was always angry now. There wasn't a time where you didn't see the anger that blazed in his eyes. Ponyboy stayed away from him.

Oh and Soda. Poor Soda. He didn't talk much these days. The happiness and joy that once used to emit from his eyes, were now gone. Johnny, Dally, and Sandy had taken all of him when they left.

So now, he was just another person that had no purpose. That's what Pony thought Soda thought of himself now anyways.

Darry was Darry. Pony had understood that if they hadn't fought in the first place, if he had followed Darry's rules not to stay out late, if he hadn't fallen asleep; Johnny and Dally wouldn't be dead.

Darry tried to make Pony see that it wasn't his fault, but deep down, deep within his heart, Pony knew that it was his fault. And it hurt more than anyone could imagine.

Darry, you could say had gotten less strict. They had bonded, that's for sure.

Pony understood that what Darry had all done before, was because he had loved him. Pony blamed himself for being so dense not to have realized it sooner.

Oh, if only he had realized it sooner . . .

So even as Pony slowly got up, reassuring Darry that everything was alright and there was no need to worry, he was thankful.

Thankful that he and Darry had gotten close, because now Darry was the only one he had left. He was the only sane one now.

And boy, it was painful.

Painful seeing Two-Bit getting thrown into jail for disrupting the public as he was dragged, hissing and spitting and cursing -if they hadn't died, he probably would've slung his arm over the police officer and had a nice and sarcastic conversation with him. He would've even smiled.

It was painful seeing Steve snap at everything. From the nice light of the sky as it shone down, to a nice girl walking by him. The old Steve would've probably cursed the sun for giving him a sunburn in a funny way, and he probably would've smirked at the girl and asked for her number, even if he was still with Evie. But now, just like Pony did. Evie kept away.

Oh and it was even more painful with Soda. Pony's own brother. It was painful to see . . . even see him, as he walked around, with his head hung low. Even when Sandy had left, he hadn't been this depressed. And it was strange. Truly strange, that his happy go lucky brother that once used to laugh at a butterfly passing by, now looked at the days ahead like he wasn't happy that he was also alive.

It hurt so bad, that Pony wished he forgot everything.

X X X

"Hey Pony can you ask Soda if he wants any chicken?" Darry asked as he served himself a plate. "I just wanted to know before I eat everything."

Darry had gotten home late. Again.

Soda had finished up work and holed himself up in his room. Again.

And Pony had tried to finish his homework, yet failed to do so, because his mind was wandering off. Again.

Pony nodded glumly. He didn't want to see his brother. He knew that he wouldn't even respond, but it didn't hurt to try. And what would happen, if he didn't listen to his brother? Would something else happen? There was no way in hell that Pony was taking any chances. No siree.

"Hey Soda," Pony called out sadly from the door. "Darry wanted to know if you wanted to eat. He made chicken. Again."

Even before he made his way up the creaky stairs, Pony knew that answer.

He was met by silence. Yet again.

It made him angry to be honest

"Well if you're hungry, the food is in the fridge." Pony sighed and shut the door.

Ponyboy just lingered upstairs, occasionally going back from 'his' room to Soda's room. That was until he got bored. He walked down the stairs as slowly as he could, but even as he reached the kitchen, he found that Darry was still there.

Darry was reading a newspaper.

And when Pony walked in, he got up and opened the cupboard.

"Don't forget to take your pills." Darry said and handed him the pill bottle. "Did you forget to take them this last night?"

"Yeah," Pony lied. "I forgot. That's why I woke up screaming."

Darry nodded. "I should have figured." He lay a hand on his shoulder. "But it's okay. Don't sweat about it. Everyone forgets things."

Pony only nodded.

Pony didn't want to tell Darry that the pills weren't helping anymore. If he didn tell him, then Darry would go out of his way and buy more, expensive ones. Pony didn't want Darry wasting his money on him. So he lied.

"I think I'll take two for tonight okay? Just to make sure." Pony said.

"Just don't take more than two okay? You know what happened last time." Darry replied sternly.

Of course, who could forget last time? The last time Darry hadn't supervised Pony's intake of pills, he had nearly killed himself.

Pony hadn't wanted to die of course. It was just that the pills weren't working, and the nightmares kept coming back.

But now he always forced himself awake before he screamed. Today, however had been unexpected.

"I'll start sleeping in my own room from today on okay Darry?"

Darry gave him this look. Pony knew Darry was worried about him, but he didn't say anything. "Okay. Okay, just . .. maybe Soda will be against it."

"No, he probably won't mind. After all," Ponyboy paused. "It's already time. I'm getting older."

Darry nodded slowly. "Okay."

That night, Soda didn't even acknowledge Pony as he told him the news and removed his sketchbook. Pony convinced himself that he was sleeping. Yeah, that's what it's gotta be. He thought. He didn't hear me.

Pony knew better, but he ignored that sickening feeling that began to creep up his throat again.

So as Pony lay uncomfortably on his old bed, he looked up at the ceiling.

Oh boy, what a life.

But it was a life all of them had to get used to.

He wasn't so sure, he wanted that.

Okay, I might update this regularly or stop for a very long time. This is something I would like to do in my free time . . .