Hello, fellow fanfic authors! This is a Mario Kart-inspired Smash Bros fanfic requested by Wyvernsaurus. I do hope you enjoy it. Please read, review, and enjoy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Smashers, Start Your Engines!
"Welcome to the Fourth Annual Smasher Race!" Master Hand announced to a cheering crowd. It was a yearly tradition that Master Hand held here at the Smash Mansion. It was Mario's idea. Once a year, Master Hand would hold a race similar to the kart races Mario had back in his world. People from each universe would participate in the race. The winner would receive a random prize. Sometimes it's money, other times it's a cruise ship vacation. It was a way for the smashers to come together other than brawling all the time. The racetracks usually took place in one universe, but Crazy hand decided to spice things up a bit, taking random bits from each universe and throwing them together to make one unpredictable scenario.
"I am pleased to be your host once again on this fun filled race!" Master Hand said. "Now, lets make a quick go-over of the rules. First, racers are allowed to use their powers, but are not allowed to use powers that teleport them to the lead. And just in case anyone attempts to cheat, I've taken the liberty of negating such powers. Second, racers can attempt to knock each other off the track or disable their karts. If your car is disabled, you are disqualified. And lastly, watch out for obstacles and try to be a good sport, okay? Now, without further ado, let's introduce our racers!"
The crowd cheered as Master Hand began to call out the participants. "First up, we have with us the proud hero of the Mushroom Kingdom! A small plumber with a big heart, I give you, Mario!" At that moment, Mario drove up in his signature red kart with a large M on it. "Let's a-go!" he shouted as he did a fist pump. The crowd cheered wildly in response as Mario took a few bows. "Thank you, a-thank you, You're-a all too kind!"
"From the same Kingdom," Master Hand began, "we have everyone's favorite Koopa! He's terrifying! he's monstorous! You know him, you love him, you'd flee in terror at the sight of him! It's the feared Koopa King, Bowser!" Bowser drove up to the starting line next to Mario in his new "Bowser Mobile", a car he had built and named personally. It was purple in color with gold plating and resembled a cross between a a classic convertible and a Hummer Dinger. The car had spikes lining the hood and the wheel covers. A hood ornament in the shape of Bowser's head decorated the front of the car. Bowser stood up, beat his chest and roared to the sky, breathing fire. "It's showtime, chumps!" he boisterously yelled.
"Next up, we have the world's fastest, hypersonic hedgehog. The blue dude with the attitude! The guy who loves adventure! You know who I'm talking about, people! It's Sonic the Hedgehog!" Sonic then drove up in his Speed Star, a car Tails made for him using left-over parts from a botched invasion by Eggman. It had undergone a recent redesign due to Sonic wrecking it in a previous race. It now had less spikes, a slightly bulkier appearance, and a slightly curved back with a capital S in the black part for added detail. It now had different wheels and had harder edges. Almost all spikes it once had were removed, so the only ones left were two large ones on its back.
Sonic waved to the cheering crowd, Amy in particular waving a big sign that said I love Sonic with a heart in place of the world love. "Thank you, thank you." Sonic said, flashing that trademark smile. "Your adoration makes my victory all the more sweet!"
"Also from Sonic's world we have the Black Blur, the Dark Hedgehog, the Ultimate Life Form himself, It's Shadow the Hedgehog!" And Shadow teleported next to Sonic on his Dark Rider, a black motorcycle with his red insignia on it. "Shadow? What are you doing here?" Sonic asked, not expecting Shadow to participate in the race. "What's it look like?" Shadow replied. "I'm here to race, and I'm here to win."
"Oh, I see. Some friendly competition, eh?" Sonic teased. "Well, may the best hedgehog win!"
"I intend to." Shadow said.
"And now from the land of Hyrule, we have the hero of Hyrule himself! It's Link and his trusty steed Epona!" Master Hand said as Link rode up towards the other racers with his horse, Epona. "Hey guys!" he greeted. "A horse in a car race? Seriously?" Shadow asked with a raised eyebrow. "What? It's much more convenient, and I'm keeping the environment clean." Link replied. Shadow and Sonic looked at each other and shrugged. "Our next racer is everyone's favorite seafaring little hero, our youngest contestant yet. It's the Hero of Winds himself, Toon Link!" Toon Link rode up alongside the others. His cart in question was a replica of the King of the Red Lions boat he used during his first adventure. He built it himself with help from Ness and his friend Jeff.
"Toon?" Link asked. "What are you doing here?"
"I wanna race too." Toon replied. "I asked Zelda if I could qualify and she helped me sign up. Besides, I'm a pretty good smasher. Now I wanna see if I'm a good racer too."
"Huh." Link said to himself. "Well, don't expect me to take it easy on you."
"I would hope not." Toon replied. "Then it wouldn't be fun."
"Our next contestant is here to prove that the classics are never out of date!" Master Hand said. "I give you the captain of Lady Palutena's army himself. The angel with an attitude! It's Pit!" At that moment, Pit drove next to the others on an Exo-Tank. "Now that I'm here, let's get this party started!" Pit said to the cheering crowd while performing a V sign with his hand. Among the crowd was Palutena herself, come to watch her captain participate in the race. She waved at Pit and Pit waved back with an exuberant smile.
"From the depths of space comes the galaxy's greatest bounty hunter!" Master Hand said. "The terror of the Space Pirates, the hero of the Galactic Federation! Give it up for Samus Aran!" Samus drove up in an orange car with green headlights that was quite similar to Sonic's Speed Star. It was built using leftover pars from her gunship. Samus herself was clad in her Zero Suit. "Say boys, don't cry too much if I win. There's no shame in losing to a girl." she said smugly.
"Pride goeth before the fall, Samus." Link chided.
"He's right, Sam." Sonic said. "Let's wait till its over to decide a victor."
"Why bother? We all know I'll win." Shadow replied.
"In your dreams, Shadow." Pit said confidently.
"Yeah, furball!" Bowser said. "Everyone knows I'll win!"
"When pigs-a fly!" Mario said.
"Watch it, pasta boy!" Bowser snapped.
"Ahem!" Master Hand interrupted to break up the argument. "Our final contestant is a mystery opponent. There's not much I can say about him other than he prefers to be called the Galaxy Rider." At that moment, a figure clad in a white and green bikersuit appeared riding a motorcycle that was painted and decorated to look like a galaxy. The bodysuit made it hard to tell if the figure was male or female, and a green helmet with a tinted visor prevented the others from seeing the person's face.
"So, ready to race, stranger?" Pit asked. The Rider turned to him and gave a thumbs up in response. "Not much of a talker, huh?" Pit said. "I think he prefers to let his wheels do the talking." Sonic replied. "Which is fine by me!"
"Well then, let's get this started shall we?" Master Hand asked. "But two more things to inform you of. First, normally we'd have you do three laps around the track, but we've watered it down to only one. Next up, your prize for first place is... an all-expense-paid trip to Isle Delfino! So the stakes have really been raised here. Now without further ado. On your mark... Get set... GO!" And with those words, the racers sped off on the intricate track. The first part of the track took them through a dense forest in Hyrule. Skulltulas and Wallmasters served as obstacles, diving down to grab the racers.
The racers tried their best to avoid these obstacles as they attempted to pass each other up and knock each other off the track, but so far Sonic, Shadow, and Mario were in the lead. Eventually, they came out of the forest and onto Lake Hylia. The lake was vast and seemingly impassable. It surely looked as if the racers would drown. Mario activated the anti-gravity feature on his kart to float above the water. Bowser did the same with his car and followed suit. The Galaxy Rider's bike had no special feature. Instead, he merely outstretched his hand and caused the water to form a path for his bike. "Whoa!" Master Hand exclaimed. "Just who is this person that even the elements of nature bend to his will?!"
Sonic pressed a button on his car's dashboard and the vehicle transformed into a speedboat. Shadow's bike immediately turned into a small armed hovercraft that floated above the water. Pit's Exo-Tank sprouted metallic insectoid wings and flew after the others. Samus's car transformed into a smaller version of her Hunter-class Gunship. The wheels of Toon's car receded so it could turn into a sailboat, propelled by Toon using his Wind Waker to generate a small cyclone in the boat's sail. Link, however... wasn't so lucky. As Epona was a regular horse that could not travel water, Link was unable to travel any further. "It's okay, girl." Link said as he affectionately pet his horse. "There's always next year." And in a flash of light, Link was transported to the "Loser's Bench".
"Ooh! Look's like Link is the first one to go!" Master Hand said. "Who'll be next? The suspense is killing me!" The other racers continued racing across Lake Hyila. The lake seemed normal at first, only for tendrils of water to appear in an attempt to drag the racers into the deep, courtesy of Morpheel. Toon, right behind Shadow, tried to fire a torpedo at Shadow to knock him off his vehicle and into the water. But the black hedgehog teleported to avoid it and tossed a Chaos Spear at Toon in retaliation. They eventually reached the Bridge of Eldin. Bowser, right behind the Galaxy Rider, saw an opportunity and activated the cannon on his Bowser Mobile. "Have a nice flight, chump!" Bowser shouted as he fired a Bullet Bill straight towards the Rider.
The Rider, seemingly unphased by this, merely waved his hand and the Bullet Bill turned back around and jammed itself into Bowser's cannon. The cannon exploded, causing Bowser to lose control of his car and careen into Mario. "Mamma Mia!" the plumber shouted as Bowser crashed into him, sending the two rivals screaming off the bridge. They were teleported to the Loser's Bench by Master Hand, Mario landing next to Link and Bowser landing on top of him. "Smooth-a move, Turtle Boy." Mario said bitterly. "Shut it, Plumber's Butt." Bowser snarked back.
"Now that's what I call killing two birds with one missile!" Master Hand said. "Only six racers left! Who will be the next to go?" The racers continued along the bridge until a Twilight Portal appeared that began to suck up pieces of the bridge behind them. Sonic and Shadow briefly activated their super forms and sped off the bridge. The Galaxy Rider created a portal in front of him to get of the bridge. Pit activated the boost function on his Exo-Tank. Samus's car again transformed into her Gunship. Toon tried to keep up with the rest, but was too late to get off the bridge as it dissolved into Twilight particles, sending him falling into the chasm below. Toon, like all the others, ended up on the Loser's Bench. "Aw, man! Stupid magic portal!" Toon whined.
"Welcome to my world, Toon." Link said.
"Well, that answered that question!" Master Hand said. "Five racers left! One by one they fall, who will be the last of all?" The next part of the race took them on a pathway made of light that drove them through the Starlight Carnival of Eggman's Interstellar Amusement Park. They were soon set upon by the Frigate Skullian with a fleet of smaller ships flanking it. The Skullian fleet opened fire on the racers with their cannons. The racers again evaded the cannon fire as they attempted to pass each other up. They were doing good until the Skullian teleported away. A portal then opened up in front of them as a cluster of meteorites hurled themselves at the racers, forcing them to dodge both cannon fire and meteors.
Sonic managed to avoid the meteors with skilled driving. Shadow evaded them by teleporting frequently. Pit and Samus took to the air to avoid the meteors, firing at them with their blasters. The Galaxy Rider created a black hole in front of him to absorb oncoming meteors. Samus managed to avoid the meteors, but a stray shot from a ship's cannon hit her engines, causing her to crash into Pit. The two of them were sent flying into space only to be teleported to the Loser's Bench. "I always knew you'd fall for me one day." Pit chuckled. Samus growled and punched Pit in the face. "Taken out by meteorites." she grumbled. "I can hear those Space Pirate bastards laughing."
"This is turning out to be one tense race!" Master Hand shouted. "It's the final leg of the race and only three racers remain. Who'll come out on top?" The final leg of the race took place in Skyworld, Pit's hometown. It was a road made of light with many twists and turns among endless clouds, with Palutena's Temple looming in the background. The only obstacles came in the form of arrows and spears from Centurion Archers and Centurion Knights. The three racers managed to dodge the arrows, with the Galaxy Rider in the lead. Sonic and Shadow attacked the rider relentlessly with both Sonic Wind and Chaos Spear respectively, attempting to knock him off his bike so they could take the lead. The rider managed to dodge the attacks, allowing the two hedgehogs to take the lead.
Eventually the three of them came to the finish line. It seemed that either Sonic or Shadow was going to win. But something strange happened. A black hole opened up above the two hedgehogs. But rather than sucking them in, it instead released all of the meteors it had absorbed during the meteor shower on the Starlight Carnival track. The meteors fell down and bombarded the two, effectively knocking them off of their bikes and allowing the Galaxy Rider to cross the finish line unimpeded. The crowd cheered wildly as the Rider crossed the finish line.
"And the winner is... the Galaxy Rider!" Master Hand said as he teleported the Rider to the winner's cup to collect his prize. "Well, congratulations on winning this year's Smasher Race. But before you get your prize, I just have one request. Would you be so kind as to take off your helmet so we could get a better look at this year's winner?" The Rider hesitated for a few moments before slowly removing his helmet. What the crowd saw next elicited a sharp gasp from everyone. The Galaxy Rider was revealed to be... none other than Rosalina, Mario and Peach's interstellar friend. Everyone remained completely silent and stunned by the revelation.
"Rosalina?!" Master Hand asked. "But I thought you weren't racing this year!"
"Not at first." Rosalina replied. "But then I figured since it's my first year here at Smash Mansion, I figured I'd join in. That, and I really wanted to surprise everyone."
"Well, color me pleasantly surprised!" Master Hand said. "This has been truly an exciting race. Here's your prize." Master Hand handed the vacation brochure over to Rosalina and she got on her motorcycle. She prepared to ride away until she saw the others on the Loser's Bench. "Hey guys." She said. "Why so sad? Wasn't it a fun race?"
"Would've been better if one of us had won." Bowser said dejectedly.
"Yeah." Link added. "I wanted to win that vacation!"
"So what?" Rosalina asked. "We all had a good time, right?"
"Well, it was pretty awesome." Pit said.
"I had fun... even though I lost." Toon said.
"Rosalina's right." Sonic said. "Whether we won or lost doesn't matter. What matters is that we had fun."
"Well, if you guys feel so bad about losing. How about we all go?" Rosalina asked. "Since we all agreed we had a good time. We can all go on vacation."
"You don't mind?" Link asked. "Since you won, I figured that you'd want some alone time."
"Oh, it's no trouble!" Rosalina replied. "I wouldn't mind having some company with me. So what do you say?" The others looked at each other a bit before all giving various replies of agreement. They then went to their rooms to help pack up. The entire scene got a collective "Aww!" from the crowd. "Would you look at that, folks." Master Hand said. "Not only does our Galaxy Rider have nerves of steel, but a heart of gold!"
The End!
Well, that ends my tale! Hope you've enjoyed it!