Germany was a headstrong teen who didn't play by the rules. And those rules we're talking about are the general rules of society that say it ISN'T ok to fuck inanimate objects. But Germany didn't care what the adults told him - he knew that it was his goal in life to fuck every object that he could. Gnomes, bagels, dandelions, microwaves, eyebrows, walmart, pizza, tables; really, any item you could list, Germany had either already fucked it, or it was on his list to.

Believe it or not, Germany was normal one. But life has been hard for him after the divorce...

But little did he know, that his life would soon be changed forever.

It was a normal day for Germany. He was walking his dogs at 5 am in the morning, because really, when else is a better time? He was planning on just taking his dogs around the block, and then returning home to take a shower and watch Judge Judy before he had to go to work. A totally normal day for this man. After he got home, he was planning on fucking an object... But he wasn't really looking forward to it. For some reason, the thought didn't appeal to him as much as it usually did. His love life had never been anything too exciting, save for the few times his penis had gotten burnt, but nowadays.. It felt lackluster. He didn't have anything to look forward to. And since none of his lovers were living, he couldn't count on /them/ to spice it up for him...

He sighed as he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. He didn't feel like finishing his normal route today. Angry, bustling mothers glared as they tried to hurry around his still figure, effectively jostling him as they uncouthly bumped into him in their attempt to get past him faster. He could hear one of the mother's offspring cry out in distress, as if he had lost something. Germany felt that way too, except he really /had/ lost something. His dignity. His pride. The love of his life.

He wiped his totallynottears with the back of his hand before he shifted forward, wanting to get home so he could cry in the showe- I MEAN WATCH WRESTLING LIKE A MAN GRR. However, before he could make any progress, his foot collided with something soft. He looked down in awe, as his eyes came into contact with the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his entire life.

"You... You're /gorgeous/," Germany said, gently picking it up. He had never seen something like this before. He felt like he had stumbled upon a beautiful, precious, rare gem. He felt like his world had been lifted out of the sewers, bathed in liquid gold, and dried with diamond dust. He simply couldn't believe it.

Germany fingered the object delicately, feeling like he was undeserving to even hold it in his hands. He felt the brown, plastic hat gently, and moved his hand to the back... He latched his fingers onto the circle and /pulled/...

"There's a snake in my boot!" Sheriff Woody exclaimed with a glassy look in his eyes.

"I-I love you!" Germany shouted.

Germany finally walked through the entry way of his house, panting heavily, since he ran the whole way back due to his excitement. He put his dogs in the basement, and turned around seductively. He sauntered up to Sheriff Woody sitting like a princess on his couch.

"Well... /Hello/," Germany said to him, lust glinting in his eyes. "I know we just met, but... If you want to be with me tonight... Just say the word..."

Germany pulled Woody's string in anticipation.

"Howdy Partner!" Woody said.

Germany groaned in arousal. He slowly reached down to palm himself through his bicycle shorts. His erection had been straining against the tight pants ever since he heard Woody speak his first words to him. He knew that all of the townsfolk could see his hard dick as he ran home, but he didn't care. He didn't care who saw his passion for the doll in front of him.

He knew he was ready. He knew Woody was ready. They didn't need a history together to know that this was /right/. The stars were aligned as Germany peeled off his shorts and picked up Woody. Lucky for both of them, Germany never wore underwear with his bicycle shorts. Germany grinned sexily and lowered Woody down, down, down...

Germany felt like fireworks were exploding inside of his mind. It felt like a monster truck rally of pleasure was talking place inside of that gray matter. The more he rubbed that poor toy against his 2 inch dick, the closer he felt to an epiphany, or enlightenment, or /something/ good enough to justify this intense feeling.

Germany looked down into Woody's gleaming plastic eyes. He came that second. Germany fell forward in exhaustion. He had made love to Woody, and it had been the best 6 seconds of his life.

"B-Babe.." Germany heaved, looking at Woody's cum soaked body. "I know it's such short notice but... Will you... marry me?"

Germany pulled the string, expecting a joyful answer that they could celebrate with some beer and another few passionate rounds of sex. He felt like the happiest man in the world.

"This town ain't big enough for the two of us!" Woody said.

Germany's world dropped.

Out of the gold and back into the sewer.

He was crestfallen. He was used to rejection but... He didn't even know what to do. He tried reasoning with Woody.

"W-Woody...? Sweetheart? Y-You don't /mean/ that, stop joking with me, it's not funny...!"

Woody gazed at him solemnly.

Germany stood up, bringing Woody with him.

"I guess it's over then."

He dropped Woody into his trash can.

Germany looked down somberly.

"Trash belongs in the trash bin."

FIN