QUICK NOTE: So I already have a fic going on right now but it's a bit dense and I am a bit nah do that later. This is very much a parody and loosely based around tweets sent by the Emo Kylo Ren account on twitter. They're absolutely hilarious and give me giggles so here goes.
"No Hux you don't even get it she's like-"
"… and then I said well why don't you start because he was obviously the one to come up to me right anyway…"
"I swear like if you don't listen to me I will hang up I called you because I'm in agony!"
"…and then he says alright but don't leave yeah and I'm like well whoa why would I leave and you know what happened last time I met someone at a con and so I'm like well yeah I won't just take off you helmet…"
"Like she hates me so much Hux I swear it's like sexual tension overload and I'm throwing all these lines at her but-"
"AND YOU WILL NEVER GUESS right so he takes off this mask and he's a she like how ew is that?"
"Ren. Ren are you still there? Ren did you hear the end Phasma's a girl did you hear?"
"Ren I know you're still there come on how weird is that. Ren."
"Ren I swear if you don't stop being such a little bitch baby about that weird archaeologist freak-"
"I AM KYLO REN GRANDSON OF DARTH VADER HIMSELF HOW DARE YOU."
"Wow ok chill. Anyway so I'm like-"
"And she is not an 'archaeologist freak' she is a collector."
Oh my grandad sometimes Hux is just so superficial like I am in genuine pain? She just doesn't get it? That my hatred is love?
My dad just got back from uncle Lando's and he's so drunk and mom is so mad like
Bet Darth Vader could handle his drink you know?
Ugh I have no respect for this family whatsoever.