The Autobiography of Leslie Knope

by myfriendfiction

The Autobiography of Leslie Knope Volume 5 Epilogue: What I've Learned From Raising Triplets. From Matching Outfits to Three Batmans to Sibling Squabbles to Three Times the Love.

The Autobiography of Leslie Knope Volume 5

Epilogue

Here is a summary of what I have learned from my experience having triplets:

· Dressing in matching or coordinating outfits is just part of the experience of being a multiple. At my baby shower I unwrapped many matching outfits that my little monsters would come to wear. While I was pregnant their Grandma Julie and I would skype to discuss patterns, fabrics, and outfits as we spent many nights sewing little outfits that we couldn't wait to put our little angels in. When they were babies they wore the outfits without complaint. Once toddlerhood began it took some bribery to get them in matching outfits. Stephen wanted to run around naked or wear only a cape. Sonia only wanted to wear her Batman shirt with the Velcro on cape with her Inside Out sneakers, and Wesley wanted to wear his Spiderman shirt with his Batman shoes. Really, they all went through a cape phase. It lasted for at least six months. Also, it'd be real nice if they had Batman shoes for girls. Once they hit about eight they were mortified every time I wanted them to coordinate. But if it was for a family portrait or holiday I could usually get them to wear at least the same color. But by thirteen that was near impossible. For Mother's Day I would ask that they all wear coordinating outfits as part of my present. For their high school graduation they gave their father and I a present. It was a photograph of them in their cap and gown and a photo of them sans their cap and gown wearing coordinating outfits that Grandma Julie helped them arrange. The boy's ties matched their sister's dress. They did it again for their college graduation. They're good kids.

· Sometimes two or even three of them would come out of their rooms dressed alike, accidentally. The boys went through a stage where they liked to buy the same shirt. They wouldn't just let us buy one shirt and they could share it. They each had to have the shirt. Then, they would fight about who got to wear it when. When they would both arrive for breakfast wearing the same shirt they would argue about who got to wear it that day. Sometimes, Sonia and one of the boys, or even both, would show up all wearing the same color or pattern. After leaving home, the boys still occasionally will show up wearing the same shirt they bought separately. What can I say? Being in the womb bonds.

· Coordinating Halloween costumes is obviously a given for multiples and just all around a terrific idea. Seriously, the creative costumes alone are reason enough to have multiples; We had a kitten, puppy, and rabbit. Three pumpkins. Three blind mice. Three penguins. Three Little Pigs. Three politicians. The Hungry Caterpillar, the Fat Caterpillar, and the Butterfly. Dorothy, the Scarecrow, and the Lion. Spiderman, Batman, and Iron Man. Three Batmans, they all wanted to be Batman one year. Three Pirates. Charlie Brown, Linus, and Sally. Harry Potter, Hermione, and Ron. Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Princess Leia. Come to think of it I probably shouldn't have had two of them in a couple's costume. Chewbacca, R2D2, and C3PO. They all got to rotate and be Chewbacca once that night because they had all decided they wanted to be Chewbacca just as we had decided to walk out of the door. FYI: I was Yoda and Ben was Obi Wan Kenobi. Hanging Chad, Dimpled Chad, and Pregnant Chad. They got super into the 2000 presidential election that year. It was 2025, the 25 year anniversary. Sadly, no one but Ben and I understood their costumes that year. We had Rock, Paper, and Scissors. Anyways, I think you get the picture.

· Fighting with triplets is constant. When three kids are the same age, go to the same school, sometimes have the same teachers, share rooms or they all live down the same hall from one another, and have the same friends fighting is inevitable. Secrets are impossible. Tattling is constant. They are all in each other's business. They can all read each other's expressions. They can all tell what the other one is thinking or how they feel about something. They all know what gets on the other one's nerves and they know how to take advantage of that. Sometimes they use their knowledge of each other to the other one's detriment and teasing and occasionally torture occurs. This can be the case for crushes, a bad grade on a test that they didn't study as much as they should have, an embarrassing moment at school, jealousy over something the other one has whether it be a toy or an award that has been given, fighting over what movie to watch or what game to play or who got to drive the car. Fighting can be each individual for themselves or two against one. Epic fights that will live on in all our memories: Sonia jealous she didn't have a penis, Sonia jealous she couldn't have Batman shoes like the boys, Sonia got a stuffed zebra one birthday while the boys got a monkey and lion. The boys became upset they didn't get a zebra so we had to get the boys each a zebra and luckily we knew from experience that they each needed a different collar so we would know which zebra belonged to whom. They fought over who got to hold mommy's hand or who got to sit on Daddy's lap. They fought about who got to sit by the window seat and during the same fight they would fight about who got to sit in the middle seat. They fought over who was taller and who had grown more since the last time they had been measured. The boys love to tease Sonia that they're twins making her the odd one out because she was just made from an extra egg while theirs split. She counters with she's an original and the boys are just a copy of each other. They fought after scaring away each other's crushes. Wesley and Stephen have both had a crush on the same girl, twice. They also both dated the same girl and Stephen is married to her now. While, Sonia and Wesley both dated the same guy that Wesley is now married too. They fought over friends too. There was the fight over a plotline in the ninth Star Wars film. A fight over a long contiguous Monopoly game. Another fight over a long complicated game of Risk. I had to use a unity quilt to solve that fight. Ben and I once had an idea to have a little mock model UN the summer of the triplets eighth grade year in an effort to encourage them to go out for model UN in high school. That ended with all five of us fighting. We decided we could never all do model UN together again. All though, it has been several years maybe….no…never mind. Tip: Intense organization and routine tremendously lessens chances of fighting.

· On the flip side loyalty and support are even stronger. And when it comes to other people their loyalty for each other (and their family) rivals any fight they have ever had with each other. Everyone knows not to mess with a Knope Wyatt triplet. If you mess with one you have to deal with the other two. This was the case when a boy would pull on Sonia's pigtails, a girl would steal Stephen's crayons, or a kid would make fun of Wesley's glasses. They've had each other's backs since they were old enough to walk. This has resulted in many parent teacher conferences. It has also resulted in many touching and heartwarming moments. When one is sad the other two will embark on a mission to cheer the other person up or at least show their support. A few times, one will be sad and the other two will also be sad and they will have no clue as to why they feel that way until they discover that one of the three is sad. They can be so in tune with each other that it can get downright creepy. But also adorable.

· Three of everything will be a commonly uttered phrase. Three highchairs, three stuffed zebras, three Batman costumes, three bottles, three diaper changes, three baths, three pirate swords, three duck floaties, three hugs, three kids begging, three stuffed penguins, three doughnuts, three temper tantrums, three I love yous, three hula hoops, three training pottys, three stuffed dogs, three bikes, three trainsets, three science projects, and three different afterschool activities in three different places in three different parts of town.

· One of the unexpected and funny things about having triplets is something that has happened occasionally since they became teenagers. Every once in a while Sonia will be with one of her brothers and someone will think they are dating. It mortifies them and makes the rest of us laugh. It happened for the first time when Sonia and Wesley were about sixteen and in line at the movies. An older woman in line behind them told them they were a cute couple. It happened about six months later when Sonia and Stephen were taking a walk around a little park, the Washington DC Mall, and an older man said that Stephen must be whipped. Sonia informed the man that he had outdated sexist attitudes while Stephen gave him a stare down and then dragged Sonia away as a crowd had begun to gather.

· So many holidays! Each and every birthday is a spectacularly special event. Not only does a birthday celebrate the day you were born but for my little monsters it is the day their dad and I finally met them after countless doctor appointments, hearing about all of the bad things that could happen from your doctor, googling all of the bad things that could happen, a few weeks of light bedrest, preparations, up to a week in and out of NICU. When you have a pregnancy considered high risk it is a huge relief to finally be able to hold your babies. So every birthday was an extra special occasion and was celebrated as such. As you've probably noticed I'm big on holidays. I had to promise Ben that I would keep the triplet's special holidays to one week for each. A few holiday highlights: Sonia- First time trying pizza, first time watching Mary Poppins, swing day, pretty in pink day, Taylor Swift concert day. Wesley- big slide day, science fair day, first time eating broccoli day, raccoon day, glasses day. Stephen- rollercoaster vomit day, cape day, fishing day, first time eating spaghetti day, I Love Lucy marathon day. (See chapter 41 for all of the triplet's holidays-there are a few that they wouldn't let me put in, well Sonia and Wesley. Stephen has no shame.)

· Quarantine. When one kid is sick it is vital to separate the sick child from the other two. I have enacted quarantine protocol several times and it has worked quite a few times (I should publish my binder on it). Of course, usually when one comes down with something quarantine was useless because the other two already have it in their systems and are on their way to becoming sick. Also, when one kid gets sick the other two will get sick and then the parents will be sick. See Volume 3 Chapter 15 Pawnee Flu Strain 5. The entire family was extremely sick. It took a month for us to fully recover.

· Get lots of pain reliever because three kids the same age are very loud, there's a lot of lifting, and did I mention it can be very loud?

I love my three little monsters. I couldn't imagine my life without each one of them. Being their mother has been a joy. Before I had my kids I worked to make other people's kids happy. I worked to maintain beautiful parks where families could have picnics, go on hikes, and watch their kids play while they created precious memories. I tried to legislate measures that would ensure the health, safety, and happiness of future generations. After I became a mother it became even more important to me to help our communities and country be a great place to hand down to our children and grandchildren. I feel assured and blessed to know that I have done my part and that my children will do their part. Maybe they won't be one third of the Supreme Court (none of them have gone to law school but there's still time) but they are the most wonderful children a mother could ask for. They are kind, generous, hardworking, intelligent, funny, beautiful little monsters. I have enjoyed watching them go through the world whether it be a school field trip, their first school dance, seeing all 50 states with them, their first election, teaching them how to drive, watching them file their taxes for the first time (that one's for Ben-he cried when they did their taxes independently for the first time), graduations, Friday night bowling or board games, or honor roll. It's been wonderful to have Sonia, Wesley, and Stephen on my team. My team is now stronger, better looking, smarter, and more adept than ever.