A big thank you to my wonderful beta Glostarz!
Enough is Enough Chapter 1
Many things had happened lately and Greg had found it very difficult to handle these events. First, his best friend Sara left without even saying goodbye, next Warrick was brutally killed and finally Grissom left the lab to join Sara in Costa Rica which meant new colleagues joined the lab.
And his boyfriend Thomas broke up with him. Mainly because Thomas was getting fed up with Greg talking about Nick all the time. While his straight colleague never seemed to notice that he was in love with him. Greg caught Thomas cheating on him and, to be honest, he was at a point that it didn't really bother him at all.
The murder rate in Las Vegas was rising every week, which lead to working overtime almost every shift. And if he had a day off, he was so tired that he spent the whole day sleeping. He hardly had time or energy to hang out with his friends. It seemed that Nick felt the same, because he never called anymore to hang out after a shift. They hardly ever worked together on a case. And most of the time Greg was working at the AV-lab doing Archie's job, while he preferred working in the field. That was why he wanted to become a CSI in the first place, but he still was stuck in the lab the whole shift.
At some point he actually didn't care any more if they caught the bad guys or not.
And all this started to bother him so much, he was sick of feeling tired all the time. He was feeling numb, nothing seemed to matter anymore to him. He didn't want to live just to work, but he wanted to work so he could live the life he wanted.
The days dragged on, shift after shift. Greg was starting to loose track of time.
It didn't matter if it was Monday or Friday, every day felt the same. Get out of bed, drink some coffee, drive to work, work a long never-ending shift, go back home, take a shower, eat something and watch some TV, go to sleep. And then it started all over again. Most of the time he had a hard time falling asleep, even when he was feeling exhausted. And if he did fall asleep he would wake up several times. So when his alarm clock went off he was feeling just as tired as before he went to bed.
After a while he just decided not to go to bed at all. Instead he would have a quick nap on the couch while watching TV. It also didn't take long before he didn't bother to cook a descent meal. He had no energy for it, so usually he would have some cookies or another snack.
To get through the day he would drink loads of coffee and energy drinks. Nobody seemed to notice that he started to loose weight or that the bags under his eyes where always there.
The light in his eyes started to disappear and he was hardly ever smiling anymore.
But nobody seemed to notice, they were all to busy with their own lives.
When he was getting sloppy on the job, there was a comment made to pay more attention next time and after that it was forgotten.
After another long and annoying shift, Greg decided that he had enough.
A man can only take so much before enough is enough.
That day he took drastic matters, there was no reason to keep living this life.
When the next shift started and he was not there, his colleagues didn't worry right away as Greg had been late for shift several times the last couple of days. As a supervisor this did bother Catherine. Not just because it was Greg who was late, but she was one man down while it was extremely busy. It didn't take long for her to call Greg's cell phone but it went straight to his voicemail. After calling several times, she finally left an angry message.
Catherine started to hand out the assignments to the rest of team and only Nick seemed worried about Greg's whereabouts. Riley made a comment that Greg would be still sleeping after another night out. And Ray didn't know Greg well enough to make a comment about it at all. Catherine seemed to be too busy and stressed to spend too much time worrying about Greg.
While on the way to the crime scene Nick tried to call Greg on his cell phone and on his landline. But there was no answer, so he left several messages on both voice mails. Riley didn't understand why he was getting so worried, it wasn't the first time Greg was late for work. He probably had a hangover or was still in bed with some chick he had picked up from the bar.
Nick was getting more anxious as the time was ticking by and there was still no sign of Greg. He couldn't concentrate on his work so he decided to stop by at Greg's place before they went back to the lab. When Riley and Nick arrived at Greg's apartment they noticed that the front door was open. With their guns drawn they entered the apartment but there was no one there.
It looked like a bomb had gone off inside the small apartment. Magazines, clothes, DVDs and CDs shattered on the floor and couch. At least a dozen dirty coffee mugs and empty energy drinks lay on the coffee table next to an ashtray full of cigarette butts. The bed was unmade and dirty clothes were spread all over the bedroom floor. Both the bathroom and kitchen looked like it had not been cleaned and used in ages.
The whole place smelled of cigarette smoke and coffee. The voicemail was flashing an aggressive red light to indicate there were messages left on it.
Suddenly they heard a sound coming from in between the couch cushions. When Nick removed one of the cushions, he found Greg's cell phone. The battery was running low. Since yesterday morning several people had called, including Nick and Catherine.
Wherever Greg was, he didn't want to be reached by anyone. To be honest, this worried Nick even more. Greg always had his cell phone with him. Nick used to tease Greg about it all the time. Also, Greg's grey Jetta wasn't parked in its usual spot, so where could he be?
Nick and Riley decided to leave Greg's apartment and return to the lab. After seeing Greg's apartment in the state they found it, Riley was getting worried as well. When they arrived back Nick instantly went to see Archie.
"Hey Arch." He said while entering the AV-lab.
"Hey Nick, what's up?" The young Asian man said while looking up from the computer screen.
"If someone has got a GPS in their car are you always able to track them?" Nick asked while he walked closer towards Archie.
"Yeah, sure." Archie answered. "Why? Do you need me to track down one of the suspects?" He added.
"Euhm…..no, well, it's Greg." Nick stuttered, while he was nervously playing with some papers lying on Archie's desk.
"Greg?" Archie asked surprised.
"Yeah, well, he just left and I'm getting extremely worried." Nick shyly told him.
"Sure, I can do that. But you do know that it's against lab policy?" Archie told him, while his fingers were already flying over the keyboard.
"I know. But…I…Can you please do it, off the record?" Nick asked while he could feel tears forming in his eyes. "I'm really worried. It's not like him to run off like that." He added.
When seeing that Nick was getting emotional Archie worked on tracking down Greg's GPS on his Jetta. "Alright, Nick. Don't worry. I'll track his GPS down." Archie said. "Do you think something bad happened to him? "He added, while he was concentrating on the computer screen.
"I don't know man, but I'm worried sick." Nick told him.
"Look, this is the route he's taken." Archie said, while pointing at the computer screen. "Wow, he's traveled a long way. It looks like he's at the ocean." Archie explained. "Maybe he needed a holiday?" He added with a smile on his face.
"You think that he'd do that without telling anyone?" Nick was curious.
"No, you're right." Archie said with a sheepish look on his face. "Let me just print it out for you." He quickly added.
After he received the printed route Greg had taken from Archie Nick went straight to Catherine's office. Where he announced that he was taking the next couple of days off Catherine was not happy at all with the news. But before she had time to protest, Nick already pointed out that he hadn't had a holiday in months. Catherine sure didn't want him to get overworked and deny his days off? What would the union say about that? Catherine didn't have anything to say to argue with Nick so without waiting for an answer he was already out of the door not even hearing Catherine asking him where he was going and when he would be back.
Quickly he went back to his house to gather some clothes and toiletries. After that he went on his way, following the route Greg had taken. It took him several hours before he arrived at the final destination the GPS had shown. By that time it was already late in the afternoon. He parked his car and decided just to walk around and hopefully he would spot Greg. It was quit a small town with nothing more to do than surfing. Didn't Greg tell him that he was a surfer? It was a state of mind and had nothing to do with how far away the ocean was located. Therefore Nick went to the beach and walked down the shore.
It was busy at the beach. There were families having a picnic, children building sandcastles, some people were swimming and there were surfers everywhere. Surfers catching a wave in the ocean, but also many surfers who were just enjoying the weather, while their surfboards were placed next to them in the sand.
After an hour, Nick was getting frustrated and desperate. How was he ever going to find Greg? He didn't even know for sure that Greg was at this specific beach. There were miles of beach to go, it never seemed to end. Tired from the journey and the walk, Nick decided to pick a spot in the sand and have a short rest before he continued his search.
When he woke up he was rather frustrated that he had fallen asleep. It was a lot quieter now. Most families had left and only some of the surfers were still there. Nick got up and continued his search for Greg.
After a half an hour Nick tripped in a hole a kid had made in the sand. He fell flat on his face, embarrassed he quickly got back on his feet. But when he saw a small coffee shop near the beach he decided to have a cup of nice hot coffee. That is what he needed to get him through the rest of his search.
He was regretting his decision to follow Greg and search for him. Maybe Greg just didn't want to be found. Maybe he just wanted……maybe he…maybe he….shit! What if he just wanted to kill himself? Hastily Nick got up from his seat in the coffee shop, the coffee forgotten and left on the table. He quickly went back to the beach and with a lot of determination he continued his search. It was a lot quieter then half an hour ago.
He spotted another group of surfers sitting on the beach. They were laughing and smoking, their surfboards placed in the sand next to them. Suddenly two more surfers appeared from the ocean, their hair dripping wet, while zipping their wetsuits open and leaving them hanging on their hips. When Nick walked closer he could see that the two surfers had joined the group.
One guy out of the group handed the duo a cigarette and they sat down on the sand. The last two surfers sat down with their backs towards Nick. When Nick came a bit closer he could see scars on one of the guys backs. Water from his hair was dripping down on his back, sliding over the scars. He was rather skinny, his ribs were sticking out.
Spotting the familiar scars Nick walked a lot faster towards the group of surfers. They didn't notice him because they were too busy with talking and laughing. When he stood behind the scarred surfer the others finally noticed him and it went quiet. All their eyes were staring at Nick, making him feel rather uncomfortable.
"Euhm…..Greg?" He asked quietly.
The scarred surfer quickly turned around and was looking at him in shock. He looked rather pale and a cigarette was dangling from the corner of his lips.
"Nick? What the fuck are you doing here?" He asked in an angry voice.
"What? I was worried sick about you!" Nick replied, almost shouting. "Can we talk somewhere a bit more private, please?" He added, still feeling the other surfers looking at him.
With an annoyed look on his face Greg got up and pulled Nick along with him. When they were a bit further away from the group of surfers Nick started to talk again.
"I don't get it. If you wanted to go surfing, why don't you just take some days off?" Nick said, "I was worried about you, I thought something had happened!"
Greg was just staring at his feet, tossing the cigarette butt in the sand. Suddenly he looked up, his eyes dark with anger. "Oh, shut up. You don't understand do you? Just leave me alone and go back to Las Vegas" He almost shouted.
Nick tried to stay calm. "No, I guess I don't understand, why don't you explain it to me?" He asked patiently.
"Oh please, just stop it and go away." Greg was angry. He just turned around and walked towards the waiting group.
"Greg! Please, don't walk away like that!" Nick shouted.
"Just watch me!" Greg answered in a shallow voice. He continued walking towards the group, where he gathered his stuff without saying a word.
Nick just stood there, he was flabbergasted. What just happened? He didn't expect it to go like this. Why did he come here anyway? Because Greg needed his help. Greg was his best friend. And his best friend needed him, even when he said he didn't. Resolute he ran towards Greg, whom had already almost reached the road beside the beach. His wetsuit was still hanging on his hips, his surfboard clutched under his arm.
"Please Greg, stop walking and talk to me!" Nick shouted.
He was a bit relieved when Greg indeed stopped walking. The rest of the group continued walking, looking back at the two men. When Nick finally reached him he placed his arm on Greg's shoulder.
"I was worried about you when you dissapeared like that. I thought…I just thought that you….that you…. " Nick stuttered.
"What? You thought I killed myself? That idea had crossed my mind several times. But I didn't even have the guts to really do it. I'm useless, I can't even kill myself!" Greg said, while he angrily pushed Nick's arm away.
He continued walking towards the road while shouting at Nick to leave him alone.
"Please Greg, talk to me! Please Greggo!" Nick said, desperately shouting the last word.
After hearing the almost forgotten nickname Greg hesitated and stood still, the group of surfers continued walking. Nick was finally able to catch up.
"Please G, don't do this, I want to help you." Nick whispered when he was standing in front of the younger man.
"Help me? How can you help me? Nobody can help me. I'm useless, I hate my life, I hate myself, I hate my job, I hate Las Vegas and I even hate you Nick! I hate you for not seeing what I feel for you! I hate you for not spending any time with me anymore!" Greg screamed in anger, but the tears were welling up in his eyes.
"Well, I don't hate you Greggo." Nick quietly said.
"Well, that's just great! I make a complete fool of myself and you don't even hate me?" Greg whispered, while he angrily wiped away his tears.
"No, why would I hate you? You're my friend and I care about you. I already lost one of my best friends and I don't want to loose another one." Nick said, while he gently squeezed Greg's neck.
"Just a friend?" Asked Greg in a small voice.
"What are you saying G?" Nick asked confused.
"Do you want me to write it down for you?" Greg said, getting angry again.
"What?" Nick asked, still looking rather confused.
"I'm in love with you Nick, I've been in love with you for years now." Greg said in a quiet voice.
Nick didn't know what to say, he just stared at Greg. Feeling rather uncomfortable after his confession, Greg just wanted to run away and disappear into thin air.
"Oh great, now I'm sure I……. " Greg started, but he got cut off, because Nick gave him a hug. He was holding Greg tight against his chest.
Greg wasn't expecting this and it took him a few seconds to hug Nick back.
"Are you alright, Nick?" Greg asked, when Nick wasn't saying anything, but was just hugging him tightly.
"You silly, silly man. You know I love you too Greggo. But I think I really just want you to be my best friend." Nick whispered in to Greg's ear. "I mean, I don't think I'm gay or anything".
"Great, how embarrassing." Greg mumbled, while he buried his head into Nick's chest.
"No, don't be embarassed. You let your heart speak, that's a brave thing to do." Nick said while he started stroking Greg's hair. "I'm sorry for letting you down. I want to be there for you and I'm sorry that you're feeling so bad lately. I really want to help make you feel happy again!" He added, resting his forehead on Greg's.
"Yeah?" Greg asked quietly.
"Yeah, Greggo, what can I do to help you?", Nick answered while squeezing Greg's shoulder before he stopped hugging him.
"We can go for coffee at this great place I know." Greg said. "Maybe, we can really talk there".
"Sure, Greggo, that will be the first step." Nick said, while they started walking, side by side, towards the coffee shop.
Amsterdam by Coldplay
Come on, oh my star is fading
And I swerve out of control
If I, if I'd only waited
I'd not be stuck here in this hole
Come here, oh my star is fading
And I swerve out of control
And I swear, I waited and waited
I've got to get out of this hole
But time is on your side, its on your side, now
Not pushing you down, and all around
It's no cause for concern
Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I'm dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath
And time is on your side, its on your side, now
Not pushing you down, and all around
No it's no cause for concern
Stuck on the end of this ball and chain
And I'm on my way back down again
Stood on the edge, tied to the noose
Sick to the stomach
You can say what you mean
But it won't change a thing
I'm sick of the secrets
Stood on the edge, tied to the noose
And you came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose