A/N:
Hi there! Well I'm new to this fandom, so I'm pretty much nervous about writing for it ^.^ As you can see in my profile, English isn't my first language, so please FORGIVE ME if I had some typos or grammatical errors. I tried my best to search for them, but as I said, English isn't my first language (is Spanish). So, If someone wish to become a beta for this I'll be very happy *-*
Well, I don't know what to say. I'm from the Spanish Ichihime/Ulquihime/Renruki/Ichiruki fandom of Bleach, but I had been reading some SNK fics here (some people, I believe, had receive a lot of my reviews xDD) Anyway, I beg for your pardon if there are some reviews. So, please, be considerate with me, okey?
Other thing, I choose a name for Mr. Ackerman, Mikasa's dad, because there isn't a canon name for him... Sorry if there are some OOC, I tried my best to made them in character, but well... I'm not Isayama Sensei ;_:
Characters: Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean and Kenny Ackerman
Rating: T because of the adult language.
Genre: Romance & Angst & Hurt/Comfort
Words: 2977
Summary: He was happy because she had promised that she would stick around him until the end. And he knew, oh how he knew, that Mikasa wasn't a person to break promises. So, everything was going to be fine.
Disclaimer: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan isn't mine. Is from Isayama Hajime.
Until the very end.
He didn't have an idea of how many times he had been scared in his short life. He didn't remember the first time, but he was able to remember other times.
One of this was when he found Mikasa lying in the cold floor, with that horrible bastards that called themselves human beings. He had been scared that she had lost her freedom; her will to survive. There wasn't nothing in the world that could make him more furious that the simple thought of a person —in this case a girl that was brutally snatched from her family— losing her freedom. He had looked at her gray eyes, finding only two holes that were looking at everything without focus. They were hollow, just like her soul.
He was so furious with that horrible bastards that he didn't worry about his own safety. The only thing that was very clear in his mind was that he had to save her. He had planned everything in an astonishing short time, but he was scared that his plan would fail. He knew that he had only one opportunity and that if he failed, they were going to be murdered or worse, lost their freedoms.
Yes, for Eren, lose his liberty was worse than death.
But at the end of the night —he didn't thank to any spirit (as his mother did) since he didn't believe that some gods or something like that existed… and if they did existed then, why the hell they didn't help them with the titans in first place?— he had saved her. He had won. His father had scolded him but he didn't care. The only thing that mattered to him was that he had saved a girl, and his new life purpose was to make her feel happy.
The other time was in the fall of Wall María, and when he saw his dear mother being eaten alive for that horrible and disgusting smiling titan. He had screamed to stop, to make him stop, but nothing happened. He was powerless and had to settle in see his mother being torn in pieces.
That time had been different from Mikasa's because he not only felt fear, but anxiety about his future, anger because this fucking and disgusting creatures were killing and eating humans again, and pain, so much fucking pain in his heart that he barely could contain his groans. His chest had ached for days and nights, his eyes had been swollen for so much silent cries. He was just only a kiddo who had lost his everything. His mom, his home...his life.
Other occasion had been in the fallen of Trost. "It's happening again, dammit" he had thought with fear, anger and bitter. He hadn't recovered for the trauma of the fallen of María's and there he was watching Trost being destroyed, people dying around of him and that nasty creatures eating them like they were some kind of candy, with so much gusto that made him want to vomit. The smell of death, blood and fresh human meat got deep into his nose, causing nausea and so much fury that he thought that his knuckles would tear apart.
His fear and anger had been the fuel for his fighting wishes. He had motivated his comrades to fight, to don't give up. He had told them that they were going to win; that they were going to give humanity's first victory. He had smiled and thought that everything was going to be okay because they had trained a lot and he was confident that killing titans was a piece of cake. He had peace of mind and confidence because he was going to become a badass and he would kill em all; he would enter the Survey Corps with honor and shit, just like Mikasa and Armin. Because at the end of the day all of them were going to be safe and sound.
He couldn't be more wrong.
To make the long story short, a lot of people died in front of his eyes. Trost became a hell, just like Shiganshina. The titans killed and ate everything that they wanted. He was even eaten by one of the bastards. But thanks to ... life? Destiny? He didn't die, but rather became a titan. Life had a very dark sense of humor, he thought once. For his irony, he became what he most hated in life: a titan. A titan fucking shifter.
He didn't knew how he should react to that... The only thing he knew was that life had become a bitch with him and had come to bite his ass. Maybe it was karma because he, at the tender age of nine, killed two humans ("a rather pathetic excuses of human's beings") like it was nothing? Or maybe, it was because he had screamed and sworn that he was going to kill them all? He didn't knew, the only thing that he was completely sure was that life was a bitch with him.
Eren didn't want to fight the titans like one of them, he wanted to kill them all with his 3DMG. But if life gives you lemons, make lemonade with them.
He had felt scared so many times, that fear was now a new layer of his skin. Eren had feared in the court —much more after the beating he took from Captain Levi—; he had been scared when he'd had to choose to trust Levi's squad in that horrible mission —that ended with the team's death— ...
Oh, and he couldn't never ever forget how he had feared that time when Mikasa was hurt by a titan. He couldn't move, couldn't talk or scream; he was simply there watching how his only and little piece of home was going to be eaten alive like his mother. His heart had stopped, his brain had gotten black. But Jean, the 'horse face', had rescued her like some kind of prince of one of the stories of Armin's. And she, hurt as she was, had saved him. Again.
He had never felt so relieved.
That was the first time since he was nine that he wanted to hug her tight to his chest, and for a strange reason, he had remembered how —when he was a child— had always thought that he was going to marry Mikasa in their adulthood. Why? Because he had saved her and he was the only one with the right to make her happy for the eternity. But it wasn't only for that, but because he liked her, too. She had only chuckled at his jokes —not even to Armin's— and she had always keep him some fresh baked cookies. He wanted to make her happy because she had made him happy, too.
He had desisted later when he found out that married people kiss in the mouth and make other —nasty things— to make babies. He, at his nine years old innocence, couldn't tolerate the idea of Mikasa and him doing that.
But in the moment he felt her hugging his back, in the piggy ride he gave her to save their lives, he —for his embarrassment— didn't mind at all the idea of kiss her in the mouth, hug her tight to his chest and touch her to felt her warm skin in his hands...
He didn't care at all because that was part of their destiny since he saved her. Eren thought that Mikasa knew that. He thought that he didn't have to say nothing at the matter because she had to know that they were made to each other. They had survive to so much pain that they were irrevocably broken.
People had to be stupid if they believed that when all this shit finished he wasn't going to take Mikasa with him (and Armin, of course) and travel the world together. They would travel the ancient world together as they had always dreamed. Then, when they were satisfied with their travel, he would make a house with his own hands for her; he also would plant some violet flowers for her in the garden. And for the first time in forever, he and Mikasa, would be happy in their little nest outside the walls.
They would share a bed and would wake up together to see the rise of the sun with their legs tangled, with sweat running their naked bodies and with messy hair.
And he didn't mind it at all.
But life was a bitch with him and always has wanted to bite his ass. That's why he was remembering all his fear, anger and hollow-ness times in his life. Because in that fucking moment he had Mikasa's body, strangely still, above him. And he hadn't told her anything. He hadn't told her about their future house with a garden of violet flowers; he hadn't told her that they were going to see the rise of the sun every morning together, with holding hands and tangled (and sweaty) legs. He hadn't told her how important she was to him; how destiny had braid their lives together.
And he had never felt so much fear like in that moment.
He hadn't told her anything, and that bastard that was her uncle (or so Levi heichou had said) had hurt her with a gun in her stomach. But of course, that bullet wasn't for her, but for him. And Mikasa, being Mikasa had jumped to save him. Like always.
—Stupid, stupid, stupid— he muttered in her hair, inhaling her scent of cleanness and vanilla. She always remind him of home. —Don't you remember that I'm a fucking titan and I can heal?— his cheeks were soaked with tears and his shirt with her warm blood.
—Stupid bitch. What a waste of skills. She has to be Erik's daughter.— Eren didn't care about that bastard, the only thing he care in that moment was to feel her heart. He move her with extremely care to his side and placed his head in the valley of her chest. In other moment he would have flushed, but not in that moment. The only thing that happened to him was the ghost of a relieved smile.
BUM. BUM. BUM. BUM.
Her heart was beating.
She was still alive.
He was so relieved that she was still alive that his new tears were of happiness. He approached her ear and repeated the same words that he had told her six years ago. —Fight. If you lose, you die. If you win, you live. If you don't fight, you can't win! Fight, Mikasa, because if you win we will be together to see the rise of the sun, to see beyond the walls. Just, please, I beg you to fight and win.—
Then everything happened like a blur. Her uncle was prepared to shoot him in his head, and he was so focused in Mikasa ghostly face, that he didn't act. But, from one window the fast shadow of a men pushed away the bastard that had hurt Mikasa. Then, Armin and Jean —he didn't even had an idea of how or when they got there— were sitting beside him, touching Mikasa's neck, face and wound.
—We have to go, she need urgent medical attention.— He wasn't going to argue with Armin; every single word that the young boy said was true. Mikasa needed medical attention and it was now. He only nodded and tried to take Mikasa's body, but he couldn't. He was so fucking weak that he barely could stay in his two feet, and everything was because he hadn't eaten or moved his legs in days. So, Jean —"as if he would say no"— scooped Mikasa's body with so much care and tenderness that made Eren jealous of not being him who were in his place. He was relieved that they were going to make it alive, but he hated that it was going to be in this way. He, weak and fucked, barely standing with Armin's support, and Jean, like a fucking hero-prince from one of Armin's book, with Mikasa's body in his arms.
That wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to have Mikasa in his arms, this was the time when he had to protect her and finally show her that he could be as strong as her.
This wasn't fair.
But life is a bitch.
His body collapsed in the cart with Mikasa's body at his side. Jean and Armin had ran to help Levi's and the rest of the squad to get alive of all the shit in which they were involved. He looked at her, and for his surprise, she was watching him. She had tears in her eyes and the tiniest of the smiles. She was smiling at him. At him.
That made him happy.
He wanted to reprimand her for being so reckless, for putting his life before hers. For making him so fucking scared with the thought of losing her. But he didn't do it, because he was tired and happy that she was at his side; he didn't want to reprimand her (not now, anyway) for being her. So, with tired voice, he began, —I'm sorry I couldn't...—
—Thank you, Eren— she took his hands in hers and gave him a gentle squeeze. He blinked at her, confused. What the hell... —Thanks for saving my life again. For giving me a reason to fight when I was tired and just wanted to give up... Thank you.—
Mikasa had a thing for the farewells he had noted since Reiner, the traitor, had called a lot of titans and they were going to be killed. He hated goodbyes. He didn't like the idea of not seeing her anymore in his world. Yes, she could be a pain in the ass sometimes when she was in her over-protective mode, but that was how she demonstrated that she cared for him. And he understood it now.
—Mikasa, don't,— she looked at him, confused. Eren looked at her very sternly. —I'm going to said this only once, so listen to me,— he was fighting with his blush, so he put his most serious and indifferent face that he could manage. —You're not going to die, at least not now. You're going to fight and survive, because if you don't do it, who's going to take care of me when I'm sick? Who'll watch with me the rise of the sun every morning? Who'll help me plant the violet flowers in our garden? Who, Mikasa? Because I swear to the Walls that if isn't you, I don't have a fucking idea of who could do it, so enlighten me.—
He saw how Mikasa's bottom lip trembled, and then, there were more tears in her eyes. —Eren— she began with broken voice, —a-are you serious?— she squeezed his hands, trying to understand if what he had told her was the same thing that she was thinking. Her body was in so much pain, she could barely keep her eyes open.
—Didn't I told you that I was going to put that scarf in your neck every single time you need it? Didn't I told you that I was going to protect you and being with you since that moment to forever? Didn't I told you that, Mikasa?— She looked at him with so much hope, warm and love in her gray eyes that he felt his heart skip a beat. —I'm not a guy who goes around the walls promising to girls about a life together, am I?— he teased.
She shook her head with a faint smile. —No, you're not.—
He smiled. —I need you to fight and win, Mikasa. I need you alive for you, for me...for our future. I need you, so please, I beg you, don't stop fighting. Don't die. If death comes to you send her to fuck herself because you had someone here waiting for you. So, promise me that you're not going to die!—
Her smile was the most beautiful thing that he had seen in his life. It made him warm inside, and it made him want to just kiss her until they didn't have lips... until there wasn't anything more in the world... —I promise I'm going to fight, Eren. I promise that I'm going to win because I want to stay at your side forever. To continue protecting you, to take care of you when you're sick... And to watch the rise of the sun, and to help you plant the violet flowers in our garden. I promise, Eren, that I'm going to stick with you until the very end.—
A single tear ran in across his cheek. He was so fucking happy because he had told her, in his very own way, how much he cared for her. No, scratch that. How much he loved her. And she had promised to stick around him until the very end. —You better do, because I swear I'll follow you to hell and I'll kick your ass if you ever leave my side and die, do you understand?— That was his own way to say 'I love you, so please, please don't leave me, don't go to a place where I can't reach your hand' but he wasn't a cheesy kind of guy.
—As if you could— she mock him with a tired-playful smile. Everything ached in her body, but she didn't fucking care; she was just too happy to even care about the pain in her swollen body. She sigh, and approached his body, welcoming his warmth. He hug her very tight to his chest, and kiss her temple with tenderness.
He was happy because she had promised that she would stick around him until the end. And he knew, oh how he knew, that Mikasa wasn't a person to break promises. So, everything was going to be fine.
{Le Fin (?) }
Notes: I really really reallyyyy wish that you all have enjoyed this fic (?) oneshoot (?). It was kind of difficult because of the language and because of the OOC. I believe that Eren is this type of boy that he thinks that he doesn't have to say "I love you" or "You're important to me" because his actions talk about it. Is kind of difficult portrayed him because he's such a beautiful and complex character, just like Mikasa. Fuck, I love this couple with all my heart *ugly sobbing*
Anyway, I wish you all liked and please, send a review to know!
See ya!