We're twins.
We were born together, but I came first. I was the first to experience the outside dangers and prove survival. I inhaled and she exhaled.
In my mind, I am the one who protects her. I check to see that the coast is clear and give her a hand up. As we got older I realized that that wasn't enough. We were different, personality and interest wise, that I couldn't keep her close anymore. I had to push her.
After all, we were twins and not a mirror. Even if we were identical twins, I would want us to have different passions. To be exactly the same is boring.
Life isn't boring, so why should we?
It was exciting to see how our differences would mold.
Life provided and I pushed. Granted, the space between us became lonely. My role went from actively guarding to silently watching from afar.
That's because I'm still her older sister.
I may not be her shield 24/7, but I still encourage her and stay by her side. How far it may be.
It may be stubborn of me to be so pushy, but that's my job. No one gave it to me. I own it.
Now that we are both in our first year of high school, I find myself pushing her less. When it comes to extracurricular activities, academics, social life, and her personal passions, she has it all covered.
I also have everything under control, but even if I didn't I would still make sure she was alright.
Similar to me, my sister can also be stubborn. Stubborn where it most counts.
Her love life.
"Rein, I am not in love with him."
I held the urge to roll my eyes. As I floated in place, I focused on my kicking.
Her feelings were obvious. They were like the chlorine-scented water I was swimming in. When the lighting was just right, her feelings would sparkle.
"Fine, your face lights up when you are around him."
It was the truth. She could give me those suspicious eyes, but these aquamarine eyes of mine have seen it all. Whenever Fine was with him, her smile would widen and her cherry-red eyes gleamed.
"What are you talking about? We are constantly arguing."
I smiled at her before I sunk my head into the water and swam to the edge closest to her. My breath is caught underneath the still water until I resurface again. I cling to the wall after removing my goggles. It was so I could see her clearly. That way it'd be harder for her to suppress her true feelings.
"You're both soccer captains so you'll disagree on things."
I could see the triumphant smile revealing itself. She thinks I've given in. I'm not finished though.
"But that just means you guys are comfortable with each other."
I put all my upper body strength into pulling myself out. My sister says nothing because she knows I'm right. I crawl out of the pool and walked over to the bench where she sat. The look on her face as she stared up at me was priceless.
"Rein I'm not in love with Shade."
I stared into her unsteady eyes as she said this. They shined stubbornly, like rubies exposed to the light. She didn't want to admit it, but her flushed cheeks spoke louder than words.
Fine met Shade our first year of middle school. They were both in the after-school soccer program. From day one, Fine had challenged him. At the end of the day, she came home and complained how she lost against him and how she would surely beat him next time. This happened every day afterward. Soccer was and still remains her passion.
Now in high school, they were both the captains of their Junior Varsity soccer teams. She of the girl's soccer team and he the boy's soccer team.
In the beginning, I could tell that she disliked the separation of sexes. It was because she missed playing with him. Missed being around him.
Of course, she never said this out loud. It was evident in her eyes. The flame within the red irises still burned, but not as bright. It was because they weren't together.
When she found out that Shade wanted to become captain, she took the challenge as well. He was the fuel that brightened the flame in her eyes. After being accepted, as the girl's soccer junior varsity captain, she had shared responsibilities with the other soccer captains. Shade was also accepted as captain. Fine's passion for soccer returned.
However, something else awakened in her. A softer glowing fire swayed next to her passionate fire of soccer. The fire of love. She was too stubborn to acknowledge it. I had to coax it out of her.
It was going to be a long day.
A night had passed and it was early morning. I had accompanied Fine to school earlier than usual. No student to be found anywhere as we enter the empty campus grounds. Nobody would be here to witness Fine's important moment, but me. That is if her confidence doesn't fade before we get where we need to be.
"Rein, I can't do it."
"Yes, you can Fine."
I link my arm with hers and hold her tight. She wasn't escaping from me.
Last night she had admitted her feelings towards Shade. I then suggested that she confess. It was more forceful than I hoped it to be, but she was in denial. Finally, she shyly agreed to it after I kept persisting.
However, she looked scared now. Her eyes stared straight ahead like I was pulling her through a haunted house. If I let go she will run the opposite direction.
"What if he rejects me?"
I stopped walking and my arm went limp. My heart sank as I watched my characteristically cheerful sister stare downcast onto the ground. I hugged her immediately. As I held her, I could feel her slightly shaking. She was literally shaking with fear.
"Fine look at me."
She looked at me with fearful eyes. I inhaled at their severity. I had to push myself to be her strength.
"It'll hurt, but you'll be okay after a while."
Fine simply nodded.
It was the truth. In the end, I could only hope he reciprocates her feelings.
If things were to turn out bad, she would just try to endure it alone. A bright smile would hide her crushed heart. As nice as her smile looked, the ones closest to her will be able to see the heartbreak in her eyes.
However, whatever the outcome, I'd take responsibility.
Fine blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. She was downcast but smiling. It was uneasy, but I knew it meant new courage. It meant bravery.
I linked arms with her again and we continued walking towards the soccer field. Shade and Fine always prepared the equipment an hour before classes start. So we knew it'll just be them both. It was the perfect time to confess.
"Oh my gosh no."
Fine whispered next to me. I was suddenly pulled back behind the tree we just passed. We finally arrived at the field.
"Fine."
I harshly whispered her name. I stayed quiet to support her. I'm on her side, but if she kept this up she was going to be pushed.
Her pointer finger against my lip, she dared to hush me. I decide to look past our hiding place and see a familiar face walking out with orange cones in his arms. I grinned at the opportunity.
"Perfect."
I quickly positioned myself at her backside and pushed gently. I snapped as she stubbornly stood her ground. She was going down. Off course lovingly.
"Fine, what are you doing?"
I heard Shade call out to her. I may have pushed her too hard because she had to balance herself from almost falling over.
However, it got his attention.
She nervously laughed and composed herself before approaching him.
I'm peeking from behind the tree while holding onto the sturdy trunk. Just like this faithful tree, I wasn't going anywhere.
She reached him and I curse quietly to myself. I can't hear anything.
They appear to be conversing so it looks good so far.
He finished talking and she didn't continue.
My romantic heart flutters immensely.
This is it.
I can't contain the smile on my face as she fidgets in place. I've never seen my sister get so flustered around a boy. She hasn't said anything, but I want to squeal.
Then it happened. I've seen countless romance movies to know what those lips were saying.
I like you Shade.
I had to cup my mouth because the squeal almost spilled. It wasn't helping that Shade was smiling at her.
He nervously scratched the back of his neck. His flustered smile made it too good to be true. It was definite that he would reciprocate her feelings.
96% sure.
I only gave it 4% doubt since I had to be somewhat realistic.
I like you too Fine.
I let it out. The squeal escaped and I quickly checked to see if they heard me. I held my breath.
However, they were so wrapped up in their lovely discovery, that they hadn't heard me.
With that, I exhaled and made my triumphant exit. My work here was done.
I was so happy that I could start skipping. I wasn't going to because I'm a highschooler and I had to keep my calm.
However, age wouldn't stop me from replaying the scene in my head and smiling like a fool. My little sister has a boyfriend.
How nice it must be to like someone. I always wonder when I would find my first love. True love.
Unlike my sister, I was the hopeless romantic. I was the one who read and watched the romance movies. Fine was the one who always had to hear me retell them and the one forced to watch them with me. After all those times of love disinterest, Fine was the one who found it first.
I didn't see it coming. It seemed natural to think that I would be the first one to find love. I always imagined scenarios of her finding someone, but they always ended with her choosing soccer over him. I guess it helps that Shade is as passionate about soccer as her. If he were to asked to choose between soccer and a girl, he would definitely choose soccer. That is what makes them perfect for each other. They would never ask the other to choose.
Fine found someone right for her. I'm not upset about the order of things. I'm the oldest and I've always been the first in most things, but I don't mind being second this time.
I would rather not find anyone then settle for anyone. I want the truest of loves. I want to experience the heartache of wanting to be by someone's side. Not because I can't live without them, but I can see a future with them. I guess I'm a little old-fashioned, but that's what I want. I want a real relationship. Not a fling.
I believe that Fine found that.
Now it's my-
My train of thought was abruptly stopped by a physical wall in my path. Then the wall spoke.
"Hey, you okay?"
I looked up at him. Distracted with my hopes and dreams for love, I hadn't paid attention. I walked into the last guy I expected.
"Lance."
The forest green haired school hunk was staring right at me. His beautiful chocolate brown eyes gazed at me with an indecent intention. That snapped me back to my senses.
"It's Rein, isn't it."
It wasn't even a question but almost a request. His playful smirk was irksome. Even if he was physically handsome, his personality wasn't. I had seen him from afar, but never up this close.
Lance is the devilish conman of dating. He was currently a Junior but he had a way of wooing girls from every grade. Many girls have fallen for his romantic tricks and have had their hearts broken. When I think of all those poor girls, it's hard to hide the distaste in my voice.
"Yes."
I watched as he looked me over with his expired chocolate eyes. They were dangerous if consumed. It gave me chills so I didn't look directly into them.
"Sorry for bumping into you."
I tried to say that with the kindest intention I could muster. It came out forced and fake, but since he's also fake it didn't seem to bother him. I was going to take my leave since he was distracted by my voice and no longer looking me up and down.
"Wait."
I didn't want to, but I thought it couldn't hurt to hear him out. Maybe he would apologize and I can then be on my way.
Keeping a few feet distance, I stood to the side of him. I wasn't going to stand in full view for him to look me over again. He'd get the side view.
"You're cute Rein."
It was not what I was expecting. It chilled me to the bone. There was not an ounce of flush in my cheeks. I think if I were animated, my face would turn sickly blue.
"Uh, thanks."
As shrewd as it was, it was a compliment. I wanted to leave and forget this ever happened. This guy should just be himself and leave disinterested. I wouldn't be offended.
"Would you like to be my girlfriend?"
I audibly gasped. We were now facing each other, a few feet in between us. He looked confused towards me and I just stared dumbfounded.
I felt horrified. This guy actually confessed to me and was showing a decent demeanor. If I wasn't sickened by his previous grossly flirtatious behavior then I would have surely fallen for that. I only had one thing to say to him.
"No."
I said it with conviction. There was no way I would hesitate or fidget. I kept my gaze intensely towards him.
He widened his deceiving eyes at me. His perfect eyebrows rose in his astonishment. I had dismissed him and that perked his interest. I could see it in his eyes.
"You can't be serious?"
I narrowed my eyes to make up for the lacking seriousness.
"I will not go out with you."
I no longer wanted to leave. I stood upright and feet firm to the ground. He would take me seriously.
I'm a dreamer of love, but I also had standards.
"I would never go out with you."
He looked straight at me and I could tell he saw it. His smile turned into a frown the moment he saw the truth conveyed in my expression. Especially in my clear aquamarine eyes.
His face was still, but his eyes were unsteady and conflicted. I had bruised his pride. It would leave a colorful mark.
"Why would you say that?"
I could hear the angered tone he failed to suppress. He had his reputation to uphold. Since it was only the two of us, I suppose it was mainly for himself.
However, I also had pride.
"You are a heartless liar."
It was the most appropriate, but cruelest way to put it.
I had to muster the courage within my prideful stance because of Lance's glare. The facade of his charisma disappeared and all that remained was anger fueled by humiliation. It was terrifying.
"You'll regret you said that."
My rapid heartbeat echoed in my ears. It shook me senseless and I stood paralyzed. I was scared. I showed fear and he smirked with cowardice triumph.
He finally walked away with a strange grin on his face and too late, it dawned on me.
I had made a grave mistake in taking on the prideful lion.
I had made myself the prey.
I stood on the edge of the poolside. I took my position at the starting point. The middle lane belonged to me and I would race to the end.
I was racing myself since I there was no one else. There was no one to watch me or even time me. I had no score to beat at the moment, but I had the urge to swim fast.
I stepped off and dove right in. The cold water electrocuted my skin with icy chills and spiked my senses. I began my strokes slowly and gradually quickened the pace. Breathing was my only concern and nothing else. One stroke after the other, I escaped harsh reality and sank into the fluid adrenaline rush of the water race.
My distance was coming up short. It let me know that I should prepare to continue the lap. I somersaulted under the water and turned my body to then push off the wall. I continued my race again and headed back to the start.
Once again I kept my thoughts only on breathing. With every stroke, my arms reached out for the end.
The irony of it was that I didn't want to reach the end. To reach the end meant facing reality. I wanted to stay in the continuous movement of my escape. The water was my safe haven.
I had braced myself for the end and touched the solid wall.
It was the end of the day and I needed this escape. I hadn't been in the water for three days now. Usually, I swim after school every day during the school week.
However, these past few days I haven't felt like it.
Swim season hasn't started yet, but I like to get in the practice. I usually swim for fun, but these past three days have been stressful.
Lance was the cause of my stress.
Ever since our encounter, I'd become victim to his indirect harassment.
It started with nasty notes being slipped inside the slots of my locker. The written notes mocked their elegant penmanship.
Throughout the first day, I received multiple awful notecards inside my locker. I never found out who was doing it so at the end of that day I decided to cover the slots from the inside. The consistent name calling had drained me. I didn't want to carry the harmful words so I went straight home after letting Fine know. I just told her I was tired and wanted to go home. She didn't need to the actual reason.
On the second day, the notes traveled from the darkness of my small locker to the storage space inside my desk. I then knew it had to be someone from my class, but I couldn't tell who it was. Everyone acted indifferent to my dilemma. There was no way I could tell who was doing it.
It was when I went to the restroom, in between classes, that I realized I was being followed. Outside the stall I occupied, there was a group of girls giggling. As soon as I flushed the toilet the group shuffled out of the restroom before I could even open the door. I found red lipstick handwriting on the mirror wall. It was another heart-wrenching message. I didn't know who those girls, but I knew why they were doing this.
They were supporters of Lance.
In every one of my classes, they skillfully planted a new note in my designated seat. The next note worse than the last. Finally, it was the last class of the day, I hesitated to open the desktop. I couldn't bring myself to look, but I needed my notebook. My eyes were drawn to the new note.
STUPID WHORE.
I still remember the choking hold those two words had on me. There was a nasty ball stuck inside my throat that I dared not let out. I would not let myself cry because these words held no truth.
However, it was still painful.
From my seat in the back of the class, I could see the smiles on their faces. It was obvious to me that the girls who sat near the front were the culprits to my despair.
As soon as the class was over, I bolted out of my seat and headed straight home. I only texted Fine this time that I wouldn't stay after school. I still remember the miserable single tear that fell down my cheek as I hurried down the street to my home.
Things got physical on the third day. There were no notes inside my locker nor inside my desk.
However, they continued with their cruel treatment.
When I would enter rooms I would almost get slammed by the door they purposely released. Walking through the row of seats they would sneak their foot out for me to trip over. During passing hour they would bump into me "accidentally". At the end of the day, I found myself rushing down the hallway. I had wanted to go home. One of the girls used my speed to mask her perfect shove. The impact was strong enough to push me to the ground.
She then offered her hand to me. The apologetic smile she had was plastic. Her lying eyes didn't match her sugar-coated apology.
I wasn't fooled.
I refused her hand and instead picked up my belongings. I stood up on my own and continued down the hallway. I avoided eye contact with everyone I passed.
I was boiling hot with humiliation. The only relief to this embarrassment would be to swim. That was why instead of going home, I headed towards my school's indoor pool.
Before changing clothes I had quickly texted Fine that I was staying after school to swim. That way she could visit me like she usually did.
The water felt relaxing as it trickled down my face. My hair was wrapped up tightly in my swim cap so I didn't feel the wet strands plastered on my face, neck, and shoulders. It was freeing.
I let out a tired sigh. It was exhausting to keep everything to myself.
However, I wasn't going to tell anyone about it. Especially not Fine.
Compared to mine, her week was a dream. Her and Shade were now a couple and were experiencing the clumsy beginnings of a new relationship. It was what kept me going these past few days. Her happiness manifested into my strength that endured the hate.
I couldn't bother her or anyone with the pitiful nonsense. It would pass.
An hour had passed since I entered the pool water. I needed a break so I crawled out.
However, I wasn't ready to leave the water completely.
I turned my body into a sitting position and let my feet dangle inside the water. The water left the bottom half of my legs and feet with a tingling sensation. It was almost numbing, but it comforted me.
The water takes away the bad thoughts and lets them float away.
However, in this closed space of the pool, they didn't get too far.
That was why I preferred the beach. There the sea was limitless. The sky's the limit, but the ocean's limit is incomprehensible. My worries would forever be lost in the deep.
I felt tired but calmer. The swim had been the temporary cure to my humiliating day.
I stood up, out of the water and walked into the women's changing rooms. It was time to call it a day.
After a quick rinse to get the chlorine off, I headed to my individual locker. In the midst of my clothes swap, I was overcome with the intense need to pee. Leaving my stuff, I quickly walked over to the closest toilet stall inside the changing room.
I heard distant giggling inside the room. It fell silent right after. My heart pounded at the memory.
I finished up and went to wash my hands while suspiciously checking my surroundings. I couldn't see anyone. I was the only one inside the changing room.
I walked slowly back to my spot in the locker aisle. There was no one around, but my eyes still lingered behind me.
Then I looked down at my stuff.
My stuff was missing.
I inhaled sharply to the nothingness.
Panic raced through me and I felt disoriented. I continued to stare at the spot where I had left my stuff last.
My school bag with my phone was missing. My clothes including my swimsuit were taken.
The girly laughter echoed in my mind. There was someone here with me. They took all my stuff and left me bare.
The chill of the situation left me cold. It didn't help that I was only wearing my bra and underwear. I hugged myself for warmth.
I was stuck in the lockers until someone came to find me.
I thought that this horrible week was over. Instead, it had gotten worse.
I inhaled slowly. My little drummer boy heart was loudly beating at my chest. It was too much to stand so I sat down. My whole body was tense.
There was a flash of light that caught my attention. It had followed a patronizing clicking sound. It was the same noise my phone camera made when I took my selfies.
My breath quickened and the beating tripled inside my chest. My ears were ringing with the white noise my heart resonated.
I turned to both sides of the locker aisle. There was no one there that I could see.
I stood up and started walking towards one end. Another camera shot clicked behind me.
I shot a glance behind me and heard it again in front of me.
My legs trembled like a scared antelope. The tigresses paparazzi were closing in on me, but they stayed hidden. I needed to escape.
I stood very still in the silence. My fear induced senses heard the small shuffling of steps. It came from the next aisle.
I jolted towards the door. My naked legs ran quick.
Gripping the door handle I released myself out of the trap. I was in open grounds and had to leap into the safety of the water.
Without stopping I leaped and broke through the surface. The water welcomed me back.
I gasped for air. I had lunged inward without a second thought.
Then I saw him.
Lance was sitting on the ground at the side of the pool. His smile left me frozen inside the water. An ice cube trapped inside a water glass. My heartbeat was fast and my lungs couldn't keep up. It was hard to breathe.
"Hi, Rein."
I couldn't say anything. My body was so tense that it was a miracle that I was still floating.
"Do you know what I've got here?"
He showed off his cell phone with the screen facing me. I only stared at it.
"Take a guess."
My mind was blank. I felt the ground underneath me slip away. There was no ground in the deep pool, but I still lost it. I was drifting away slowly.
"I don't know."
His smile was so smug that I was certain the bodily shiver I felt was the response to it. He switched the screen over to himself and tapped a couple times on the screen. Turning it over again, I saw a movie playing. I didn't know what to make of it until I heard the loud splash.
He had recorded me. Mortified, my face slackened.
Everything was planned accordingly. The girls were probably the ones who took my clothes and scared me out with camera noises. Who knew if they took any real pictures of me, but the main goal was to get me out. They had succeeded and he had filmed my escape. I had fallen into the beast's trap.
"I won't show anybody."
The hope in those words kept me sane enough not to cry. I looked at his face and regretted the hopefulness that my heart yearned for. From where I was, I could see the sinister intention in his eyes.
"Of course, that is if you agree to go out with me."
Holding the bitter tears, I let my head fall and stared downcast at the water. All this pain for his stupid pride. I hated it, but I still held onto the last strand of my own pride.
I didn't want to give up.
"You bastard!"
It was a surprise, but relief washed over me. Fine's voice had a fierce harshness that pierced the suffocating tension. I've never heard her this way.
Fine ran up to where Lance was. It happened so fast that I didn't consider the dangers of her rash actions. She reached the edge of the pool and slipped. The wet floor made her lose balance, but she didn't fall.
Lance's chuckle dripped with sarcasm. He grabbed my precious little sister's arm and held tightly.
The ice began to thaw when my blood began to flow aggressively through my body. I was no longer frozen.
"Leave her alone!"
I felt my jaw clench. I glared at him. If I lost focus, he might see that as weakness and strike.
"Aren't you that soccer chick?"
He ignored my shout and talked to her. She kept her eyes on him. Steady and unafraid.
I was afraid. My heart trembled for her.
"And you're definitely the asshole who is blackmailing my sister!"
Fine spat at him. She had heard everything. She had charged at him. The disgusted look on her face was for him.
He smirked evilly at her and looked at me. The cold wave of dread stiffened me.
"Rein, you didn't tell me you had a sister."
He sounded so cheeky. It was so alien in this tense situation.
I watched in horror as he pulled her closer to his face. She leaned as far as she could, but his grip tightened on her arm. She couldn't escape. I couldn't do anything.
"Fine!"
The new masculine voice shouted her name. Shade had been the one who called out.
I looked from Shade who was quickly approaching them to Fine who continued to struggle in Lance's grip.
Then Lance let go.
"Fine!"
I screamed as she splashed through the water surface. The adrenaline inside of me was strong. I used it to get to her. I had to hurry because she didn't know how to swim.
I dove under and strained my eyes open. The chlorine stung my eyes, but I could still see her. Fine's body was dropping lower to the bottom. Her body was limp and that just pushed me to swim faster. As I got closer, I stretched my arm eagerly for her. I grabbed onto her arm and positioned myself behind her. I then proceeded to pull her up.
I gasped once again for air. Fine started choking and spitting out the pool water. She was wet and cold, but I was able to save her.
Fine was clinging onto me as she tried to stay afloat. When I checked to see that she was okay I looked over to where Lance was.
"Shade."
I barely managed to call out his name. I was awestruck to see that Shade had perfectly pinned Lance down to the ground. His frown showed that he was annoyed, but his eyes were furious. I felt nervous staring at them from the side view. I could only imagine the increased intensity at full view.
Lance tried to pry him off, but Shade had a firm grip on his collar. The shirt tightened up around the area where Shade held on. It was a very strong hold.
I realized that Lance was only fighting back with one arm and holding his cellphone away from Shade's reach. However, Shade wasn't reaching for it.
"His phone."
I was so out of breath that I managed to say only those two words. Shade had gotten the message and skillfully snatched the device from Lance. He didn't bother looking at the screen or examining its contents before dropping it into the water.
Lance was released and he just stared flabbergasted at the water.
I felt a small ember of warmth as I held Fine steady. I felt a tingly sensation all over. It was rejuvenating.
"You're pathetic Lance."
I glanced over at my sister who spoke boldly.
"Blackmailing a girl to go out with you is cowardly."
I wanted to cry, but I couldn't lose myself. I was still holding Fine afloat.
Lance glared at my sister and I saw that my sister glared right back. Shade surprised both of us and grabbed Lance's shirt collar again.
"Also forcefully trying to kiss a girl and then causing her to fall in the water. Especially right in front of her boyfriend."
In channeled anger, Shade punched Lance's face. It was a powerful strike to the cheek and it pushed him back. Lance ran for the door after stumbling a few feet back.
He was gone.
My heart finally felt at ease.
"You girls okay?"
Shade offered his hand and I let Fine go first. He pulled her up into a quick hug.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, just wet."
They were so cute.
I stayed in the water. I was too embarrassed to expose myself again. Then Fine looked back at me. Her eyes were sympathetic and it pained me.
"Shade could you get us a towel?"
Shade stood up and walked away without complaint. He quickly retrieved two towels and returned. He then handed them both to Fine.
I still didn't make an effort to get out. Fine smiled reassuringly and it made me feel even more embarrassed. I wanted to dunk my head underneath and never come out.
"Shade, please turn around and don't look."
The boy once again didn't complain and did what he was told. He was a good guy.
I slowly pulled myself out and knelt down on the platform. I felt the dry fuzzy towel being draped over my shoulders. I quietly thanked my sweet sister and clung the ends closer to my body.
"Okay, we're good now."
Fine spoke to Shade. He turned around and frowned as he looked at her.
"Fine, the towel."
"It's fine. I don't need it."
The towel was snatched out of her hands. Shade proceeded to wrap her tightly in it.
"You are soaking wet. Do you want to get sick?"
He worried for her like I did. It was proof that my little sister had someone else to take care of her. I wasn't the only one anymore. It left a sad tear at my heart. A tiny one though.
"Rein?"
I glanced up and looked away. Fine's face was very serious and her eyes gazed at me intensely. I held tighter to my towel.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
I swallowed hard. I avoided eye contact. I felt so ashamed. Not because I didn't tell her, but that she found out. At the time, I was grateful for her timing. Especially with Shade, but now I wished she hadn't. It was complicated.
"Rein!"
I jumped. She had shouted at me. I looked at her and saw the angry lines on her forehead. However, her ruby eyes were soft. She was concerned for me.
"Why do you keep it to yourself?"
This time she spoke softly. She was accusing me, but it was accurate. There was no lie in her claim. I had taken the burden all on my own.
"I didn't think it mattered."
It surprised me. The words spilled out before I could check myself. I couldn't believe that was what I really felt. My heart clenched at the miserable truth I kept to myself.
"Of course it mattered because you matter to me."
I stared at her and my heart clenched up. Her smile was so sweet and welcoming that I couldn't contain myself anymore. The tears fell without restraint.
"I was scared."
I began to softly sob where I stood. My gaze was still focused on Fine, but I could barely see her through the blur of tears. Everything felt limp, but I continued to stand. Fine hugged me immediately as my sobs gradually got louder.
The comforting feel of her embrace made me weak. I cried harder and rested my head on her shoulder. I felt a strong hand on my head. It was Shade's hand. It just broke me even further. I was so exhausted from the endurance that I collapsed in her arms.
Fine and I knelt down together because my weight was dragging us down. I could no longer stand and she was the only thing supporting me. She was my support as much as I was hers. My broken heart started to mend in the warmth of her embrace.
I felt safe. My heart was beating normally now. It's steady beat soothed my tired mind. The flowing tears were therapeutic. I didn't feel tense or trapped anymore.
I could breathe again.
