Disclaimer: I do not own the Winchesters, their property, their friends or their enemies (unless I made them up). If you recognise something it's probably not mine.
A/N: This is just a little something I wrote very quickly to jumpstart my writing after my holiday (vacation, whatever).
He's four years old and he wants his mommy. Daddy says she's gone but he knows that's not true. He hears her singing to him at night when Daddy thinks he's asleep. He sees her in the shadows and she makes him feel better when he's sad.
He doesn't tell Daddy any of this though, because when he tried to tell him Mommy was saying goodnight to Sammy, Daddy just smiled sadly and told him to go to bed. So now he doesn't say anything much at all.
Except to Mommy. And Sammy.
Because they listen to him. Sam knows Mommy's here too. Dean knows this with all the certainty a four year old can muster. It doesn't matter that Sam is only a baby who just gurgles and cries. Dean can see it in his eyes. Sammy can see and hear her, just like he can.
Now if only he could get Daddy to understand.
Then comes the day he sees her in town. Daddy says he needs to go shopping, there's no food in the house and Sam is out of diapers. Daddy makes a joke about Child Services, but Dean doesn't understand it. He smiles anyway, hoping to please Daddy, hoping to make Daddy smile a bit longer.
Daddy doesn't smile much any more. Dean's only little but he notices things like that. He's noticed that Sammy can make him smile, looking at a book of photos makes him smile, he's got a bundle of paper that makes him smile. Dean doesn't know what's written on that paper. Every time he gets close, Daddy puts them away and Dean can see his eyes are wet. Dean's too little to understand how it happens, but those papers make Daddy happy and sad all at the same time.
So they bundle into the car for the first time since that night, the night Mommy went away, and Daddy makes sure they're comfortable and safe. Mommy never let them go out after dark but Daddy doesn't seem to care it's past bedtime for both him and Sammy. Dean thinks it's a bit of an adventure but he's a little bit scared too. He won't say anything though, he doesn't want to make Daddy sad again.
Daddy doesn't want the boys in the supermarket with him. Dean recognises the shop. He used to come here with Mommy but she never, ever left him in the car. She used to let him run up and down the aisles, getting under everyone's feet. Mommy used to laugh and say people didn't mind because he was such a cutie. Daddy though, he wants Dean to stay in the car and look after Sammy. Dean wants to think it's because his baby brother is asleep and Daddy doesn't want to wake him up, but a little part of him thinks it's because Daddy doesn't want him getting in the way.
So he nods, and smiles, hiding his disappointment behind tired eyes. He'll look after Sammy and he'll be a good boy for Daddy. He won't be scared and he won't fall asleep, even though Daddy said that was okay, he'll lock the doors so they'll be safe.
But once they're on their own in the car, Dean presses his nose to the window and watches the twilight world he was never allowed to be part of when Mommy was still here. He's fascinated by the men and women trudging back and forth with their shopping trolleys packed full of groceries, some in pairs, some alone, one or two groups of families.
The family groups make Dean sad again and he wishes Mommy was here with them. And then it seems to him there is a fairy godmother after all. Because there she is, across the parking lot. And she's smiling at him.
He knows Daddy said to stay in the car but this is Mommy. He can't ignore her, he won't ignore her. He knows how to unlock the car and Mommy would never let anything happen to him.
His little legs carry him across the distance, but when he gets there, Mommy has moved. But that's okay. It's a game and she's smiling at him and beckoning with one hand. Maybe she wants to take him to a different shop, one with toys and candy and she'll spoil him and say sorry for being gone so long. So he smiles and runs in her direction.
But when he gets there, she's moved again and he can't see her at all now. And he doesn't know where the car is now either. It's dark and he's confused and a little scared. He wants to get back to the car because that's where Mommy will be, he's sure of it. He isn't going to cry. Not yet. He'll find the car, it can't be that hard. No-one else has car like Daddy's. Daddy always says it's so it's easy to spot in a crowd.
Thing is, Dean isn't very big and he can't see the cars very well from where he is. So he wanders around the parking lot, ignoring the looks he's getting from strangers, losing track of where he is and feeling more and more scared all the time.
The hand on his shoulder frightens the life out of him but when he turns his head up he sees it's only Daddy and that should make him feel better but Daddy doesn't look happy. He doesn't look sad either. He looks scared and angry and the first words out of his mouth are sharp and harsh. Dean's confused though. What does Daddy mean, where has he been? He's been playing with Mommy but when he tries to explain Daddy just looks at him funny and tells him it's time to go home.
The next day Daddy tells Dean they're going to see someone who can help him and after that Dean never sees Mommy again.