A/N: This is rewrite of an older story of mine I had submitted to this site years ago and never got around to finishing. I wound up disliking it so much I eventually just took it down. After recently rereading it, I feel it's a shame to leave it incomplete, and it's a good excuse to get back into the swing of writing again, so here it is. This story takes place within season 1 cannon, and I guess at this point can just be considered AU. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1

"Unrequited"

Sissi stormed into her dorm room and slammed the door behind her. Tears were spilling down her cheeks, and she threw herself onto her bed and buried her face into the pillow, breaking down into heavy sobs. She had never felt so horrible in all her life. She was furious, humiliated, but above all else there was the terrible aching in her heart. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't he love her the way she love him?

At the time it had seemed like such a perfect plan. Ulrich Stern had gotten himself detention earlier that day, following an incident in the science lab during their fifth period Biology class. His sentence, janitorial duty to be served after classes, which meant that he would be alone and, more importantly, away from a certain Yumi Ishiyama. The opportunity had simply been too irresistible to ignore. All she had to do was show up, squeeze Ulrich into a tight corner, and put on the old Sissi charm. With Yumi out of the way and no other distractions between them, it would only be a matter of time before she finally broke through his resistance once and for all. It was simply a matter of wearing him down, stripping away his defenses piece by piece until he could no longer hide his true feelings from her. Unfortunately, like so many other plans before, it was only destined to blow up in her face.

It was in that same classroom that the opportunity had presented itself. She had slipped in on her darling while he was serving mop duty in the deserted science lab and had managed to pin Ulrich between herself and one of the room's sturdy lab benches, putting on her most charming persona as she tried to sweet talk him into submission. She had been prepared for resistance—there always was with the stubborn boy, even relishing the challenge it would bring, but what ultimately followed she could never have been prepared for. She had been unyielding in her persistence, certain that Ulrich would cave if only she could push him hard enough. Only instead he had completely lost his temper and had unleashed himself on her in an explosion of rage. The next thing she knew, it was she who was pinned down as Ulrich loomed over her, his arms braced on either side of her, hands gripping the lab bench behind her with white-knuckle force as he bored into her with a look that was pure loathing.

She had seen Ulrich angry before on so many countless occasions it was practically routine, but this had been something entirely different. It was the first time she had ever been truly terrified of him. His words came in a torrent of swift, vicious insults, tearing into her in a way she couldn't possibly have imagined. He wouldn't let her go until he had poured every bit of hate he felt into her, then he stormed off in a fury, leaving her alone and broken. It had taken every bit of strength she had to keep from collapsing to the floor in tears right then and there.

After a time her tears had finally run dry, and Sissi was left feeling worn and empty. She turned wearily onto her back, clutching her now damp pillow tightly against her chest, and she wiped the tear stains from her face and swept away the matted strands of hair that clung wetly to her skin, trying to recover her appearance as best she could. A heavy sigh poured out of her as she sank into her bed, settling a glazed stare onto the ceiling overhead. It didn't take long for her thoughts to find him again, like an inescapable tide rolling in to bathe the sands of her mind in his very essence.

Why did she have to love him? Why couldn't it have just stayed some silly childhood fixation? It would have made things so much easier. From the moment she had first laid eyes on Ulrich, Sissi had been irresistibly drawn to him. At first it had been simple fascination. It was his quiet, brooding demeanor that had first caught her attention, the cold indifference with which he confronted the world around him. Sure, he was handsome—oh yes, he was indeed handsome—but more than that there was an air of mystery around him, an aura of secrecy begging to be explored. His resistance to her early attempts to glimpse beneath that stoic facade only fueled her interest in him all the more. Interest would eventually grow into obsession. She desperately wanted to know what kind of boy lay beneath such iron defenses.

But that had only been the catalyst for what was to follow. In time Ulrich would slowly begin to open up to her. Perhaps he was simply being nice to her, or perhaps he was just worn down by her endless pestering, but to her, each time he would grudgingly share with her some new, private detail about himself or his life, each time he would allow his defenses to slip even the tiniest bit when they were together, it felt like she was being given something precious, a privileged gift meant specially for her. It was easy for her silly young mind to imagine there was some deeper meaning behind those gestures. Of course it had to mean they had become close, obviously so much closer than mere friends. Why else would he choose her to open himself up to when he would do so with no one else? Soon she would convince herself that it must mean that he liked her and that he clearly wanted her to know it too. Then she would realize that she liked him as well.

After that she was completely devoted him.

Now there was no turning back, no changing the course of her heart, no undoing the iron grip that Ulrich's mere existence now had on her. She was in love with him. It was that simple. She could no more turn off her feelings for him than she could snuff out the light of the sun. But he didn't love her back, that much was clear. Quite the contrary, he seemed to openly despised her, all too happy to remind her again and again that she wasn't good enough for him, wasn't even good enough for anyone. But he didn't know, couldn't know, how she really felt about him, how much she genuinely cared about him, how desperately she wanted to be a part of what made him happy, those precious secrets she wouldn't dare utter aloud. Perhaps if he did he wouldn't choose to be so horrible to her.

But it was obvious he didn't think she was capable of such feelings. Her reputation as the school monster was set in stone; she was just a cruel and heartless bitch, after all, incapable of loving anyone other than herself, and everyone knew it. It was no surprise then, when no matter how hard she tried to get close to him, he would only drive her away. And his stupid friends were never any help either, all too eager to join in on the Sissi bashing parade that never ceased to follow her everywhere she went. Odd was certainly the worst of the three, always ready to throw an insult her way even when she was only passing by, like her mere presence was somehow unbearably offensive. At least Jeremie tried to be more civil than the others, but even he was capable of some pretty cutting remarks when the mood suit him.

And then there was Yumi.

At the thought Sissi was overcome with bitter hatred, and she wrenched the fabric of her pillow in her grip as a wave of fury surged through her. Yumi, the girl who had come out of nowhere and stolen Ulrich's heart without even trying. Somehow she had managed to do effortlessly what Sissi had been striving for years to accomplish. She had slipped right through Ulrich's barriers and had gotten close enough to see all the most intimate parts of him, the parts that were supposed to be meant for her. And now she had him wrapped around her finger, so intoxicated by her that he no longer even gave Sissi any thought. His devotion to her was absolutely infuriating. He would never look at Sissi the way he looked at her.

The anger quickly bled away until Sissi was left feeling utterly hollow inside. Her grip on the pillow went slack as the strength fled her body and she simply held it limply against her. The pain was creeping it's way back into her now, hot and piercing and relentless. The edges of her vision began go blurry, but she fought back the tears this time, furiously scrubbing her face with her palms to keep the touch of moisture off her skin.

How stupid she felt. So very stupid. It was obvious why Ulrich didn't love her. It was never about her reputation. They had been acquainted well before that particular stain had ever emerged on her life. The bitter truth was he had simply never had feeling for her to begin with. There was no denying it. He had only ever been indulging her, just a silly little girl with a crazy infatuation who could never seem to take the hint that she wasn't wanted. And when he had found something better he had discarded her without a second thought, like their friendship had meant absolutely nothing, like she meant absolutely nothing. But still, how could he be so cruel to her? Did he really hate her that much? Was she really that repulsive to him? Maybe she was. How many countless times had he publicly humiliated her, told her how stupid and ugly and worthless he thought she was while laughing about it along with all his friends? Yet there had been those rare moments where he had actually been nice to her, moments when she could have sworn she saw genuine affection in those lovely brown eyes of his. If only there was some way she could know the answer for sure, if she could tell if Ulrich had any feelings for her hidden away beneath that cold exterior of his, maybe not love, but something that, with a little nurturing, could be coaxed into it.

Maybe if he knew how she truly felt about him. Perhaps then he might finally open his heart to her.

An overwhelming conviction took hold of her then, and all at once Sissi knew what she had to do. She had to know without any doubt where Ulrich stood on his feelings for her, and the only way she could be sure he would give her a sincere answer was if she laid her own heart bare to him. She couldn't delude herself anymore. The thought of absolute rejection terrified her, but then again, where was she now? Where had her silly fantasies gotten her after all this time? And so she sat herself upright and looked resolutely towards the door. She couldn't keep going on like this. She couldn't keep torturing herself because she was too scared to hear what the true answer might be. She had to find out the truth once and for all. She was going to find Ulrich and she was going to confess everything.

With look of determination Sissi abandoned her bed and moved purposefully to her wardrobe, snatching up a jacket and throwing it briskly over her shoulder. She made a brief stop by her vanity to quickly freshening up her appearance, careful to remove any signs that she had been sulking. When she was satisfied with her appearance she charged resolutely out the door.

Before this day was over, Ulrich would know exactly how she felt, and she would finally know, once and for all, how he really felt about her.

The night was clear and brisk, the stars shimmering brightly in the cloudless sky as the waxing moon cast a muted glow over the now deserted grounds of Kadic Academy. On a lone wooden bench, hidden away in seclusion in a distant corner of the campus grounds, a boy and girl sat shoulder to shoulder, their voices low and hushed against the surrounding quiet.

Had he been asked to give a description of the perfect girl Ulrich Stern would have described Yumi Ishiyama right down to the smallest detail. She so was unlike any other girl he had ever know, a league of her own, an army of one, stubborn, confident, strong willed and loyal to the end. He had had feelings for her ever since he had first met her back in his first year at Kadic, the tall, slender Japanese girl with the stubborn attitude and the fiery temper, a girl who would hardly give him the time of day. Five years had past since he had first looked into the face of that girl, a face that had since matured into a mask of such stunning beauty that could steal his breath away without her even trying. How long he had wanted to tell her how he felt about her? How many times were the words just on his lips, ready to bust fourth and betray everything he hid from her, his endless affection for her, his longing for more than just simple friendship between them, his utter devotion to her that would have him face down mortal danger if it meant keeping her safe from harm?

And how many times had he chickened out? He never could manage to summon the confidence within himself to move forward with Yumi. It always felt like his relationship with her was something fragile, that he simply couldn't trust himself to handle it with anything but the gentlest care, lest it shatter like brittle glass. But here she was now, sitting next to him, their hands gently intertwined between them, as close to her as he could have ever hoped to be. It was a symbol of how far they'd come, and of the possibilities that lay before them.

He emerged abruptly from his thoughts at the feeling of his companion stirring beside him and he looked over to see Yumi gazing at him inquisitively, those pretty eyes of hers studying his features keenly and the corners of her lips curled in subtle amusement. He felt the skin of his cheeks warm under her gaze and was grateful for the darkness of the night.

"What?"

"You had this big goofy grin on your face," Yumi said in the company of giggles, "and your eyes were miles away. Just what were you thinking about exactly."

Ulrich's skin flushed even hotter and an awkward smile crossed his own lips. He returned his gaze to the stars overhead. "Oh, I was just, you know, thinking back to when we first met." He chuckled then and looked her way. "Remember how much trouble I went through trying to get you to like me?"

Yumi pulled a face. "Yeah, not the proudest time of your life." She grinned good-naturedly at him and then stared off into the distance with a dreamy look. "I swore that I was going to kill you, the way you always kept stalking me. You always kept turning up again and again every time I thought I had gotten rid of you for good. You were so annoyingly persistent. I must have threatened you at least a thousand times. Of course," she set her eyes back on Ulrich, filled with warmth and affection, "I'm glad you didn't give up, or I might have never got a chance to know what a great person you really were. Though you certainly were a glutton for punishment," she added with a mocking grin. "I'm sure most boys would have given up after having their arm dislocated...twice."

Ulrich winced as he recalled those two painful incidents, both of which had occurred during sparring matches he had with Yumi in the past, wanting to prove that he could keep up with her no matter what she threw at him. They were just a fraction of the many injuries he had endured when he was still trying to impress her. Of course, he told himself, the pain was definitely worth it in the end. He would endure a thousand more if it meant he could always be near her.

The hours had slipped by unnoticed by the pair under the unchanging veil of darkness. When Ulrich finally had the thought to glance at the digital timepiece on his cell phone his eyes widened in alarm. It was late, much later than he had realized. He turned to Yumi with a look of restrained panic. "Shit, it's almost midnight. I seriously have get back to my dorm before somebody realizes I'm missing."

Now Yumi was looking panicked as well. "Oh god, my parents are seriously going to kill me. I didn't even realize we were talking for that long." But in spite of her apparent urgency, she seemed unwilling to tear her gaze away from him. She hadn't budged from her spot on the bench. "I guess that's what happens when two people have such a strong connection, you know?" Her eyes lingered on him, her face filled with a look of longing as if there was something more she wanted to say.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." It was all Ulrich could think to say as he became completely lost in Yumi's eyes. They were such pretty eyes, he thought. Especially the way they shone in the moonlight in that very moment.

Time stretched on and Ulrich felt as if an enormous tension were building between the two of them as they continued to gaze at one another for what felt like an eternity. He desperately wished he could know what was going on in Yumi's head at that very moment. His breathing quickened and his heart was pounding steadily faster in his chest. The temperature of the air against his skin was rising dramatically and now he was uncomfortably hot in spite of the coolness of the night. He wanted so badly to close the gap between them, but now his body was stone, refusing to budge even an inch despite the desperate pleas coming from his brain.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then," Yumi said, finally breaking the spell that had rendered him completely paralyzed. Her smile only faltered for a instant, then she quickly leaned forward and kissed Ulrich lightly on the cheek before rising from her seat and sprinting off towards the gate.

"See you Yumi." Ulrich called out after her, gazing intently at Yumi's retreating figure until she disappeared from view. His smile quickly faded along with the sight of her, and he let out a dismal sigh. There she goes, he thought bitterly. He couldn't believe himself. He had, yet again, let a perfect opportunity slip past him.

He rose to his feet then, and jammed his hands into his pockets, silently cursing himself as he trudged his way towards the dormitory. Fury swept through him, aimed at his own unbelievable weakness. It was like so many times before, so close, yet when he could feel the energy at its highest, he had choked. Why couldn't he bring himself to act on his feelings for Yumi? It wasn't like he didn't know if she felt the same way about him. On the contrary, they had long since admitted their feelings for one another and, in fact, they were closer now than they ever had been. If only he could just take that one final step, that one crucial move that would finally take their relationship to the next level.

Pathetic. That's what he was. Pathetic.

The dormitory came into sight as Ulrich emerged from the woods, a broad silhouette against the dark backdrop of the night sky, white washed in the pale light of the moon. Lost in his brooding, he didn't see the lone figure perched on the stoop before the main entrance, his eyes set squarely on the ground in front of his feet. It was the sound of crunching foliage that shook him from his thoughts and he ground to a halt, his head snapping up and in the direction of the noise, senses on high alert. He could see a figure in the distance moving cautiously towards him, but in the darkness he couldn't quite make out who it was and he watched it's approach with a wary eye. As the figure drew closer its features became clearer beneath the dim moonlight until Ulrich finally recognized who it was, and he scowled with contempt. "Sissi! What are you doing here?" he snapped coldly. "Don't I get enough of you during the day?"

At that moment, Ulrich wanted nothing more than to chase away the unwelcome intruder, to tell her off in the most spiteful way he could think of. But as he caught the full sight of her face he suddenly found himself unable to do so. Her eyes were flooded with such intense emotion that it was disarming. Stripped bare of the ever present aura of supreme confidence and lofty superiority, she looked somehow exposed, fragile, like she might crumble at the slightest touch. She had stopped short at his remark a few paces away, and was now simply staring at him with a look of clear apprehension. Ulrich's felt an unexpected sting of regret at having lashed out at her. He took a few slow steps forward, closing the distance between them so he could see her better. Soon every feature of her stood out clearly in the pale light, and an odd feeling stirred in his gut as he took all of it in.

"Sissi?" He spoke softly this time. "Is everything okay?"

She bit her lip then, her eyes darting away from his while she wrung her hands together in a clear fit of nerves. "Ulrich," she began in a soft, trembling voice. "Please don't be angry at me. You weren't in your room. I thought that if I waited here you would eventually show up."

It disturbed him, the way she spoke to him so meekly now, the way she was pleaded for him not to rebuke her, like she expected him to bite her head off at any moment. When she did lift her gaze back to his, her eyes were swimming with a profound weight.

"There's something I really need to tell you... something important. Just please hear me out."

She paused, watched him anxiously, her eyes roaming over his features as if reading him for signs of danger. He didn't answer; he was simply too staggered to respond, so she continued.

"Look, I should have told you this a long time ago. It's just that I was always so afraid that you would only throw it all back in my face like a big joke and make me feel horrible for it. I couldn't face that kind of rejection. I couldn't face it so much so that I thought it was better that you thought I was just some shallow, spoiled brat. You could say all the horrible things you wanted, but you could never go after my secret, like somehow that made all the difference. Crazy, right?" She chanced at glance at him, smiled weakly, before looking away again. "It was stupid of me to think I could run away from rejection just by hiding my true feelings from you. I'm tired of pretending that if I just don't say it out loud that I can't get hurt. It does hurt, Ulrich. It hurts so much I can't stand it, every single time. I can't keep it in anymore. If I do...it'll tear me apart."

Sissi fell silent then, looking back up to meet Ulrich's eyes, and he could clearly see in hers the fear she spoke of, the fear of someone who was about to bare herself completely knowing he could use everything she said against her, use it to hurt her and hurt her badly. He was ashamed to admit he couldn't blame her. How often was it that he had he ever shown her actual kindness in the past. He could see the struggle in her eyes as she held his gaze firmly, practically hear the internal debate screaming in her head as she worked herself up to the task at hand. Ulrich didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say, so he simply waited as the seconds ticked by with unbearable slowness.

He was startled when Sissi finally gave a sudden exclamation, "I love you, okay?" She then covered her face with her hands, looking too humiliated to face him. "There, I said it. I love you Ulrich. I love you so much I can't even begin describe it." With great effort, it seemed, she drew her hands away from her face so she could meet his eyes once again, looking nothing less than completely vulnerable. "Every time I see you, every time I'm near you, the feelings I have are simply unbearable. I want you so badly it hurts. It drives me crazy that you won't ever let me get close to you. I mean, all you ever do is make fun of me and push me away and It hurts so much. You have no clue how much it hurts. All I want is just to be close to you. That's all I've ever wanted. But you don't even give me a second thought."

Ulrich was completely floored, only able to stare incredulously at the girl in front of him. For a moment he wondered if he had heard her right. Sissi in love? With him? Somehow he just couldn't seem to grasp the notion. He had always seen Sissi as nothing more than a shallow girl, a shallow girl with a shallow infatuation, with him as the unlucky target. He had assumed she was just trying to bag him as a trophy boyfriend, probably to boost her status among the other girls in school. He had never once considered there were any real feelings behind her advances. Truthfully he had never even given the notion any thought whatsoever, nor would he have even been capable of imagining it had someone had the audacity to suggest it to him. But those eyes. There was no way eyes like those could be lying. This was not a trick. This was real. Sissi really meant every word she said.

"You have to understand," Sissi continued. "Everything I've ever done was just to get you to like me. I always thought that if I just tried hard enough I might actually have a chance with you. But I can't do this anymore. I can't just keep letting myself get hurt over and over again. It's too much. All I can do is try and figure out if there is even a chance we can have anything together. So please, please, I just need you to tell me...tell me how you really feel about me."

And all at once Ulrich felt like he had just been handed a ticking time bomb and asked to carefully diffuse it without somehow managing to take out the surrounding city block in a catastrophic explosion. He suddenly felt very exposed, all his usual defenses rendered useless by this staggering revelation. He found himself wishing now that this were the familiar, annoying Sissi standing before him. At least then he would know exactly what to say to her. He would chase her off without a second thought. With Sissi it was always an easy task of telling her off. She always had a way of being conceited, arrogant, and altogether insufferable, not to mention petty and cruel when the mood suited her, which was fairly often. But this time was different. This time she was being candid, sincere, human, spilling her guts to him and leaving herself emotionally bare. He knew that if he said the wrong thing to her now he could really hurt her, and he simply couldn't bring himself to do that, not even to a girl like her.

"Sissi, I..." Ulrich struggled for words, desperate to disarm this delicate situation without causing further harm. The girl's eyes were locked onto his own with that same intense expression and it was making him extremely uneasy. As he searched for the proper words he realized he never did give much thought to that question. How did he really feel about Sissi? He didn't hate her, that was for sure. After all, they had been friends at one point in their lives, and there were plenty of other people he knew that deserved his hate more than her. But he definitely couldn't say he loved her back. He had to admit there were times when he had felt genuine affection for her, but never in a romantic sense. Besides, his feelings were reserved solely for Yumi, and that, he was sure, was never going to change.

Defeated, Ulrich said the only thing he could think of. "You have to understand. You have a way of being—how can I put this—incredibly mean and obnoxious. I mean, you're hardly ever nice to me or any of my friends and you always seem to be up to no good and, well-"

"So you really do hate me, don't you?" Sissi cut in sharply. Her eyes became glossier beneath the glow of the moon.

"No, that's not what I'm saying-" Ulrich desperately tried to correct her, but Sissi hastily cut him off again, her voice now trembling dangerously.

"You don't have to explain. I understand perfectly. I know I'm not the nicest girl you've ever known, but all I ever really wanted was to be apart of your life, for you to look at me...to look at me the way you look at Yumi. I thought that if I just pushed hard enough that maybe something would give, that maybe you might start to develop feelings for me too, maybe even fall in love with me. But I guess I was just living in a stupid fairy tale. It was just a pathetic dream that had no hope of ever coming true." Sissi turned away from Ulrich then, hiding the tears that were now streaming down her face. "Well you don't have to worry about me anymore, Ulrich. I won't bother you or your friends ever again."

Before Ulrich could say anything else Sissi ran off towards the dormitory, the sounds of heavy sobs trailing behind her. A terrible feeling washed over him as he watched her fleeing form disappear into the building. He didn't think it would hurt so much to see Sissi in any kind of distress. In fact, he could normally expect satisfaction at seeing the usually obnoxious girl cut down a peg, but seeing that wounded look in her eyes had hurt worse than he could have guessed. He felt a powerful urge to go after her, but held himself back. What could he possibly do? What could he possibly say that would change anything? He didn't love Sissi. He wasn't sure he could even say he liked her if he was being totally honest. As much as he wanted to spare her from the pain of that truth, she would have to accept that he could not possibly return her feelings. Maybe, in a twisted way, this was a good thing. If she was no longer obsessing over him she could have a real chance at someone who would actually return her affections, someone who could make her happy. There were plenty of other boys who were totally into her.

Ulrich shook the thoughts from his head, only having managed to make himself even more depressed. He just wanted to forget everything that had happened tonight and simply move on with his sorry life. His heart now even heavier than before, he continued on his way to his own dorm and, hopefully, the blissful escape of sleep.