Riza, Havoc, and Roy all turned to look at Edward. It was his turn to recount the mission and he was just laying on Roy's couch, admiring his automail hand for some reason. Riza cleared her throat and Havoc looked like he wanted to die. Roy arched a brow and tilted his head to the side.
"Fullmetal?" the Colonel asked.
Ed's eyes gave Roy a passing glance and he went back to admiring his arm. "Hn?"
"Your report?" Roy demanded darkly. Edward glanced at him again; he didn't particularly want to. Riza and Havoc already gave their reports to him. They summed up what happened. Ed had to kill Envy. That had been hell and something else. He almost let Envy kill him instead. But he killed the palm tree… Then he had to kill Wrath. "Edward?"
"Fuck off," Ed said calmly as if he was announcing that the sun was shining. Riza's eyes narrowed and Havoc shot into battle position and Roy's eyes widened in hurt and confusion.
"Fullmetal? What's wrong?" Roy said, his voice carefully blank.
The blond tempered boy sat up, his eyes wide and angry; murderous almost. Riza automatically went for her gun as did Havoc. The look in those gold eyes was… Well, it was not one they would want to see on such a temperamental boy.
"What's wrong?" Edward's voice was calm and level, much unlike the flames in his eyes. "I'll tell you what's wrong." He stood and stomped over to Roy's desk, slamming his hands on it with force enough to scatter the paper work. "ENVY IS FUCKING DEAD, YOU ASSHOLE!"
Roy winced, watching the short teen tower over him angrily while Havoc and Riza trained their guns on Ed. "Pardon? Of course the Homunculus is dead, that was your mission, was it not?" Roy said coldly.
Edward's eyes narrowed in pain and he clenched his hands into fists, beating into the desk. "I DIDN'T WANT TO KILL HIM, ROY! I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT HIM! I HATED EVERY SECOND OF THAT PART OF MY LIFE, YOU BASTARD!" Roy raised a single brow.
"What are you talking about, Fullmetal?"
"I. Loved. Him." The sound of a pair of guns hitting the floor was the only sound in the room, along with Ed's panting. He slammed his hands down into the table once. "I LOVED HIM! I LOVED HIM AND YOU KILLED HIM, ROY FUCKING MUSTANG!"
"The fact that you loved the Homunculus doesn't matter to me, Fullmetal," Roy said coolly. "All that matters to me is your report on the mission."
Ed glared, his gold eyes hard. "You want my report?" he snarled. He brought his automail hand back and struck Roy across the cheek. "Fuck. You." With that, the Fullmetal Alchemist turned on his heel and walked back to the couch, plopping down. Silently, he made himself comfortable once more. Riza was slowly following the other blond, Havoc, towards the door, abandoning her gun in favor of her life.
Ed sighed and glanced at the Colonel who had his face buried in his hands. Even from the couch, Edward could see him shaking.
"If I had to, I would put myself right beside you." Ed blinked in confusion, still very angry. Why the hell was Roy singing? "So let me ask: Would you like that? Would you like that?" Well, he had a lovely singing voice. But still. And no, Ed would NOT like that.
"And I don't mind if you say this love," Roy motioned between Ed and himself with one hand, "is the last time." Roy glared up at Edward. "So now I'll ask: Do you like that? DO YOU LIKE THAT?! NO!"
Edward sneered and sat up, pulling his knees to his chest. He watched Roy with glazed eyes, seeing not Roy but Envy.
"Something's getting in the way," he snarled, throwing the picture of Envy and Edward he had face down on the desk, "something's just about to break!" the Colonel clutched his heart. He lifted up the picture and stared at Edward's face through the cracked glass. "I will try to find my place in the Diary of Ed." His coal black eyes met Edward's molten gold ones. "So tell me how it should be!" Edward stared when Roy paused, seeing Envy grinning stupidly.
Edward sighed, his breathing choked with the sobs he refused to let out. "Try to find out what makes you tick," Roy murmured lowly, examining his own State Alchemist watch. He slumped over on his desk, cradling his cheek where Ed hit him. "As I lie down, sore and sick." His coals met Ed's gold eyes. "Do you like that? DO YOU LIKE THAT?!?"
Edward snarled. Yes, he thought, I would like that.
"There's a fine line between love and hate," Roy murmured softly. "And I don't mind. Just let me say that: I like that. I like that!" Roy's fingers curled into fists as he stared at Fullmetal from his lying position on his desk. Edward stared back, seeing Envy waking up next to him in confusion with that cute look on his face. The blond hid his face in his hands, tears spilling from his eyes.
He choked on his sobs as tears rolled down his cheeks, burning little paths from his eyes to his chin, dripping onto his knees. If Envy were here, he would bring Edward to him and coo sweetly, rocking back and forth while Wrath touched the blond's shoulder comfortingly. But Envy was not there.
"Something's getting in the way!" Roy whispered, brushing the glass from the picture frame. The small fragments scattered around his head. "Something's just about to break…" His onyx eyes fluttered to Edward's shuddering form. He looked so fragile and breakable in that moment. "I will try to find my place… In the Diary of Ed…" Holding the picture of Edward and Envy in his hand, Roy snapped his fingers and watched solemnly as it burst into flames. "As I burn another page, as I look the other way…" He closed his eyes, ignoring the burning picture on his desk.
Ed saw the flames and Envy and Wrath spilled into his vision, the flames that took their lives the lone thing he could see.
"I still try to find my place," Roy said, watching Edward's horrified look as he stared at the burning picture with tears spilling from his eyes still, "in the Diary of Ed." Roy pushed himself up and watched the picture curl as the flames ate it alive. "So tell me how it should be."
He stood slowly, taking sluggish steps towards the blond. "Desperate, I will crawl…" He reached out for the blond who cringed away from the gloved hand. Roy fell to his knees in front of the blond, taking one glove off. He reached up and brushed away the hot tears that rolled down his face. "Waiting for so long… No love, there is no love." Edward couldn't slap Roy's hands away; he was reliving the deaths of Envy and Wrath. Roy pressed his forehead against Ed's automail knee. "Die for anyone… What have I become…?"
A monster, Ed thought coldly. A bastard monster…
Roy swallowed, his fingers clutching the cloth of Edward's pants. "Something's getting in the way," he hissed, forcing Edward onto the couch, straddling the heartbroken teen. "Something's just about to break." His hands pinned Edward's above the blond's head, Roy's knuckles turning paler with the force he was gripping the two wrists. "I will try to find my place in the Diary of Ed." He brushed one hand down the blond's face, tracing the contours of it, drinking in the sight of tear filled eyes.
All Ed saw was Greed trying to rape him and Envy tearing Greed off, beating the shit out of him.
"As I burn another page," Roy whispered, snapping his fingers. The carpet went aflame and Edward's eyes widened even more as Roy placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. "As I look the other way," he breathed against the blond's cheek. "I still try to find my place in the Diary of Ed."
Outside the door, Edward's name was being screamed repeatedly as was Roy's. The door was being pounded on but the two occupants of the room were silent, not comprehending anything but their impending deaths. Smoke slithered out the room and Alphonse rammed against the door. It fell in and the image that greeted the giant suit of armor was burned into his memory forever.