Sheldon Swifties LXX: "Charlotte Magdalena…"
Summary: Like my Immortal Beloved bits in my Buffyverse stories, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.
Note-Given the awesome news has the series finally caught up with my "Gran Mag" series of tales a bit, it's time to do a prequel and tweak the original tale a bit to fit. So here's an introduction to Amy's fiendish but tragic sister, Charlotte.
(Especially now that "Sheldonopolis" is complete…More or less… Heck, given Princeton, I could even tie this into "The X-Advisors".)
Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…
Princeton University, Princeton, NJ.
"Will you marry me?" Sheldon, on knee, holding ring…Amy staring.
…
Paris…
A few moment earlier, relative time, at a luxury hotel in the heart of the city…
"I'm sorry Marine, but you failed me…It's over…" the winsome but firm voice of the waifishly beautiful brunette in rather fabulous French nightgown lying in bed, phone in hand, several major scientific articles strewn about her, a few bearing her name as lead author.
Weeping pleas from phone…
"I'm sorry…I was actually not a supporter in any case. I'm for democracy and actually, we Fowlers are part-Jewish, at least in spirit, owing to my beloved step-grandpa Leonard. I was just trying to get you to compromise yourself by wearing that Hitler moustache and the lederhosen that last time. "
Screaming howls, renewed pleas from phone…
"And, really? I'm not into women...I just made an exception in your case to destroy a vile fascist. Oui, oui…The stories about me are in fact, true. Too bad a ruthless fascist like you wasn't better at vetting her lovers. Good-bye, Marine. If it's any consolation…No, I don't think you deserve any consolation. I recommend suicide to atone for failing your vicious father as well. Sadly, it really isn't painless. Au revoire, you Vichy scum." Lithe stretch to hang up phone.
I suppose I could have told her I'd be going after Macron next…She might have told his wife and certainly the papers, if she doesn't kill herself first. And that kind never does, till the Russians are at the bunker door… But…Ah, well…
She extended arm and reached for a work phone with calendar displayed…Let us see. Interview with Le Monde regards my article on mental health care for children, screw that editor of Le Monde and leave the phone video on to direct download to his email and his wife's, meet with the parents of Elyse Ramon about her surgery, that sweet girl….Fond smile…Latest paper by my love in the Journal of Applied Physics to read…Oh, that next. But first, I must see…Ah, oui… "Oh…My love…Soon, now that you have been awakened to love by my worthless, treacherous sister, I will come to you, and you will know, at once…That you were only awaiting your true Fowler, the one who truly loves you. The one you first loved and who has adored you always. And a good ten seconds before Amy noticed you, so I call dibs! Oh, my Sheldon. My darling." She gazed fondly at Sheldon's portrait on screen in his best suit, courtesy YouTube and Howard Wolowitz, as he drunkenly addressed a university audience.
Nervous trembling…As if a sudden cloud had come over her joy…
What cloud clutches at my heart? As if someone had walked over the grave I managed to dodge years ago…
Like I need to guess…I know, without…
The phone buzzed…She frowned…
Marine again? Well, perhaps I'd better have that top aide of hers who offered to bump her off, intervene here… "Oh, Jacques, you meant what you said about turning from the evil fascist maniac?…And you do love me and would die to protect me?" she intoned, taking phone.
"Yes, this is Dr. Fowler. What?" she gripped phone in suddenly viselike hands.
"Dr. Cooper went where…? When? MERDE!" she howled, cutting off call, feverishly dialing.
"This is Dr. Fowler. Put me through to Jerome…I don't care if he's at dinner. Get him at once! Tell me, do you have surveillance on my sister? What do you mean you don't know? What am I paying you people for?! Have Jerome call me at once!"
The Jersey Mafia…Louts all of them…
Well, try the support on the spot…She redialed, waiting…
"Hello." Sultry, yet winsome, voice. "It's Charlotte Magdalena… Yeah, yeah, yeah…Your petite French-American buttercup…"
What an asshole…But, he is the head of the Neurology Department at Princeton who pushed for Amy's fellowship at my urging.
I so wanted to help…Separate her from my beloved.
"I need to know what's going with my sister! At once! Is Sheldon Cooper there? Sheldon Cooper. The world's greatest physicist who can still walk. Tall, skinny guy of pale complexion? He's…Uh…A bit unbalanced and I fear he may harm my sister, as he's obsessed with her. Send Security on some feeble excuse, you…Dear man…Tell them someone called and said she was being assaulted. Well, she may very well be being assaulted…"
Idiote…She grimaced. How did this one manage to run a department? And as for the sack…
Phoey…
The things I put up with for true love…Well, let me check on Sheldon…She pressed buttons.
"George…This is Charlotte Fowler…Yes, hi. How is Madeline? Great. George? Could you do me a petite favor and find out if your TSA Pasadena staff cleared that friend of mine, Dr. Cooper…Yes, that skinny weird guy…"
Mental note…When Madeline is safely into adulthood, ruin this one.
"…Yes, he was planning to fly to New Jersey tonight? I'm worried about him as you know, since his neurosurgery, and his being my sister's…"
Grrrrrrr… "MERDE!" she screamed, unable to repress.
"What? Oh, the television, I'll turn it down…There…Yes, my sister'sboyfriend…" she spit it out…
"Oh, thank you so much…Amy is worried he might not have told anyone he was coming to her at Princeton. You'll call back as soon as you know for sure? Bon, merci. Give my best to Madeline…"
She switched lines again…"Ok, did you send security? Well, what did they…? What…? What do you mean they found a guy kneeling at her door? With a what?! You damned piece of…Uh, éclair, yes…Well, damned only in the sense, my love, that we have done…Well…Infidelite, you know. As you would not like your wife to learn. Oh, no…My love…I am not threatening you. Darling?"
A bullet in the head from his wife would be a distinct improvement to his neural processes, I've no doubt…
"…I only wish to know that my sister is safe…Let me know as soon as you can. Dearest." She cut the call off, redialing.
"Jerome, about time. Charlotte Fowler here…Do you have surveillance on my sister? Well, have him contacted and start his rounds at the guest dormitory at once. Put him through to me at once. And remember, Jerome…Your son's life is in my hands on Wednesday. Not that that's a threat…Just, I need to be calm to perform such delicate surgery. We understand each other? Good."
Course I'd never let poor William come to harm…But no need for Jerome not to be "motivated"…
Hmmn…No point in calling Christie…That fat blob couldn't do much in time.
Though I could have him have the state police arrest Amy…Or Sheldon, on some charge to hold him for a few hours…
Damn…I was all set to head for Pasadena while she was out of the picture this summer, dispose…Yes, dispose as in strangle, dissect, use acid to dissolve her bones, cast her ashes to the winds, of that silly Ramona fool…And introduce myself properly to my sister's…
Merde!
…Boyfriend, Grimace.
Leading to one of those sudden romantic reversals…Like when Amy March seduces…Ok, not outright…But come on, Laurie didn't just suddenly notice her…Laurie Lawrence away from Jo in "Little Women". Or Jane Eyre seduces Rochester away from his nutcase wife…
Ok, that wasn't difficult really but…
And I can do the slow, innocent romance…No problem…
Just a drastically speeded up version of what Amy did to steal Sheldon from me…
As if I believe she just happened to take that position in Neurology near him…
And just stumbled into that dating web page…Just happened…Oh, my…To pick Sheldon out.
Hell, I know she went to Austin in hot pursuit…I know she followed him to every school he went to, just afraid to speak to him. And naturally, pure and innocent knight that he is, he was keeping himself pure for his angel…The one he'd met with his Meemaw on that train to Maine, the year he went to college at 11.
The year my life regained meaning…And my sister started on her path to becoming my worst enemy…
Even if she couched it in oh so innocent terms…"Oh, you'll live Charley…You'll live and take care of our Sheldon…He's for you. He needs a Fowler girl."
Little did I know…Even then, she was plotting to undo me.
But I caught on to the real world at last…When they dumped me to die in that school for unwanted rejects of children in France. And I found out Amy was staying with Gran…And then that she was going to Austin…
As if I couldn't guess why…
It took a more or less mad or at least totally unscrupulous doctor eager for fame and la glorie and ten years of agonizing surgeries and treatments but I remade myself. And set out to crush all those worthless men and their equally vicious and worthless wives, all betraying their children…And then, when the time was right and Sheldon had shown himself ready to love, I would purge myself of all evil and go to him, his radiant angel. The one he saw that day when he asked me…Me in all my surface hideousness…If I was an angel, because Meemaw said I must be…And Meemaw, bless her eternale, never lies… And I would be his angel, forever.
But it seems likely that someone has outwitted me…
Someone…In a cardigan sweater. With dangerously Fowler eyes and chin…
Amy. That conniving little sister of mine…Who plotted to see me buried here in France, abandoned by my family, to steal the love of the only substitute parent who loved us both, and then steal Sheldon away from me, even after I'd nobly given him up to her all those years ago, when I was but young and innocently foolish.
And dying of Proteus syndrome…
But like the phoenix, I arose from the ashes of poor Elephant Girl Charlotte to take vengeance on all those who once despised me, fled from me, and now envy and hate me for my triumph.
And no one more than my dear sister…Amy.
Oh, you enemy…Grim stare…
Damn, and despite the male idiots of this world, I know she's still the pretty one…
But just as I got that bitch Dorothy, our "friend" whom I know stole the jar of money we were saving for Amy to come save me in France…Before even she, my sister, the one true friend of my heart, who knew my secret passion, betrayed me...Admittedly for love of Sheldon which I have to say, I get…Just as I got her and her nasty little dog always trying to bite me, I'll get her.
More importantly…Beam…
I'll get my Sheldon…
If I have to have Pasadena nuked and sleep with everyone of her friends and associates and the entire Cal Tech faculty…Including the girls, though admittedly I rather like that little Howard Wolowitz. He's got my kind of reason to despise the world…
I'll have my angel boy.
For the best really…Amy's not the one for him. He needs a bit more sophistication in a wife.
Say someone who's got the goods on nearly every key person in Science and Academia and Politics and Finance and the Arts, let alone Physics.
And he'll appreciate that I was very kind to Stephen Hawking…
Even if I was the reason he didn't get back with Jane after that movie came out and he was all…Oh, Janey.
Or, rather…
Oh…Janey…
And that that means…Sheldon wins, in your face, Stevie! Beam.
"Ah, oui, hello?" she took up buzzing phone. "Yes, yes…Uh, darling. Did you find…? What?"
"WHHHHHAAAATTTTT?" bloodcurdling screech…