A/N: Sorry about the angst, my lovelies. But there's a happy ending!
He regretted it the moment it escaped his lips.
It was the end of a huge, trivial argument that neither of them could remember the origin of. Kurt had gotten home from work late and Blaine was stressed about his homework for his Shakespeare class and they kind of just blew up at each other.
"Why did I ever agree to marry you in the first place?!"
The look of hurt on Blaine's face before it twisted into more anger.
"Well, then why did I even think about proposing to someone so stubborn?!"
The sound of the door as it slid shut as Blaine stormed out of the loft.
The tears that were brimming in Kurt's eyes finally fell as he touched his engagement ring with his right index finger and thumb. The metal was warm from the emotion bubbling in his core. He grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and threw it at the door, crying out one last yell before slumping down on the floor.
Maybe everyone who was not a fan of their engagement was right. They were kids. Still in school. Still trying to carve a corner of the sky for themselves in this tangled up world. Maybe before they found a spot together they needed to find a spot for themselves individually.
But Kurt couldn't imagine finding his place in this world without Blaine at his side. Blaine was a part of his life, past, present, and most definitely future. Even when they weren't together they were in each other's lives.
When he stopped Blaine on that Dalton staircase junior year and saw a look of amazement flash on Blaine's face for a moment and then saw it replaced with the formality of an introduction, he knew that this boy was not going to leave his life anytime soon. It felt like he was remembering him from something, a dream perhaps, as they connected as friends before becoming lovers. Blaine's proposal wasn't something he just made up out of thin air.
No, Blaine was always going to be in Kurt's life. He was always going to love him and couldn't see his life without doing just that. That was probably why his heart hurt so much now. Kurt loved Blaine and it killed him that they had said that to each other.
He crawled up on the couch and unfolded the fuzzy blanket on the armrest. It was normally used for movie nights or for when Sam stayed late and was too lazy to walk home.
Blaine needed time after arguments, before big decisions, and after realizing that the store stopped making his favorite cereal. Blaine wasn't going to be back very soon, and Kurt couldn't bear to face the empty, cold bed in the opposite side of the loft.
Arguing took a lot out of a person, so why do we do it? It is a waste of energy, Kurt decided, and energy that should be put into other, more important things in life. We argue to release emotion or to prove that what we have to say is valid. As humans we all just want to be heard. Well, he and Blaine sure were heard tonight. He's pretty sure the neighbors across the hall heard their fight. Tired from arguing and thinking about it afterwards, he closed his eyes and soon fell asleep.
The door to the loft made a loud sound when it slid shut behind him, but Blaine could hardly hear it over the ringing in his ears with the last words they had said to each other.
"Why did I ever agree to marry you in the first place?!"
"Well, then why did I even think about proposing to someone so stubborn?!"
He stepped out into the crisp New York air and silently thanked whoever was listening that it wasn't freezing outside. In his haste to leave, he grabbed his jacket which didn't have a pair of gloves stuffed in the pockets. It was finally looking like spring in New York.
He started walking down the street, somewhat sure of his destination, but definitely just needing to blow off some steam. They both needed time to think. They rarely rarely had arguments of that caliber. Blaine knew they were both super busy with their own lives recently and barely had time to be intimate together. This silly argument was partly pent-up stress and partly because they were horny and angry that life was getting in the way.
He found himself going to the park and sitting on a bench overlooking the fountain. The water cascading over the stone was soothing to Blaine as he calmed down. He brushed away tears that he didn't realize had fallen, taking a deep breath.
Was it true that Kurt was second-guessing their engagement? He said that he'd never stop loving Blaine, but maybe he'd love Blaine more if they didn't get married? Blaine wondered if proposing to Kurt when they has just gotten back together was a good decision. But it was, a voice in his head shouted.
He and Kurt were so different from each other. Kurt was very headstrong at times, knew what he wanted, and would try his absolute hardest in order to get it. But he had to be. After years of being pushed around or told "no," Kurt had to be determined and strong for himself as well as Blaine. Kurt made Blaine better in that regard. He would be the one to remind Blaine to "do his best" and would help him reach whatever goal he set for himself. And if it didn't work out, Kurt was always there to catch him if he fell and set him right back on his feet. Kurt would remind Blaine not to run like he did years ago before he settled at Dalton. But then again, if he hadn't, he might not have met Kurt when he did or at all.
Blaine was there to remind Kurt to take a breath every now and then. Kurt would be so busy practicing or exercising that Blaine had to remind him that it was okay to feel tired, or to stop and take a break and smell the flowers, so to speak.
They complimented each other, despite their differences. And that's what Blaine would tell anyone who thought that their engagement was silly or a bad idea. He loved Kurt, loved him. That was why arguing with him hurt so much.
He brought his legs up on the bench and rested his head on the cool wood of the back. It was uncomfortable, but he didn't have the energy to walk back to the loft so soon, and the sound of the rushing water was enough to cause him to close his eyes.
Kurt awoke suddenly with a crick in his neck, a reminder that he was not in his usual warm bed. Well, the only reason it was super warm was because he had Blaine the furnace next to him at night. Kurt could steal more than his share of blankets and Blaine didn't mind at all.
He checked his phone and saw the time was 1:23 am. Blaine still wasn't back yet. He got up and went to their bed curtains, pulling them back to see the bed empty. There wasn't a text or call from Blaine either.
What if Blaine went out and something happened to him? Kurt shuddered at the last thing he had said to him. He slipped on a jacket and shoes and left the loft, going to look for him. Even if Blaine still wasn't ready to talk to him, he at least hoped he would come back into the loft so Kurt knew he was safe.
Kurt had a hunch he knew where Blaine had gone. The fountain in the park was always soothing to himself and to Blaine. The rushing sound of the water was enough to block out most of the city. If Blaine hadn't left the loft, Kurt probably would have and went to that location. That, or the library, but the library wasn't open this late.
Turning the familiar corner, he saw the fountain, peaceful as always, the stone looking the same as different water cascaded over the mouth of the basins. Even if the water supply to that fountain ran out, the stone would still stand, a reminder of the tranquility that once was there.
He saw Blaine curled up on a bench nearby, breathing a sigh of relief that he was alright. "Blaine?" Kurt said lightly when he reached him. "Honey, wake up."
When Blaine opened his eyes he immediately reached for Kurt and pulled him into a tight embrace. "Kurt," he whispered. "Kurt." He didn't want to let go. Blaine moved his legs aside so Kurt could sit by him, immediately hugging him tightly again when Kurt sat down.
"I'm sorry."
They both said it at the same time, heads buried into each other's necks, letting out a sigh of relief that the other was there and okay and they were both just so sorry for being so dumb.
"I should have never said that to you, Blaine," Kurt said, sniffling. "I could never ever mean that. I was just so tired, and frustrated at work and it's not fair for me to take it out on you. You could never do anything to make me mean that." Kurt looked disgusted with himself, thinking why would his brain even come up with those words to say? "I said yes to you then and I'm saying yes now. I cannot wait to marry you."
Blaine squeezed Kurt's hands in his own. "My response was uncalled for, also. You mean more to me than anything. My Shakespeare class is not an excuse for me to be mad at you. You're a man who knows what he wants, and there's nothing wrong with that, and I'm just so sorry for getting upset with you about that."
Kurt nodded, squeezing Blaine's hands back. After some silence he continued. "I can't even remember what this argument was about. We kind of just started yelling at each other."
"I don't like it when we argue."
"Me neither."
Another short pause filled with only the rushing sound of the fountain.
"Plus," Blaine continued, "you and I haven't been intimate in soooo long…"
Kurt smirked lightly, "Is that so?"
"Yeeessss," Blaine practically whined. "And my Shakespeare homework isn't helping." He continued with memorized lines:
"Her tongue will not obey her heart, nor can
Her heart inform her tongue,-the swan's
down-feather,
That stands upon the swell at full of tide,
And neither way inclines."
"I can see why," Kurt said as he kissed Blaine on the cheek. "That was beautifully recited." Kurt moved to Blaine's nose and kissed it.
"Antony and Cleopatra. You and I can't be like Cleopatra, though. We - ah -" Kurt moved to the corner of Blaine's mouth, teasing him by moving away just as Blaine was about to kiss him on the lips. "- can't be holding back our feelings like she is, just to let them all rush out at once."
"Mmh," Kurt agreed, moving to kiss Blaine's neck.
"Honey?" Blaine asked, groaning as Kurt brushed his lips over his Adam's apple. "Are you listening to me?"
"Of course, sweetheart. Communication." Kiss on the forehead "Words." Kiss on the left cheek. "Understanding." Kiss on the right cheek. "No more fighting like this. I just got a little preoccupied with you talking birdy to me."
Blaine rolled his eyes at the awful pun. "I thought you'd like that," Blaine said, chasing Kurt's mouth, finally succeeding, and giving a victory "Ha!"
"I love you," Kurt said, smiling and giving Blaine a proper kiss.
"I love you, too. So much."
"Let's go home," Kurt said, grabbing Blaine by the hand. Home. That sounded good to the both of them. "The bed is far too cold and lonely without you."
Blaine happily oblidged and allowed Kurt to lead him back to their loft. Who cares about class tomorrow morning? they thought as they curled up together, mentally planning to catch up in the morning on all of their moments of missed intimacy in the past few weeks. But now, sleep sounded great to both of them.