(A slideshow of various candid shots of Hogwarts students.)
Dumbledore: (off-screen) Live from Hogwarts, it's Saturday night! Featuring the Not-Ready-For-Primetime Players...
Cedric Diggory,
Diana Cross,
Fred Weasley,
Hermione Granger,
Luna Lovegood,
Harry Potter,
and Ron Weasley!
With your musical guest, the Weird Sisters...
And your host, Guilderoy Lockhart!
(Fade in to a stage set up in the Great Hall. The crowd goes wild as Guilderoy Lockhart walks up to the microphone.)
Guilderoy: Hello everybody - I'm Guilderoy Lockhart, author of Magical Me, Travels With Trolls, and many other books, and also the 5-time winner of the 'Witch Weekly' Best Smile award. I'm very excited to be hosting the 1st episode of 'Hogwarts Night Live', and -
(Hermione and Luna, as the fan girls Laura and Lara, respectively, run up to Guilderoy and tackle him.)
Laura: I LOVE YOU, GUILDEROY!
Lara: Can I get a picture of you?
Guilderoy: Ladies, ladies, there's plenty of me to go around! (to audience as the girls practically suffocate him) Anyways, enjoy this first sketch!