"Hello Tarika ji," Abhijeet spoke to his beloved over the phone as he drove back home.
"Hi Abhijeet."
He smiled. Hearing her chirpy voice was the best end to a tiring day.
And over the years, it had become his habit – one of his favourite habits, to be precise.
"Kya kar rahi thi aap? Aaj toh Salunkhe sahab ne jaldi chhod diya tha na?"
"Haan aaj sir ne half day de diya tha…par tumhe kaise pata chala?"
"Wo…aaj sham ko meine socha tha ki lab jaata hu – Aapse mulaakat ho jayegi – doh chaar baatein ho jayengi…Par mujhe naseeb hua toh sirf uss Salunkhe ka shakal!"
"Abhijeeeeeeeeeeeet," Tarika warned him.
"Arrey aap toh serious ho gayin ….mein toh Mazak kar raha tha."
"Achaa?"
"Ji," he put in so much effort into making his voice sound grave that it almost made her laugh.
"Ghar pahonch gaye?"
"Actually bureau se nikla hi hu thodi der pehle….aapne bataya nahi – aap kya kar rahi thi?"
"Abhijeet dekho na – kitna suhana mausam hai..kitni achi hawa chal rahi hai….Isliye mein beach pe aayi hu."
"Waah Tarika ji…. Raat ke 10 baje aap beach ke mazein le rahi hain aur hum traffic mein fasse hue hain."
He lied. In reality, he was near the beach too. But he didn't want to tell her – why ruin a good surprise, he thought
"Kabse aayi hain aap beach pe?" he asked, parking his car.
However, there was no response from her.
"Tarika ji?"
He waited a few seconds but he still didn't get any response.
"Tarika?" he became worried, "Tum theek ho?"
Little did he know that she was facing something rather repulsive.
"Ey item!" two men puckered their lips and called out at Tarika.
Looking at them from their corner of her eyes, she chose to ignore their verbal abuse and tried to walk away. But they surrounded her, blocking her way. One of them held her hand, impairing her movement.
"Chhod mujhe!"
"Pehle pakadne toh doh theek se," one of them smirked.
"Leave, I said!"
The second man grabbed her around the waist. She tried to kick them as her hard as she could but it wasn't very useful.
"Let's do her in her car."
Tarika became horrified and shouted.
"Help….hel…" They covered her mouth with one hand.
Next, one of them started ripping her shirt off, tearing it from the shoulders and the waist. The other man reached down to the button of her jeans. Meanwhile, Abhijeet who was planning to surprise Tarika was dismayed seeing the situation. He immediately rushed over to her and kicked the first man in the groin. He then gave a blow on each cheek of the second man. Tarika, who was held by him, fell to the ground. She didn't have the energy to sustain herself.
Abhijeet called the local police and held the men at gunpoint. As soon as the police arrived, he buttoned Tarika's jeans and covered her with his coat.
"Inn kutto pe aisa case banao," he said to the police, his eyes bloodshot, "Ki saale 2 saal tak bahar nikalne ki soch bhi na sakein."
"Sir."
He gestured them to leave and shifted his attention to Tarika.
"Tum theek ho?"
There was no response from her side. Abhijeet saw that there were many parts of her body that were not covered by his coat because it was merely put over her and she was not wearing it. He placed his arm around her waist, carefully covering the exposed parts of it and made her walk towards her car.
"Daya," he said on the phone , "beach pe meri car parked hai. Tu please usko lekar mere ghar mein park kar de…keys mein yaha ke police waale ko dekar jaunga. Baaki baad mein batata hu."
He then made Tarika sit on the passenger seat and was about to get water for her. But she held his wrist, stopping him. She shook her head, asking him to not leave her alone.
He nodded and sat on the driver's seat. He then started the car. All the while Tarika was crying silently. He tried to talk to her a couple of times but she didn't answer. Giving up, he drove to her home as fast as possible.
"Tarika, ghar aa gaya."
She went out of the car and ran towards the door quickly. She took out keys from a flower pot, the spare keys and tried to open the door…but she wasn't in the right state of mind. She either inserted the wrong keys into the hole or the keys kept slipping out of her hands. And all the while, she kept crying.
Abhijeet took the keys out of her grip swiftly and unlocked the door for her. She ran towards her room and then to the bathroom. She turned on the shower and all the taps of the bathroom…so that her sobs couldn't reach out. She then burst out loudly.
Abhijeet kept standing beside the closed door. He couldn't hear anything, save the sound made by the open taps. He kept on glancing at his watch and the wall clock, one after the other, as if that would make her come out faster.
Inside, Tarika sank down on the floor of the bathroom and sobbed. She touched herself in the places they had touched her. She felt polluted. Dirty.
She wanted to press a delete button. She wanted to forget it all…but those memories came gushing back inside her head. It was so fresh in her mind that she could still feel her heart racing. Her cries of help ripped her soul apart. She closed her ears – she didn't want to hear herself screaming….she didn't want to feel it anymore. Tarika held her knees tight to her chest and buried her head in her knees. Her head started hurting because of all the crying but she still couldn't stop. She felt scared. Powerless.
Vulnerable.
She raised her head when she heard Abhijeet knock on the door. She closed the taps to hear him.
"Tarika darwaaza kholo… Please," he said.
But she didn't answer.
She couldn't.
"Tarika, you are scaring me."
"…"
"Tarika, you are fine, Kuch nahi hua. Be strong. Please. Mein hu na. Let me help you."
"Please bahar aao Tarika," he sounded helpless.
"Abhijeet…tum ghar chaley jao. I want to be alone."
"I can understand Tarika….agar tum chahti ho toh mein chala jaunga but first let me see that you are okay."
"I'm fine."
"Please bahar aake baat karo. Please…."
She just continued crying.
"Tarika please….are you okay? Mein darwaaza tod dunga….please answer."
Tarika stood up and moved near the door. She wiped her tears and opened the door. Abhijeet was shocked to see her condition. She was fully drenched from top to bottom. Her shirt became transparent, revealing her bra. Through the torn pieces of her shirt, Abhijeet could see the scratch marks on her arms.
He made a mental note to go and see those bastards the next morning.
Abhijeet reached close to her and tried to hold her arm but she pulled it away. She looked away from him, unable to meet his eye. Abhijeet stepped back a little, thinking that somehow his proximity is making her uncomfortable.
"Tarika, mein Tasha ya Shreya ko bulau kya? Bula deta hu."
He took his mobile from his pocket when he was stopped by a feeble sound from her.
"N…nahi Abhijeet."
He looked at her, helpless. He had dealt with a thousand such cases – but right now, he wasn't a cop…he didn't know what to do in this situation. Abhijeet went to the kitchen and filled a glass of water.
A tear slipped from his eye which he immediately wiped before walking over to Tarika. When he reached her room, he found that Tarika was leaning on the wall, staring blankly into nothingness. He was about to give her the glass but he stopped suddenly and placed it on the table beside her.
"Tarika," he said softly, "please paani pi lo."
Tarika shivered due the cold.
"Dress change kar lo."
She kept numb.
"Kuch toh bolo," he sat on his knees but maintained some distance from her.
She looked at him for a second and then looked away.
"Pani piyo."
Tarika took the glass with trembling hands. It was about to slip out of her hands when Abhijeet held it over her hands.
"Let me help," he made her drink water.
He then kept the glass on the table.
"Dress…mein kapde nikal deta hu."
Abhijeet stood up and took some clothes from her cupboard.
"Ye lo."
Tarika didn't look up.
"Mein…Tasha ko…bula deta hu."
"Tum bahar jao…mein change kar leti hu."
Abhijeet kept the dress on the bed and moved out. Tarika stood up and went to close the door.
"Tarika…mein yaha bahar hi rahunga…please, don't lock. Trust me."
Abhijeet was standing outside the door for a while. He knocked the door as he didn't get any signal for a long time.
"Ho gaya?"
"Ho…gaya."
He went inside and saw her sitting on the bed, still shivering. His heart ached seeing her like that.
He took out a towel and offered her.
"Tarika baal poch lo."
"Tarika…thand lag jayegi."
"Tarika…"
But she didn't react to any of it. She started crying again. It was very hard for Abhijeet to see her like that. All he wanted to do was to hug her, hug her tight and say 'I'm here. Don't worry.' But he couldn't.
He didn't know how Tarika would react to his touch after that incident. And damn! She was not talking at all. Why was she so traumatized with this event? Had anything happened before his arrival? But it didn't seem so. It was just a matter of few minutes.
"Abhijeet… I'm sorry."
"Sorry!" he was shocked.
"Mein tumhare layak nahi hu Abhijeet – I'm not worth."
Abhijeet sat beside her, without touching her body.
"Tum ye baat kyu bolti ho Tarika? Pehle bhi bata chukka hu, aisa mat bola karo – it hurts me."
"It's true," she sobbed.
"Tum aisa kyu bol rahi ho Tarika?"
"I feel dirty Abhijeet….unke touch ki wo feeling jaa hi nahi rahi mere jism se."
She looked at him, her eyes red and puffed up. It killed him to see her that way.
Those bastards would surely not escape his wrath.
"Tum ghar jao Abhijeet….mein theek hu…kuch der akele rehna chahti hu."
"Are you sure?"
Tarika nodded. Reluctantly, Abhijeet got up and left. When he reached the threshold of the room, he looked back at her. She was lying on the bed, her body forming a C- shape under the blanket she had covered herself with.
"Tum door lock mat karna, mein spare keys se lock kar dunga bahar se."
He then left and locked the door, deciding to sit in her car till she was alright and ready to meet him. But still he locked the door…just in case in fell asleep in the car.
He then called Tasha and asked her to come at once.
…
…
…
"Sir Tarika toh bed par leti hui hai…kambal se nikal bhi nahi rahi hai. Kuch bolna toh dur ki baat hai."
Abhijeet took a moment to weigh the options he had in front of him now.
"Theek hai…tum jao."
…
…
Abhijeet went to her room and called her several times. But she didn't respond. So, he gently tapped her shoulder.
"Mujhe mat chuna Abhijeet…I'm not worth your touch."
He looked at the marks on her wrist. He then bent and kissed at the mark. For a moment Tarika flinched but there was something about his touch, about the kiss that made her feel better…It seemed to take away that sense of unworthiness that she was feeling. Abhijeet felt her body relax and kissed her other wrist too.
"Yaha bhi chua tha na unn logo ne."
Tarika refused to say anything. She just held his hand tightly. Tears however, refused to stop rolling down her cheeks.
Abhijeet sat on the bed, facing her.
"Tarika…mujhe koi fark nahi padhta…toh tumhe kyu? I know you are traumatized but please ye worth orth ki baat mat bolo. Tumhari koi galati nahi thi."
"They touched me almost everywhere. I feel nauseated."
"I can't bear it Abhijeet," she cried, holding his hand.
Abhijeet moved a little close, covering the gap between them.
"I will whip the shit out of them," he spoke in an angry voice.
"Uss se jo hua wo badal toh nahi jayega."
"Par at least wo dobara kisi ke saath ye sab karne se pehle das baar sochenge."
"Abhijeet wo….wo log…" she sobbed.
He took his hands out from her grip and cupped her face.
"Look at me."
Tarika shook her head vigorously.
"Tarika look at me," his tone was firm now.
She obeyed, hesitant.
"Tumhe aisa feel karne ki koi zaroorat nahi hai, okay?"
Tarika nodded.
"Good."
He hugged her.
"I hate myself. I can't overcome it."
"You will Tarika. We will go to a therapist tomorrow."
"Abhijeet mein…therapist nahi."
"But Tarika, a therapist would help….tum mujhse nahi share kar paa rahi jo baatein… wo unse bol dena..jo bhi tumhare mann mein chal raha hai."
Tarika looked away from him and spoke in an almost inaudible voice.
"Aur agar mein….tumse hi kuch baat karna chahu?"
"Tum jaanti ho na…mujhse kuch bhi bolne se pehle tumhe sochne ki koi zaroorat nahi hai."
He placed her hand on her cheek and made her look at him. She immediately looked at the floor. It was hard for her to maintain eye contact and talk to him.
"Mein….13 saal ki thi jab…. Usne mere saath batameezi ki."
Abhijeet's eyes widened. He never knew that she would have gone through something like that at a tender age. That was why she was reacting so badly.
"And wo baat…it's coming back to me."
"Tumne kisi ko bataya nahi?"
Tarika shook her head.
"Mein bahot darri hui thi."
Abhijeet wanted to know what happened after that, how it stopped, whether that beast was still free and so much more. But he chose not to ask.
"T-Tarika – "
"Nahi Abhijeet, aaj mujhe bolne doh…badi mushkil se himmat jutaya hai…Aur tumhare mann mein bahot sawal honge."
"Nahi Tarika agar ye sab tumhe takleef deti hai toh mat kaho."
"He tried to kiss me…"
And then she looked away, not being able to speak more. Abhijeet clenched his fist, his knuckles turning white.
"And mujhe chu bhi raha tha," she looked down, "Mujhe bilkul pasand nahi tha…parr mein kisi ko bol nahi sakti thi – kya bolna tha, kaise bolna tha… I didn't know at that time. It was a disgusting feeling."
"How long?" Abhijeet tried his best to contain his anger.
"Some months….not so frequent. Mein avoid karne ki koshish karti thi…but…ha-mesha ho nahi pata tha."
She cried, resting her head on his shoulder.
"Kon hai wo ! Kaha rehta hai?"
"It's been a long time Abhijeet…koi fayda nahi. Kanoon maangta hai."
"Saboot ki aisi ki taisi! Just tell me his name – mein jaan le lunga uski"
He held her by her shoulders and separated her.
"He has a family of his own now. Humne sheher change kar diya luckily….and everything stopped. Mujhe bahot time laga theek hone mein….but jaane doh."
"jaane doh!"
"Uski wife aur bacho ka toh koi dosh nahi hai na."
"Agar wo kisi aur ke saath aisa kar raha hoga toh! Tarika this is not good."
"Mujhe nahi pata kaha rehta hai wo ab."
"Mein pata kar lunga…"
"Mein nahi chahti Abhijeet…I met his wife. Bahot khush hai wo…chhodo na…"
Abhijeet fumed with anger and let the topic go for a while. But he wouldn't rest so easily…he would surely find that bastard.
Tarika kept her palm on his hand, asking him to calm down.
'Mann toh karta hai ki saale ke haath tod doon,' he thought.
He then looked at Tarika. He needed to control his anger for her. Right now, she needed him.
"Bhul jao uss baat ko Tarika – ye socho ki ek bura sapna tha."
"Kaash bhulna itna asaan hota," she sighed.
"Bahot mushkil hai tumhare liye…mein samajh sakta hu – magar jab tak hum past ke baare mein sochte rahenge…utna hi wo humhe andar se khaayega."
"Jaanti hu Abhijeet…par –"
"Par – var kuch nahi….you're my strong woman."
Tarika smiled listening to MY strong woman.
"Tum mujhse gussa nahi ho?"
"Tumse kyu gussa karunga mein?"
"Kyuki mein akeli gayi…And ye sab –"
"Tarika isme tumhari koi galati nahi thi…Galati toh unn dono ki thi…Bhala isme mein tumhe kaise dosh de sakta hu mein…"
"Tum baaki logo ki tarah nahi ho…tumhari soch kitni alag hai."
"Society teaches us a lot of wrong things…Of course it is better safe than sorry but iska ye matlab nahi ki ladkiyo se unki azaadi cheeni jaye – aur tumne aisa kuch nahi kiya jo tumhe nahi karna chahiye tha."
Tarika smiled again, this time looking directly at him. Seeing her smile, Abhijeet too felt better. He stretched his arms and engulfed her into a warm embrace.
Tarika buried her head in his chest, feeling safe in his arms.
A/N : A sensitive topic to write on… we hope you liked it all the same.
Please do review.
Food for thought: Silence breeds violence. 'The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people but because of the silence of good people' – Napoleon.