Shigeru-kun has to go back to America because of his new job. Can Kazuma tell the truth after all these years that they're together at work? Can Kuroyanagi still hold his feelings now that his kouhai has to go forever?
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Untitled
Now that the Yakitate!!9 is over, Kyousuke continued working in the Main Branch while Kazuma continued working in Tsukino's Southern Tokyo branch, with Shigeru by their side now. Tsukino is happy because geniuses like him are rarely working as bakers in a very small unproductive bakery. Of course, Kazuma is also happy about it, since his one and only is now working with him everyday.
"Thanks a lot you decided to work here instead of the Main Branch." Tsukino said, kneading her dough.
"No problem. It's better to work with your friends than be off getting rich and famous without the support of them, ne, Kazuma-kun?" Shigeru turned to look at Kazuma.
Kazuma stared for a moment and whispered, "Yes, Shigeru. It is better to work with your friends. Or else your work will not be fun at all."
Shigeru laughed, "Kazuma-kun! You are wise for an idiot like you!!" he stopped kneading and patted Kazuma's shoulders. Kazuma smiled a bit then looked down on his dough.
Later that night, Shigeru, is the last one to go out and the one who will lock the store. Kazuma is staying in the dormitories upstairs, where he usually sleeps. Before locking the store, Shigeru went up and asked Kazuma is he ate dinner yet.
"No, not yet. Why?"
"Nothing. For a celebration of the success of my first day here, how about if I treat you for dinner? Don't worry, I got plenty of money." He showed his wallet full of money.
"Demo…"
"No more buts Kazuma-kun," he pulled Kazuma out from the floor, "I'm sure you're hungry from all the work earlier, come on now…"
Kazuma did nothing but to follow Shigeru. Though he looks not as excited as Shigeru was, he's thrilled to have…to have…a date…with him.
They ate in a small restaurant not far from the Pantasia branch. Both of them ate casually, but Kazuma kept on looking at Shigeru's purple eyes while Shigeru smiled back. This made Kazuma flush a bit. This is Kazuma's most happy moment in his life, eating with him, working with him, and maybe, living with him.
Meanwhile, Kuroyanagi, Pantasia Main Branch's examiner, keeps in touch with his kouhai by sending him emails and maybe cards during the holidays.
Shigeru-kun,
It's been a while since I've last sent you a mail. How are you now? Are you going well with Azuma-kun? Or maybe Tsukino-sama? I hope so, because it's been 5 months already. I wonder if you grew taller?
As for me, it's still a normal one. No baker made bread as delicious as Azuma-kun's. I never made ridiculous reactions as those I did 5 months ago (that made me remember the bamboo reaction, I almost die there!) I hope I meet someone like Azuma-kun again: foolish but somehow intelligent.
As for Kyousuke, we've been going well too. Since he hasn't much money to earn an apartment, he lived with me until now. We're arguing about little things, but in general, we're friends. He's been improving too. His Solar Gauntlets helped him with his bread making. He's been making bread almost as tasty as Azuma-kun's.
For Kai Suwabara, he resigned already to go to Germany and help Monica open a pastry store there.
How about you? How're you doing now that you're working at Southern Tokyo Branch? Can you tell me some experiences you want to share with your ol' sempai? Please send my regards to everybody there.
RyouAfter sending the mail, Kuroyanagi felt something that he forgot to write, but he doesn't want his kouhai to know anyway. Until now, he still hides his love for Shigeru. It's been hurting him for sometime, but he knows he'll reply soon after he read his mail.
It's been 3 years now. Both Shigeru and Kazuma are 19, while Tsukino continued with her studies at Kyoto so she's away for some time. During summer holidays, Kyousuke would usually visit them and sometimes help with the work too. He knows Kazuma's secret, and he's been nagging Kazuma to tell the truth.
"Come on now, Kazuma!! It's been 3 years already! Aren't you brave enough to tell him?!"
"tell me what?" Shigeru asked. He's upstairs taking a nap when he heard their conversation.
Kazuma flushed and said calmly, "It's nothing, Shigeru. You're not the one we're talking about. Sorry we woke you up. Go back to sleep please." And he pushed Kyousuke out of the store.
"I can't do it, Kyousuke! My feelings began to bloom when he first worked here and now I can't stand the feeling, but he feels the opposite way. He sees me as his brother, his best friend. I can't just tell him I love him right after he thanks me for being his only close friend in this country."
"you got a point there, but, I already warned you before, it's better to tell it. It's now or never."
"don't worry, I'll tell him sooner or later. He'll never go away. He's my friend. We'll never leave each other's sides. And besides, I do love him."
"I understand you boy," Kyousuke said, patting Kazuma's head, "you may be still the idiotic JaPan friend, but you've changed a lot in 3 years."
Kyousuke slept with Kazuma for a week. Kazuma made his JaPan # 16 for Kyousuke before he goes back to the Main Branch, the first Japan that he saw back in the Main Branch Examination.
"I'm gonna miss you friend." Kyousuke added before going out of the store's main entrance.
"I'm gonna miss you too," Kazuma added, "Hope you get to visit again sometime."
"I do hope. I'm going to get a new apartment now, good thing I'm not going to sleep with Kuro-san under one roof."
While they're laughing, they heard a shout from upstairs. Both of them went up and see what happened. Shigeru was happy, holding a piece of paper; another paper with scribbles, plus the computer is open.
Kazuma asked, "Shigeru, something happened?"
Shigeru stopped his happiness, hid the paper and said, "nothing" as if nothing really happened. "Sorry to disturb you, Kazuma. Hey, are you going to bring Kyousuke to the terminal? Wait, I'll come too, just let me close the computer."
But before closing the computer, he saved some website and an email then got his jacket and went with them. While going back to the shop, Kazuma's been thinking about what Kyousuke said, I already warned you before, it's better to tell it. It's now or never.
"Please, it's never too late to tell it. I know he'll always be by my side." He told himself.
"Tell what? And who's he?" Shigeru heard.
"Oh, I was thinking about what Kyousuke said a while ago. And the 'he' is you. I know you'll never leave me, right? You're my best friend, and best friends are together forever. Ne, Shige-chan?"
"Uhmm…" Shigeru stopped for a while.
"Is something wrong again? Don't worry, I'll treat you to some of my Japan when we get back."
"Sure."
It's already around 12 midnight, Kazuma texted him to check if he's sleeping already. Shigeru told him he's going to email his sempai first. He threw his cellphone on the bed, sat down in front of his computer, and writes his email first as draft in a piece of paper.
Kuroyanagi-sempai,
It's been long. You're not my sempai anymore. I always forgot, but from our relationship we made back in Harvard, I always see you as my sempai, always ready to help his little kouhai. I'm also not little anymore. Haha.
Speaking of Harvard, after three years as a baker, I finally got a job as an assistant of fungi researcher and Medicine teacher. And guess what? It's at Massachusetts, the state where Harvard is. And the laboratory on where I'll be working is in the Medicine Department. Kinda cool, right? I'll be seeing our sensei-taichi again. Don't worry, I'll send your greeting to them when I go back.
I'll be going by the next two weeks. My brother, Tsutsumi-niisan is going along with me. He decided to live with me in the states, so that I have someone with me there.
Kazuma texted again. His cellphone rang, asking him if he's sleeping now. Shigeru replied, saying he has to finish the letter and it's urgent. He's back on his paper,
I'm sorry I didn't ask you to come with me, if my nii-san's not too excited that we're going to be together again. I hope you'll come and visit before I go. Don't worry, I'll go back here on the holidays and maybe bring some gifts. I'll won't be there forever, I have a contract stated that I can only work there for 5 years unless I gave an outstanding performance there, and maybe be a teacher! Just kidding…well, it's late now; I have to go to sleep. Kazuma is nagging me to sleep.
Shigeru
Shigeru slept throughout the early morning; and morning. It's 10 already, and he's not yet on the store. Kazuma, worried, went out and visit him in his apartment, making sure if he's okay.
He went in, seeing that Shigeru's bed is messy, but he's not there. However, he saw a piece of paper, which is the draft of Shigeru's email for Kuroyanagi. He read, and when he read about the job, he stopped and dropped the paper at the same time Shigeru went out from the bathroom, his towel around his waist and another on his wet hair.
Kazuma blushed red at the sight of Shigeru topless and his pink hair wet and on his face from the bath. "Kazuma, why are you here? Didn't I text you I'm going to be late today?" then he saw the paper on the floor. Shocked, he hurriedly took it and hid it on his drawer. He saw Kazuma's gloomy face.
"You saw it, didn't you?"
"How can you do this to me?! I thought we're best friends, together forever?! And now you're going to tell this to the person you didn't saw in a long time than your best friend who's with you since eternity?!" he ran.
Kazuma can't take the pain, he continued to run until his legs hurt and forced him to sit down. Shigeru caught up, but he's also very tired. Both of them took some deep breaths, and Shigeru had the courage to speak up first, "I'm really sorry, Kazuma. We are best friends, but if I said this, I know you'll get hurt."
"But it's better to tell me first than Kuro-san." Kazuma answered.
"I thought I could tell you if it's the right time…"
"Anytime's the right time, anytime's the best time! Didn't you think of that?"
"I'm sorry, Kazuma. I'm really sorry. I don't know how I'll repay this, I'm going in 2 weeks now." Shigeru's also very sad now; he can't believe he hurt his friend that much.
"I love you."
"Excuse me?"
"I…I…I said I love you!!" Kazuma shouted.
Silence.
On the other side, Kuroyanagi is also going to say the same thing as Kazuma did only through the cellphone. It's ringing, his heart beating faster and faster, but no one's answering. Maybe he didn't bring the phone with him. He thought. He relaxed, put the phone in his pocket and continued with his work.
Back to the youngsters, Shigeru kept silent while Kazuma wept. Tsukino ran by and hugged Kazuma. "I'm sorry you have to do this," she said, tears also falling down from her.
Shigeru closed his eyes and shook his head, "it's impossible. We're both guys. It's impossible you'd fallen in love with me."
Kazuma kept silent and continued to cry. Shigeru understood him and then hugged him too. The two people continued to protect Kazuma from the harsh realities of life.
Kazuma woke up. Where am I? Why am I here? Where's everybody??
"Ohayo, sleepy head." The pink-haired boy said, holding a tray with bread and milk.
"Shigeru! Where are we?"
"At my apartment, of course. Yesterday you cried the whole day you've fallen asleep. We have to carry you to the nearest building, which is here. We can't bring you to the store, you're too heavy." He let a soft laugh, but Kazuma join the fun. Shigeru then put down the tray and let Kazuma eat. "Hey, I was thinking about what you said yesterday."
"About that, Shigeru, I'm so sorry!! I'm sorry you should hear these words. I shouldn't –"
"It's okay. It's better if you tell it now than when I'm already going, right? I'm also sorry if I told you it's impossible. It's love, after all. Just like what the others say, Love conquers all; you can't do anything with it. I sympathize you, Kazuma. But I'm sorry to say that I don't love you back. I can't do that."
Kazuma let out a great sigh, "I know you won't love me back. I guess it is better if I told you, then the pain in my heart will lessen a bit, and the heaviness in my chest will lighten."
"Do you mean that you love me all those years??"
"Yes."
"All those years when I started out here, all those 3 years?"
"Yes." The next yes made Shigeru have the butterflies in his stomach. He sat down and watched Kazuma ate.
The next days go by like the wind; both of them are working again, both too are happy. Kazuma often smiles than before. It looks like Shigeru's last days in Japan are good, but he felt that something is inside him that he can't understand whenever he sees his best friend.
It's already a week. He consulted his brother. "Geez, bro, I guess it's love."
"But nii-san! He's a guy! I can't fall in love with a guy!"
"I know but I guess your head says no, while your heart says yes I know you're a genius, but you've got to listen to your heart sometimes. You may not know your heart is the right one"
"Hmm..I guess so. I mean, he looks cute when he smiles. I like it to hear his voice, and his eyes; his brown eyes make my day. Even his brown hair with the matching pink headband."
"Sorry, I can't help you. You've got to solve this yourself. Do it, or you'll regret it for the rest of your life."
Tsukino blurted out right after he put down the phone. "Shigeru, can you and Kazuma please make some French bread? We went out. I can't believe we're getting customers today!"
Shigeru followed without uttering a sound. He didn't told Kazuma to make with him, but he baked enough for the day.
As always, Shigeru and Kazuma are the last ones in the store. Finally, we're alone. Shigeru thought. It's his chance, if he just…
"Shigeru, can I ask you something?"
"Uhh, sure."
It took a few minutes before Kazuma answered again, he hugged him, "I'm sorry. I can't say it, is it okay if I do it anyway?" his hug tightened.
Shigeru's heart beats faster. He can feel the blood rushing around his body. Kazuma released his arms, took a step back, and held his hands.
He can now feel his heart going out of his chest. He became restless. His breathing became faster. He felt the butterflies in his stomach again.
Is Kazuma going to do it…? I hope not…but I also hope he'll do it. What? Do I want it? No, I don't I'm confused. Someone, please help me…
Too late. Kazuma already pressed his lips to the pink haired boy. While kissing, they held each other tight, eyes closed. Shigeru can't control it. It was wet, but sweet. It felt pleasant, comforting and soft. He can't stop, but he must. He really is confused. He felt Kazuma's hands held him tighter and tighter.
He forgot about everything, he forgot about work, he forgot that he's confused, about life, even about his new work at America. Right now, he wants this kiss, and he's giving everything he can do to that maybe once in a lifetime experience.
After a few minutes, maybe hours, and he felt it's been forever; Shigeru first broke the kiss. "Are we finished already?" a worried Kazuma asked.
Shigeru just smiled, "it's late already, let's call it a day, okay? Hey, do you want to sleep with me for the night?"
"That would be wonderful! Just let me get my pajamas…"
"Kazuma-kun," he used his old honorific to Kazuma, being flirty, "you don't need pajamas anyway, I have plenty of these at the apartment and I'll let you borrow one. It's okay, I don't mind. It's you, by the way." Kazuma blushed upon hearing the last sentence. He held hands and together walked back to Shigeru's apartment. But in the darkness of the night, someone is creeping, waiting for its prey.
Shigeru and Kazuma are walking happily and slowly when an arm pulled Shigeru in a shady corner. "Shigeru? Where are you?" Kazuma asked.
Shigeru saw Kuroyanagi putting his finger on his lips, signaling to keep quiet. Shigeru nodded, "it's just Kuroyanagi-sempai. I'll be back, don't worry. Just go on without me, there's still tomorrow night." And Kazuma followed him; he went on without him and entered the apartment.
"Kuro-sempai! I can't believe you visited me, but in an awkward time of the day. Let's go to that lamppost, I can't see you in this dark place."
Kuroyanagi answered with a dark tone, "You don't need to see me, Shigeru-kun. I also don't need to see you, all I want from you is your fair skin, and attractive shiny hair." He stroked Shigeru's hair.
"Hey! Don't do that! I feel uncomfortable," he felt another touch, "what are you doing!? Stop that! Don't touch me!"
This stopped Kuroyanagi to stroke him. He went out to where the pink haired boy can now see him. He's depressed.
"Sempai, if you need anything, I can give you bread and something to drink at the store. Or at my apartment, let's talk about things. I'll be going in a week now."
"I don't need those things." He looked down, his eyes can't be seen, "I want to tell you something, something that you won't believe it's really true."
"What is it? Tell me, we're buds. Tell me your secret, I promise I won't tell it to anyone."
"I know you won't tell it, because you are the first and last person that I'm going to say this."
"Why is that?
His sempai did not answer. He ran and pushed Shigeru down the cold, deserted and cemented road. He bumped his head hard and then he felt some blood drip. While struggling, Kuroyanagi jumped on top of Shigeru.
"Kuro-san…I can't breathe…you're…on top…of me…"
But the stubborn man can't hear anything, even the sound of the crickets, which are really noisy at this time of the night. Kuroyanagi's both excited and nervous of what he's going to do. He lied down, placing his chest against Shigeru's, and forced him to kiss.
Shigeru struggled, and let go. But Kuroyanagi's large body toppled over him then slid his hands inside the young boy's shirt. Kuroyanagi then unbuttoned Shigeru's shirt (or uniform) and kept on holding him tightly until Shigeru can't breathe.
The young boy kept on struggling but he can't take over the large and muscular body of Kuroyanagi. He can't take it anymore. He screamed, screamed till his lungs pop out. He screamed until Kuroyanagi jumped and freed him. He then ran as fast as he can, now that he feels tired and hurt. His sempai almost reached him at his apartment, but Kazuma opened the door for Shigeru to enter and automatically locked the door before Kuroyanagi ran in.
"Shigeru! My goodness, what happened? It looks like you've been in a sumo-wrestling match. Your hair, it's messy. And I think you even bumped your head."
"It's Kuroyanagi-sempai's fault…he…he…I don't know, I'm confused again…" then he sat down on the floor and cried.
Kazuma felt his pain, sat beside him, and hugged him, just like what Shigeru did to him when he said his feelings. Tears fell too; the ice-cold water trickled on Shigeru's red and hot face, making it to sting a little. Kazuma sat up and get some alcohol to clean the dry blood on Shigeru's head from the bump.
While cleaning, they hear moans just outside the door. It must be Kuroyanagi. Then they hear the moaning stop. A voice spoke, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was drunk before. I don't know what I'm doing. Please, forgive me. I must clean my hands for what I've done to you. I'm so evil and a dirty man. Forgive me, my little kouhai."
Shigeru stood up and peeped through the peeping hole and there he saw Kuroyanagi sitting down, leaning on the door and looking at his hands. He must've been miserable. Maybe he is drunk then, but why does he has to do this to me? He slightly opened the door and said, "I understand you, but I won't forgive you. How did you do this to me?"
"Because I feel miserable right after I read your last email."
"The one with the job and America?"
"Yes. Why do you have to go and leave me? The reason on why I'm working in this bakery until now is because of you. You said you love this store and you'll do anything to stay here, and so do I."
"But why do you have to do all those things? You have your own life anyway, I can't tell you on what you will do or become in the future."
"Okay. It's because I love you. There, I said it."
Shigeru looked down, and started crying again, "gomenasai sempai demo, I already love someone."
He heard louder moaning.
"I'm really sorry, it's Kazuma. Besides, I'm too young for you. Find someone with your age; I know you may found a person like Catherine: nice, beautiful, and intelligent. I'm sorry, but I only love you as a friend." Then he entirely opened the door. Kuroyanagi entered.
Kazuma smiled happily, "I'm so sorry about your fight earlier. I bet you people are hungry, how about Japan # 57? I used the bread me and Shigeru made yesterday."
Tomorrow they acted as if nothing happened last night, just that both Shigeru and Kazuma are very sleepy. Only one more night and Shigeru have to go, but nothing much happened this day. The next day, Tsukino, the manager and Kazuma made a secret goodbye party for Shigeru before he goes.
"You have to go at 10 sharp. Don't even peek on what we're doing!!!" Shigeru read his post-it from Kazuma taped on his lamp, "Well, there's nothing wrong if I peek a little. Besides, I can't do anything here, everything's packed."
At the entrance, he took a quick look from the store; all he sees is the color black. I bet they're making a party for me, but, black's the motif?
"And that Kazuma thinks you won't peep huh?" it was manager Ken, he picked Shigeru up and dropped him in front of the main branch of St. Pierre, "you take a good last look on our mortal enemy here before you go to America."
Shigeru's sitting at the entrance when St. Pierre manager Mokoyama busted open the door, which made the pink-haired boy fly a bit. "Shigeru-kun, my boy! I heard you're going away to America, where you finished your studies? Oh, you know what, you're much cuter then my Ken-loves," he pinched his cheeks, "how kawaii you are…I'm so sorry you have to go, not only the disgusting Pantasia will miss you, even the great Tsuyoshi Mokoyama will miss you!!!" then he hugged Shigeru tight.
Kazuma came out, "Shigeru!! You can come now! Hey, Mokoyama-san, please don't suffocate him"
Everybody had fun, all except the weird unreliable senior, Kabuto. There were Kazuma's JaPans, of course. The store is closed for the day, and for the party. There were banners too everywhere, with the words 'good luck', 'have fun there', and 'goodbye'.
Goodbye. That is the hardest word Kazuma will say later on. He can't let Shigeru go. He can't accept that his best friend/lover has to go to the other side of the world just when things are getting better. He can't, he can't just let go of it. It pierces his heart whenever he thinks that Shigeru has to go.
"Kazuma? Wanna say something before he goes? He may not be coming back." Tsukino said, holding Kazuma's hand tight, because she knows how he feels.
"Uhmm…" he looked at Shigeru's sparkling eyes for the last time and said, "nothing. Just good luck on your work there."
"Thanks. Arigatou gozamias for everything." He gave Kazuma a big hug. The warmth of his hands made Kazuma felt warmed and protected for the last time. He embraced him back.
He can't take it anymore. He looked back; he can't see the sight of him going away forever. He can't. He can't. He just can't!
"SHIGERU!!!" he ran and hugged Shigeru again, this time very tight. So tight that Shigeru can't breather again.
"I'm…really…sorry, Kazuma…but I have…to…go."
His older brother called him, "Shigeru, come on, we'll be late."
Shigeru shook himself and let go of Kazuma. Kazuma also let him go, but in his heart, he still can't let him go. Shigeru entered the airport already; he'll never go out and come back again.
Tsukino smiled at Kazuma, hugged him and said, "I'm sorry you have to experience this pain. Even if I don't exactly feel it, I know it, I just know it. It's life, you have to go with the flow and accept what challenges you'll take. It's like making bread; sometimes you make mistakes and do it all over again. Don't be sad, Kazuma, you'll age faster. You still have me, manager and Kyousuke, ne?"
Kazuma smiled again. He can do it. He can accept this. But still, even if he completely forgot about Shigeru, there's always a part of his heart that longs for his warming embrace and shining eyes forever.
Owari
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Author: i'm really sorry if there are grammatical errors, wrong spelling, and any other reactions you had while you're reading this. Please review my fic! XD