Title: Through the Eyes of the Feared

Rating: Humour/Parody

Author: tte

Ahoy There! How are ye? Good? That's fantasicy. This is just a short vignette about one of the less known -but not necessarily less important- characters of "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest"; our beloved Kraken.

tte

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The splintering of wood and the sound of cannon fire alerted me immediately of what was above on the surface, Pirates. And there, amongst the ruckus was that infuriating, annoying rhythmic thumping.

I blew a large silvery bubble of frustration and tried to ignore it, but failed.

Blast! Bloody Heartless Pirate, always disturbing my slumber!

I growled mightily and dragged my tentacles lethargically off the sea floor; Davvy Jones had summoned me.

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Why do I even work for that prick anyways? I asked myself whilst drifting grudgingly to the surface, Oh yeah, the pays great…hmp. So anyway, I'm floating to the surface when I see a big black pretty ship, naturally I try to eat it. Yummy. I draw closer and wrap my tentacles around the ship and get a closer look; 'The Black Pea' I frowned, What? That ain't a very good name fer a pirate ship!? Oh! Sorry, my tentacle was cutting off the last letter; 'The Black Pearl', that's better!

So, I'm about to compliment the Captain on what a pretty ship he has, when some idiot decides it would b fun ter stab me!

Bloody Pirates!

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By now I'm getting really P.O'ed and plotting my vengeance on that slimly, lipless poor excuse for a pirate, but before I can I get this painful tickle in me throat! Mon, I must have been bad in a past life to deserve a day like this. I shake my head and sigh just as another man stabs me, that's it mate no more mister nice Kraken! This ship is going down! I bash the pretty black ship about a bit; growling and general giving them puny men somat to write home about, all the while imagining its Jones's head. It's a shame really; to break such a pretty boa-ship, but it ain't up to me. So I let her sink.

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Now listen up maties, 'cause this is when me day really brightens up; another swash-buckling idea from those blasted pirates. Ye see that cute one there? No not Ragetti, he's got a wood eye! Hey? No, no not him he's phat. Y'know that guy what had the long pretty blonde hair in that other movie about a ring? Yess him! Well he and the dreadlocked, eyeliner fellow got all macho and wanted ter blow-me-bloody-up!

Blasted Smelly Pirates!

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Now I'm not the one to complain, but, when yer get rudely woken and summoned to do some squid/man/thingys dirty work with something caught in your throat, receiving nothing but bad publicity whilst getting stabbed by a bunch of smelly pirates, you tend to get, lets say a little, vexed. Then imagine some sea dogs decide ter light up dozens of barrels of gun-powder in your face, you can imagine that can't you? Good. Well then you can't blame me for going a bit physc, now can you!? No that's right, you can't.

So as you can imagine I wreaked my vengeance quiet well on that pretty black ship, in fact I almost tore it in two. smug grin afterwards I felt much better, and floated away, no longer wanting to hurt the smelly pirates, lucky for them.

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But apparently my little spit I had caused quiet a scare for they had jumped into a little boat and begun to row away, with cutie in the lead. Mindlessly, I drifted back to the ship wanting to sink it. When I got there I realized I couldn't, because chained to the mast looking all sad and alone was Mr. Eyeliner. I just couldn't sink his ship, he'd cry!

So instead I wrapped around the ship and was about to try and cheer him up when that painful tickle in me throat came back. I harked and coughed up whatever it was onto Mr. Eyeliner -who had by now freed himself from those nasty chains- and backed up a little. To my utter surprise he smiled and picked up the now gooey triangle-like-thing, he must have been familiar with it 'cause he shook it off and rammed it on his head!

Crazy Pirate.

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So now were just staring at each other blankly, lost for what to do, Mr. Eyeliner grins prettily and pulls out his sword (stop thinking dirty!) and brandishes it at me, I blink and continue staring at him. A few minutes go by like in silence, until Mr. Eyeliner comes to the decision to jump into my mouth and get swallowed whole! I splutter and try to cough him back up but he just ends up in my tummy. Ouch.

Suddenly I feel a sharp stab I my gut and realize he's trying to get out, I growl and try to make him stop cutting me by thrashing around. Mr. Eyeliner eventually cuts his way out and swims away after the little ship on the horizon., leaving me all alone, and in pain.

'I quit!' I roar scowling swimming away from the wreck of the pretty ship, now I'm angry.

'DAVVY JONES YOU'RE GOING DOWN!!!'

End