Hinata bashing. If you don't like it, guess what? You can sit on a cactus. Inspired by "Sakura's Secret", which bashes Sakura.

"Thank Shinto that training is over," said a sweat-covered Hinata as she entered her 850 square foot trailer. She closed the door then she farted so loudly that her buttcheeks vibrated her anus. It smelt so damn bad that you could even smell it from the outside. She sighed in relief and went to the computer to log onto "IMVU". Her avatar's name was HyugaBooba, as her avatar had fairly large breasts, greatly contrasting the reality of her 34 A's. She sighed as she wished she had the same sized breast of her friend Haruno sakura, which were 38 C's.

The 15 year old Hinata flirted with some random guy who said was 17 on the avatar profile. He noticed that he was from the Phillipines, so of course he had to be wearing flip flops. His name was Tenacious Tommy. They had dances and a lot of fun at the clubs and got booted out about twenty times. He asked for her email adress so they could contact on Yahoo messenger, but she declined and said they had to know each other first, but she did add him as an imvu friend. All the sudden, her stomach growled. She said good bye She went into the kitchen and picked up a pop tart and one of her mom's Budweisers 20 oz bottles. She went to her blue ray player in her room and put on "Goodfellas" and watched it for about 18 minutes until she got tired of all the swearing. She looked over to the makeup station on her desk and grabbed several bottles of perfumes and ran across the house at lightning speed as she squeezed the bottle of Christina Aguilera perfume. The air was so filled with perfume that you could see it and it smelt like salty garbage. (FG reference)

Hinata pulled out her uPhone 5 and recorded herself. "Hi, I'm Hyuga Hinata and it's May 18th. As soon as I walked through the door, I farted really loudly and I swear that you could probably smell it outside. I got on imvu and talked to this weird guy, but we flirted and I think I'm in love. I wanna have his babies! I got sad when I realized I have small breasts, unlike my best friend Haruno Sakura. So I'm totally jealous. Not of the plane, no way, just the fact that she's in Finland. I have to work on my AP Calculus homework now, since I'm so damn smart. What's kinda ironic is that we just took the AP test, but our teacher Kakashi is making us do more shit cus he's a loser. Peace out, bitches!"

She went to her Cherry (AU version of Apple) computer and uploaded her video. She had exactly 89 videos prior to this one and her combined views exceeded 2.4 billion and had a total 3.8 million subscribers. She took out her 1,200 page calculus book and slammed it so loud that it was easy to She farted and there was a knock at the door. She opened it and saw that it was...

"Would you stop following me?" said the voice. "Man, you are so annoying."

"Naruto!" said Hinata with a giggle. "Who were you talking to?"

"Tonton," huffed Naruto. "That stupid walking bacon supply smelt my ramen and zucchini salad and was following me for about 2 miles as I walked to your house. What are you up to?"

"Just doing my calculus homework, silly," she said as she extended her hand to touch his spiked hair, but he recoiled and let her hand out in the open grabbing oxygen and nitrogen molecules.

"Naruto-kun..." whined the blue-haired girl.

"Yeah?" he said as he turned around as if he'd been found. Hinata's heart started jumping.

"I...I think I l-"

"Hold that thought, my phone is ringing," he interrupted. "Yeah, I understand boss. Okay. I'll be there in about ten minutes. Got a new job a few days ago. You were saying?"

She turned her back to him and ignored him. "Maybe some other time, Naruto," she said with a small sigh. "Where do you work?"

"Burger King."

"Figures."

"What does that mean?"

"It means what you put on the burgers matches your hair! Now leave me alone as I go watch CSI!" she cried as she ran into her bedroom with her face buried in her hands.