Author's Note: This was just an idea that's been bouncing around in my head since I watched the movie. Read and enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Lemonade Mouth
It's wrong. Stella knows this but she just can't help herself. Her body is tense, jaw subtly clenched as she stares across the cafeteria. She feels the air move as a body drops down next to her but can't bring herself to look away. She's weak like that.
"Hey Stells" Charlie lets his tray fall to the table and barely misses a beat before digging into a questionably yellow pile of mashed potatoes. "Man, I'm starving! Dodge ball in gym is no joke, I worked up the craziest appetite," he says between bites.
She's not really listening, his words coming out like white noise in the background. Leaning against the table, she rests her face in her hands, sighing deeply. Dark eyes track her target with the deadly precision of a predator. It's not like she does this on purpose. She would never choose to be this way, complicate her life for no reason. It could be a room of a thousand people in a place she's never been before and her eyes will always search out the same face.
"Are you ok? You seem a little…off."
"What? No…yeah…great. I mean, I'm fine Charlie." Stella turns to her friend, rubbing the back of her head. She smiles at him. "Sorry, I just spaced out for a second." Of course, by a second she really means two months and without even the briefest respite. Wen and Olivia sit down next to them, deep in conversation about a song they're in the middle of writing. So that just leaves…
"Hey guys!'
Stella jerks upright, her posture suddenly rigid. She allows herself a split-second for composure. "Hey Mo!" Charlie hasn't seemed to notice anything strange about Stella's reaction. God bless his oblivious little heart. Tentatively she glances up from the table at Mo, nodding to her in greeting. The Indian girl sits down across from Stella and Charlie, beginning an animated discussion with the drummer about the dodge ball game in gym. Stella's thankful for this because it allows her to sink back into her thoughts, trying, as she has for the past two months, to sort out her feelings.
Pinpointing the moment where just looking at Mo had become the greatest obstacle of her day is impossible. Sometimes Stella thinks it might have started all the way back at the pizza parlor, watching the way she lost herself while she was singing. She definitely remembered being moved by that, completely blown away by Mo's ability to give herself over when performing. Other times she thinks maybe it was that night on the bus to New York when Mo had fallen asleep on her shoulder, her silky hair tickling the bare skin on Stella's neck for miles and miles. Most of the time though, she forgets about the when, hands utterly full with the why.
Why is easy. Every few minutes Stella allows herself a glance across the table. Or maybe she succumbs to it. Either way, it happens. Mo's smile is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. Stella truly believes that world peace could be achieved with that smile. Who wouldn't fall completely to their knees on that feature alone? And there are so many more to be spoken for. Like her eyes, large, deep, pools of brown, capped with the longest lashes. Those eyes that brim with the utmost kindness and joy. Stella never feels more conflicted then under Mo's gaze, simultaneously elated and terrified.
"Stella, are you alright?" Checking back into reality, Stella realizes that Mo's no longer talking to Charlie. Those eyes that she loves, then hates, then loves all over again are focused entirely on her.
And she cares. In the cesspool of apathy that defines high school, Mo cares. Another thing Stella loves, just not in this second. The rest of her friends have gone silent as well and four pairs of eyes fall heavy upon her. Stella frowns. Falling into Mo's concerned gaze she tries not to lose herself in it, forcing out a fake laugh. "W-what? Why does everybody keep on asking me that today? Can't a girl be a little tired? My brothers' kept me up most of last night after an experiment they were working on blew a hole in the wall. Apparently, even geniuses make mistakes."
Her friends laugh, allowing Stella to breathe a sigh of relief. Satisfied with her answer, Wen, Olivia and Charlie go back to whatever conversation they had been having. Mo, on the other hand, continues to fix Stella with a look. Her one eyebrow is raised and her perfect, pink lips are pursed. If Stella weren't so annoyed by her sudden curiosity she might have found it adorable. Ok, so she still found it kind of adorable.
"Stella, are you sure you're ok?"
"Yeah Mo, I just told you why I'm tired and stuff, remember?"
"I know," Mo starts idly running fingers through strands of her long, dark hair and Stella thinks she would give anything to be that hand. "It's not just today though. I dunno, it seems to me like you've been off for the past couple weeks. Maybe longer. I just want to make sure you're ok."
Stella opens her mouth but words seem to fail her. So she hadn't been as transparent as she thought. Maybe she should just tell her. What the hell, it was driving her absolutely insane and Mo practically knew anyways. "Mo I…" But then again, what if Mo got all weird about it? What if she was so freaked out by the idea that she quit the band? Stella could never forgive herself if she were the reason Lemonade Mouth broke up, or worse , if she were the reason Mo stopped doing something she loved.
It's at this particular internal impasse that Scott sits down, sliding into the seat next to Mo. Stella watches, mouth still open, as he pulls Mo to him and kisses her. Bristling with jealously, Stella turns her gaze down to the table. Fucking Scott. Even before realizing her feelings for Mo, she had never been a fan of Scott Pickett. The way he had treated Mo like shit all that time. And then she just gave him a second chance. Just like that. Sometimes Stella hated what a good person Mo really was.
The only good thing about Scott's entrance is that he distracts Mo long enough for Stella to make a quick escape. Standing up abruptly, she pats a confused Charlie on the shoulder before making a b-line for the door. A few flights of stairs and a hallway later and she's outside. Stella sucks in air and then exhales deeply like oxygen is a new thing to her. Being around Mo is too hard these days. She has to think far too much about every little thing she does and it's exhausting. But then at the same time being around her is the only time Stella ever feels alive. What a complex.
"God, what am I gonna do?" She says to no one in particular, leaning against the brick of the school.
"Stella!" She hears the click of a door opening behind her and turns to see Mo walking briskly towards her.
"Seriously?" She's not allowed, even a moment of peace. "I mean…h-hey, what are you doing out here?"
"Uh, I could ask you the same thing" Mo says, stopping a few feet away from her. Mo pushes a curtain of hair behind her shoulder and smiles at Stella, making the girl visibly weak at the sight. Thank God for the sturdiness of brick. "What the hell, Yamada? You bolted from the cafeteria before answering my question!"
"Sorry, I thought you wouldn't notice" she says truthfully, eyes finding their way to meet Mo's. She does feel bad. Her bottled up feelings make her a shitty friend.
"Why?"
Mo is actually oblivious and it makes Stella smile. Just another item on the long list of why she's hopelessly, head over heels for the girl. "Uh, because a certain boyfriend of yours was sucking your face off. I thought I'd have a good half-hour at least before you came up for air."
Mo chuckles and Stella wishes she were kidding. "Oh, that. Well not this time, missy. Something's up with you and I'm not just gonna leave you hanging."
Stella smiles at that, brushing the strand of blonde hair out of her face. "So you're really not gonna stop bothering me until I tell you?"
"Nope." Mo inches closer, bumping her playfully with one shoulder.
Stella sighs. "What if…what if I said that I want to tell you but I can't."
"Then I would ask you why." The smile is gone from her beautiful face, replaced with one of worry. Her brow is creased, a small wrinkle working its' way down her smooth forehead and all Stella wants to do is make it go away.
"Because it would ruin everything." Cryptic or not, it's the most honest thing she's said in quite a while.
"Stella," Mo's hand find's her bare forearm, squeezing it tightly. The contact makes Stella all tingly and she unintentionally leans into the touch. "If you're in trouble you can tell me."
She's falling into those beautiful brown eyes again and for the life of her, Stella can't make herself stop. "You have no idea."
"C'mon, tell me." Mo is leaning in closer like all Stella has to do is whisper whatever it is in her ear and everything will be fine. If only. She's so close now, if Stella wanted, she could count all of Mo's long lashes, memorize the small creases at her cheeks that define the girl's smile. And God, Stella wants to kiss her. Is it so wrong? All she wants to do is try it, just once. Try it without all the messy consequences to see if it's worth all the pain.
She leans in as well; closing the gap between them so there's only mere centimeters that separate their lips. "Mo," Was she really going to do this? Did she have the courage? "I…I see dead people." Nope. No, she did not.
Mo starts to giggle, her forehead falling against Stella's as she hugs herself. "You are such a jerk, Stells" she says after calming down. "You had me really worried for a moment."
"Yeah, that's me, jerk to the extreme. I really had you going there, huh?" Stella feels dead inside. She's surprised words are even coming out of her mouth at all, let alone jokes to cover up her almost big reveal. She's feels like such a coward.
"Definitely. By the way, you're still coming to Scott's party tonight, right?"
"You know…I'm really not sure." All Stella wants to do is go home, curl up in her bed and lay there for days until she shrivels up and dies.
"Aw, c'mon! You already missed the last one for bogus reasons, you've gotta come! Pleeease, for me?"
God dammit, she could never say no to this girl, not even when she felt at the lowest of lows. Stella has to wonder if that's what it meant to be in love with somebody. "Ahhh, ok. For you Mo, anything."