Katniss Everdeen walked silently through District 12 just before sunrise on a peaceful spring morning. Peeta was still asleep in their house. In the years since the war they slowly moved into his house. At first it was just to avoid being alone, but it changed somewhere along the line. Now it was 10 years later and they were married. He didn't know she'd left, and once he woke up, he would assume she had just gone hunting. That was all he would ever know about Katniss's trips to the woods. She went enough, mostly so hunting wouldn't seem unusual to Peeta, she would never let him know because it would only hurt him. As Katniss walked past the broken remains of her home, she tried to avoid eye contact of those still making an effort to rebuild. She had never helped, if only because the memories were too painful. She also suspected that a lot of the town knew where she went on some of her mornings in the woods. They knew she was going to see Gale, and Katniss was fairly sure that Peeta was the only one that didn't know.
Once every year, more if the other needed it, Katniss and Gale would go to their old place in the woods. They didn't have much contact apart from these trips, it was too hard for both of them. They tried to avoid all contact for a while, Gale even married a nice girl from District 2 named Janie, but they always came back to each other. The first time they met, they both knew what would happen, and what it meant. Katniss thought about how they ended up here every time they met, how much it would hurt Peeta and Gale's wife if they ever found out. As she crossed the meadow, she kept her head down, feeling ashamed of what had become of her and what she had caused. Not only did she think about Peeta, but also the entire district that fell apart because of her. When she reached the fence, she went through the gate that had been there since the end of the war and immediately shook away any thoughts of the war and Peeta, attempting to remember how things once were, when everything was easier. It was just Katniss and Gale against the world. For just today, it would be exactly that.
She approached the old rock where they sat, abandoning her hunting gear at the base of a nearby tree, they both knew there would be little to no hunting today. He wasn't there yet, so she sat down and put her head against her knees. Her guilt was creeping up on her, just as it always did, and she tried to block it out. She didn't know why she bothered though, it always disappeared completely once she saw him. Today was particularly bad though, because Katniss had called him a few months early. Usually Gale was the one to request extra trips, but not this time. She took a deep breath and tried to relax. A few minutes later she heard him walk up. She didn't look, she knew it was him.
Gale sat down next to her and she leaned into his shoulder. She hated that she had to call him, because they always asked each other why, and even if she tried to lie, he would know. She looked over to him, studying his face. His muscular body had remained the same, but there was always some new line to find on his face. They were both so young, but stress and pain had brought on early frown lines for each. He hadn't said anything yet, and Katniss realized he was waiting for her to start. She reached across him to grab his hand, brushing over each callus before entwining their fingers.
"I'm sorry I called." It always started this way.
"Don't be," Gale's deep voice faintly echoed through the forest. "If you had waited a few days, I would have been the one to call. Again." He looked across the forest that they had practically lived in through their entire childhood for a while before lightly kissing Katniss on the temple. "Should we start walking?" The sun was just coming up, and however much they wanted these days to last forever, there was always a time limit.
"Yeah, probably." They stood and collected their bows, but so they wouldn't get broken by a passing animal or something.
It took longer than they had hoped, but they finally reached the lake and made their way to the tiny concrete building that was the closest they would ever come to having a home together. Since the war, they had managed to make the place more comforting by adding an inflatable bed, some shelved, and a chest that held the few remains from the old days.
"So Catnip," he still called her that after all these years, at least once every time they say each other, "What was it this time?" She sat on the edge of the bed as Gale built a fire. She watched him work and tried to gather her words.
"It was a lot of things. I miss you a lot. Sometimes it's just worse than other times." He finally got the fire going and as he stood up, he pulled Katniss up to join him in the middle of the single room. He put his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. She knew he hated to her that she was having a hard time, even though they both still were.
"What else?" He didn't let go, and Katniss knew he never would. He would hold her together, hold her up, just be with her, and she would do the same for him whenever he called. This time felt different though. She thought it might have been because he said he would have called too.
"Why were you going to call in a few days?" He sighed heavily, and Katniss knew instantly he regretted saying that.
"Katniss, we don't have to do this part." But they did, and they both knew it.
"Come on, Gale…"
"I'll tell you later." Katniss stepped back and looked up at him with a fierce gaze. "We'll both talk about it later. I promise."
"Fine." Gale smiled for the first time since he arrived. Katniss loved to see him smile, and it was so rare that she tried to capture each moment that it happened. She moved a hand up to his face and pulled him down to her to kiss him. He kissed her back, and after a moment they slowly took the few steps back toward the bed.
Whenever they met, it was never any overly passionate or lustful occasion. It was more like coming home. The first time it happened Katniss was the one to call. They didn't plan on things happening the way they did, but neither of them ever regretted it. This was the way things were supposed to turn out anyways.
This time was no different from the others. Each move was slow but sensual. Each tough gentle yet firm. Even when they first slept together, they knew each other's bodies perfectly. They would never speak during the actual act, but they didn't need to. They had a connection that few people had. It was always just Gale and Katniss. Them against the world as they tried to escape. Katniss reached up to brush Gale's hair out of his face and he leaned forward to kiss her on the lips before moving to her neck and then down along her collarbone. They moved together as one, reconnecting through an act that should have never occurred. Each time they had sex, they knew it was wrong, and Katniss always though it should feel wrong in some way. That never happened though, it was always more right than it ever was with Peeta.
After they had finished, they lied together in their pretend home, wishing it could be real but knowing it was never possible. They were silent for quite some time, avoiding the conversation they knew was imminent. Katniss was the first to speak, knowing they couldn't wait forever.
"I called because I need you. Not in an 'I need you to survive' way, but the way where I just need you more than I'd like to admit. But I am admitting it, because I could never lie to you." Gale's hand was slowly stroking up and down Katniss's arm and after she spoke he kissed her shoulder. "And I called because I love you. Because I always loved you, and because I just can't stop."
"I love you. And I need you." He paused to roll onto his back, and Katniss moved so that she was facing him. She could tell by his tone that there was a lot more than just that. She watched his chest rise and fall slowly, placing her hand over his heart. "Janie's pregnant."
Katniss was expecting anything but that. She and Gale had talked about kids before, how they never wanted them even though the war was over and Panem was gone. Had they planned this?
"I was going to call because when she told me the only thing I thought about was you. Well, first there was some shock, but then you. Always you." She waited for him to continue. "I never wanted this. All I wanted was you, only you, and to be free. I guess I couldn't expect both, could I?"
"Things got screwed up after the capitol. It's my fault."
"It's not. It's this fucked up world we live in. It's what we've had to become because of it. When she told me, it wasn't just that I thought of you, it was everything. The thought of a baby, the fact that I never wanted kids. The only time I ever imagined having kids was picturing a life with you." He began to slowly stroke Katniss's hair. "It was supposed to be us, you know?"
"I know." Katniss closed her eyes and pulled closer to Gale and a tear managed to escape. "Why couldn't it have been us?" There was no answer to this question, and they both understood that, but it never stopped them from wondering.
They stayed there in their 'home' embracing one another for longer than they should have, but they always do. When they finally left, it was late afternoon, and it was as painful as ever to separate. Once they reached their meeting place, it would be another forced goodbye. They began to walk slowly, but still hand in hand.
"How's Peeta?" They always caught up on the walk back.
"He's fine. We're both fine, I guess. He still wants kids though, and I kind of hate him for it. How's Janie?" She didn't really want to hear about the pregnancy, but she had to know.
"Well, pregnant." Gale laughed to himself. "She's happy though, I guess that's the important part. Right?" Katniss nodded. They talked about friends and colleagues, Gale talked about his job. Small talking away to avoid any more painful talk of what might have been.
They reached the rock and slowly stopped walking. Gale pulled Katniss in for a hug. The goodbye hugs were always the tightest. "We'll see each other again. It's a promise."
"It's a promise." Gale gave Katniss a quick kiss on the forehead before heading deeper into the woods where his personal hover craft was waiting and Katniss started back toward 12. She didn't know how long it would be this time, but she hoped it wouldn't be long. She stopped when she reached the edge of the woods to collect herself. This was a part of her routine. Woods, Gale, home, goodbyes, and then a breath. As soon as she walked through that gate, she left this life behind and went back to who she was supposed to be. She absorbed every last ounce of the day, rethinking every moment with Gale, even the bad ones, because for that day, and for all of their days in the woods, it was just Gale and Katniss against the world, and it was perfect.
A/N: I hope you liked it! This was my first Hunger Games fic, and I mostly wrote it because I wanted to be able to hold onto something that could have been so perfect, but couldn't actually happen. I'm still routing for Gale. Reviews are appreciated!