He didn't love her. He didn't know her long enough to love her, and he had been too hurt to love anyone quickly, or even open his heart up that easily. But she did mean something to him. Out of all the people he had ever met in the universe, she had been the only one to show him true kindness, actual affection. What he felt most for her was wonder and confusion, and after that, gratitude. She didn't know, she couldn't know how much her kindness meant to him. How her gentle touch and affirming words started to fill the gaping chasm that years of being unwanted had left within him. His heart, holographic though it was, started to beat again around her, because of her. It felt strange. It was odd and painful and new, yet somehow wonderful. She didn't know him, but she accepted him. She… liked him, when even he didn't like himself.
It wasn't just the sex that made her memorable to him, though for that alone she would forever be burned into his memory. It was… her empathy, her understanding, her compassion. Odd sensations. He didn't know what to do with them. Pain and harshness and unkindness, exclusion, cruelty and mocking… and disappointment… those he knew how to handle. But kindness… kindness was utterly foreign to him. It caused his heart to jump painfully into unfamiliar territory- he thought it was called "hope"- but even though it froze him with shock and uncertainty, and distrust lurked in the wings, he knew he wanted more. But did he even deserve it? Did he deserve a woman as beautiful and wonderful as her? Self-loathing rose up and stabbed him through the tender heart. No, it said; he didn't.
Rimmer sighed as he wordlessly traced the image of Nirvana Crane that Holly had managed to obtain and project for him on the view screen. Her shining, angelic face smiled out at him.
No, he didn't love her. But he might have.