This story takes place at the time of the Yule ball and other than for the characters involved shows no resemblance to the books/movies whatsoever. If any part does it is entirely accidental and will probably result in a coronary on my part. My mind also added from the movie Flashdance which I had been watching while I was reading and munching Cheez-its (not in the story). All characters from the books/films are creations of J.K. Rowling. Welcome to the train wreck of my imagination.
Prior to leaving the Great Hall, Ron grabbed Harry by the arm and took him aside, he then told him about a flyer he had seen for choir auditions. "Wouldn't Hermione be perfect?" he went on enthusiastically. Harry agreed. Hermione, who had been close, started to reenter the dining room looking for her companions, replied that she didn't believe it was fair since she was experienced in the performing arts.
Pansy Parkinson, was walking with Draco overheard this, and putting on her usual airs said loudly enough for all passerby's to hear, "So the stuck up little mud-blood thinks she's better than the rest of us and is making up excuses once again because the truth is so obvious!"
Ron and Harry, now with they're backs up, weren't about to let this pass. The two looked at one another, silently vowing that they'd find a way to get Hermione to say yes.
Being an empath, Harry said to Hermione, "You do realize Pansy is jealous, don't you. She thinks you're interested in Draco."
In exasperation, Hermione turned to back to Harry, "She thinks any girl Draco looks at for longer than a millisecond wants him for her own."
"Hermione, can't you just do this for Ron…." Hermione gives him an upturned eye look, "O.K. for me too."
Professor Snape, present at the audition at Pansy's insistence, was already feeling as only an empath could that if it had been Lily who had been challenged she'd be behaving just as Hermione and therefore spelled himself to prevent anyone from noticing any untoward reactions on his part.
Pansy was the first to perform. Folding her arms down in front of her and standing straight and still, she sang a sweet little version of a lullaby standard to all wizarding children. Her voice being high and screechy and would've seen both Professors Snape and Flintwick scrunching they're eyes in pain pain as the key she sang in was obviously EEEEEEEE.
Once finished she looked over at Hermione with a "now top that" look on her face. Hermione looked at her friends, "Sorry, I've changed my mind…this would be supremely unfair considering how long I've been studying, although she'd be singing tonight at the ball as a favor to a friend in the band who has gone into labor."
Both Professors looked at each other, clearly thinking the same thing. What has Pansy gotten herself into now!
Showing up for the ball on the arm of Viktor Krum wasn't the only thing that stunned Harry and Ron, but apparently they discovered much to they're mutual surprise that during all Hermione's summer doing something that the muggles referred to as summer stock she had not only met, but had been preforming with the band that was the entertainment that Hogwarts had hired for the ball. The lead singer, a friend named Gwen, had just gone into labor only an hour ago. She had been requested by owl and was asked if she could perform Gwen's set. After showing the letter to Viktor and making the arrangements to continue their date after her part of the show, did she send a return owl setting down the conditions under which she could perform both duties. It was only a four song set (or three songs and one dance) depending on what was in the mind of the volunteer for the request portion as she informed Viktor.
Hermione excused herself after the first few dances and went backstage where she hugged the male lead, who she hadn't seen in quite a while. She inquired after Gwen, who she discovered to her delight had twins. A girl and a boy. Entering onto the stage, all eyes on her, she took up the two performing wands that she used when substituting for Gwen. Not unusual in wizarding shows, but a surprise to her classmates, she held both wands above her head and diagonally brought each down across her body in unison, changing her party ensemble into a sleek black body tight cat suit! Both Pansy's and Draco's jaws dropped in unison as Hermione began with the introduction of her first song, a muggle piece called "Holding out for a Hero". To those first strains she began quickly twirling her wands. One clockwise and the other counterclockwise, raising them simultaneously over her head she produced a pyrotechnic display equal to any performer they'd ever seen.
Poor Pansy thought Professor Flitwick as he looked over to see a delighted Professor McGonagal, head of Gryffindor, the house to which Hermione belonged.
Pansy, in tears, turned and buried her face in Draco's chest. Automatically Draco embraced his weep girlfriend while realizing his up and coming problem, embarrassing him terribly seeing that it was over a mudblood no less!
Her next two numbers went rather quickly and uneventfully, which Hermione was quite happy about since she wanted to resume being Viktor's date. This last number would require a volunteer so both students and staff, who had put their names into a magical hat upon their arrival for this number, her last and she was eager to get this over with. She blanched when she saw the name that appeared to her, but knew from the looks directed at her that she could change the name she had chosen.
The name was Professor Severus Snape!
Arriving on the stage, his unnerved self still well hidden by the earlier spell he had preformed on himself, was deeply sorry he had not taught the spell to Hermione, since after doing the enchantment that would be the song or dance currently in his mind for her to preform, Hermione, who after looking at the paper, started to exclaim "Sonofa…" fortunately catching herself before finishing but also realizing deatheaters who were probably spying on this affair as was the order of the phoenix. She quickly realized since Snape was clearly playing both sides against the middle, or so she believed. But what would the deatheaters consider worthy of her outburst and allow Professor Snape to continue his work?
She quickly mumbled another spell while holding her wand which was still wrapped around the piece of parchment but attempting to make it look like she was merely scratching her head with it. She was hoping nobody noticed her spelling herself, but what the paper said was on her mind left her aghast.
When Professor Snape snatched the paper away to see what she had done, she snidely sashayed past him and muttered the word bastard into his slightly stunned face as were those of the order watching through the mirror.
The Professor, snatching the paper from her, looked to see what originally had been on the paper. Surreptitiously, he turned away with a sweep of his cloak designed to keep the order that he knew was watching as well as any deatheaters which he was uncertain of from noticing him point his wand at the parchment and intone the spell, "Reveal your secrets."
Mad-Eye Moody, who was listening as well as watching the proceedings, realized as both Sirius Back and Professor Lupin had said that Hermione was "the smartest witch of her age" were quite correct. She knew what Professor Snape was doing for them and was about to "take one for the team" as it were. Other members of the order were wondering what made the girl, who seemed as closed off as Molly Weasley, cuss.
Sirius was the only one who had watched a muggle movie called "Flashdance" and therefore knew what the chair placed beside the distended chain denoted.
The original song was "Without You" from another muggle movie entitled "Rent." Severus tucked the offending piece of parchment inside his cloak intending to burn on returning to his room.
The strains of the music began as Hermione began the dance as well as to step away from the suit she had begun in. As eyebrows all around Hogwarts began to rise, both Harry and Ron seemed to feel a great unease.
Watching with anticipation, Sirius told Molly that she might not want to watch this.
Hermione then looked up, and as she arched her back, mumbled to herself, "It's too late to turn back now", took a deep breath and pulled the chain.
Back at Grimmauld Place, trying to contain the amusement in his voice, he said to the shocked assemblage, "It appears that at Hogwarts….Puberty has struck!"