Inadequate

SLASH! Don't like it? Good for you don't whine to me. Flames will be used to make shish kabobs. I don't own the HP characters or anything other than a few books that are gathering dust, don't sue me. Sorry if this has been done before yadda yadda yadda, so on and so forth. This was rushed, forgive the abruptness.

"Why?" his disbelief-filled voice was barely a whisper breaking the silence.

"It's best this way," I answer simply.

"But…" he tried to find an argument but he knew as well as I did that I was right.

Thinking it's over, I rose from my seat across from him and turned to leave, but he said something that stopped me in my tracks.

"I need you," he breathed.

I always hated it when he did that.

"He makes me feel…" he continues "inadequate. You make me feel better."

I rushed back to him, to try and sooth the tears away from his voice. I didn't touch him but I was within range of his seeking grasp. I made a mistake when I did that.

His hands found my arm, pulling me to him. His long, bony fingers entwined in my red hair and pulled me down to lean on him. And I didn't fight him.

His probing lips, lined with salty tears, crashed into mine demanding, begging for a response. After a minute--when I could feel the fear and dread careen through his body at my lack of response--I kissed him back, if only to save myself from those ice blue eyes looks at me with terror matched only by a small child who realizes they're alone in the world.

I kissed him back, matching his passion. I rose from the kneeling position his surprise grab felled me to. I stooped up so my feet were beneath me but my back was curved to allow my head to stay bent and lips plastered to his. I broke the kiss only to straddle his lap, which was awkward considering I was rather taller than him.

I crashed my lips back down on his, capturing his bottom lip between my own and nibbling and licking it the way I knew drove him wild.

His hands, his slender hands, rubbed their way up and down my thighs in a maddening slowness.

No.

I couldn't let him do this. I couldn't let him make me reconsider. It must be over between us. It isn't fair to Penelope and, by Merlin's Beard, I graduate today! Nothing could become of us!

I broke the kiss, my heart wrenching at his protests.

I took one of his hands from my thigh and placed it on my crotch, my raging hardness. "You are nothing he claims, Draco. You are magnificent. You do this to me." I brought his hand to my chest, to lie on my pounding heart. "You do this to me. Draco, no one has this effect on me. And when you finally break from that half-assed excuse of a man you call father, look me up."

And with that, I left.

I left him that day, and never spoke a single word to him since.

~*~*~

4 years later

I'm kneeling on the sopping ground, sobbing my bloody eyes out.

The news came to me while I was at home, sitting at the table to dinner. An owl swooped down to me, a rather sinister looking owl. It was from Draco. He told me what he was going to do. I grabbed the first broom I could find--which turned out to be Charlie's--and rushed to your side, hoping I wasn't too late. He followed, concerned for his precious broom's safety.

I was too late.

You had jumped from the top of your house to the ground. From the odd tilt of your head, part of my brain rationalized, you fell headfirst. Charlie must have been shocked to see me weeping, holding you to me.

I told him about us, told him about our torrid little love affair. And it was love. If it weren't, I wouldn't hurt this bad.

He just stood there, trying to comfort me and not succeeding.

And here I kneel, your lifeless body cradled in my arms. I can't cry anymore. All I can do is rock back and forth with you in my arms. I suppose I left the note on the table and someone in my family read it because Bill came. I remember everything you wrote.

Percy my love,

I have finally broken from my parents. But you would hate what I have become. I killed them because Voldemort told me to. I sicken myself and I must sicken you. If I sicken you, I can't live with myself. I love you Percy. Remember me. I still love you.

Draco

You dolt! You stupid shit brain! Of course I loved you I never stopped loving you! You never sickened me, never could. Love knows no bounds.

Not even death will keep my love from you.