Author's Note: Please know that I do not own Labyrinth (much as I wish I did), and that I found out about it from a very good friend and roommate of mine. This is my first story, written rather as a way to let off steam and take out my anger on the laws of physics, so I apologize for the wordiness ahead of time. I hope you enjoy it and do not find it too silly or containing too much physics to turn you off.

Chapter 1: Introduction

"Welcome to Physics 250. We fully intend to work you just as hard as you work to push a box up an eighty-nine degree-angled ramp."

This was not an auspicious start, not at all. Drat it.

As a senior English major at the local community college, Sarah Williams was most seriously displeased. After surviving one biology class of the two required natural sciences classes to graduate, she was stuck. All of her other classes, from creative writing to journalism, had been great. One day, she would be a famous children's author, so why on earth did she have to take two science classes? Two! The famous author who wouldn't do math, or at least, not willingly, who now couldn't do physics? It would not do.

Her only reason for taking this class was simple: biology bored her to death, and chemistry stole your soul. That left only physics. Luckily, she had found a class with less math and more theory. She could do that, she thought. Perhaps not.

Once again, Sarah found herself repeating that ever famous mantra of her youth, "You have no power over me." If she could defeat the Goblin King, certainly she could conquer the laws of physics. How hard could they be?

Unfortunately, the laws of physics played with her brain the same way the goblins played, creating havoc and destruction everywhere they went. Not to say that the goblins were terrible by any means. To the contrary, for several years she had maintained a steady relationship with her friends, talking to Ludo and others whenever she had problems in school, until college. It was then that she finally put away her childish fancies to move onto the real world of worries. Which was why she decided to be a children's author. Then at least she could still remember her friends, in different ways.

The only problem with thinking of her friends came when she remembered the other important person related to them, the Goblin King. She preferred not to think of him whenever possible. Ever since then, she had set impossible standards for all of her boyfriends, resulting in very few of them, all still childish and silly. All of her friends and family complained about her lack of boyfriends, though it was not really bad until her dad began making references to "little feet running around", at which she said he should adopt. She didn't need anyone to complete her; she was quite happy single, thank you very much. The men were all the same to her; the only time she had tried something completely different was an athlete at the beginning of college, but, unfortunately, his cockiness and general demeanor reminded her too much of Him, besides his other, cough, attributes. Nice, but still not as good, figuratively and physically. Just thinking of him made her blush. She was no longer so foolish to ignore his earlier pleas, but was far too proud to ever admit feelings for him. After all, he had stolen her brother, set the cleaners and goblin army on her, and had given her very dangerous fruit that she no longer even dared to eat, lest she have even more of the recurring dreams she already had. She had always liked peaches; now she eyed each of them like they were sent to spy on her. Not that he would want to spy on her; he probably had a beautiful fae queen to love him now. Drat him for invading too many of her thoughts!

Which all still left her at the end of her college career, her last semester, and being forced to take a class that threatened to make her as bad off as a firey, and even less coherent. She could see it now, running about trying to find her brain/head as it rattled off among all of the complicated physics mumbo-jumbo. Even Sir Didymus couldn't help her now.

Worse, her lecturer was dull, had a monotone, and had something close to an obsessive relationship with physics. It couldn't be right or normal. She sat there, somewhere close to the front to prevent herself from falling asleep, which worked to a degree. The problem was, she still wanted to be far away from the general overview she was being offered if she continued to stay. Where's a goblin when you need one?

Her lecturer could be heard droning on, "Yes, so we will be starting with the ever important aspects of mechanics, which I know you are all tired of seeing again and again, but without this basic knowledge and background, you will not be ready for the rest of the course, where we will go into electricity, magnetism, and some quantum mechanics. Just hearing those topics, doesn't your brain just jump at the chance to learn so much more about the many laws of physics? Your brain will never be the same."

Sure, her brain jumped. Right into the nearest hole to not want to come back out again until the end of the semester. The last thing she needed was for her brain to be permanently damaged by physics, which it certainly was, based on the way he talked. Permanent babble about random physics she didn't understand, oh the fodder for a children's book! She could just see the possibilities of watching the goblins testing every object to see if it would be attracted to a magnet or not. Which actually could be quite amusing, assuming they didn't get bogged in the process. Every inch of area scoured and touched by a magnet, exclaiming "Look! It likes it!" and being surrounded by impressed goblins.

However, such thoughts did not long continue, as her professor, in seeing the general disinterest in his audience, and being quite depressed by the lack of interest, began varying his pitch briefly, to draw people back. In addition, he found himself feeling better about giving them the large assignment he had originally planned. They would soon pay such close interest; he would have people standing outside, begging to come inside to listen to him talk about such awesome and mind-blowing topics.

Just to mix things up, he decided that it would be a good idea to gauge his students' knowledge, and seeing a rather distracted, and yet brilliant Sarah (for she looked at the ceiling, but was smiling, certainly interested in what he had to say), he decided to give her another chance, and so called on her. "Now, can you (pointing to Sarah) tell me what you think of when you hear the word physics?" He was quite excited to hear her mention something related to what he had just been saying, that physics could explain all of the world's problems, so he was rather surprised by her response.

She, feeling rather guilty for being distracted, considered the question briefly. Unfortunately, the only thing she could think of were magical goblins letting apples hit their heads to test gravity, so she did the best she could, saying "Well, when I think of physics, I think of apples hitting people's heads."

Which was true, to an extent, if you stretched the truth a little, and said that goblins were people, who happened to be rather rowdy, dumb, and short. She said it with a smile, in hopes of not dooming herself to being disliked for all eternity. Luckily for her, he liked her smile, and as it helped him transition to his next topic, he was grateful and pleased that she was so ready to continue learning.

"Interesting perspective, Miss…..?"

"Williams. Sarah Williams."

"Indeed, Miss Williams, and which leads me to my next topic of discussion, the omnipotence of gravity…..."