Sirius POV

"I don't know if I can do this," Remus said, gripping my hand tighter as we made our way down the winding streets of Godric's Hollow.

There were leaves on the pavement and shadows everywhere. It was almost 5:00 am on November 3rd, three days since my two best friends in the world were- well I tried not to think about it as I held Remus' hand. I felt numb at this point, everything was small and far away. At least Hagrid and Dumbledore had Harry. Harry, another thing that was taken from us. I couldn't be his godfather while he was with Lily's sister. Thinking of all of this made my throat tighten and I thought I might punch something as we turned the corner to the town square where three days earlier Harry, James and I had walked across to by candy for Halloween. No, I shouldn't think about that either.

"Remus-" I started but didn't know what I was going to say, "Dumbledore-he took them, he took them away. I think maybe we should just see it. We don't have to stay, but I want to-" Remus stopped walking hearing my voice waver. He turned toward me and took my face in his soft hands.

"We'll do it together then," Remus said softly, but still his voice was hoarse. I nodded and we set off again. We turned onto their street and there it was. Their little cottage was mostly a shell. Everything was burned and scattered across the little lawn. One thing I didn't expect was the flowers that covered the gate and fences. They carried notes which said things like "Win this war for the Potters!" or "Rest In Peace: Lily and James Forever!" It didn't feel real, that they were gone. I couldn't get much closer to the house, but Remus went through the gate and began to look around at the rubble. Even in the dark, I could see the shoulders of his jacket trembling, crying. He didn't want me to see, we didn't want to believe it. The air still smelled like smoke and I felt a few raindrops on my head. Fitting, everything should be dark. I watched Remus poke around, his slender frame moving in the dark. The full moon was on Halloween this month, so he's stiff as he walks around partly from the moon's leftover scars and partly from the fact he's walking around the rubble of our best friend's home. He suddenly kneels down, almost falling over and I force myself closer to the house. "Remus?" I whisper like I'm going to wake something inside the house. Not anymore.

The rain really starts and I push past the gate to kneel next to him. He wraps his arm under my leather jacket and he presses his face into my shoulder. I light my wand to see what Remus was looking at. There is a note in Lily's loopy writing on top of a photo album. I recognize the album, Remus put it together for Lily and James' one year anniversary. It was full of old school memorabilia and wedding pictures. I tried to read the note but it was scribbled and running from the rain. I could make out most of it:

Dear Harry, I hope you grow up happy and cared for. I hope you find good friends like your Dad and I have, I hope Sirius and Remus take care of you. Sometimes life will be hard and I wish we could be there for you but if not, know Harry that you are loved. We love you so much. Remember that there is so much light in this world, even when it seems like there is none to be found. Live, live for us. I love you.

-Mom

I realized halfway through the letter I didn't want to read it. It wasn't for me. I just pulled Remus closer and let the rain wash over everything. The house, my jacket, Remus and I.

After a while, the rain slowed and the sun peaked out from the houses Remus lifted his head, "Why couldn't we take Harry? Did Dumbledore say why? Vold-he-he's gone." His voice faded.

I took a deep breath before answering, "His followers aren't and Peter is still missing. Harry's gonna be safer with the muggles. Peter ,however, when they find him, I swear to god I pull him apart-"

"Don't say that. You're not going to hurt him. He'll go to Azkaban or better yet have what's left of his soul sucked out," Remus paused and shook his head, "but James wouldn't want you to become a murder. I don't either. Besides, only Dumbledore, McGonagall, you and I know about Peter."

I gave him a little kiss on the side of the head, "I know. I'm not going to do anything stupid. For them."

We sat like that for a moment longer, letting the sun creep up and turn the sky pink. After another few minutes, I stand.

"Here," I say helping him up, "We should get some coffee or something."

"Sounds good," Remus attempts a shaky smile and takes one last glance at the house. I take his hand and begin walking. I can't make myself look back.

"Should we go to that coffee place Lily likes?" Remus says as we turn out of the street. He pauses and we both notice it, the present tense. Like they could pop in at any moment with Harry and we could all forget this ever happened.

I don't mention it, "Sure, do you think they sell any firewhiskey?" Only half joking. He doesn't respond, just holds my hand a little tighter.

We're almost to the square when Remus starts to chuckle.

"What are you laughing at?" I say a little surprised but glad of the distraction.

"Do you remember that Valentine's Day? 6th year? James was so keen on Lily and was trying so hard to get her to go out with him," Remus chuckles again, "And we were sneaking around."

"My god, I completely forgot. That seems like a million years ago. Remember James had broken his elbow and oh my gosh- on Sunday night he…

James rushed through the door of our dorm and threw his bag down onto his bed. "Fellas, I need your help." He wiped his glasses on his shirt and threw them back on. He had this look in his that meant only one things, fun for us and probably trouble for someone else.

I quickly lifted myself from my bed, "What 'cha need Prongs?"

James began pacing, "It's not a prank so you slow your roll. Valentine's Day is coming and I want to ask Lily out. Properly, with flare!" He jumped onto his bed, "I want her to have to say yes!"

I laughed, "Oh god James, she's got you on a leash." I joked.

"Sirius please, I really like her, "He flopped down onto the bed, "I've never done this before and-"

"Ok, I'll help. We'll all help. Remus is like proper friends with her now, so we can ask him. He'd be good at this stuff anyway."

"Speaking of Remus," Jame sat up and looked at me trying to hide a smile.

I sat down on my bed, ignoring my stomach which for some reason decided to sink to the floor, "What? What about Remus?"

"We need to get him a girlfriend. Martin said that Eliza has a crush on him," James looked at me and we both started laughing our heads off. Eliza Conway had a habit of sticking her want behind her ear and singing songs to fairies that lived in the woods. But that wasn't why I said, "Nah she's too good for him. I cannot imagine Remus with a girlfriend anyway. She'd be mad he reads too much."

James chuckled, "Probably. Hey, but what about you?" He had that stupid grin on face.

"What about me?"

"Padfoot, there isn't anyone special? Anyone you've got your eye on? No one pawing at your heart?"

Yes, there is. "Oh shut up with the animal puns," I rolled my eyes, "No, there's no one good enough for all this." I whipped my long hair around and James fake gagged.

"C'mon Pads we're should go down to dinner."

We made our way out the dorm room and went down the stairs. As we were about to leave the common room Lily walked in and for the first time in a while she was alone.

"Hey Lily!" James said a little too loud.

"James, hey sorry." She wiped her eyes and then saw me, "Sirius."

I bowed, "Princess." She rolled her eyes, but I could tell she wanted to smile.

James elbowed me in the ribs my cue to go, "Aren't you coming down to dinner? He smiled running his hands through hair and I hadn't noticed it before, but I could have sworn Lily blushed. I didn't hear her reply as I made my way out of the common room and down the corridor. I turned and bumped right into Remus.

He dropped the book he was holding, "I'm so sorry, I didn't- oh it's you," he laughed.

"Don't sound so disappointed," I smiled, "C'mere!" I grabbed his waist and pushed him against the wall which happened to be a door to a classroom. I turned the handle and pushed him inside.

"Sirius what are you-" He laughed but the second the classroom door closed I took his head in my hands and kissed him. Remus smiled into the kiss and pulled me closer. I put one hand on the small of his back and the other on his neck. Remus took his hands from around me and up into my shaggy hair. After a long moment, he broke away, "You can't just kiss whenever you want," He sighed but then smiled.

I raised my eyebrows, "Can't I?" I tugged on his sweater and he put his hands around my neck. I paused and looked into his eyes, usually they were green but now they looked grey. I gave him a light kiss and said, "The moon is tomorrow right?"

He nodded, "How can you always tell?"

"I always know, I have magic powers." I couldn't look away form his eyes.

"Ha-ha," He rolled his eyes, "Also, we've got to be careful. Not that I mind all this, but-"

"I know, I know, but how can I help it when you're so damn cute?" I put my hands around his waist.

"I'm serious," Remus took a small step back.

"No, I am," I joked wanting him to smile again. He raised an eyebrow at me. I sighed, "I know I'm sorry. I wish I could kiss you in front of everyone."

Remus nodded, "I wish we could hold hands and not jump when we hear anyone. I wish you could keep your arm around me when we're in the common room-" I let go of his waist and take his hand. "I wish we could tell James and even Peter."

I take a deep breath and try not to think about what my mom would say if I told her about Remus, "I think you're right. Sneaking around is fun but-"

"It's not the same." He nods.

"Aren't you scared," I break from his eyes, "At all?"

He pushed a strand of hair out of my eyes, "Obviously, but I wouldn't say anything unless we agreed and if I wasn't sure-"

My heart was beating hard, I could feel it pounding my rib cage. Damn it. I might be in love with him. I force myself to ask, "Sure about what?"

Remus blushed, "You, you idiot," He leaned in and kissed me gently. While he kissed me, he took my hands and placed them on his waist again. Right then the door opened behind and Regulus burst into the room. Shit.