Kyoko often thinks of them as the three tragic heroines. Of all the men in the world — in the school — they fell for three of them that could never bring them a normal happiness.
When the boys left for Italy, and her brother a few months later, she cried. Not only her, but the other two as well. Hana was always a strong woman, but even she could not bear to see the man she loved in danger. Haru refused to cry when they left, keeping the smile that she always wore, but Kyoko knows she broke down the moment she was home alone.
So Kyoko thinks that she and her two best friends were probably the most idiotic girls in all of Japan. Yet, even if all three of them knew that moving on would have been the best choice, they simply couldn't give up the love they had. Kyoko, Hana and Haru desperately clung to their love, despite finally knowing what was really going on in the boys' lives.
It breaks their hearts with every moment of living in that truth, but they cannot turn away from the illusion of a happy future. Kensuke-kun despises the boys for it.
Kyoko can't let go of her love. Neither can Haru or Hana. So they are stuck, unable to move forward, in Japan, where they pray that the boys they love will one day return home.
Kyoko knows, though, that the boys will not come home again. They will not force the girls that they love as well to choose between impossible things.
What the boys do not account for is the amount of love that the girls hold for them.
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"Kyoko, Haru. I've decided to make a trip to Italy." Hana says this one day, when the three of them are having coffee after university classes.
"What…? But…" Haru looks at her, her eyes shocked and fearful.
Hana clenches her knuckles until they're white. "I know, Haru. But I need to see him. I need to see for myself if what we've established as a couple is truly worth fighting for."
Kyoko frowns at her, clutching her coffee cup tighter. "Hana-chan… you know onii-san isn't going to like you doing that."
"I know he won't. That's why I'm going to see him. I love him, Kyoko. But I'm tired of waiting. I can't be stuck here waiting aimlessly for something that just won't come. This isn't something I can run away from. I need to see him."
Haru and Kyoko fall silent. They know she's right. That they're only running away by waiting here. They're also a little envious: they don't have her courage, nor her determination to face the burden of a choice that the boys had left them.
Even though one day, they'll have to make the choice themselves.
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Hana's love is nothing glimmering, nor fantastical, nor beautiful. Her life isn't a shoujo manga. Ryohei is not her prince charming; he isn't perfect, and he's not her saviour. And Hana's not the innocent, big-hearted heroine either. They are who they are: imperfect halves of people that found their "wholes" with each other.
It's not a shoujo manga, but for once, she prays that it was. She knew Ryohei's background with the Sawada kid before they dated, but then, she didn't think it mattered. What mattered was that she loved him, and he loved her. She didn't understand why he was so stuck up on that one point.
"Hana, please, don't answer me right away. Please, think about it," He had told her, his eyes dull and worried after she had confessed to him.
She had only clicked her tongue. "It's a yes or no answer, Ryohei. I love you. You being a mafia man doesn't change that. You don't do illegal things, do you?"
"No! But that doesn't mean it's any less dangerous."
"Then it doesn't matter. Unless you simply don't love me that way."
She didn't realize then what had made him irritated.
"Hana… I do love you. That's not going to change. I told you that before. But it's because I love you that I can't drag you down with me."
"I don't care! If you love me, then don't make it sound like you're dumping me!"
Ryohei only turned his head away then, unable to look her in the eye.
She had stepped in, cradling his head in her palms.
"Don't make our love seem so weak. We can weather this out. Even if you need to go to Italy. We'll be fine, as long as we're together, Ryohei. Believe in me. Believe in us."
He had nodded then, tears welling up. He had hugged her, and apologized over and over as she patted his back and gave him comforting kisses.
Hana regrets now for pushing him so hard back then to be with her. Because now, it's tearing both them apart. So much that she wants to end this relationship.
She loves him. She still does. But she cannot keep this going any longer. She is torn longing for a man halfway across the world, in a place where she cannot be. She doesn't want to be his weakness. Which is why she finally works up the courage to see him personally in Italy, where she will find for herself if this love is worth her risking the rest of her life.
Hana Kurokawa does not waver when she walks through the airport gates.
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In the week that Hana is in Italy, Kyoko and Haru do not meet. The both of them are too afraid to face the choice that lingers in the air. They do not want to be reminded at all of what is waiting for them in the future.
Kyoko does not talk with her brother that week. She's too afraid of what Hana's answer will be. She believes that it will affect what her own answer would be, so she does not want to know.
So like she has been doing this whole time, she waits.
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When Hana arrives at the airport, she does not expect anyone to welcome her. She doesn't want anyone to.
But, with life's unexpectedness, the person she least wants to wait for her here is the one that comes. She curses him then, because he must have asked for time off of work with Sawada to see her.
He stands there, a tired smile in the distance. He doesn't run up to greet her; instead waiting patiently as she drags herself to meet him. He's changed. He is taller, stronger, broader. His white hair longer; a fringe hangs above his scar. He doesn't wear a suit, but he doesn't need one to look dashing. He's grown terribly handsome.
Hana hates him for it.
"You came." She says, her face mirthless.
He gives her an apologetic smile in response. "I did."
She sighs. "I thought you would be angry with this."
He only laughs. "I am. I don't want you here, where you aren't safe. Where I don't have enough power to protect you."
Hana doesn't answer his statement, her gaze turning to the floor as they walked. She knew that he still loved her. She wasn't here to question that.
"Hana. Let's find somewhere to talk."
She doesn't look up, but she nods.
Ryohei takes her suitcase from her and leads her out of the airport. They walk the rest of the way out in silence.
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He takes her to a café a ten minute drive away from the airport. It's small and quiet; a place she wouldn't usually associate with him. They begin the first few minutes in silence too, sipping their drinks as they think of what to say.
He speaks first. "Hana. I'm… not going to tell you to stay with me. You're free to go where you wish. I'm not confident I can give you the happiness I thought I could give you before."
Hana places her coffee mug down and forces herself to look at him. He's looking at her in earnest, his eyes tired and lifeless. He's obviously hurting, but he keeps a gentle smile on his face.
She wants to cry when she sees that expression. So much she can't respond to his words. So he continues.
"Hana… Break up with me."
She expects these words. She really did. Rather, most of her wanted to hear this. This would be the best, the most mature, choice for the both of them.
For some reason though, she shakes. Her heart twists uncontrollably, and her fingers grow cold.
"Ryohei…?"
He gives her another heart-wrenching smile and repeats the words. "Hana, let's break up."
"...no." It's a quiet response; one that shocks herself as much as it did him. She could see his confused expression, and she doesn't miss the flash of hope in his eyes.
She came here to Italy to break up with him. This was what was supposed to happen. But…
"No."
Her heart doesn't let her. All she sees then is of him: the times they spent together, the extremeness and maturity he only ever let her see, the light as it shone on his handsome face as he smiled. All she can think of is how she got over her hatred of kids because of him, how she gave up running after the hot cow-print shirt man (which she found out eventually was the cow-brat) for him; everything that changed in her because of him.
And for some reason, she doesn't want to let go. Then she sees that, for once, the mature answer isn't her answer.
She wipes her tears, and turns her head to face him directly. Shock is still plastered on his face, along with bewilderment and fear.
"No. I'm not going to break up with you."
His jaw left hanging open. "...why?"
Hana clenches fistfuls of her skirt as she builds up the courage to answer him. She had come here to end things with him. She had prepared herself throughout the entire flight to leave him; and yet, when he gave her those words, and that smile of understanding, she broke. She couldn't break up with him.
"Because I know… I can't move on even if we did. And I love you, Ryohei. I don't want to leave you."
Ryohei puts his face in his palms, fingers pulling his hair. "Hana… this isn't like you. This is not the mature answer you would've given."
She bites her lip. "I know, Ryohei. But for once, I don't want to be an adult. For once, I want to be that petty schoolgirl, and choose the one thing I know I won't regret. I want to follow what the voice inside tells me, not what my rational thought does."
Ryohei is in tears now, crying just like he did four years ago when she confessed to him. And she comforts him just like she did then; moving to wrap him in her arms, stroking his hair and patting his back, crying with him.
And just like that, she finds her answer.
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The three girls meet up three days after Hana returns to Japan.
"I'm not giving up on Ryohei. I'm going to go to Italy."
Both Kyoko and Haru look at her dubiously, shocked. This was not the answer they expected the rational, realistic Hana to have.
"I know what you're thinking. But this is the choice I've made. I found a job in Italy, too. I'm going to live with him. My parents already approved. It's a well-paying job there anyway; and they know Ryohei's got a good salary too."
Kyoko fiddles with her fingers. "That's not the… point, Hana."
"I know it isn't. But there isn't a point to begin with, Kyoko. You're brother is the only man I will ever be with. I know that for certain. We, as cheesy as it sounds, complete each other. I can't live in a world without him."
Haru and Kyoko only smile when she says that. They know that Hana and Ryohei would be fine in the battlefield of the mafia. They're the strongest couple in the world.
The stalemate is broken then, and Haru returns to her usual self; teasing Hana with her future life.
"So, is Hana-chan going to be the first out of us to wear a white dress? Gosh, does Haru ever hope so!" She teases, smiling brightly.
Hana only smirks in return, flexing her hand. There's a slight blush on her cheeks as the other two girls gasp when they see the silver band that shines on her ring finger.
"He proposed."
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Haru goes home that day lost in thought. She remembers how relieved, how happy Hana seemed to be, as she looked at her ring. Haru's happy for her. She doesn't doubt that Hana will get the happiness that she deserves; she's strong enough to weather any storm.
That only leads her to think of her own flawed love. Her love isn't proud like Hana's. She waits for two people, not one — as much as she despises herself for doing so. She hates herself every time for dating Takeshi; despite the both of them knowing that he's only Plan B.
"It's fine, Haru-chan. I told you I don't mind being behind Tsuna. I'd put myself behind Tsuna too." He had told her, his regular boyish grin wide on his face.
She wants to murder her past self for accepting. She wants to murder her present self too; there's still a small part of her that wants to be with Tsuna, even though he'll never be hers.
If Haru could confidently say that she was completely head-over-heels in love with Yamamoto Takeshi, she would've been in Italy since long ago. She's a girl that follows her heart, and she's not afraid of losing to the evil that stands against them.
But she can't say it confidently, so she's still in Japan, pondering over the man she deeply regrets being with. Takeshi is not like Ryohei; he's much more determined. He won't try to keep his distance just to keep her safe. He knows full well that she can defend herself (after all, she practiced martial arts and flames with Bianchi-san behind their backs); he believes in her strength completely. Takeshi is the exact boyfriend she imagined: the tall, handsome man that would let her fight alongside him as an equal.
Yet it's because he's her perfect fit that she holds back being with him. Because she won't be fair to him when she still lingers over her middle school dream of a future with Tsunayoshi. She thinks Takeshi knows this too; so he doesn't reach out to her from Italy.
He had told her moments before leaving on the plane to then; that he would wait for her.
"Haru, I'll be waiting. When you're ready, come." And then he had hugged her and kissed her on her forehead, with a smile to seal their promise.
Four years ago, she had beamed at him and promised him she'll be there with him soon.
Now, she is less than sure. The more Takeshi is away, and the more Hana and Kyoko talk about their adult-like ponderings and choices, she thinks herself naive for giving Takeshi a hope that may never be true.
With Takeshi gone and far from her life, she begins to long for him more than ever. Her feelings for him only grow, which was why she got only ever more troubled. She treasures him, and wants him to be truly happy; not stuck with a girl that may never give him all of her love.
She's torn by her own selfishness. She doesn't want to see Takeshi. It will only give him more false hope. But she knows she needs an answer. Hana braved through her choice; now it was Haru's turn.
She pulls her cellphone out, and dials a number she vowed never to punch in.
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Kyoko congratulates her brother over the phone. She's really happy for him and Hana; they are, after all, two of the most important people in her life. She promises them to be there for the wedding.
However, where Hana has solved her problems, Kyoko's only get worse. She's more than torn at herself now. She wants to be like Hana; selfless, courageous, determined. But she isn't. She can't simply give up her life in Japan for love. She's not brave enough to walk into a life of danger just to be with a man.
Kyoko's disgusted at herself. She's always put herself before others, building a face of a caring girl for the people around her. Even though she's the most flawed of them all. She stays in Japan not for the better of both of their lives, nor because she has other people she loves, but because she treasures her own life more than anything else.
She's not happy when Tsuna isn't with her. She feels empty and cold inside without his smile and loving gaze. But she wants to live more than she wants happiness.
And more than all, she wants Tsuna to be hers alone, which will never happen. Tsuna is the home to many people, she knows. His love will never be for just her; it will always be shared with all the members of his beloved Vongola. She understands that. She knows that the desperate people need Tsuna's love more than her. So she chooses to find other people to be with.
She tries to find boyfriends in her university, at her workplace, in her neighbourhood. But no one catches her eye; not when the man she fell in love with first was the most loving, kindest man in the world.
Kyoko loves Tsuna, but she also loathes him for giving her such high standards for happiness. She's disgusted that she's nothing but a coward.
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"...Haru?"
The Vongola Decimo's voice is synthetic and fake over the phone. Haru takes a deep breath.
"Tsuna-san? Haru… Haru wants to talk to you about something."
She could hear his voice hitch on the other side.
"Go ahead."
She lets out a huff, and brings her courage to say the words she's wanted to say since middle school.
"Tsuna-san, do you love me?"
It is quiet for a while, and the silence is suffocating as Haru waits for an answer.
The Decimo sighs. "Yes, Haru. Yes, I do. But not in the way Takeshi loves you."
Haru nods. "Not ever?"
"Not once. You were always like a sister to me, Haru. I loved you, but not the way you wanted me to." Tsuna's voice is quiet, soft, as he says the words.
She smiles softly. There's a slight clenching in her chest, but it's not terrible. This was it, then.
"Thank you, Tsuna-san. I'm… I'm sorry."
On the other side of the phone, Tsuna smiles. He doesn't miss that she drops her third-person speech.
"Of course, Haru. Please… take your time."
"I will."
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Five months later, Hana and Ryohei are married in Japan. It was a long process to find time in Ryohei's schedule, but Tsuna, being Tsuna, forces time for the ceremony. Haru has never seen her friend so happy in her years of knowing her. Kyoko too, with tears in her eyes as she smiles and dances with her parents.
Her friend finds happiness in the place she wants, and Haru finds it beautiful.
And she knows it will be her turn next. She's ready. After five long months, she's ready. She goes to see Tsuna one last time before doing so though, pulling him away from the ceremony.
She tells him her choice. There's a flash of fear in his eyes, but also a sense of relief. He squeezes her hand and wishes her good luck.
"Takeshi is a good man. And I know you're strong enough to stand with him." He smiles at her knowingly.
Haru giggles. And here she thought she kept her combat training a secret. She wonders when he found out. That matters little though.
"Haru knows."
He gives her a hug, and turns back to the party. She gives him another thank you before rushing into Takeshi's waiting arms.
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Another month later, and Haru tells Kyoko she's going to live in Italy. Kyoko isn't shocked; she knew Haru wouldn't stay put in Japan anyway.
But that meant that she was all alone. Alone to face her future, alone to make her choice.
What makes it worse is that her romance is nothing like Hana's or Haru's. She cannot have her loved one all to herself. Tsunayoshi is not hers alone. Her romance will always be second to his love for family, and she's still not sure if she can accept that as happiness.
Hana tells her to follow her heart. "Do what you think is right, Kyoko. Happiness is different for everyone. Don't make a choice just to keep up appearances."
Haru tells her to take her time. "It's okay Kyoko-chan. Take your time to think it out. All decisions need to be thought over."
Neither advice does Kyoko think she could use. Neither way of doing things was her way of doing things. She can't follow her heart; she'll just worry more. She can't take her time; she stresses more when she does.
She needs to find her own answer. She's known that for a long time, but still she's scared. Scared to make mistakes. Scared to regret her choice later.
It's when her worries pile up uncontrollably and reach the breaking point does she cave and reach her answer. She needs to speak with Tsuna. Like Hana, she believes that only seeing the man himself will give her the answer she needs. But, like Haru, she waits for Tsuna to come to Japan. She does not yet have Hana's courage to go herself to see him in Italy, where all the problems stem from.
Her chance comes when Tsuna makes a family visit to see his mother and the three kids that were still in school.
She takes it.
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They meet at the café that Haru, Hana and her always go to. He is quiet and calm, not pressuring her to say anything. He waits, just like Takeshi waited for Haru.
She tries hard not to blush. He's grown terribly handsome, in great contrast to what everyone in middle school expected him to be like in his adult years.
She inhales and exhales a deep breath before speaking.
"Tsuna-kun, I want you to be frank with me; do you love me romantically?"
She asks what Haru asks, and Tsuna can't help but be startled by the speed in which the conversation turns to.
It takes him several moments to build up courage to confess the response he's spent years hiding from her.
"...I do. I always did. Even now." He looks at her, showing his sincerity.
Kyoko tries harder to keep the blush and giddiness from overflowing. "Then do you want me to be with you?"
Tsuna sighs. "I didn't, because I feared you would be victim to the madness of the mafia, but lately Takeshi and Ryohei are making me think different. Haru and Hana are still in danger, but they grow stronger to protect them, and they still lead their lives in happiness. So, I'm not sure anymore. I don't know if I want you to be with me."
Kyoko gives him a sympathetic smile. "I guess you could be a little selfish too, Tsuna-san."
He smiles back at her. "I suppose I could be. Guess Reborn pounded that in me too."
They laugh at that, and for moments, the world seemed to be normal again, the two of them free from the shackles of their circumstances.
When it's time for him to leave, Kyoko asks a bold question. "Will you wait for me, Tsuna-san? Until I can give you an answer?"
Tsuna embraces her, pulling her into his chest. "Of course."
Kyoko loves Tsuna; she doesn't doubt that. And she knows she doesn't want to give up on him. But she also values herself, and she knows she needs to find her balance before making her choice.
Tsuna knows that too, so he promises her eternity in time, and tells her to be happy.
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"Ryohei! Hurry up! We're going to be late!"
"Daddy, hurry up!"
"Okay, okay! Coming!" Ryohei says, tightening his tie. Hana waits at the door, hands on her hips, unamused. Their daughter strikes the same pose, pouting in imitation of her mother.
Ryohei smiles as he pulls himself towards the door.
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"Haru, please be careful." Takeshi's eyebrows are scrunched in worry.
His wife only laughs, rubbing her round midsection. "Don't worry, this weighs nothing! Don't fuss. It's only been four months!"
Takeshi sighs. "Yes, but…"
"But we'll be late if you don't hurry up, Takeshi-kun. And weren't you supposed to help Hayato-kun with preparations?"
"...Yeah, but…"
"Then let's go!"
He's still terrified of his wife's recklessness, but he can't help but smile.
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The two couples make it on time to the hall. The ceremony begins beautifully. Tsuna's Guardians are all present, along with the Varia on guard duty and the other allied family bosses sitting as invitees.
Tsuna himself stands on the podium, waiting. He is dressed well today, a clean suit to go with the occasion. He stands obviously excited, squirming despite Hayato's gestures to stay still. The people who know him well try hard to hold their laughs in.
The wait ends when Kyoko comes in, pulled along by her father down the aisle. Haru huffs, whispering rapidly to her husband how beautiful she is in that elegant white dress. Takeshi only nods, along with Chrome beside them.
Kyoko walks to the stage, placing her hand in Tsuna's waiting ones. She looks at him. He's smiling gently at her, eyes loving, as he closes his fingers around her hands. She's blissful, knowing that even if she cannot have all his love, she will have enough for them to be happy.
They wait for the priest's words as they gaze at each other. And finally, the words are said, and they swear their love, and the crowd erupts in cheers. Tsuna kisses her then, gently and lovingly, as he loses his patience. Kyoko lets him.
Ryohei and Hana cry, along with the rest of the guests. But in moments after they break apart from their kisses, Kyoko catches the eyes of her two best friends.
And the three of them smile, the most beautiful that they've ever been.