Kurt wasn't entirely sure how he ended up dating the human equivalent of a garbage disposal, but he had long ago given up trying to figure out the why's and how's of his relationship with Blaine Anderson, he'd also given up on his attempts to change his boyfriends eating habits. He'd quickly realized when they first started dating that the younger boy had no problem with the tiny bit of pudge around his middle, and really Kurt didn't either, so he'd let the subject drop. They'd been through just about everything together at this point; bullies, a long distance relationship, college, Blaine's freshman fifteen, and that horrible moment right after their graduations when they'd both been so scared they wouldn't be able to find jobs in New York City. However, Blaine's first time going to a buffet was one thing Kurt just wasn't sure he could handle witnessing. Kurt still wasn't sure how his boyfriend had gone twenty-seven years without ever going to one, but when Finn found out he'd explained them to Blaine as being 'heaven on earth', Kurt had known then that it would only be matter of time until his boyfriend was drug to one.
Finn and Blaine had made plans and Kurt had graciously turned down the offer to join them, claiming that he needed some 'bonding time' with Rachel and thanking his lucky stars that it turned out that she was even less enthusiastic about buffets than he was. They made their own plans for sushi and drinks that night, going about their business and not giving a second thought to their respective boyfriends as they gossiped about anything and everything. It was just after ten o'clock at night when Kurt finally let himself into his and Blaine's apartment, his thoughts of hot showers and satin bed sheets interrupted by a muffled groan. Kurt flicked on the living room light before making his way over to his boyfriend, who was lying in a heap on their couch, fighting a smile as he ran a hand through Blaine's tousled curls.
"Blaine?" Kurt questioned, amusement clear in his voice as he crouched down so that he was level with the other man.
Blaine let out another muffled groan before turning to face his boyfriend, a pained look on his face, "I don't think I've ever eaten that much in my life", He murmured, "And I don't think I ever will again."
Kurt stifled a laugh as he leaned in to place a kiss on Blaine's cheek, "Sweetie, I don't mean to be rude, but you say that at least once a month."
"I mean it this time", He mumbled, "I swear, I'm never eating again."
"Okay, hon, whatever you say", Kurt giggled, taking the hand that was hanging over the edge of their couch and giving it a squeeze, "How about we get you up from this couch and into your pajamas, I think you'll feel a whole lot better one you're comfortable.
Blaine whimpered pathetically, "But it hurts just to think about moving", He pouted.
"I'm pretty sure it's the couch that's making you hurt, not thinking", Kurt replied, kissing the back of the hand he was holding, "This thing was made more for looking at, not laying on. You're jeans probably aren't helping anything either", He trailed off before adding, "What time did you get home?"
"A little before nine", He whispered, wincing pitifully as he rolled onto his side, "Will you rub my tummy", Blaine asked, fixing his boyfriend with his best pout.
Kurt chuckled softly, just barely suppressing an eye roll, "Only if you come to bed first", He answered, pressing another kiss to Blaine's cheek before moving to stand up, "I'll even lay your pj's out on the bed."
With that, Kurt made his way towards their bedroom, pulling out his own silk pajama set before digging around for Blaine's favorite pair old sweats, putting his own dislike of them aside in favor of his boyfriends comfort. He set them on the bed, just like he said he would and then he took the decorative pillows off and turned down the covers before he made his way towards the bathroom, deciding to put his hot shower off until morning and starting on his nightly skin care. He smiled to himself as he heard Blaine shuffle into the room and the small sigh of relief he heard just before his boyfriends jeans were tossed across the room towards their laundry hamper. When he finally exited the bathroom, he found Blaine sprawled out, on his back, in the middle of their bed, a slight grimace still on his face.
"More comfortable?', Kurt asked as he climbed into bed, propping himself up on an elbow as he looked at his boyfriend.
Blaine sighed, his eyes slipping open to meet Kurt's, "A little", He said quietly, "Still can't get comfortable", He pouted.
"I'm sorry", Kurt shifted closer, pushing a stray curl off Blaine's forehead, "Belly rub?" He asked.
"Yes, plea-oooh", Blaine trailed off as Kurt began making small circles on his tummy.
"What in the world did you eat", Kurt wondered aloud as he smoothed a hand over his boyfriend's bloated stomach, "You know what, I don't actually think I want to know the answer to that, I'm scared my cholesterol will go up just hearing it."
"Ha-ha", Blaine murmured, sighing a moment later as the pain in his aching stomach finally started to ease, "I'm sorry, I know you probably didn't plan on ending your night taking care of your idiot boyfriend."
Kurt giggled a little at that, "Oh Blaine, you know I love you, I really do, but yeah, I kind of did actually", He said fondly, leaning in to press a kiss to Blaine's temple. He giggled again at the wounded look his boyfriend gave him, "I think you tend to forget that I used to live with Finn, and as much as it pains me to say it, you and him are just about equals when it comes to food."
"Hey, we are not", Blaine frowned and considered swatting at Kurt when he laughed again but thinking better of it; "I never bought you food for our anniversary at least."
Kurt's hand stilled as he collapsed against his boyfriend laughing, thinking back to week Rachel had spent on their couch after receiving a box of steaks on her tenth anniversary, "And you will never know how grateful I am for that."
The pinched look on Blaine's face finally started to give way to a drowsy one as Kurt's hand picked up making soothing circles again, "I really am sorry though", He sighed, "And I promise that I will never go to a buffet with Finn again."
"Yes, you will", Kurt smiled, fighting giggles again as he listened to the noises Blaine's stomach was making, "But that's just one of those adorable little quirks you have."
"Oh yeah", He whispered, his eyes starting to droop, "A boyfriend that continuously over eats, that's real adorable."
"It is", Kurt, murmured, shifting to lay down, his head resting on Blaine's chest, "Because it's you, and you're adorable."
Blaine hummed, his breaths deepening, "I think you're the only person in the world that would find this cute."
"I guess you got lucky in finding me then", Kurt smiled.
"Yeah, I really did", Blaine, sighed as he began to drift off.