Ode To A Silly Dress
By Inumaru12
Perry would never know for sure just how this had happened and he wasn't quite sure how he felt about it, but if one thing was sure it was this: This dress was totally not his color.
He wanted to tell Doofenshmirtz this but of course; the crazy guy wouldn't listen to him. (It probably didn't help that he didn't understand him either) So here he was, human-fied, and in a bright orange dress with red stripes down the sides. His first thought on the dress was that it reminded him of the reflectors that people wear when they are biking late. Then Doofenshmirtz had said he was going to it on him. Perry had refused by a quick kick in the gut and tried to run away from the crazy dress wielding man.
Just when the platypus turned man thought it was safe, he was captured by robotic arms and held against his will. Heinz then appeared and started to rant about something from his childhood (something about a girl standing him up at a dance) and then said he wanted Perry to be his date. Perry, who had started to amuse himself by blowing the his new teal human hair out of his face, stopped and looked at the man like he was crazy. His arch-nemesis wanted to bring him to a dance? Perry couldn't help but just blink and growl questioningly.
The doctor assured him, saying he wouldn't do anything evil that evening and even promised not to do anything evil for the rest of the week, which was a pretty big promise seeing how it was Tuesday. After much persuasion, begging, full out crying and even trying to stuff Perry the human into the dress (which led to many awkward positions) the two of them where in a car going towards the Danville ball, which strangely enough was in some children's backyard. Heinz didn't get the connection, or if he did he kept it to himself, and Perry was glad.
All in all, most of the time they spent there was horrible. Perry trying to keep the Heinz away from the children, watching him to make sure that he doesn't do something evil, and the damn dress was the worst part! It was so tight on him and it was made with some kind slippery fabric. Why else would Doofenshmirtz's hand keep slipping and touching his back end? So when the ball ended at 10:00, Perry was more then happy to leave. Doofenshmirtz seemed depressed a bit and for the life of him, Perry couldn't understand why. Heinz told him to come back to his place and he'd change him back to his platypus form.
As soon as they were in the home of his arch-enemy, Perry began to take the dress off. Doofenshmirtz exclaimed that Perry couldn't walk around with no clothes on (as he was wearing nothing underneath the dress) but yet he did nothing about it except staring at Perry. The slightly predator look on his face put Perry on edge, but none of his training could have trained him for this. Heinz walked right up to him, held him by the bare shoulders, and kissed him.
Perry knew what a kiss was. He listened to Candace talk to Stacy about it all the time, wishing that Jeremy would do that to her. But of course, it was completely unexpected when your enemy kisses you like that. Perry though, was lost in the heat of the kiss, and the next thing he knew was he was on the Heinz's bed and the man's tux and under shirt was gone. Perry batted at the tie that was still hanging around the man's neck in a dazed movement. Heinz chuckled and his breath on Perry's skin made warm vibrations go through him. Parry started to question everything that was happening. He was about to break free and kick the doctor's ass into next week when the Doof kissed him again. Perry threw common sense out the window of a thirty story floor and kissed back.
When Perry woke up the next day, his body was sore and was draped over the body his-what? Enemy? Lover? Friend? Perry shook his head slightly and sighed softly. He didn't know the boundary lines anymore and honestly, he didn't care. Last night had been awesome. As the secret agent put his head down on his once enemy's chest and started to drift back to sleep, he couldn't help but think of that dress he had hated so much before. It was that damn dress that led to this. And as Heinz's arm wrapped tighter around Perry's waist and the now human smiled, Perry had to admit that it wasn't so bad wearing that dress. Maybe he'd do it again sometime, just for the Doof.
Owari
Inumaru: My first DoofXPerry! It's for a contest on Deviant Art. I really do love Phineas and Ferb. It's a great show. But anyway, there is absolutely no dialogue in this story, a first of mine. Wish me luck in the contest and tell me what you think.