A/N: Oh. My. God. I'm so sorry... I never thought it would come to this. I... have written a fanfiction about real people...

Oh well... Here's my PewdieCry fanfic: When Roses Cry

Warnings: Slash/BoyxBoy/Yaoi, somewhat graphic sex, drama, drunk sex, cheating, depression

Disclaimer: I do not own Pewdiepie aka Felix Kjellberg, Marzia or Cry/ChaoticMonki/Cryaotic. Duh. This is made purely for fun, no profit.

Full Summary:

How had it come to this? How had he let it get this bad?
He should have known it was a bad idea from the very start of it. All the signs had pointed towards it, and he really should have known better. He was a grown man after all.
Well, if he was perfectly honest with himself, he had known, but of course he'd chosen to ignore it for the time being anyway. He'd ignored all the signs, all the things he knew could, and probably would go wrong. After all, it couldn't possibly be that bad. Right?
Wrong. It had all gone wrong. In so many ways. Oh, god. It had gone so very wrong.
But as he stood there, on the very edge, bracing himself, he knew he wouldn't have done any different had he been given a second chance. He was hurting, but he would never have chosen a different path. He supposed he was just a bit masochistic that way. His only regret was hurting his friend along the way.
Of course, he knew they'd still be upset with him for this, but it would pass, eventually, and at least he wouldn't cause them any more pain…

Chapter 1:

All I Ever Wanted

It had all begun when he had decided to visit Felix, also known as Pewdiepie, in Sweden. They'd been friends online for a long time, and so visiting each other had been a subject they'd discussed several times. Finally they'd decided to do it. Felix would meet up with him at the airport, and drive him to the hotel he'd stay at. And that was the first mishap. As they entered the hotel, Ryan, or Cry, had been informed that due to a computer malfunction or something his booking hadn't been registered, and now all rooms were occupied. He got an offer of a discount for the next time he chose to use the hotel, a refund, and an apology, but there was nothing else they could do for him. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It was fine, he supposed. It couldn't be that difficult to find another hotel, right? But Pewdie had a better idea.
"Why don't you stay with me? It's not like there's a lack of space, and it'll be a lot cheaper," the Swede suggested. Cry grinned and nodded.
"Sure, why not?" he said, shooting Pewdie a grateful look.
"I'm sure Marzia won't mind," the blonde smiled back. Cry's smile faltered slightly.
Mishap number two. Cry had completely forgotten about Pewdie's Italian girlfriend currently living with him. He shrugged it off, though. Surely it wouldn't make that much of a difference. If anything, she'd only help remind him that he couldn't flirt with the Swede as he was already taken.

Because you see, the American gamer had a slight problem. He had fallen for his Swedish friend. It had started out innocently enough, he had just begun noticing small stuff about him that he normally wouldn't have. Like the way his eyes shone when he was happy, or how adorable he looked when he'd been scared. It hadn't really taken him long to notice that he had a small crush on Pewdie. But he'd ignored it. Just a phase, he'd told himself. It would pass. Besides, the blonde was taken. He had a beautiful GIRLfriend, from Italy, with long, brownish blonde hair, and the sweetest voice.
But the crush hadn't passed. It had only intensified as they kept gaming together, talking and playing around. He'd slipped up once. While playing portal 2 together with Pewdie, he'd accidentally told the other that he loved him. Pewdie had laughed it off, and so had Cry, pretending it was a joke. He'd almost cried that night, thinking about it.
Nevertheless, he still considered Pewds a close friend, and though he knew they'd never be more than friends, he appreciated every moment spent laughing together, which is why the visit to Sweden had seemed like such a good idea.

Still, as he entered the apartment of Felix Kjellberg, he had a feeling he shouldn't have said yes. He should have found another hotel. But so far, everything seemed ok. Pewds showed him to the guest room, saying that he and Marzia shared a room anyway. Cry smiled and thanked the blonde, before unpacking his baggage and dropping down onto the bed. It was pretty late after all, and he hadn't really slept much on the plane, as the trip had been a bit turbulent.

When he woke up, it was to the sound of Pewds shrieking. Cry looked over to the alarm clock stationed on the small bedside table. His eyes widened and he jumped out of bed. It was nearly half past twelve in the morning! He quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt, before leaving the room. He walked into the living room casually, and made sure Pewds' facecam didn't catch him. The Swede was absorbed in the game he was playing, some form of horror game, that he didn't notice the American boy until he was right next to him. The reaction was instantaneous. Pewdie gasped and flailed, knocking his camera over, falling onto the floor and accidentally killing himself in the game. Cry laughed.
"Sorry Felix, I was just wondering why I woke up to screaming," he said, a smirk gracing his face while he offered the fallen Swede a hand. Felix chuckled and grabbed it, pulling himself back up. Placing his camera back where it was supposed to be, without showing Cry's face, he addressed his bros.
"We'll end the episode there bros. It seems I'm too irresistible for Cry here to stay away from me," he winked before chuckling. "Like and favorite if you enjoyed the video, subscribe to become a bro today," as he did his outro, Cry chorused in, making Pewds laugh before he brofisted the camera and shut it off.

"Where's Marzia?" Cry asked, taking a bite of his freshly made sandwich.
"She said she was going shopping," Pewds shrugged, a wistful look in his eyes catching Cry's attention.
"How are things between you two anyway?" Cry blurted out, immediately regretting it. It wasn't his place to ask. "You don't have to answer that," he quickly amended.
"It's cool. To be honest, we've been a bit shaky. But it seems to be going better now actually. She's even gotten a few new friends here, which helps. A lot of the issues we had came from her not being able to do much here," the blonde smiled. Cry returned the smile.
"Good to hear," he said, choking down the disappointment he felt, and the guilt for being disappointed.
"What are your plans for your stay in Sweden?" Pewdie asked. Cry shrugged.
"Honestly, I didn't think about it much. I just needed to get away for a while. And what better way to do it than to visit a friend, right?" he said, a somber look taking over his posture.
"Of course. Well, some co-op gaming is definitely in store, and Marzia and I can take you sightseeing later on,"
"Sounds great," Cry smiled, hoping Pewdie didn't notice how strained it was.

He'd been depressed. A long time he'd struggled with it. Cry's life in the States hadn't been the best. He'd been bullied in school, his parents were distant at best, his father never having been there for him at all. And while gaming helped a bit, the negative comments on videos he posted were less than helpful. Granted, he had enough fans to support him, but virtual support and real life support wasn't quite the same. He'd come close to killing himself a few times, but hadn't actually gone through with any attempt.
As he played more games with Pewds, talking and having fun with him, and making friends with other youtubers, he had gotten less depressed. It had worked wonders, for a while…
When his crush on Pewdie became harder to ignore the depression had come back. Knowing he could never be with him was killing him inside, and each hater on YouTube made things worse. Finally he'd decided to get away from it all for a while. Of course he'd continue to post videos, and he'd still have a crush on his best friend, but at least he wouldn't have to listen to the people back home with their harsh words. Besides, he'd figured it would be fun to actually go to Sweden and meet Pewds in person.

He liked Marzia, he really did, she was a real sweetheart. But it was hard not to resent her when seeing her kissing and hugging Felix. She had everything he wanted, and he couldn't help the envy blooming in his chest every time he saw her being close with Pewds. Therefore it wasn't all that strange when he felt the aching pain in his chest while the happy couple showed him around.
After a while of seeing the sights, they'd gone to MacDonald's for a bite to eat. Marzia seemed to have realized how uncomfortable her and Pewds' kissing had made him, and had settled for just occasionally holding her boyfriend's hand. Cry was grateful for it, but said nothing. He knew he had no chance. The pair had been together for a little over two years after all, and he wouldn't want to get between them. Still, he appreciated Marzia's thoughtfulness.
"I will be out with some friends tomorrow, and we were going to have a girls night out, so I'll probably stay at one of their houses for the night," she said with a smile. "You guys probably want some guy-time, for gaming and stuff," she added. Pewds visibly brightened at that.
"Awesome! Maybe we'll play some more Portal?" he suggested with a wide grin. Cry smiled back.
"Sure, sounds great to me," he said. Inwardly he was cheering, he'd have Pewds to himself for an entire night!

On that note they paid for their food and went back home. Marzia made a Vlog, featuring Pewds and the voice of Cry, serving both of them some delicious treats she'd made and asking their opinions on them.
"11 out of 10," Pewds said jokingly, laughing at her pout.
"Really, what did you think?" she asked.
"It was delicious, 10 out of 10," he said with a warm smile. She turned to Cry.
"Is he lying?" she asked, making sure to keep her camera on the treat and not on Cry.
"No, it was really good. I agree completely," Cry shot her a smile. She gave Pewds a peck on the cheek and finished the video, waiting until later to edit it, opting instead to join the two guys on the couch. Pewds immediately put his arm around her shoulders and sat comfortably like that as they watched TV. Cry avoided looking at the happy couple, and did his best to ignore the pain in his chest every time he failed. The Swedish subtitles on the American TV shows were slightly distracting, but overall not too bad. At least it wasn't dubbed. A few hours later, after watching some movie Cry didn't really recall the title of, or the plot for that matter, Marzia yawned.
"It's getting late, maybe we should go to bed," she suggested. Both Pewdiepie and Cry had to agree with that, as the yawning proved to be contagious. After the brushing of teeth, Pewds and Marzia went to their room, while Cry went to his own. Laying down on the bed, trying very hard to pretend he wasn't bothered by the couple. Eventually, he fell asleep.

Cry was playing a game with Pewds. They were laughing and occasionally mocking each other, having fun as always. Suddenly Cry put his controller down and grabbed Pewdie's shirt, pulling the other man closer, he touched his lips to the Swede's. Pewdie immediately responded, intensifying the kiss. Cry pushed him down on the bed and crawled on top of him. He proceeded to place kisses on Pewdie's neck, while his hand moved south. Slipping one hand into Pewdie's pants he heard the blonde moan. But as soon as he began removing his own pants he found himself in the bathroom, looking into a mirror. Something was obstructing his view, and he lifted a hand to remove it. He pulled off a mask and looked at it. A poker face was painted on, looking exactly like the face of the "'sup guy". He tossed it to the floor and filled his hands with water, splashing it onto his face. When he looked up he jumped. His reflection smirked back at him, donning a twisted version of the Cry-mask. The mouth scribbled out and transformed into a mad grin, and the eyes somehow darker. The mask was pulled to the side, still visible, but revealing the Mirror Cry's face. His eyes were burning red, a wide grin on his face. It was strange, the scribbles on the mask seemed to have been painted onto the skin of Mirror Cry's face.
"You're nothing, you know. Why would he want you when he has Her?" the reflection said, his voice sounding like Cry's, but somehow distorted, as if there were two of him speaking at once. The reflection reached out of the mirror, grabbing the edges and pulling himself out. Cry stepped back, but was grabbed. The reflection took hold of Cry's shirt and lifted him up.
"Pathetic child, you should grow up!" he said before throwing Cry to the floor, kicking him once he tried to get up. Another pair of feet joined his. Cry looked up, seeing Pewdie standing there, a disgusted look on his face.
"I can't believe I let you stay in my apartment," he said, kicking Cry. Marzia, standing next to him, pecked him on the cheek.
"Good job Felix," she said. The room seemed oddly dark. Cry's hands felt sticky and wet.
"I'm sorry!" he yelled. But the couple seemed so far away. Mirror Cry was the only one left, once again with his mask covering his face. Cry couldn't stand looking at him, and looked down on the wet, black floor. The lights turned on and he screamed. The floor wasn't black. It was red. Covered in blood. Cry could see his Reflection in it. He backed up until he sat in the corner, looking at his hands. He soon found the source of the blood. It was running down his body from a hole in his chest…

Gasping loudly, Cry woke up. He clutched at his chest, almost expecting it to be soaked in blood still. Sweat covered his body and he was shaking. It had been a while since he'd had a nightmare like that. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing before switching on the lights. He checked the time, seven thirty… Shrugging he walked to the bathroom to take a shower. He locked the door behind him and stripped before jumping in the shower. He let the water run down his body, cooling him down. When he finished, he dried off with a towel, he avoided looking in the mirror as best he could and swallowed down one of his antidepressant pills before putting the box back in his room. He walked back to the living room, switched the TV on, careful to keep the volume down, and dropped onto the couch. An hour or so later he had dozed off, snoring slightly as his head rested on the armrest, one leg on the floor, the other on the couch. He startled and awoke as he heard a door open and close. Sitting up properly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he looked around, eventually spotting Marzia on her way to the kitchen.
"Leaving already?" he said with a yawn. The girl jumped slightly and turned to him.
"Oh, you're up! I didn't see you there," she said. "Yeah, it's like ten thirty, and I'm meeting my friends at eleven, so I have to leave soon,"
"I see… I must've fallen asleep on the couch…" he muttered to himself. Apparently the girl heard him.
"When did you get up?" she wondered.
"Around eight… Couldn't sleep," he shrugged.
"Oh. Ok. Felix should be up soon too. Unless he simply went back to sleep. He does that sometimes," she chuckled and rolled her eyes, showing Cry that this probably happened a lot. "I was just going to cook up some eggs and bacon for me and Pewds, but since you're up, do you want some too?" she said with a smile. She really was a sweetheart.
"Yeah… Thanks," he said and followed her into the kitchen.
"Why did you decide to come to Sweden anyway? I mean, meeting Felix in person can't be the only reason," she wondered as she got the eggs from the fridge.
"Just, stuff… I needed to get away from everything at home for a bit. A friend is watching my cat for me while I'm here, so I can stay for a while… Well, I wouldn't want to impose on you guys though, so I'll get checked into a hotel asap," he said. Not sure why he even answered that. "Here, I'll help you set the table," he added and began getting out the plates and cutlery.
"I see. Well, you're no trouble at all, so there's no rush. It has to be cheaper to stay here than in a hotel anyway," the girl said with a soft smile.
"Thank you. I really appreciate it," he answered. Though honestly, he didn't know if he could stand being around the happy couple for that much longer.

At that moment Pewdie walked out of the bedroom and entered the kitchen. Pajama pants sagging slightly, nearly slipping off as he walked, his hair messy and the baggy t-shirt he wore looked a little shabby.
"Good morning," he yawned.
"Morning," Cry responded, while Marzia went over to kiss the Swede. Pewds sat down by the table, grabbed a plate and some bread, and filled up a glass of water.
"You're up early," he said, looking at Cry.
"Yeah, the only reason I slept in yesterday was the jetlag," he shrugged. Pewds smiled and turned to Marzia after putting some bacon onto his plate.
"The eggs done yet?"
"In a minute," the girl said. "Be patient," she added as Pewds stood up to peek over her shoulder.

Once breakfast was done, the girl said goodbye and left the apartment. The two boys remained, and looked at each other before grinning and rushing to their computers, readying a game of prop hunt, and quickly inviting theRPGMinx, CinnamonToastKen and a couple of others. What followed was a couple of hours of intense gaming, with lots of laughter and cussing.
"Cry, where are you?" Pewds asked, running around as a chair.
"Over here," Cry said, jumping. He was disguised as a tin can.
"Where?"
"Here!"
"I can't see—AH!" Pewds shrieked as Minx came after him, firing at him as he tried to outrun her, randomly changing into other objects as he went. Finally she used her grenade and took him out.
"Noo!" the Swede yelled as he died. Cry chuckled and continued following Minx, so far unseen. It didn't last long though, as he was spotted by Ken, who quickly took him out. They ended the game and said goodbye after that.

The two boys sat down in the couch, opening a couple of beers. Cry watched as Pewds drank. Following the movements of the Swede. Upon realizing that he was staring, he looked away, glad he hadn't been caught. Pewds put his beer down.
"You up for some more games?" he asked, gesturing towards the Wii. Cry grinned.
"Of course! Get ready to get your ass kicked!"

After deciding that they had to do a shot after every time they lost it hadn't taken long for both to become somewhat drunk. Unfortunately for Pewds, Cry was a slightly better gamer, and as a result Pewdie was quite a bit more drunk than the American. Currently they were spread out on the couch in front of the TV, watching some Swedish talk show that Cry didn't understand. Every now and then, the drunk Swede would start cackling at what was said, and mumble something in Swedish. Cry couldn't help but think the accent was sexy, despite not understanding a word of it. Looking at Pewdie, he leaned a bit closer, his drunken state relieving him of his inhibitions. Cue mishap number three.
"What're you doing?" the Swede slurred, his cheeks slightly flushed from inebriation. Cry leaned over Pewdie, sprawled out on the couch, grabbed his face and pressed his lips against Pewdie's in a sloppy kiss. Pewdie's eyes widened and he pulled away slightly.
"Wha-" Cry dove back in, capturing his lips and this time forcing his tongue in for a deeper kiss. Pewdie gasped slightly, allowing Cry to deepen the kiss. Soon, though, the Swede stopped being unresponsive as Cry's tongue coerced him to respond. Instead of pulling away, or pushing the other off, his lids lowered and his arms awkwardly located Cry's waist, pulling the boy closer. Cry's heartbeat sped up and he let his hand slip from its place behind Pewds' head, down, continuing to slowly make its way south.

He stopped it for a second as they separated for air, a line of saliva connecting them. In the back of his mind, Cry knew that he was taking advantage of the Swedish man, doing this while the Swede was clearly drunk, but being just a little less drunk himself, he just couldn't bring himself to care. He dove in for another kiss, feeling warmth pool in his gut as Pewds immediately let him in. His hand continued its path down, cupping Pewdie's crotch and delighting as he felt the jeans of the Swede grow tighter as he touched it. Rubbing his hand across it, he could feel himself getting harder as well when Pewdie moaned into their kiss, lifting his hips slightly to get closer to that teasing friction.
"Marzia~" the Swede moaned, clearly out of it. Cry let his teeth nip Pewdie's tongue.
"No," he mumbled, fondling the other's crotch a little rougher. Pewds' eyes opened and focused.
"Cry?" he looked confused for a moment, but as Cry continued his ministrations he soon gave into the pleasure.

By this point, Cry's pants were becoming uncomfortably tight, and he could hardly believe that he wasn't dreaming. He slipped his hands under Pewds' shirt, and began removing it. As soon as it was off, their lips reconnected. Both were breathing heavily through their noses and perspiration had begun to make itself known. Cry removed himself from Pewdie's lips and began placing kisses down his neck, chest and stomach. As he reached the hem of his pants he lingered. But only for a second, as he noticed the tightness of the jeans. He unbuttoned it and pulled down the zipper, roughly pulling down both pants and boxers, freeing Pewdie's cock. Cry smirked as Pewdie gasped when the cool air of the room hit his exposed erection. Cry didn't hesitate for a second before licking his lips and taking the cock into his mouth. He hadn't really done it before, and the fact that he was drunk didn't help. However, it seemed his skill, or lack thereof, didn't matter, as Pewdie soon moaned and bucked his hips into the warm wetness of Cry's mouth. Cry nearly gagged, and pulled back gasping for air. He quickly unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants off, not even bothering with the shirt. He reached for the tube of hand cream left on the table by Marzia. Rose scented. He spread it on his fingers and moved back up, placing his lips on Pewdie's to distract him as he let one finger slip inside the Swede's ass. His free hand was used to play with the man's nipples and occasionally brushing his cock. Pewds didn't appear to notice what the other hand was doing until he slipped another finger in, scissoring them to prepare him for the next step. He shuffled away uncomfortably, clenching down on the fingers.
"Noo~" he whined.
"Don't worry 'bout it," Cry whispered and kissed him again. Pewdie, distracted by the kiss and the hand now playing with his cock, relaxed again, allowing Cry to resume his preparations. As he added a third finger he brushed Pewdie's prostate, nearly sending the man over the edge.
"Ah! D-do that again!" he slurred, and Cry smirked. He grabbed the hand cream and poured some more into his hand, covering his dick with it. He shuddered slightly at the coldness, but soon got over it as he placed himself between Pewdie's legs. He had to use all his mental strength to keep himself from pushing in all at once, as the tightness surrounded the tip of his cock. He took his time, but soon he was completely sheathed in Pewdie's ass. He was panting, and Pewdie was looking pretty far gone as well. Slowly he started moving. Pewds cried out slightly in pain, but as Cry brushed his sweet spot again he melted into the movement. Cry picked up the speed, thrusting into the blond quicker. Pewds' legs wrapped around him and pulled him in. As Cry thrust in one more time, he hit Pewdie's prostate dead on and the Swede cried out as he came. Hard. The muscles of his ass contracted around Cry's cock, and it only took a couple more thrusts for Cry to follow suit, ejaculating into Pewdie. He pulled out, noticing how the cum followed, slightly tinted with pink, and panting he sat back up. The couch was a mess… Pillows had been thrown onto the floor along with a few of the beer cans they'd emptied earlier. Pewds had passed out and was snoring loudly, looking thoroughly fucked and hotter than ever. Placing a kiss on his lips, and sloppily tossing a blanket over him, Cry moved away from the couch, stumbling into his bedroom and collapsing on the bed. He was asleep within seconds, legs half hanging out of the bed, still wearing socks.