Title: Just for Tonight
Words: 4690 (Longest one shot yet)
Pairing: Booth/Brennan
Spoilers: None
Rating: M
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, and if they were I would be on a Caribbean island spending the money. Beware of the long, long foreplay between fluff and angst.
Don't look back once or you might turn around. Tonight I'll give myself to you and our secret stays untold.
Ville Valo & Manna - Just for tonight
He stepped into the living room and immediately a heat wave caressed the skin in his face. The summer nights were becoming warmer, and if it was not from the fan swirling lazily in the ceiling, staying would be unbearable. Crossing the dark walls, he reached his destination in the further corner of the apartment, and pushed the door open slightly.
The room was large and lively decorated. A wide window on the right side, with curtains that danced to the soft breeze, let the pale light of the full moon enter and illuminate the space inside. In the center a queen size bed stood proudly, occupying the majority of the room.
She laid in that spacious bed, among white linens, protected from the harsh outside world, and in that careless state, she slept peacefully. The long stains of her auburn hair fell across the pillows that nested below her head.
Carefully, he entered further into the room, but was taken by surprise when the scent he knew already too well by day bathed the air. Then, he paused, and captured in his nostrils that sweet aroma, so characteristic of her.
In the shadows of the room, he stood and watched. Watched her turn in between sheets, her body stretching and twisting unconsciously, which brought her body to move across the bed, and the sheets fell slightly down her body, exposing her naked skin.
His eyes flicked with a burning flame and his heart beat faster in his chest at every sight of exposed flesh.
Her milk like skin called for him like a seducing siren's song, which his body didn't knew how to resist. The only fight he would never get to be the winner in the end was against himself, because all his body urged to feel her feminine heat against him. He lurked in the darkness of her bedroom like a hunter observing his prey. It had been the weight in his heart that had driven his steps to her door in the dead of the night, and even though the idea seemed so preposterous he couldn't help to come for comfort.
At every past second, as drops of sweat covered his forehead, breathing became difficult and, after a while, her blue eyes opened wide and shone brightly under the moon light.
Her pupils adjusted to the dim light at the same time her heart started to race and drum in her ears. On impulse, her body jerked upright and, instantly, her hands clasped the sheets tightly around her body.
Her eyes locked with the shadow in the corner, and even thought fear gripped her throat and restrained her breathing she couldn't look away. The dark silhouette remained still, and for a moment she thought about reaching under the bed for the baseball bat, but something changed her mind.
From the shadows the figure emerged to reveal the brown eyes that soothed her heart and relaxed her muscles, even at a distance. It felt like the man had materialized in front of her directly from her dreams, and if it was a dream, it was as vivid as the tortuous reality, for he stood across from her, him frame almost palpable.
But it certainly wasn't a dream, because, in her dreams, he always came with bright smiles and sweet words, in candid black and white. The man in front of her didn't hold traces of happiness in his features. She studied his face for a moment, his somber state made her shudder under the fine linen. His eyes were dark and heavy, his lips set into a straight line, and even in the dark she noticed his fingers twist nervously. There was only one time in which he revealed those heavy lines of sadness, and often by night and in the intimacy of their lives.
She sensed the distress in him, a building wave of sorrow burning in his chest unable to unleash in any other way than to search for her, and for the opposite feelings to attenuate his angst.
It had been developing for a while, their escapades in the middle of the night. Neither knew how it actually begun and, looking back, they only remembered the intense feelings that suffocated them in that night. At first, the need and the lust for comfort threatened to engulf one of them, and the other, unable to watch without caring for the other's suffering, unchained from the restrains of rationality and embraced the dance just for that night. Night after night, it developed into something else, something free from reason, from the ties of affairs or acknowledgements for the future.
At night, when the burdens in their shoulders seemed to take them down, they would give themselves one to another, their desires and fears, in a way that couldn't possibly be at the light of the day. And they lived for these moments, even though the dawn would take it all away in the morning and hide the guilt and the shame nestled between the sheets. The days went by and their secret would forever stay in silence, unacknowledged even by them, the only silent witnesses to their feverous adoration to one another, masked by the search for comfort and the undeniable fear of loneliness.
She reached for him, if not physically with her mind, and opened herself, once more, to his grief. Slowly, but without hesitation, her hands released the white fabric around her body, and revealed herself to him. There was no regret once her mind found the altruistic compassion towards her partner of so long, the one who showed her in the same fashion how to release herself from the chains of logic, and open herself to the world.
"Booth." She said softly, like a caress, inviting and promising. And it was the only word needed to trigger his movement and the beginning of a path with no turn back.
She watched him move with the dexterity she had never seen in him before, and in a cat like movement, fast and smooth, he climbed the bed and crawled his way among the sheets to come face to face with her. His legs, dressed in dark jeans, straddled her own, which were stretched under the remaining linen.
Dark brown eyes stared directly into deep blue ones. A blue so deep and mysterious, akin to the sea. A sea in which he desperately wanted to dive and be lost forever.
A single touch, his hand in her face caressing her cheek lightly, was enough to light the fire of passion and make it burn higher and brightly. That gesture made her body tremble and his close proximity bathed her body in warmth. He triggered feelings that her body couldn't deny, and even thought her brain searched for logic explanations, it failed every time. It was in these nights, when their bodies moved in a vertiginous dance, that she learned their silent language, which was far beyond what she had learned with logic until now. But all those feelings were new and complex, and among the wonderful feelings that he brought, it also carried fear.
But tonight was about him, she reminded herself silently and, neglecting her own feelings, she reached with her hand to touch his face the way he was doing to her, and in that moment, his eyes fluttered shut and a ghost of a smile appeared in his lips.
He enveloped her in his strong arms and held her small but strong frame, against him. She was not a simple woman, not weak at all; she was a congregation of perfect feminine forms. His body was larger in comparison. The years of work out and army shaped his form into a massive structure of built muscle, and even with his shirt still covering his torso, she could feel the defined outline of his chest. It trilled her, to have such a strong man embracing her with such tenderness and care, even with the deep turmoil inside him.
Again, in his arms, she felt that that was the place where she could lose total and complete sanity.
She reached forward and placed her lips upon his with gentleness. His own moved at their own accord with hers, and soon the kiss developed into a need higher than them that consumed their last rational thoughts and threw their minds into a blissful void. Her hands, already trained with him, gained life of their own and explored the skin underneath his shirt. She tugged at the fabric impatiently, and watched him detach his lips from hers and remove it from his body and throw it to a forgotten place in the floor.
Now, undressed from waist up before her eyes, she let her fingertips travel the paths that she had already memorized, they moved from his neck, down to his well defined abdomen, all the while feeling his muscles contract under her soft touch. A small laugh escaped her lips at the reality of her power over him. Drunk in that control, she threw her arms around his neck and crushed both her lips and her chest against him, eliciting shivers of pleasure from both.
The kisses melted into one and another, until neither could define a tangible line between where one ended and the other begun, as he pushed her into the mattress with the weight of his body. Her lips moved away from his to explore the other sensations he had to offer. They traveled across his strong jaw and small stubble, the sensation so different and yet desired that her raging breath transformed itself into a pleasurable moan. He tasted good as well, but she already knew that, and yet, it felt like the first time all over again. As her lips descended into his neck, and his did the same to her, the fainted hint of cologne tingled in her tongue, so sweet and spicy all at once.
Tired of her explorations, and even though he enjoyed them truthfully, he wanted to return the favor to her, because that's what they were, giving and taking. So, he turned his head and captured in his mouth one of the long fingers that were caressing his head so eagerly. He kissed them, one by one, and felt the softness of the tools for her work, her own fingers.
His lips had felt tender against hers, but now that they were kissing her fingers the feeling of adoration jumped the previous boundaries. It had never felt so sensual being kissed in such place, a place she didn't knew that could give her such intense delight.
As soon as he held the fingers captive, and watched her face dissolve into the enjoyment with piercing eyes, he released them, just to capture her begging lips once more. For years he sought to kiss those rosy lips with the voracity he could now, to kiss those lips that only knew how to express science nonsense and sometimes reserved the truthful smiles for him. He could kiss them now, without restrains, and savor the sensations that came from them. From those lips came another moan, an unrestrained loud sound that resonated on the walls around them and hit his ears like a sweet melody.
She heard herself give in to the pleasure once more, and by the time their kisses became insatiable she had lost control over her vocal chords and volunteer movements, for he always seemed to know where to touch to elicit the deepest sensations in her body.
His hands slowly traveled the length of her exposed body, each curve and each inch of her skin ached to be touched. Under his manly fingertips her flesh dissolved into goose bumps. He gathered one of her legs free from the sheet and wrapped it around his waist. She trembled underneath him once more, the feeling of his chest against the curve of her breasts felt delightful, and their bodies became more tangled at each movement together.
By the way his hands slid over her breasts, how they teased the sensitive skin there, she knew that he demanded more. He was eager to feel her, to take more from her.
Never before had a man demanded so much from her, nor did she give it so freely like now. It didn't seem to bother her body how in control he was over her, even thought her mind struggled to relinquish the power. Nevertheless, she allowed him to take it all tonight; he needed to feel the control in his hands, that power would allow him to dominate his inner struggle again.
Tired of the apparently short contact between their skins, he gripped the sheet and threw it to the other side of the bed, leaving her completely naked to his eyes. His eyes drank in the paleness of her, her body seemed to glow in the dark and the urge he felt for her gave away to the complete admiration of her goddess like figure. For as long as he could take her, he would never get tired of looking at her, and that feeling tugged at his heart and made him stop.
She sensed his eyes wonder through her skin in appreciating but felt something in him shift as well. Almost imperceptibly his eyes softened from the dark lusty color to a deep longing one. Her blue eyes read there faint hints of regret swimming in a deep sadness, and that made her act on impulse again. It seemed that lately, it was the only thing that she did around him. Her hands reached for him and touched his face. With the tips of her fingers she smoothed the worry lines of his features, and brought him back into her waiting lips.
There was not another moment of hesitation from his part, and he took what she offered willingly. His body crushed down with hers and a growl left his throat. That sound echoed in his chest and in hers as well, making her fingernails dig into the soft flesh of his shoulders as their kiss developed into a hungry battle where neither would win.
His attention went to her neck when she threw her head back. He lavished the white column of her neck with wet, open mouthed kisses and delicate angry bites.
Their breaths became more and more audible in the room. His against her ear, hot and wet, and hers panting and gasping between the kisses she placed in his strong shoulders.
He continued his travel down her body, kissing her exposed chest. One of his hands wrapped once more around her breast as his lips teased the skin on the other. His mouth captured her pink nipple abruptly and a shocked gasp flew out of her throat. He pulled at it hungrily and savored, with the sweet taste of her skin, her lazy sighs. Farther low he went with his hand, caressed her flat stomach and the rounded hip that held the secret altar of his desire. Finally meeting his end, his fingers slid into the most intimate of her. With a pleased cry her legs opened voluntarily to him. He took her lips in his again and drank from her murmurs, his hand taking her to higher levels of pleasure.
His hand, with the fingers of a warrior, seemed to gain a new skill in this battle field. They moved vigorously as she begged for freedom. Higher and higher she climbed, while her head rolled on the pillow, her body contracted and her intimate begged for more.
"It will be over soon." He breathed in her ear. That statement, ambiguous as it was, was also true. Soon enough everything would vanish into the rising sun, all they had was tonight. So, they kept dancing.
And that dance just made the heat spread through her body, coming from where his fingers played. He felt it coming, and watched it everywhere in her face, in the way her body bent, and how her voiceless breath urged him on.
A heat wave took over her, her body flushed in a beautiful rose color while her eyes shut themselves tight and her back bent. Her body searched for his hand and hers pushed handfuls of the sheet beneath her. Just like an electric wave, the most intensive pleasure yet overcame her, throwing her loudly into an abyss of ecstasy.
In the aftermath of the falling, her body trembled and he kept watching her and the powerful reaction he drew, never releasing her. More and more came her way, and when it seemed impossible to reach higher, he took her there. And her face was deep flushed as her teeth bit dangerously on her lower lip.
But as sudden as the pleasure came, it went away, leaving a blissful smile on both his lips. Her body relaxed on the mattress again.
When she finally opened her eyes again, she found him looking straight at her, the look of adoration evident all over his features and for a moment, the traces of sadness were gone.
He felt a little bit more complete again, just by knowing that she trusted him so deeply that let herself go with no restrains and be able to experience a kind of love she had never felt before, even thought that love came by actions and disguised as a necessity. His mouth took hold of hers yet again, but this time he took his time to appreciate the contours of her small lips, the delicate curve of her tongue and her incredible taste. The kiss was a simple thankful response to her eager passion.
Then again, that single kiss elicited the desire in both of them, like a burning flame that never went out.
Her hands reached for his belt buckle, that infamous one which she gave him a while back, almost signalizing her ownership over him, and made quick work on him while he was more occupied with her lips. Once free, she pushed the jeans and underwear down his muscled hips and he worked the rest out.
Now, naked for her to see, she was the one caught by the sight. She had seen many men throughout her life, of distinct shapes and forms, but nothing ever compared to the view of her naked partner. As an anthropologist she had specialized in the human anatomy and what she always saw in him, in the purest of states, made her rethink all the basic information about the human body. It was not the perfect symmetric appearance of his shoulders and hips, or the finely defined muscles over his chest and legs, not even the impressive member that made him so confidant. No, those attributes were superfluous in the whole combination. His softly tanned skin was covered in many, many scars. Some of them were old and had already faded into lighter tones; others were deeper and still angrily visible. All of them told a silent story, the story of the boy he had been and the man he became. A man who had various scars, not only over his skin, but over his soul as well. That's what made her do it, that's what compiled her to give herself to him without restrains, just for tonight.
No more words crossed the air that night; words would only make it real and tear apart the fragile veil between their seemingly untouchable worlds.
And despite any guilt or fear for the day to come, she wrapped her legs around his hips and accommodated him. He felt to be in a sacred place, which she gave to him and he took humbly. Completely wrapped around each other he easily slid deep into her warmth. She had felt that before with him, and still this time felt new and more exciting than the previous time, if possible.
Their bodies were now united in one. He felt again what he had been telling her about love and forever, and hoped that in her heart she felt the same. In their naked state, they devoured each other, the hands mutually explored the flesh exposed, memorizing each single curve, muscle, eternalizing this moment in their memories. Inside of her, he reached depts no one else had achieved before, while he felt her constrict around him in such a pleasurable way. She molded around him, and that strengthen his resolve in sucking all the pleasure he could get from her, to his own ego and her delight as well.
She didn't felt like a mean to an end, never with him, because he loved her body the way he wanted to feel loved. Tonight was gentle, a calm search for the sublimation of the horrid day he had lived.
The pace became faster, hungry and he moved inside her with the gracious force of an animal thirsting for pleasure.
In return, her hands traveled over his back, which rose at every thrust, and pushed him impossibly closed to her. With him on top, she could relinquish in the pleasurable pressure of his weight. She had never been the one on the bottom, always the one dominating the encounter. With him everything changed, not only because he needed the power, but because she found his dominance exciting and terrifying. The combination of both just made her want him more.
They exchanged touches and kisses while 'B's fell from his mouth time and again, but he could never finish the name trapped in his lips, their silent agreement, reason, muted his ecstasy cries for her. His teeth bite softly in her shoulders and neck, bringing more of those whimpers he loved so much to hear, instead.
In the dead of the night only their breathless voices could be hear as they moved in unison, and the creaks of the wood bed.
There was a name in her mind waiting to burst out of her parted lips, but tonight wasn't different from any other night before, the anonymity of their escapade should remain as that, their names would only bring harsh reality upon them.
So, she hushed his name down her throat and freed the languid sighs in a crescendo.
Her legs wrapped more tightly around him when his hands closed at her hips and brought her closer to him, she needed to feel him as deep as he could. His groans became louder and erupted from his chest like a lion's growl completely lost in the blind fever of passion. The rhythm became frantic as he accelerated his drive even more, obtaining remains of strength from the pleas that fell from her mouth. The pace was so fast that their hips pounded against each other at the time her fingernails dug into the flesh of his back, leaving red angry marks to make the night vivid in his skin, come day break.
The feeling of pleasure and pain only made him hold her tighter in his arms, and search for the satiation of his emotional thirst more desperately. Their bodies slide over one another with the deep sweat drops all over them. Between kisses and embraces he felt her close to falling again, as she pulsed rapidly around him.
He then braced all his weight in his arms and drove into her as quickly as he could. Underneath him, she closed her eyes to the sensations building in her lower stomach and arched her back to the bliss.
Finally, the liberation came and her face flushed as the waves splashed through her. The vision from above was perfect, and with the last amount of self restrain he kept pushing past the limbo of pleasure, bringing her higher on her enjoyment. On the last impulse, he gave in, and released all his being inside her. And as he felt his body achieve the freedom he searched from the beginning, another wave of her pleasure enveloped him. His vision blurred, and in his sigh there was only her face twisting to the immense satisfaction he bought to her and in his hears their climax cries echoed even after the heat had subsided.
Suddenly, silence fell upon them as his forehead came to rest upon hers and, with eyes closed both struggled to catch their breaths. All screams and groans stopped, only their lungs begging for air could be heard.
He rolled away from her body, landing on the space beside her in the bed, and took a minute to take in the air that his lungs were demanding.
The night smelled like them, of guilt and unspoken questions. Her sweat rolled down his chest in small, delicate drops, a remembrance of her physical presence beside him, if his other senses were not already overloaded with her.
His first instinct was to flee. The guilt approached his heart, like a deadly enemy, waiting in the darkness to capture his soul which was long gone into the flames. Once more he had come to her in search of comfort that no one else was able to provide. In her arms he sought for forgiveness for sins he committed and the love missing in his life. But this search had long proven to be frustrating, the more he gave into her, the more he came out with heavier burdens. She had embraced him and his needs like he had done in the previous times for her. And that was the irony of their partnership, giving and taking something that was never theirs in the beginning.
This was against everything he believed, because deep in his heart he knew this was not the right way to be with her. Being the traditional man that he was, he felt the need for a deeper sense of romance and giving, a strong relationship fostered in love and trust. All that was crushed in a moment of weakness, where he let go of everything he believed, everything he had been teaching her, as he tried to show her there was more to life and to two people than just senseless rationality.
Like the previous times, the absence of his close proximity rose contradictory feelings inside her. Her mind wrapped in the confusion of it all, because she was not an emotional person after all, neither did she knew how to deal with emotions. And these emotions were almost too much to bear, every time one needed the other desperately like tonight.
Both understood the game that they played on these nights, and although inside they knew the lies they were telling themselves, there was too much at stake, too much to lose if those feelings were brought into day light.
Her eyelids dropped slowly, her brain was being lulled by his steady breathing and the scent of them lingering in the air. She didn't fight the known feeling of comfort and love this time. She just hoped that he felt the same. With that thought playing around her mind, she felt herself being pulled into a dreamless sleep while her body molded to his, unconsciously.
He looked to his side where she laid in a peaceful sleep, unaware of his inner struggle. His hand caressed her face and brushed a curl of her hair aside. There were no worry lines in her features, and without trying, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever fell in love with.
In the darkness of the night, he kept looking at her, cherishing her presence maybe for the last time. He then waited a little longer, before the remorse was too heavy to bear.
It was after a while that a cold breeze enveloped her exposed body and made her shiver. Her eyes opened and tried to adjust to the engulfing darkness. Her senses were fooled. She could still feel his presence, sent his smell, but he was long gone from the bed.
Extending her arm, she let her hand travel over the still warm and ruffled sheets where his body once laid.
And reality felt like a recurring nightmare. She was left alone in her bed, wondering when would be the next time either of them would feel alone.
First sappy ending I ever wrote and I trully enjoyed writing this piece of angst. Some reviews, please? Thank you.