"Okay? Okay."
Kurt has always been resilient. He's never been one to give up or concede to what others want him to be.
He's always been one to stick it out to the end…
Until he meets the most oblivious man on earth, Blaine Anderson. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that Kurt just had to fall head over heels in love with the man.
They meet in their freshman year of college at NYADA when they're moving in to their dorms. Kurt thought it was going to be great having a cute neighbor, but he now knows that it's complete and utter torture.
Since the first meeting, they've been best friends. They have sleepovers and they have half of their classes together. It's all great. Of course, Kurt loves every opportunity he gets to be close to Blaine. He loves that Blaine is a cuddler when they fall asleep watching movies on Kurt's bed. He loves that Blaine holds his hand as they walk to class. He loves all of it—he loves Blaine—but he isn't sure how much longer he can take this kind of heartache.
By the beginning of their third year at NYADA, Kurt is resigned to the fact that Blaine will never return his feelings. He's ready to give up on Blaine and save his heart from further damage.
He decides to tell him so one night before one of their weekly movie nights.
"I don't think… that we can be friends anymore," he says.
Blaine's reaction is expected, given that they've been friends for two years now, but that doesn't make it any less painful.
"What?" he asks, sounding hurt. Kurt doesn't blame him. "Why? Did I do something?"
Kurt almost laughs. He shakes his head. No, you didn't do anything. That's the problem. "I… can't tell you why. That'll only make things worse."
Blaine has tears in his eyes now and Kurt stands up, looking away. It's too painful.
"Kurt, I don't understand."
"Of course you don't," Kurt whispers, too quiet for Blaine to hear. "I just can't do this anymore," he tells Blaine. "It hurts too much."
"Tell me what's wrong so I can fix this," Blaine begs, desperate, and stands up, reaching for Kurt's hand. Kurt flinches away. "Please, don't do this, Kurt. Give me a chance to help the hurt go away."
"I can't," Kurt says again. "I'm sorry, Blaine," he says. His voice cracks and he has to leave the room before he can start crying in front of Blaine. He runs to his own room and locks the door behind him before landing on his bed.
He's gone over this in his head a million times. He's convinced himself that it's the best decision. He can stop hurting over Blaine now; well, eventually. He'll get over him as long as he doesn't have to be so close to him all the time. With distance and time, he'll get over this.
But not if Blaine doesn't stop texting him.
He feels his phone buzz six times before he finally checks it.
Please come back. –B
I'm sorry for whatever I did. Just please don't walk away from me. –B
You're the best thing in my life right now, Kurt. –B
I'm sorry. –B
Please tell me what's going on inside your head. I can't read you like you read me. –B
Please tell me this is a dream. I don't want you to be gone forever. –B
Kurt chokes back tears and holds his phone to his heart, wishing, foolishly, that it was Blaine he was holding. He made his decision. He can't back down.
Please just let me save myself the heartache before the damage is too much to be repaired. I can't keep chasing what I've already lost. –K
Oh my gosh thank you please don't ignore me. –B
Sorry. I got excited because you texted back. –B
Kurt can't help but laugh even while he's still crying. Blaine is too adorable for his own good.
What if we've both been chasing but I'm having a little trouble keeping up? What if I just need you to wait for me so we can cross the finish line together? –B
Blaine, what are you talking about? I don't understand what you're saying. –K
I'm saying that I'm in love with you, Kurt. And I can't lose you. –B
Blaine stares at his phone hopefully. A few minutes go by without a reply and Blaine starts to get worried.
Are you okay? –B
A few seconds later, he hears a knock on his door and he immediately gets up to answer it. He sees Kurt standing there and, before he can say anything, Kurt is kissing him, clinging to him, grounding him when he feels like flying.
When they pull apart, Kurt says, "I am so much better than okay right now, Blaine." He pauses, kissing Blaine again. "But it took you long enough. Why didn't you love me sooner?"
Blaine laughs, reaching up to cup Kurt's cheek. "I've loved you from the beginning, Kurt. You just didn't know it."
Kurt pouts and slaps Blaine's arm. "You should've told me, jerk."
"Hey!" Blaine laughs. "I thought we were good now!"
"No, I'm still mad at you, jerk," Kurt says stubbornly, trying to suppress a smile.
"How can I make it up to you, my love?" Blaine asks, pulling him closer and closing the door behind him.
Kurt breaks into a grin. "First of all, you can call me that for the rest of my life. Second, I'm going to need lots of cuddling and kissing before I decide if I'm done being mad at you."
Blaine laughs again, but it's softer. Fond and tender. "I think that can be arranged."
"Get to it. I'm still mad at you."
"I love you, too," Blaine says, pecking his lips as they ease into Blaine's bed.
Kurt can't help but grin at him after that. "I love you, Blaine."
"At long last," Blaine says softly, grinning at the love of his life.
A/N: These boys are ridiculous. I can't seem to end things with anything other than fluff. They're just little cuddly muffins who love each other and I can't stand it. Guh, they're so cute.
Okie dokie! Ignore my ramblings.
This'll most likely be the last update for tonight as I am still sick and I need to get some rest. But we shall see how my brain works tonight! I always say I'm not going to update anymore and then I do.
Review please! :D