Disclaimer: I own nothing, if I did, then...Well, I can't imagine. Saiyuki belongs to Minekura Kazuya.
Summary: Through those lonely centuries, Seiten always cursed the seal that separated him and his innocent soul. Even now, he still does, but Seiten Taisei always gets what he wants.
Warning: Yaoi/Shounen-Ai, Semi-AU, Language, Possible OOC
Pairing:
Seiten Taisei x Goku
Hinted Sanzo x Goku, Konzen x Goku
A/N: I had begun to love Saiyuki recently, a few months ago I believe. Anyway, due to a couple of authors Seiten Taisei x Goku stories, I had loved the pairing almost as much as a few other favorites. I want to at least explain this one-shot. This one-shot is combined with after Gaiden, before Saiyuki, and during Saiyuki Reload. There is some mention of the anime as well. Mainly, I wanted to write out how Seiten Taisei and Goku felt during their prison and after being released. I'm planning another story that is related to this one as an insight if anyone can catch the hints here. Hehe.~
Added, this is unbetaed, so my mistakes are mine alone and there a few things here based on the author windwhisper and Eyes of the Shinigami stories, a couple of them to be exact. (I apologize beforehand if I seemed like I am plagiarizing. *Bows*)
Tips:
Monkey-Present Time/Goku POV
Monkey- Seiten Taisei POV
"Monkey"- Seiten Taisei Speaking
"Monkey" - Goku thoughts or speaking to Seiten Taisei.
One-Shot
Goku always pondered why, how, when, or what reasons there could be for him to be trapped in this stone prison. He knew he did something wrong, that was the least of it, but what did he do wrong or how was the question. He had no memories before he woke up for the first time inside this cage, this cold and lonely cage. The only thing he could remember was his name; Goku.
But Goku who? Goku what? Was he bad or good?
The brunette didn't think he was bad, but he wasn't sure if he was good either.
A depressing sigh escaped his lips, his golden eyes gazing at the setting sun. The crimson hues covering the skies and dying the clouds a bright red color. There were tints of blue and purple signaling another night to come. But his attentions were always set on the sun, the bright sun that attracted him and had tugged this feeling in his chest. Something important, but he couldn't remember what.
The crimson color, if he thought deeply, brought an odd and dreadful ache in his heart. No, not ache, but this fear. The fear that stopped him from trying to remember what he wanted, what he needed to remember.
There was no need for him to remember, the creature living in the back of Goku mind decided. The powerful being that was neither human nor demon, much less a God, but held power equaling to the Heavens was sealed currently by the golden coronet.
That was him, Seiten Taisei.
He pitied his other half, the half that was created to be his substitute while sealed. Seiten was envious that Goku could have the freedom while he was sealed, but that never stop the fondness he had over the boy. The fondness that grew long before he was sealed, before they had been brought to Heaven, and placed under Konzen Douji care.
Gods, he hated them with fiber of his being. They were hypocrites, tainted to the very core, and so cowardly to anything impure. Seiten could never forgive them for making the accursed seal; unable to talk to the boy he cared for.
He hated them with pure passion.
He hated them for causing Goku so much pain, judging them only due to their birth and strength, taking away Goku memories not once, but twice, and imprisoned them in this cold cave with this damn seal. He hated those Gods that became close to Goku heart and left him for his sake, but nothing had changed. It only made things worse and this was the result. The loneliness, the emptiness, and the agony Goku was currently feeling, Seiten could feel it. It only fueled his hatred for the Gods for making it unable for him to talk to his other half.
Seiten felt useless.
Once again, he huffed out and calmed himself down. It would do nothing to get riled up today or tomorrow for a very long time. But, he had time to think on what he should do. He had made plans to get revenge on the Gods one day; he would need Goku help with that. Also onto the list, he needed to find a way to have his own body, have Goku remember his past, and make sure he protects his Goku no matter what.
Those memories brought a smile on Seiten face along with longing to speak to the boy again. If Konzen Douji –the name was bile in Seiten mouth- was like a sun in Goku life, Goku was more like the sun instead. That, Seiten revered silently to himself, and wished for Goku life to be centered on him.
"Golden eyes shining with innocent and light, I wouldn't mind staining crimson blood if it were to protect you, Goku." Seiten mulled over his words, an insane grin threatening to split his face at the thought of blood.
Blood was always a nice sight especially spilled.
Winters were Goku least favorite time of years.
Everything was colder than usual, the snow piling up almost every day, and sometimes in worse days, the snow would pile up quickly to the point it blocked the cage view. Goku was glad that it wasn't one of those worst days this time. The scene was pretty, he admitted, but it was scary and it felt as if the cold would mock him. It reminded him of his solitude.
Although, there were a few times that he felt that he wasn't truly alone. Almost as if someone were watching him, but that was impossible. Goku knew that no one would dare venture here; no one would want to come all the way up here when there was a criminal under prison bars. It wasn't human, but it wasn't demonic either.
It felt…almost like a ghost would wrap it's arms around him, but that was impossible.
The brunette perked up when the white cold lumps began to spill between the bars. He let out a sigh, realizing that the normal snow days would become worse in a matter of time. Pulling his legs up and closer against his chest, Goku wrapped his knees with his arms, and buried his chin against them. His long chocolate locks fanning against his back evenly, providing little warmth it could provide. Dull golden eyes stare at the merciless white that would simply stare back at him.
Like the cold that took his little golden bird, his only friend in that short time.
Seiten gave credit that the boy senses were becoming sharp. Or perhaps it was the seal weakening, he couldn't decide. It only meant one thing and that meant sooner or later, Goku would be able to sense him. If Seiten was lucky, perhaps Goku could hear his voice.
Unlike Goku, who lacked the skill to hear, sense, and talk to Seiten, he on the other hand, could hear every little thoughts of the boy. He could sense every emotion that the boy was feeling. It pained his heart to sense the boy loneliness in this prison, the longing for the outside, and company of others. Once again for the umpteenth time, Seiten cursed the seal. If not for that, he could give the boy the company he needed. To ease Goku solitude, to speak and whisper sweet words, and to see light filling once more in Goku soul that began to dissipate long ago.
However, what Seiten could do is give any little comfort he be able to do. Such as the ghostly embrace that Goku had sensed lately. To never give up the loving words he always spoke to the boy in hopes that Goku would hear them one day. To keep them both from hurling into the swirls of despair of loneliness.
Yes, he had done his best when Goku fragile friend had died.
The golden bird that brought light into Goku life for a brief time, but that time was irreplaceable to the boy. Seiten allowed the bird presence around Goku since after all; he could not give Goku what he wanted due to circumstances said. The smile, the bright smile that was brighter than any light and made the sun look so dim, was worth to see. That was enough for Seiten to be at ease for a while.
That bird died in the middle of winter, just like this one.
Of course, the creature was fragile, not meant to stay in cold weather like these. The bird strength zapped away from the cold and harsh chilly winds, the remaining strength left in it was enough to land not too far from the stone prison. Goku had sensed something wrong, odder than usual in his sleep that alerted Seiten of what's wrong. It had hurt him to watch his other half desperately struggling to reach out to the dying bird from his prison, but it was for naught.
Goku couldn't reach his little friend and death had caught the bird.
So Goku cried out, howled to the very skies in despair of the death of his friend.
And Seiten could feel his Goku pain clearly as day itself, but Seiten only grieved because Goku was in pain.
The only comfort Seiten was able to give, what he could only do, was to make sure his other half had not gone insane.
"Goku, my dear and sweet little Goku…Do not cry…Do not be afraid." Seiten whispered lovingly to the boy, ghostly arms wrapped around his shoulders. He didn't miss how the shoulders had tensed from the embrace, but Goku would not know what it was. Seiten was content with burying his face against his shoulder, knowing clearly he was nothing more than a ghostly image at the moment.
Seiten wished he had his own body right now, but those were only wishes. The only thing he could do now was to be a ghost in the back of their shared body mind and whisper words that could never be heard.
But he never gave up hope.
"…For I am always here by your side forever...and ever."
He was like the Sun, Goku decided with his wide golden eyes staring up.
In these long cycle of seasons repeating over and over, Goku had lost count how long he had been in his prison. He gave up any hope that he could be free one day, that there would be no one that would want him. However, a person voice, somewhat moody and gruff had reached his ears. It was confusing; he never had called for him.
But he was desperately calling for someone.
Then he walked closer and closer to the point Goku could no longer ignore him. He had to look up and see the Sun. The man was like the Sun, golden blond hair that shone like the sunlight. There was reluctance from the Sun, and then a hand was reached out toward him. Goku golden eyes widened at the gesture, a choice that he felt that he didn't have at all since long ago.
A choice to be free and escape from this prison.
Slowly, as if beckoned, his arm raised up and hand outstretched that passed between the rock made bars. The talismans that were placed were tearing away into dust, the chains around his wrist and ankles shattered, and then when his hand had grabbed the Sun…
He was free, so free.
Free from this solitude, from the prison by his Sun.
For once in a very long time, since his little friend had died, Goku smiled and followed his Sun down the mountain.
Time had begun to move for him once again, the red threads of fate were beginning to act once more.
Seiten never liked Konzen for taking all of Goku attention; he assumed that Konzen had been the one to cause Goku to not remember him at all.
As much as Seiten loathed that man, he was the one who made Goku happy. But regardless, Seiten hated the man with passion.
Because of that reason, he hated Konzen Douji reincarnation as well.
Honestly, Seiten did not expect this predicament. Instead of Sun, he was sure that man was a Phoenix, dying to only be reborn once again. An annoying immortal bird that became the center of Goku attention, but he absolutely hated the man attitude from what he had seen so far.
Konzen reincarnation, Sanzo, was his name, always took out his frustrations on Goku. Not only that, he made Goku angry, worried, and sometimes crying. The latter was a rare thing when Goku was emotional. Another thing he hated about Sanzo, was how he, like Konzen, would be sometimes staring at Goku. Almost in debate and he didn't like the shine in those violet eyes when HIS Goku would present him flowers he plucked up or cards drawn childishly to him happily.
Oh, how Seiten wished had immediately killed the man the first time the coronet broke. The sweet freedom of being in his own body, the bloodlust had grown so much over the years to the point it was overpowering him. He knew that Konzen reincarnation would be different, such as the gun Sanzo held, and he had been taken by surprise by the flurry of scrolls that held power. Enough power to keep him immobilize for a hand shoved onto his head, but then…Goku sadness came out and before Seiten knew it, Goku had taken over to speak as if remembering the past. This left him in surprise, even Sanzo, and then a new coronet was made, sealing Seiten Taisei once again.
Thus Seiten watched the years go by from that point.
He was quite please to see his Goku smiling again, to see the energy spilling from him and radiated life all around. Goku was growing up, although slowly. There were times Seiten had snarled at the monks for their gossips that Goku chose to ignore, finding them to be quite pathetic. Seiten hatred toward Sanzo was still evident; the many ways that Seiten wanted to kill the priest and make his death painful.
And he would laugh while doing so.
There were events when Goku and Sanzo had met Kenren and Tenpou reincarnations. Kenren, now Gojyo, had some drastic changes. Such as the matching crimson hair and eyes, a half-demon, Seiten knew immediately. But the cocky and laidback personality and his womanizing habits were present. Then there was Tenpou reincarnation, Seiten had been surprised to hear that Tenpou was a criminal. He went by the name of Cho Gonou, a human who had been morphed into a demon after murdering massive amounts of demons to save his lover apparently. He changed his name later though to Hakkai after the event and been placed under Sanzo supervision. The politeness the man had never changed, but Seiten knew that underneath that exterior held power. Not compared to him, of course.
It was almost like witnessing them again in Heaven, except on the earth.
Seiten couldn't help laugh at that, finding the irony in it.
The few times that the coronet broke or Goku willingly removed it, Seiten was quite pleased to be able to fight, to shed blood with a goal. He had aimed to kill all threats, including those three, especially Sanzo.
But there would be always obstacles.
The first time was the She-He God, then Sanzo, and again Sanzo, and the last time was when Goku had been severely injured.
Seiten being mad was an understatement, he had been absolutely livid when that happened. He blamed Sanzo inability to look after his Goku and had to take matters into his own hands when Hakkai and Gojyo removed the coronet. Again, he never expected for the two to subdue him along with the newcomers. Hakkai removing his demon limiters was a great surprise and a downfall.
He was glad Goku was still alive.
That was all that mattered, but the boy was melancholy over the fact that damn priest had left him.
Damn you, Sanzo.
"…Are you hungry, Goku?" Hakkai asked, glancing at their young companion from the rear-view mirror. The depressed boy only shook his head.
"…'m not hungry." Goku muttered softly, wrapping the blanket tighter against his naked upper half, but he was kicked shortly by Gojyo long legs. He let out a yelp of pain and glared at the redhead, who looked bored, but his crimson eyes revealed he was not happy about that answer.
"What the hell was that for, you stupid kappa?!"
"You're hungry, why deny it?" Gojyo stated than questioned.
"I said I wasn't-OW! Will you stop kicking me?!" Goku rubbed his leg where the kappa had kicked him, the glare intensifying. But Gojyo paid no mind to it.
"You're hungry, monkey. Hey, Hakkai! When's the next town?" The redhead demanded, looking at the driver seat.
Hakkai paused, glancing between Gojyo and the road to realize what his former roommate was up to, and smiled. It was typical of Gojyo to attempt to cheer up Goku. The boy, no, young man, had been so depressed when Sanzo left. He chuckled softly and looked up to Gojyo and Goku.
"In another hour or two I believe."
"Great, now say you're hungry, monkey." Gojyo urged the young brunette across from him. Upon receiving no answer, Gojyo raised his leg to kick the monkey again. The monkey yelped again and glared at the kappa, opening his mouth to yell at the redhead to stop kicking him and stop calling him monkey, but paused midway.
Golden eyes met concerned crimson, and Goku immediately understood. Despite Gojyo best attempts to being his usual assholish self, he was worried about him. Hakkai was too as well, especially when scolding him earlier before they left, but Goku didn't mind it at all. He knew Hakkai had his limits as well when it comes to patience, but the healer was concerned. Just like how Gojyo was being right now. He couldn't let the thought of Sanzo abandoning him weigh heavily in his head, as Hakkai said, Sanzo had some sort of plan. With conviction, Goku sighed loudly and took in a deep breath before shouting. At Gojyo in particular since the asshole was asking for it earlier.
"I'M HUNGRY DAMN IT ALL!"
Gojyo covered his ears, wincing at the volume of the monkey lungs. But the redhead grin no less, glad that the monkey was back to normal. Hakkai had expected it sooner or later and kept his cool, although he winced as well at the shout.
"Good, good. That's our monkey!" The half-demon perked up, laughing while avoiding Goku punches.
"Shut up, ain't a monkey, you stupid kappa!"
"Whatever, I'll let the kappa thing slide this once since you're back to normal!" Gojyo continued to laugh, cursing when a hard punch hit his shoulder. He rubbed his sore shoulder, ignoring the smug look the monkey had.
"That's right…So what if Sanzo wanted to leave us for a while? He's gonna come back…right?" The brunette thought to himself, but he couldn't help feel lingering of doubt in his heart. He was sure that Hakkai was right about Sanzo, he had no doubts about that. Sanzo didn't really do things without a reason, not that the blond would say it out loud. There were times that Goku had been uncertain if Sanzo cared or not about him, the priest had too much going on to care.
"He's too prideful, that Sanzo…" A rumble of disgust stirred inside Goku head, nearly making him jump, and frantically looking around. The brunette was confused and panicked, swearing he heard something. Gojyo or Hakkai had not noticed in the change of behavior from their companion, too busy talking and making plans on w hat to do onward. Goku willed himself to relax, swearing that he was imagining things. The low chuckle inside his head had not helped ease his worries, but Goku tried not to look anxious. It was just his imagination.
"Imagination, am I?" The voice, deeper than his voice, sounded amused. Goku swore that the voice was purring now yet he tried to ignore it. Whatever manner of creature it was had sensed the boy thoughts and growled lowly in displeasure. "Do not ignore me, dear Goku. I assure you I'm not your imagination."
Then who…?
"Seiten Taisei, what humans, demons, and gods alike refer to me as. You too as well."Seiten answered with a low grumble, very pleased when he had Goku full attention now. Goku frowned at that in question, tilting his head as he mulled over things. The many things Seiten could sense and read easily, and would answer. After all, an overdue chat was in order, and this was the best time now since the seal had weakened so much. "Surprising, isn't it? That I have never spoke before? I'll tell you why, my dear Goku. It's because the many times I have been released that weakened the seal between us. I have been here; always have by your side for a very long time. Even when you were imprisoned, I have seen it all. "
Seiten had great patience, staying silent while waiting for Goku to process this through his head. He was greatly pleased, ecstatic even when Goku could hear him. His Goku could understand now, realizing that Seiten had been there for five long centuries. Sealed however, but the boy had more questions that Seiten didn't mind answering.
"So then…Why did you attack Sanzo and Hakkai and Gojyo? Why?" Goku asked inside his head, when he closed his eyes he could get an image of the creature. An exact copy except with subtle differences such as the wild chocolate mane, the feral look he had, the slit golden eyes, and fangs and claws. He could understand why the others were fearful of Seiten, Gojyo mainly. Goku shivered at the sight, practically feeling the power Seiten radiated. He swore Seiten grinned at him before he opened his eyes.
"Because…I hate them, Sanzo especially. That priest is too blind, too prideful, and he hurts you too much. He's incapable." Seiten answered bluntly, aware of the frown marring Goku face. He expected the boy to stand up and start yelling any minute, catching the attention of his companions. However, to Seiten surprise, Goku kept calm.
"Sanzo…He's…I know he's violent, moody, always keep things to himself, always telling us to leave him alone, and always…always too impossible, but…He's…He's…" Goku stuttered in his answer, trailing off to find the words. The doubts were becoming clear in the brunette innocent and naïve heart, Seiten grinned broadened at this. He could use it to his advantage, even if it were cruel for him to do so. He needed Goku and his help in the future. To do that, he would need Goku full devotion and loyalty to him.
Damn Sanzo or anyone else.
Goku belonged to him, Seiten Taisei.
"And? What is it you are trying to say? That he cared for you? That he would smile if you tried hard enough? That he would return every single gesture you did for him? You know he's not like that, Goku…" Seiten spoke as if explaining to a child, but he almost reconsidered his words when Goku froze up suddenly. The stakes he created from his words were stabbing Goku for sure, yet the boy considered them carefully. Then, slowly and softly, Seiten continued with his final strike.
"Does he love you?"
Goku fell silent after that, not answering immediately to the other half living in his mind. They all made sense. Seiten Taisei questions have him doubt Sanzo more and more. Goku thought he knew Sanzo well enough that he didn't do all of the things, because it wasn't in the blond nature to do so. He knew that Sanzo had his own sides, his own ways of showing that he cared at least. Even if they were violent after the moment had been broken, signaling the usual routines Goku could never get tired off. Yet, there were times he craved for something more from the blond. Something he tried so hard to hide, because he simply knows that Sanzo wouldn't acknowledge it. That thought hurt his heart a lot, bringing an intense ache in his chest. But, spending time with Sanzo and having what he could have been enough for him.
"You do know…I could give you what you wish for, Goku. More than what Sanzo could give." Seiten voice lulled inside his head, his tone soft and loving. He chuckled at the confused expression Goku had, finding it adorable.
"Eh..?"
"If I had my own body, I could give you exactly what you want. However, as of right now, it's only to certain extents." The creature of the earth continued, smiling at the conclusion dawning his other half face. Then Goku flushed madly and made some quiet stammering noises.
"That…! Well…Isn't that…weird?" Goku asked quietly, trying to imagine the situation itself. It was odd to Goku about being with his other half, a half that loved to kill and such. What was more is that he had never expected this. He swore that the creature inside his head had shrugged nonchalantly.
"What is weird about this? Love is love, is it not?" Seiten stated than questioned as it were obvious. Assuming that his other half could not understand, he decided to emphasize. "Regardless of gender, sibling, race, or the alike, there is still the so-called love. Yes? No? Added, we're practically different in matter of soul and personality."
"…Why then? Why me?" The young brunette finally asked, almost dreading to ask. Yet his tone held curiosity in it, questioning Seiten Taisei motives. Goku heard another chuckle inside his head, and wondered if he was being made fun of now.
"A simple question, love…It's because we have a bond that not even Gods could destroy, even if they try to. A very, very, old, but strong bond from a long time ago that still lives." The creature of the earth purred. Goku could've sworn he felt someone embracing him, but that was impossible since the kappa was talking to Hakkai still. His golden eyes widened when he realized who it was and Seiten chuckled fondly in his head, purring in content. The brunette clutched against the blanket tighter around him, closing his eyes to meet the feral replica of himself smiling at him, but then it turned predatory as the ghostly embrace became clearer to Goku sense of touch.
"It seems you realized, Goku…I was the one, who always hold you in these arms when you were lonely, when we were inside that prison the Gods casted us away. That's why, I won't any God, demon, or Sanzo get in my way. That priest can't have you." Seiten growled darkly at the mention of the blond. The feeling of arms around him slowly disappeared, making Goku relax slightly. But the creature possessiveness was evident that this wasn't going to be the last time they talked.
"Remember from this point on, Goku...That you belong to me."
The creature presence slowly withdrew himself with reluctance from Goku mind, retreating to the very depths of his head. It was then Goku could fully relax, not realizing how anxious he had been. The brunette force to bring himself back to reality, where he had been sitting in the backseat of Jeep and watching Gojyo and Hakkai discussing some things. He realized now that he was sweating slightly, just from talking to Seiten Taisei. He sighed softly to himself, fully relax yet fully shaken by that conversation. There were things Goku could understand, but the rest were riddles. He had some doubts that were the last talk they were going to have, but he would be prepared for the next time.
Despite Seiten Taisei cruel and crazed demeanor from what Gojyo had described, he could make a conversation if he wanted to. Although, he wondered why he was looking forward to talking to Seiten next time when they had the chance too. Goku chose not to dwell on the subject too long, looking over to Hakkai calling for him. There was a town and they could get some rest, food, and what they needed. But Hakkai had to mention the money.
Ugh, this is going to be one hell of a journey.
The creature of earth relaxed in the depths of their shared minds. Seiten was absolutely giddy that the seal had been so weakened he could reach out to his other half and speak to him. The plan had been set just like how he liked it. He had no reason to lie about his feelings for the boy-no, young man now-, and was completely honest in interrogating him. The seed of doubts were placed in his Goku heart about his keeper and Seiten only need to nurture it to how he liked it. Goku love, loyalty and devotion were part of his plan. They were indeed needed for the future.
For now, he would let things flow their way through. He wasn't entirely cruel to attempt to shatter any trust between Sanzo and Goku. The blond, to his distaste, was still needed for both Goku and his plan. The priest would be Goku downfall in the future and Seiten will absolutely enjoy seeing him writhe in agony. He would talk to the young man, woo him with his words and promise, and to give any sort of love he was able to offer.
Oh, it would be more delightful if Goku would remember everything. Seiten giggled, cackled at the very thought of how smoothly things were going.
"Goku…My dear and sweet Goku, there are just some things you never know. Not even the fact you were so precious to me, not even my key in this plan of mine…"
A/N: Reviews are quite delightful~ Criticism are helpful, but no flames please. ^^
