Dear You,
I have watched you from afar and lusted after you much. You invade my dreams every night and I just can't seem to let you go. I have memorized every curve of your face, every dip of your abs, and every crease of your arms. You face appears whenever I close my eyes, but I do not love you. I can't love you after the way you treated me, but my body loves you. It craves your touch, it craves your hands, your mouth, you. I long to feel your hands, the hands that make me tingle with passion and need. I long to smell your scent, the scent that brings me comfort and reminds me of what is good. I long to call out your name in passion and hear mine in return. I long to hear your moans clash with mine as our bodies intertwine.
You walk past me every day and you have no idea. I dream of your face above mine, of your body against mine, of your scent mixed with mine. Your sandy-colored hair, your dimpled smile, you piercing green eyes; they haunt my thoughts and dreams. I hope that you stop and pull me close next time you walk by; I hope to feel your rigid muscles hold me against you. I wish my body didn't call for a boy I can't have. I fear that this pull to you will never end; this need for your warmth, your touch. I watch you and sometimes you watch me back, but only for a moment. But that glance is all I need; with it, I know you feel it too, that connection. My mind knows I can't have you but my body refuses to listen.
I lust after you and a part of me knows I always will. I picture us together every time my eyelids shut. I see different places; my bedroom, a hotel, a couch, a floor. Every time the scene is different, but the boy is the same. It is you and I fear that you it will always be. My head wants to move on but my body is paralyzed, stuck under your spell. You have ruined me, tainted every experience I have ever had and will ever have. Your smooth but rough hands; your strong, flexing muscles; your deep, soul-searching eyes; your perfect, soft lips. I need them and I need you. I have nightmares of your smile. Oh, what that smile does to me. I wake up screaming your name in more ways than one. I can't stop.
We have shared a connection. You made me whole. But you left just as quickly as you came and now, now I feel even more empty than before. I had you that one time, but you were never mine; just a silly distraction from your perfect life. You will always be my first; I cannot take that back. You are the one my body craves, the one I watch from afar, the one I can never love. After all this time I will finally admit it. I lust you, but I will never love you.
Forever yours,
Me.