Country Song Prompt Challenge, Carrie Underwood - Don't Forget to Remember Me
Don't Forget To Remember
After a few years in the military, Dave Rossi had joined the Bureau in the late nineteen seventies. He had witnessed countless of crimes occur and the aftermath of them. He had watched fellow agents soar through the ranks, others bundle their way into obscurity, a few had been imprisoned, and unfortunately, some had died. Each event had affected him whether directly or subtly, however the one promotion that had affected him the most, was not one of his several, but that of his subordinate, Media Liaison, Supervisory Special Agent, Jennifer Jareau's brand new one.
He stared out the window of the motel that the team had checked into several hours ago. The darkness symbolized what he had felt like since that night. He felt as if something was missing. The profiler in him recognized that she was missing, but the man wanted to forget that. On occasion, the team had mourned JJ's departure as if she had died when in actuality she had moved up the government ranks. However, he had not mourned her absence from the team, but that of his daily life. Her absence left a void in his professional life, but a more significant void would exist within his heart.
He missed and desired her, but most of all he simply loved her. He sighed and shook his head in quiet disbelieving amusement. He had the unfortunate knack of falling knee deep, head over heels, into love with women that were never meant to be his; first Emma and now Jennifer. Of course, he had had three failed marriages, but he had either been in lust with them, simply lonely, or a combination of the two. He closed his eyes as he remembered the night that they had last spoken.
The door to his office had been open, because after the horrendous case in Los Angeles, he had been too exhausted to close it behind him as he had drug himself into his office to his desk then down unto the comfortable leather chair. He had been relieved to be home, that the case was over with and that each of the team was safe, even though Morgan had come close to being the opposite. Dave inwardly sighed at the stark similarities between his younger self and that of SSA Derek Morgan; both loud mouthed, cocky, confident past the point of arrogant, attracted more trouble than not, thoroughly enjoyed a good time, and most alike in that of their player personalities with no signs of settling down to the stereotypical happily ever after. However, Dave believed that there was hope for the younger agent that, Dave believed that hope to be Penelope Garcia.
Just as thoroughly as he believed that Garcia was Morgan's hope, he knew that he had no hope left in attaining the family he had, at one point, wanted. He had forced himself several years ago to no longer want the family life, because it had hurt entirely too much to want something that he would and could never have.
Think of what not you may have and it shall appear. Gooseflesh developed on his skin and the hair both on the back of his neck and on his arms stood at attention. He glanced from the report he had been working on and quickly masked all emotion he felt for and about the woman that stood just on the other side of threshold. He should have verbally acknowledged her presence, but he was unable to do so.
"May I come in?" She asked quietly.
He nodded, as he was afraid that if he started to speak that he would make a fool of both himself and her. Yes, Dave Rossi, was afraid. He was afraid of alienating her completely from his life. He needed her just as judicial systems needed criminals prosecute, because without criminals there would be no need of the judicial system. Without Jennifer Jareau, Dave Rossi was unsure of where he would be, funny how he believed that, as he had lived fifty years without her, but the thought of a single day without her made him distressed. Yet he would have to learn to live without seeing or talking to her each day.
In a soft tone that he reserved for young victims, he simply spoke her name, but the unspoken question of why was she here was too loud to her sensitive ears. "Jennifer?"
"I wanted to thank you." She stated as she stood stiffly in front of him with her hands cradled against her front.
Confused, he asked for clarification. "Thank me? For what?"
She blinked as if she had not expected him to ask that question. "I told you once before that you were the reason why I joined the Bureau. I wanted to thank you for that, but more so, I wanted to thank you for your guidance and leadership the past couple of years." She cringed, because that was not what she had really wanted to say.
He blinked too as if she thoroughly confused him. "Jennifer," He paused considering how to compliment her without showing her what he truly thought and felt for and about her. "Whatever guidance or leadership that I brought to this team had no consequence on your performance as an agent or Media Liaison. You were well on your way to excellence, before Jason ever considered quitting, which was long before I considered a return."
Neither spoke for several minutes, as he was afraid that he might have given her a glimpse of his true opinion of her and she was afraid to reveal the reason why she had decided to stop by his office. After engaging in a small battle of wills, blue eyes had left brown, as if shy or ashamed. His eyebrows had arched in both confusion and interest at that telltale sign of being uncomfortable with oneself or the topic broached. She had stared at one of his many awards before she gathered the courage to look him in the eyes. His gaze softened as he listened to her. Her body language alternated between rigid and tentative.
"Dave, don't forget," She had paused as if unsure of the words that she had been about to vocalize. "To pencil me in your planner every so often," She paused once more before smiling at him through the unshed tears that he at once noticed. She had replied in a soft whisper as if unsure of his reaction, "I'm going to miss you, Dave."
He blinked and his mouth slightly opened as if he were to retort, but she never knew what that would have been, because she continued onward in her confession as if she were afraid if she had not of continued she would never vocalize what she wanted, no, need to say. "I'm going to miss your stubbornness and cocky attitude. I am going to miss your subtle spats with Aaron and how you irritate Strauss. How you went from being an insufferable loner to an integral part of the team. However, most of all, I am not going to miss SSA Rossi, but the man David Rossi. I am going to miss the way you care about the team, how you fret over anything and everything, how considerate you are of victims and their families. How unmovable you are when you set your mind on something. I'm going to miss talking to you and simply observing you. I'm going to miss everything."
She had attempted to take a deep calming breath, but her lungs had rebelled, and the breath had turned shaky and shallow. The emotion she had locked within herself, which she refused to release, had become harder to handle. She was in love with the man that sat only a couple of feet from her, but she was too much of a coward to take the chance that he may feel the same.
She continued with a small almost embarrassed smile. "I'm going to miss you so much, but if you make time for me, Dave, I will always have time for you." She sighed before she turned to leave as if she had been awaiting on a response, but she received none because he had sat immobilized by shock of her confession, that of the mere fact, that she was going to miss him.
Although, he had intently watched her gracefully leave his office, walk for the last time through the bullpen, and shortly pause at the thick glass double door entrance of the BAU, he did not hear her confess what she had so deeply wanted to.
As she gripped the handle of the right door, she whispered more to herself than that of the empty bullpen. "Good Bye, Dave, I love you."
How can one forget something that one never knew? If only he had heard her, he would not have been able to forget, because he would have remembered that, with each breath he would take afterward, because he loved her too. He must not forget to remember to tell her so the next time he spoke to her.
Note: Please let me know what you thought of this Dave/JJ story.